Camanti nin nasta (Help me heal)

Chapter three I love you

A year has passed by and Elladan and Leloth hadn’t yet tired of each other’s company and were seen together more and more. Today they were sitting in the sun, talking amiably. Elrond silently watched them from the shadows, pleased with the change that continued to grow in Elladan.

He smiled when he sensed Glorfindel behind him, trying to sneak up on him. “Perhaps soon they’ll become more than friends, don’t you think, Glorfindel?”
The blond growled and came to stand before Elrond, an angry expression on his face. “How do you do that? Nobody senses me.”
Elrond raised an eyebrow. “And no one manages to sneak up on me. Give it up, meldir.”
Glorfindel sighed frustrated and turned, looking out over the valley. “We still don’t know the truth about him.”
Elrond smiled. “It really bites you, doesn’t it?” He smiled warmly. “Let it rest and focus on Elrohir. He might become lonely when Elladan and Leloth deepen their relationship.”
Glorfindel smiled. “I think Erestor is better suited for that. He doesn’t have to leave for patrol and such. And you know the twins; they need a friend at the weirdest times.”
Elrond grinned. “Aye, they take after me, I know. No need to rub it in.” He smiled fondly as he remembered the time after his wife had sailed, a time during which his friendship with both Erestor and Glorfindel had deepened. He knew he had driven them both to the brink of insanity with his extremely erratic and impulsive behaviour.

He turned and walked away. “I shall speak to Erestor myself.”

Glorfindel grinned and hastily left to pack. He knew he had better make today’s patrol last some days. Erestor was bound to become extremely pissed at him.

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Elladan embraced his friend goodbye for the evening and he hurried to his rooms. He regretted parting ways more and more and he knew he was in love, but he would never admit it.

Elrohir grinned when his twin once again entered without even noticing the changed decorations. Elrohir figured he could even make out with someone and his twin wouldn’t see. That’s how big Elladan’s crush on Leloth was and he ached to help him.

He nodded and stood. “Elladan, are you in love with him?”
Caught of guard Elladan nodded and sighed again. “I want to wed him.” Hearing his own words he swiftly closed his mouth and glared at his smirking twin. “How could you?”
Elrohir shrugged. “Come on, everybody knows you two are smitten with each other.” He laughed at the dumbfound expression that graced Elladan’s face. “Aye, he is hooked on you. I can understand you don’t see anything else, but that you failed to see that…”

Elrohir shook his head and sat down beside his twin. “I think he has fallen for you when he first saw you. According to adar his eyes never left you.”
Elladan shrugged. “I found him. He was grateful.”
Elrohir shook his head. “He fell in love. Why do you continue to part ways at night when you both long to rest in each other’s arms? Nobody understands the two of you. They don’t understand why you don’t pursue him and they don’t understand why he doesn’t speak of his love for you.”

He embraced his twin. “Go on, go to him. Show him how you feel. He’s not going to wait forever.”
That had some result and Elladan stood. “You think I should…?”
Elrohir nodded and ushered him out the door. “If I hear you slept anywhere else I will not rest until I deliver you there myself.”
Elladan widened his eyes, knowing Elrohir wasn’t kidding and he rushed away.

Elrohir shook his head and silently followed, just to make sure. He watched as Elladan knocked on the door and he saw how surprised Leloth was to see the twin, but Elrohir also noticed the desire hidden in the orbs and smiled. Perhaps his twin would get lucky tonight.
He was so engrossed in watching the two elves he failed to notice the presence behind him.

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Erestor looked up from the documents when the door opened. Seeing Elrond’s concerned look he braced himself; it usually meant bad news. Or a difficult assignment.

Elrond sat down and inhaled deeply. “It’s about Leloth.” Erestor cocked his head and the near black eyes narrowed minutely, making Elrond shake his head and the Peredhel placed a calming hand on his friend’s arm. “Be at peace; all is well. But he and Elladan are bound to become lovers.”
Erestor’s eyes twinkled with happiness. “So I wasn’t mistaken. Elladan is melting, so to speak.”
Elrond nodded. “Aye, but I’m afraid it might affect Elrohir. He never had to share his twin before.”
Erestor shrugged. “We will all be there for him.”

Elrond nodded but locked their eyes, a sign Erestor knew well. Elrond was about to make a request; one he might not necessarily like. The Peredhel sighed. “Glorfindel suggested you spend some time with Elrohir the first coming days, look after him for me.”
Erestor blinked. “What? Why?”
Elrond swallowed, realising he had to carefully steer Erestor towards accepting. “Because you are always here and Glorfindel is right; the twins are impulsive in their needs; much like their father. Glorfindel might not be there when Elrohir needs some extra attention. But you are. Plus you share the same interests.”

Erestor stood and walked to the arched window. “You are asking me to spend my free time with your son, am I correct?”
Elrond nodded. “Aye. I know you rather spend it in the library and read, but Elrohir is fond of reading as well.”
Unknown to Elrond, Erestor smiled. He knew all about Elrohir’s tastes in books. He knew precisely which volumes the twin has devoured and which ones he avoided.

After some more thought he nodded. “I shall do as you ask.” He didn’t turn and continued staring outside. There was a reason he remained locked in his study for so long, but he wasn’t going to tell anyone.
His eyes hardened, seeing Glorfindel ride away, heavily packed. /So you know? You knew and now you flee for me. Doesn’t matter. I can wait./
And with a plotting smile on his face Erestor turned and walked out his study in search of the twins.

He widened his eyes in surprise when he found Elrohir, spying on someone, something the twins haven’t done for ages. Walking closer he frowned, seeing Elladan kiss Leloth. /Elrond will be pleased./

Elladan and Leloth entered the room and the door closed and Erestor deemed it safe to speak. “Care to tell me why you feel it necessary to spy on your brother?”
Elrohir gasped and jumped up, twirling around. His shock at being discovered evaporated when he saw Erestor smiling, though the stern look remained. He smiled warmly. “I just wanted to make sure Elladan followed my advice. They’ve been beating around the bush long enough.”
Erestor smiled approvingly. “I was on my way to control some new volumes. Would you like to help?”
Elrohir nodded. “Always. You know how much I like books. I can’t wait to read them.”
Erestor smiled. “Two deal with painting and one is on warfare.”
Elrohir shuddered and grinned. “All right, not all of them.” He wondered how Erestor knew he didn’t like them. He frowned when he thought of something horrible; what if Erestor thought those were Elrohir’s favourites? That made him shudder again and he sped up, eager to get that misconception out of the world.

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Elladan groaned when sunlight assaulted his eyes. He squished his eyes shut to block it out, vaguely wondering what was wrong; the light was never this bright in his rooms. In order to avoid it even more he turned round, smiling when he found his twin holding him.

Content, he inhaled deep only to flash his eyes open and stare at the form before him, holding him. Instantly his memory returned and he groaned. It hadn’t been just a lustful dream, it had been real. Now what? Seeing awareness return to the orbs he stilled and held his breath, awaiting Leloth’s move.

Leloth smiled when he found Elladan still locking in his arms. “Morning, vanimaer.”
Elladan blushed at the endearment and averted his eyes, not willing to see what he feared to see.
Leloth narrowed his eyes in understanding. /You’re clearly not as far as I thought. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done this./ He caressed Elladan’s face and leaned in for a kiss, frowning when Elladan pulled away. “Did I do something wrong?”
Elladan shook his head. “I’m sorry for last night. I… I don’t know what came over me. Ro told me to talk to you and…”
Leloth laughed warmly. “And you did more than talking.”

He sat up and reinitiated the caresses. “Please do not feel guilty by letting your urges control you. You didn’t hurt me and I wanted it too. You would have woken up in the healing house if I didn’t.”
Despite the situation Elladan laughed at the words. “Aye, you are extremely good with a sword. Not even Glorfindel can best you.”
Leloth grinned. “I am sure he could, vanimaer. And I am not willing to find out.”
Elladan nodded. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you can still fight so well.”

He locked eyes. “You’re really not mad at me?”
Leloth shook his head. “Nay. But I will be if you tell me you just used me. I want it to be more, Elladan. I love you.”

Those words seemed to light Elladan and the twin looked at him gratefully. He wanted to assure him it was mutual but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He just couldn’t say those words. He didn’t want anything to happen to him. Instead he leaned in and claimed the lips again, showing what he could not speak.
Leloth understood and smiled. And even though Elladan didn’t say the words he had seen the depth of his love in his eyes. /Two years… I’ve got two years to make you speak the words. I must succeed or I have to leave you./

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Elrond contained a snicker when he saw Glorfindel hiding behind a pillar. “Good morn, meldir.”
Glorfindel shrieked and twirled round. “What? You always…”
Elrond laughed freely. “Enter the dining room corridor from the other side. Not this morn.”
Glorfindel stalked into the room and plunged down on his seat, muttering beneath his breath.

Erestor raised an eyebrow. “Back from patrol already? You’re getting old, meldir, if you can no longer keep sane out there.”
Glorfindel merely glared at the counsellor and started eating.
Elrond shook his head and sat down, handing Erestor a book. “Here you are, meldir, though it is beyond me how it got in my study.”
Erestor smiled and accepted the book. “Me neither.” His eyes however were locked with Glorfindel and the blond could easily read the message. Erestor had deliberately placed it there, therefore failing Glorfindel’s attempt to sneak up on Elrond. He knew this plan would have worked and as revenge Erestor had thwarted it.

Elrond was blissfully unaware of the silent conversation as he addressed his youngest son. “Good morn, Elrohir. Up already?”
Elrohir grinned. “Up still is more like it. I hardly slept. Erestor kept me up all night.”
Elrond’s eyes flashed towards Erestor in wonder and the counsellor only barely succeeded to hide a blush. He shrugged. “Elrohir drew me into a conversation. Before we knew it dawn was upon us.”
Elrond smiled. “Well, that’s a good reason to skip your rest. But don’t do it too often, Elrohir. Erestor gets extremely moody if he hasn’t had enough rest.”
Erestor narrowed his eyes. “So?” His tone was daring and Elrond smiled. “I have to work with you.”

He deemed the conversation over and filled his plate. “Where’s Elladan? Eating with Leloth again?”
A chuckle from the door proved him wrong and he smiled fondly at his eldest, who guided Leloth inside. “Nay, adar, we are here.”
Elrond smiled warmly when he saw the changed behaviour of both Leloth and his son. Oh, he was happy for them both. “Leloth, come sit down. You’ve been in Imladris a year now. Are you still happy with the situation?”
Leloth nodded and his smile was catching. “Aye, more than happy. I love it here. I still feel I haven’t seen everything yet, though I know I have.” He looked at Elladan. “Can we go to the stream again today? I really missed hearing the water.”
Erestor narrowed his eyes. “Why? I thought there was plenty of water in Valinor?”
Elladan glared at him and shrugged. “Perhaps it is not as talkative as the water here. Come on then, let’s eat.”

Elrond and Glorfindel exchanged a happy look. Seeing Elladan defend Leloth indicated real deep feelings.

Glorfindel made sure to eat swift for two reasons: he wanted to get away from Erestor to let the advisor cool down some more and to plot on new ways to sneak up on Elrond, successful this time.

Elrond smiled and stood. “Erestor, if you are done; we have a lot of work waiting. Elrohir, what will you be doing?”
The twin shrugged. “Don’t know. I shall ask if they need me somewhere and if not, well, I think I shall read some more.” Slowly they all left and went their ways.

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Leloth looked up and smiled at Elladan, who seemed utterly relaxed. He waded out and climbed the bank, joining the twin on the grass. “It was nice.”
Elladan smiled. “You looked it. And they call me a child.” He rolled his eyes but gasped and mentally hit himself when Leloth’s wounded expression registered. He scooted closer and embraced him. “Aiya, forgive me. That was harsh.”
Leloth smiled, leaned and shrugged. “You are right though.”
Elladan widened his eyes. “What?”
Realising he had slipped Leloth cursed himself and swiftly figured out how to prevent it from turning worse. “I mean, it’s a whole new life here for me, never being here and all. It makes me feel like a child on exploration.”
Elladan grinned and pulled him closer still. “Still, I should have thought before speaking. Forgive me.”
Leloth nodded. “Always. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. Why would you if you love me, right?”
Elladan smiled and nodded. “Right.” He leaned in and claimed his lips.

Leloth pulled back and sighed. “Can I ask you a question?”
Elladan nodded, cocking his head in wonder.
Leloth didn’t end the embrace or sat away, but he did make eye contact. “What is it with your father and Glorfindel?”
Elladan laughed freely and shook his head. “Aye, I know. It must look like they’re lovers or something, I think.”
Leloth nodded. “Or something is about right.”
Elladan still snickered and relocked their eyes. “Glorfindel constantly comes up with new ways to sneak up on adar, who doesn’t allow Glorfindel to take victory. It is sort of a contest that arose one day and has never stopped since.” He shrugged. “They could never be lovers though. Glorfindel still loves Ecthelion and adar our nana.”
Leloth nodded and hesitated. He knew what had happened, but he could not let Elladan know and had to pretend ignorance. “Where is she? I’d like to meet her.”
Elladan hung his head. “She sailed to Valinor. She had to or she would have faded. Orcs attacked her and she couldn’t see the beauty anymore and she left.”
Leloth tightened his embrace and gently kissed him. “You have me now.”

Elladan looked up and momentarily was lost in thought. /Aye, I have you now. Mother went to Valinor and you came from there. Did they give me you?/ It fuelled his belief he would lose Leloth as well should he speak his love. How could he ever utter those words again? It had been the last words he had said to his mother. And he didn’t want to risk losing his family, especially Leloth.

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Leloth smiled when Elladan dozed off and he held him close. His eyes widened on their own accord when Mandos materialized before them.

The Vala knelt and smiled. “Do not worry, I’ve not come to take you back. I’m here to warn you.”
Leloth blinked and cocked his head, involuntarily tightening his hold on Elladan.
Seeing it brought a smile to the Vala’s face. “You’ve got a hard road ahead of you. And remember that he has to voice the words. Showing it isn’t enough. The three of us know he loves you but he will never heal unless he faces it. And that’s why you are here.”
Leloth nodded, feeling a fist close around his heart. Deep down he knew Elladan might never say it.
Mandos smiled and stood. “Worry not. He -will- speak the words.”

He faded and watched Leloth succumb to his spell and fall asleep as well. He felt sad, knowing the future. The wind caressed them as well and Mandos could hear Manwë’s words. `His love is strong; it will be rewarded.`
Mandos nodded. `I know, but still…`
`Things have been set in motion a long time ago and it is too late to turn back. They will be happy.`
`And them?`
`The memories return and assault him at night. She needs more time too heal but will be ready when the time comes.`
Mandos returned to his house and sighed. He felt the pain not only of the dead but of the living as well and the pain of a broken heart was almost unbearable. He sat down and sighed again. /I know things will turn out right, but that doesn’t stop the present from hurting./ But he, like everybody else, had no choice but to wait.

Chapter four Catastrophe

Elrohir had a fun time, talking to Erestor about the latest book he’s read. But an hour ago they had settled in a comfortable silence and Erestor had gone back to work, with Elrohir watching him.

The twin had always found it fascinating to see Erestor work in the library. The surroundings seemed created just for him and the soft, warm light made the counsellor’s features come out even better. Elrohir couldn’t remember when exactly he had lost his heart to him, but he had vowed to remain silent. /Life is cruel. Mother’s in Valinor and Erestor loves another./ He sighed rejected. /Who does not love him back./
Erestor’s eyes suddenly settled on him and he blushed.

Erestor smiled. “What is on your thoughts?”
Elrohir sighed, knowing he would not receive a name. He never did. “You are. You and the one you admire. Why won’t you tell me who he is? I can help. He’s a fool for denying you.” Passion seeped into his voice and Erestor’s heart warmed.
He stood and embraced the heated Peredhel. “Let it rest. It can never be, Elrohir.”
Elrohir sighed. “It’s that I know it isn’t adar or Glorfindel, but I have only them left as options.” He sighed as he shrugged. “But on the other hand… You know so much more elves than I do. I only want to see you happy, Erestor.”
Erestor smiled and guided Elrohir to the couch. “But I am happy. Not having his love does not mean I do not have his friendship and unconditional support. Our relationship is similar to a wedded couple, Elrohir.”
Elrohir narrowed his eyes and repeated the words inside his head so he wouldn’t forget, knowing it was an important clue. “You just don’t sleep together or make love.” He stood and walked to the window, looking out.
Erestor smiled warmly at his back. /Ai, Elrohir, you can never learn the truth./

He jumped up as bitten when the door flung open and Glorfindel rushed inside. He could not help but glare at him. Elrohir too had twirled round in surprise.
Glorfindel ignored the two of them and went straight for one of the top shelves, his eyes scanning through the titles. Suddenly he released a triumphant growl and grabbed one cover from the shelf. Instead of running away, as Erestor had expected, Glorfindel opened the book and started leaving through it.
Elrohir narrowed his eyes and swiftly approached the blond, having realised it was a book on Gondolin. He placed a caring hand on the blond’s arm. “Glorfindel?”
The blond looked up and smiled, pointing to the book. “Leloth. This is Leloth!”
Erestor cocked his head and grabbed the book from Glorfindel.

The door opened again and a surprised, overly concerned Elrond rushed inside. “Where’s the fire?”
Elrohir grinned and leaned against his father, who instantly embraced him. “Only in Glorfindel’s mind, tonight. He rushed in and grabbed a book on Gondolin.”
Elrond frowned, wondering what had possessed the seneschal to do that.
Suddenly Erestor gasped before he read out loud. “…And military advisor to the king since the beginning, turned his back on him and left to help create an escape and became Idril’s personal guard.” He looked up to Glorfindel. “There’s no picture.”
Glorfindel nodded. “It is him. I knew I knew those features but I figured I might have seen them in Valinor, but now…”
Elrond narrowed his eyes. “Surely you are not suggesting…” He shook his head, determinedly. “Nay. That’s impossible. It is more likely someone named his son after Leloth o Gondolin. They cannot be the same.”
Elrohir nodded. “Aye. Leloth is more a pacifist than a warrior.”
Glorfindel nodded as well, not understanding this at all. He was sure it was Leloth, but it just didn’t seem to fit.

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One year later…

Elladan smiled warmly at his love, who sat on the balcony, reading and admiring the sun.
“Are you going to remain there or are you joining me, meleth?”

Elladan’s heart warmed and walked closer. He settled behind his lover, so he could draw him against his own body, enabling the other to continue reading.
Leloth smiled at the gesture. “You are the most caring elf I know. I love you.”
Elladan smiled and rested his head on the other’s shoulder, after applying a gentle kiss to the skin.

He groaned when the door opened and Glorfindel walked inside. “Elladan. I came to remind you of your patrol, that is leaving in an hour.”
Leloth frowned. “Isn’t that tomorrow?”
Glorfindel nodded. “It was. Until Elrohir and Elladan swapped.”
The elf stood and steered Elladan inside. “Then we must get you ready. Don’t worry, Glorfindel, he will be there.”

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Erestor looked up with a frown when Elrond plunged down in his seat.

Elrond grinned when he noticed the counsellor’s worried look and he realised he was acting out of character. “I am sorry, Erestor. It’s a dark dream I had.” Erestor narrowed his eyes in dread, knowing some of the Peredhel’s dreams were prophecies. “Elladan was practically destroying the place because Leloth left.”

He rubbed his temples. “What can that mean?” He looked at Erestor. “Do you think he will leave?”
Erestor shrugged. “I know he loves him and would never willingly harm him, but Elladan will never speak of his love.” He looked rueful. “Perhaps one day he might give up on Elladan ever voicing his love.”
Elrond sighed. “We must be ready then. Perhaps if we talked to Leloth? Make him understand…”
Erestor shrugged. “Possible. But we must also be there for Elladan. It’s fortunate he has his twin.”
Elrond nodded. “Would you prepare Elrohir mentally? I don’t know when it will happen, but I fear it will.”

Erestor closed his eyes and thought but soon opened them and cocked his head. “Perhaps we should do nothing, Elrond. Perhaps our actions, inspired by the dream, will make it true. If we do nothing it might turn out to be no more than that: a dream. But if we meddle we might be lightning a fire.”
Elrond growled. “Than what do we do? I cannot do nothing.”
Erestor stood and approached him. “Continue as we have. Work and watch things. If, and only if, there are signs Leloth starts doubting or giving up do we meddle.”
Elrond sighed, realising Erestor was right, as usual. “But I still worry.”
Erestor nodded. “We all do.”

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Leloth smiled when Elrohir approached him. “When did you and Elladan decide to swap patrols?”
Elrohir smiled apologetically. “Only this morn. I am feeling rather tired and I am turning in soon. I’m sorry. I know you were looking forward to spending the eve with my twin.”
Leloth smiled. “I always look forward to that.”

He placed an arm around Elrohir. “But how are you doing? You and Elladan are twins but I hardly see you. Do not hesitate to join our walks, Elrohir.”
Elrohir smiled. “I have adar and Erestor to keep me company and I see Elladan during the day.”

He smirked. “But could you perhaps help me?” He leaned in closer and whispered secretively. “Erestor is in love but he claims it is unrequited and I want to help. Perhaps he’s not seeing the other’s love. But he refuses to tell me a name.”
Leloth laughed warmly. “I can already tell you he certainly won’t tell me.” He shook his head and smiled. “But I shall keep my eye on him. Maybe I will see something.”

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Leloth yawned as he turned in late. He yelped when he heard a familiar voice on the wind. `Just one more year. Don’t waste it.` He smiled. “No, lord, I will not.”

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Time passed by swiftly and Elrond and Erestor relaxed, never seeing signs of disappointment or regret in Leloth and Elladan blossomed under his care. But still he feared speaking the words.

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Elladan smiled when he and Elrohir parted ways. “Well, have fun with Erestor.”
Elrohir grinned. “You know I will. He’s extremely pleasant company.” He ran away and Elladan smiled warmly. He knew his twin was in love, but he could understand his secrecy.

He opened the door to his rooms and widened his eyes when he saw the romantic atmosphere his lover had created. “What’s so special about today? It’s not our anniversary nor is it three years yet.”
Leloth nodded. “I know, that is tomorrow.” Once more Elladan saw the sadness descend on his lover and he wondered why. It seemed this sadness became a part of him more and more.

He swiftly approached. “What is the matter? Something’s making you sad. And the longer it lasts the stronger it gets. I beg you, tell me. And don’t tell me I won’t believe you. I am tired of that excuse.”
Leloth smiled at his tone and sat down. “I fear tomorrow, Elladan, that is all.” He knew he would have to go back to Mandos, but he couldn’t force Elladan to say the words. He knew he would hurt the twin more if he did.

He reached out and caressed his cheek. “Will you make love to me? Like there is no tomorrow? Show me how much you love me if you cannot say the words.”
Elladan’s eyes watered and he nodded, leaning in to kiss him. He had tried speaking the words several times, knowing the other deserved to hear them, but they had not come out. If Leloth wanted this he would do more than comply him on this. /I will fade without you./

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Elrohir raised his head, eyebrows arched high in wonder and he met Erestor’s smiling face.

The counsellor stood. “Sometimes I think Elrond should assign your twin other rooms. That, or replace the library.” He shook his head and gently tugged Elrohir along. “Let us go elsewhere. I have no desire to listen to them today.”
Elrohir grinned and happily followed.

He frowned again when he noticed they were heading for Erestor’s private rooms. “Why?”
Erestor looked at him questioningly before he shrugged. “Why not? I am open for suggestions.”

About to say something Elrohir quickly closed his mouth, realising he had never been there before and maybe, if he kept his eyes open, he might gain some insight information on Erestor’s private life. “Do you think Glorfindel will try again tomorrow?”
Erestor nodded. “Aye, he will continue to try until the day he dies or succeeds, whichever comes first.”
Elrohir laughed. “Aye, adar always senses him.” He looked at the advisor sternly. “Though you often steer him there.”
Erestor shrugged. “It is good entertainment so why let the blond win?”
Elrohir laughed and nodded.

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Elrond yawned and nodded to Lindir as he left the Hall of Fire. He had seen Glorfindel leave several moments ago and knew the other would be stalking his corridor again, but Elrond did not mind.

When he had reached his door he still hadn’t sensed Glorfindel and he frowned. /Now where is that elf?/ He strained his hearing but heard nothing, not in the corridor, not in his room and not from the adjourning corridors or rooms either. This made him worry and he almost flew towards the seneschal’s rooms.
He hoped there was nothing wrong with him.

His eyes widened when he found the blond on his bed in deep slumber. The sheet had slipped, granting Elornd a perfect view of the other’s naked torso. “By the Valar!”

The blue eyes instantly became alert and, after looking around questioningly, settled on Elrond in obvious wonder.

Glorfindel jumped to his feet. “Elrond? What are you doing here?”
Elrond shook himself out of his shock and blushed. “I was worried when you didn’t try to sneak up on me.” He shrugged. “I didn’t realise you were tired.”
Glorfindel laughed freely, his features and eyes warming at the care and concern. “I am sorry. I did not mean to worry you. But aye, I am, was tired and no, it does not mean I have given up. I will succeed!”
Elrond smiled and nodded. “Ecthelion was a lucky elf.” He instantly regretted his words for Glorfindel’s features darkened in sadness and pain.

Elrond hurriedly came closer and buried his friend in a hug. “Ai, forgive me. I should not have said that.”
Glorfindel smiled and rested his head on Elrond’s shoulder. “It’s all right. Though I will have another nightmare tonight. I always do if I think of the past before sleeping.”
Elrond nodded and settled them both on the bed. “I shall guard your sleep.”

They often watched each other’s sleep and soon the blond would be watching over him again as the day of Celebrian’s birthday was near.

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Leloth smiled and didn’t stop staring at Elladan. He wanted to remember him forever. /I shall wait for you, but please do not follow me. Live your life, Elladan. I shall miss you./ He would never forget the feel of Elladan’s arms around him at night and tonight they held him even tighter, as if the twin subconsciously sensed his pain.

Suddenly Mandos materialized before him. The Vala smiled a sad smile, but his eyes were filled with understanding. `You are brave and your love for him truer than I first believed. Come, it is time.` He touched the elf’s shoulder and instantly the body in Elladan’s arms was gone as Vala and fea were back at the halls of the death.

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Elladan’s loud scream woke all those still sleeping.

Glorfindel ran in with his sword drawn, having even forgone finishing dressing and looked quite shambled. Elrond was right behind him, sleep still in his eyes as well. When waking he had first thought it to be Glorfindel who had screamed but the blond’s actions led him to change that opinion.

Elladan screamed again and threw over everything. “Glorfindel. Leloth’s gone. Where is he? Where is he? He… he left…” He slumped to the ground, no longer having the energy to scream and trash. He felt his heart breaking. He didn’t notice anything anymore and just sat there, waiting for Mandos to come.
The first presence he noticed was not him though.

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Leloth tried to look through the mirror again, but was unable to do so. He could still see Imladris but doing so caused him too much pain. He did not want to see them, knowing he could no longer speak to them or touch them. And watching Elladan caused an even worse pain.

He was surprised when Mandos called him to him. He had no idea how much time had passed. Without the mirrors it was hard to tell.

Mandos smiled when he saw him enter. “It is time to be reborn. Your sacrifice has not been unnoticed and this is your reward. Fare thee well and do not return here.” Leloth smiled and felt himself pulled away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling a hand on his shoulder made the twin look up with tearstained eyes. The hope died when he saw a female instead of his lover.

“Elladan. Let go of your pain and guilt. It was not your fault they left.” Her voice was as clear as a purling river and Elladan felt himself looking at her with newborn hope. She smiled and sat close, pulling him to his chest. “Your mother was hurt beyond her strength and sailing was her only salvation. And your lover has done what he thought best. For you. They made their decisions and now you have to make yours. Will you smite their memory and love by wallowing in fear and self-pity or will you honour them by finding a way to heal?”

Elladan smiled at the kindness from her eyes and he wondered why he didn’t lash out at her. Not even his father or twin would have been able to speak those words and keep Elladan calm, but she obviously possessed that quality.
He knew she spoke reason, but he was afraid to forget them.

She smiled and placed a strand of hair back behind his ear. “They are part of you, Elladan, and will live forever in your heart and mind. I guess it is your burder to love so deeply, for it means you also get hurt that deeply when your loved ones leave. But trust me when I say love will return to you, if you just are patient.” Seeing Elladan about to speak the snaring remark she heard him think made her laugh echo through the room. “How careless of me. My name is Varda, though you probably know me best by the name your kin has given me.”

The twin stared at her in wonder, awe and respect. “Elbereth?”
She nodded, wiping a last lone tear from his face. “Nobody wants to see you suffer, Elladan, Dahân Machazân. Heal, maethor en hûn.” She kissed his forehead and faded away.

Elladan smiled, no longer feeling lost and lonely.

Translations:
Dahân Machazân – Valarin : high one (taken from the most likely meaning of the two words)
Maethor en hûn – Sindarin : warrior of the heart

Chapter five Arwen returns

Erestor sighed as he looked at Elrohir’s forlorn look. He locked his eyes with Elrond. “He’s not doing well. Elladan’s state is affecting him.”
He shook his head, still unable to come up with a logical reason for the sudden disappearance. “I never saw it coming. And he did not leave. There are no tracks. And yet he’s nowhere to be found.”
Elrond nodded. “The same mystery clings to his departure as did to his arrival.”

They gasped when they saw Elladan walk towards his twin. A real close inspection told them he was grieving, grieving but coping; slowing moving on.

They ran forward and Elrond immediately pulled him into a hug.
Elladan smiled sadly, his eyes no longer empty, but still far from happy, very far. “Varda came to me, adar. She promised me love was waiting for me, but I have to be patient. She also helped me realise I need to heal. I miss nana.”
Elrond pulled him closer. He didn’t mention he already knew about Elbereth, that Elladan had told him that almost each day the past weeks. He figured it was part of Elladan’s healing process. “We all do, Elladan, we all do. There’s no one like her. Take heart in the fact she’s alive in Valinor. If you wish to see her…”
Elladan shook his head. “I could never abandon you or Ro.”
He sobbed openly.

Glorfindel came running and was pleased to see his eyes hadn’t deceived him. Every time he came across this picture he doubted his eyes and he longed to provide some support for the twins, but he didn’t know how.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the years that followed Elladan slowly healed and learned to speak his love again. He hoped Varda was right, but more than anything he wanted to see Leloth again, to have his love back. He had accepted the fact the other had left because he had failed to speak his love. Even if the others had trouble believing that to be true, Elladan had held it for true; it had helped him enter the healing process and it still aided him in it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor shook his head as he once more saw Glorfindel stalk through the corridors, muttering and growling. /High entertainment!/

He smiled when he saw Elrond and swiftly approached. “I see our seneschal failed once again?”
Elrond nodded. “Aye. Any reason you are seeking me out?” His eyes didn’t leave his son’s body, feeling more than grateful for still having them both.
Erestor sighed. “Aye. These papers need mending. And I fear for tonight, Elrond. Tonight is the night he disappeared.”
Elrond nodded. “I know. I hope it won’t cause another set-back in Elladan. As it has these last twenty years.” He sighed and prepared himself for a sleepless night. He turned and looked at Erestor. “But still… We should be grateful he is coping and in time this night will lose its hold on him as well.”
Erestor nodded. “Aye.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another twenty years slowly passed by…

Elladan smiled warmly as his father silently entered the library to keep him company. He wordlessly stood and sat down next to his father, who embraced him, offering his comfort. “I cannot help missing him. This is the only place I feel comfortable tonight.”
Elrond nodded. “I understand. And I know he would too. I am glad you’ve stopped living in the past, ion.”
Elladan rested his head on his father’s shoulder. “Me too.”

They remained silent for a few hours but then Elrond’s eyes twinkled and he turned his head. “Not now, meldir. Elladan needs comfort, not his father and tutor hunting.”
Glorfindel’s pearly laughter echoed through the room and the seneschal entered. “It’s just that I am turning in and I don’t want you to worry.”
Elrond rolled his eyes. “One time I show my concern and I get to hear this every night.”
Elladan grinned, loving the banter.

He pressed closer to his father. “Join us, Glorfindel?”
The seneschal shrugged, looking at Elrond. At those nights he found it impossible to read Elladan. When Elrond nodded the blond wordlessly sat down. “Anything I can do?”
Hearing the hesitance made Elladan look at him and smile. “Would you play the flute?”
Glorfindel raised his eyebrows. “And upset Lindir?” He smiled. “All right. But I have to go get it. Is that all right with you?”
Elladan nodded and closed his eyes. When the blond was gone he spoke again, though he didn’t open his eyes; he wanted Elrond’s scent to get stronger. “Where’s Ro?”
Elrond shrugged. “I don’t know, pen-neth. Erestor is worried about him.”
Elladan’s eyes opened and darkened. “Me too. He’s growing more silent and introvert. I do not like it. And he hardly dates anymore.” He looked up. “I think he’s in love but was rejected.”
Elrond sighed, but forced himself to ignore the other twin and focus on Elladan. Tomorrow he would worry about both of them again, but tonight was reserved for his eldest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some weeks later a messenger brought delightful news and Erestor had the dubious honour of seeing Elrond jump up and wipe the papers from his desk in happiness as he ran out, his robes producing another paper avalanche. The counsellor ran after him; he would worry about the mess later.

Elrond ran straight to the practising area, where Glorfindel was showing the twins some new tracking techniques. They halted their activities when he came, fanning the paper in the air. “Arwen’s coming home. She’s coming home.”
Elladan and Elrohir dropped their bows and rushed forward, hugging their father in happiness. “When?”
The Peredhel smiled at his sons. “Tomorrow. The letter states the messenger was dispatched one day prior to her departure. Glorfindel?”
The blond nodded and ran away. He would meet her in honour.
Elrond smiled at his sons. “We have to prepare and I think I have to clear a mess in my study. Don’t ask.”
Seeing Erestor rolling his eyes they had a pretty good idea what might have happened and they laughed, hugging their father in joy.

Elladan pulled back but he still smiled warmly, love radiating from his eyes. “Do they say how she is?”
Elrond smiled. “She’s happy and whole again, Elladan. The stay helped them heal.” He pulled his son close again. And tomorrow he would have all his children close once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day brought sunshine and two fidgeting elves. Elrond smiled at the twins. “Do not do this to yourselves. I sense no dread or fear.” He smirked. “Except from you two.”

They looked over to the bridge when they heard the hooves on the wood and their eyes widened when they saw Arwen, looking even more radiant than before she had left.

She didn’t wait to reach the yard but dismounted already, running the last distance. “Adar!” She was so happy to see him again the tears flew freely from her eyes.
Elrond reacted and ran forward as well, opening his arms for her to fling herself at him. He hugged her close. “Welcome home, Arwen.”
She rested her head on his shoulder and cried from happiness.

After a while she pulled back and embraced her brothers who had come running as well and they happily returned the gesture.
She stepped back and smiled at them. “You look great.”
Elrond placed a hand on her shoulder. “You too, daughter mine. Come, let us go inside. You must be tired.”
She nodded, leaning in close. “I should probably rest. Knowing you there will be a grand feast tonight.”
Elrond’s eyes twinkled. “Of course. My daughter is home. I have all my children close again.”

Arwen kissed her father and now claimed an supportive embrace from the twins. “And how are you?” She stepped back to study them, pleased with what see saw. She ran up the stairs.
Elladan frowned. “What did they do to her? She had just stopped running the stairs.” He shook his head but smiled at it none the less.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the feast had long passed his peak Arwen turned in and on her way she passed her brothers’ open doors. She smiled at Elrohir’s peaceful sleep and tiptoed further, knowing he was a light sleeper.

Seeing Elladan toss, seemingly in the throes of a nightmare made her creep closer. She frowned when she saw a portrait standing on the table. “Who is that?”
Elladan now sat up right in the bed and smiled. “Leloth. My lover.”
Arwen’s eyes lit up in happiness and she bounced on the bed, ready to fire her stream of questions. But then the sadness in Elladan’s eyes as he spoke the words registered and she saddened as well, dreading hearing this. “What happened?”
Elladan’s wide eyes mirrored his surprise and he shook his head. “I can see they rubbed off on you. The Arwen that left would have sprouted a seemingly endless stream of questions before realising.”

He reached out and tugged her hair as he had done in the past. “I could not voice my love anymore and he left because of it.”
Arwen gasped and immediately tightly hugged him. “Oh, Elladan, I am so sorry.”
Elladan struggled to get looser, for the hug was extremely tight, but he remained in it even as he shrugged. “I’m not.” He laughed at his own words. “Well, yes, of course I am sorry I lost him, but I am not sorry it happened. It opened my eyes and forced me to really heal. And I will never regret loving him. I only regret never telling him.”
Arwen smiled, saddened. “I would have loved knowing him too.”
Elladan nodded. “Aye, you would have. You might even have stolen him away from me, so maybe it is best he left before you returned.”

Arwen looked at him in shock, but seeing his eyebrows go up and down repeatedly made her realise he was joking and she playfully hit him before yawning. “Adar outdid himself.”
Elladan nodded. “He had a lot to celebrate. Glorfindel almost successfully snuck up on him this morn.”
Arwen widened her eyes. “Nay. Are they still at it?”
Elladan nodded and motioned for Arwen to lay down and settle in his bed as he told her everything that had happened.
When Elrond checked on his children he found the two of them snuggled up, sound asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arwen frowned when she noticed Elrohir’s book lying idly in his lap. The twin never treated a book so carelessly. In her mind other images came back and she cocked her head, observing him. The things she saw in her brother didn’t please her at all. But she didn’t know what to do about them or how to label them correctly and she refused to go to her father and worry him should it be nothing. /Perhaps it is Elladan’s mental state that wears him down? /
Never the less, she promised herself to keep a close eye on her brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Years passed by as season changed: gradually and constant. During that time Arwen’s worry for Elrohir grew and she had abandoned most of her initial thoughts, especially him showing the mental state of the other twin for Elladan got stronger every year and Elrohir seemed to become paler and sadder each year.
The fear inside of her grew as well, although she couldn’t explain it.

She sat thinking in her favourite rocking chair, which she had dragged out to the patio. She did not feel the need to seek out Elrohir to keep an eye on him, knowing Elrohir was in the library with Erestor, the one place where he seemed to return to his normal self.

She yelped when someone suddenly hugged her from behind. A pearl laughter made her scowl fade away. She crossed her hands before her chest. “Do you enjoy giving your own sister a heart attack that much, Elladan?”
The twin smiled. “It was too tempting to resist. Ai, Arwen, I missed you so much.” He hugged her again and she happily returned it. “And we’ve only been parted some hours.” She smiled, knowing full well he was still referring to her extremely lengthened stay in their grandparents’ realm.

She had known she should have been here to support her family and allow them to support her, but she couldn’t. She had found comfort in her grandfather’s arms and words, more than any other could have given her and Galadriel had eased her guilt for remaining.

Elladan sensed her darkening mood and plunged down, pulling Arwen back on the chair. “They were right, you know? We all need to heal in our own way. Ro and I hunted orcs, adar leans on Glorfindel, the only one to understand how he feels and you found comfort with ata’da and in hearing about her, which I wouldn’t have been able to learn. And I think you were a great support to them, sister. They healed through your support.”
She looked at him with big eyes and he smiled. “Look at it this way. Grandmother told you about her daughter, right? And grandfather gave you strengthening words and thoughts. In doing so they not only helped you but themselves as well. You were their reason to remain strong and go on.”
Arwen’s eyes watered and she beamed, happily flinging herself at her brother.

When she calmed again she sighed, saddened. “I worry about our brother, Elladan. He seems so…”
Elladan nodded. “I noticed. I still think he’s been rejected but I can’t find out by whom. He simply refuses to talk about it.” The frustration seeped into his voice and Arwen smiled. “Shall I talk to him?”
Elladan nodded. “You might better.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrond frowned when he found Erestor staring at a piece of paper with tears in his eyes. He silently approached. He needed a book but he couldn’t disturb Erestor’s peace. Suddenly the counsellor’s eyes fluttered and Elrond smiled, knowing the other had now noticed him. “I am sorry, Erestor, but I need a book.”

Erestor smiled and silently handed over the paper and Elrond could now see there was a poem on it. He wordlessly accepted it and allowed his eyes to read, widening them as more words were consumed. He settled his eyes on Erestor and the counsellor smiled, sadly. “I found it today. There are more.”
Elrond sat down. “How could we have missed this? How could I not have seen?”
Erestor stood and placed his hand on Elrond’s shoulder. “For the same reason I didn’t, Elrond. It came too gradually and we were too focussed on Elladan. I shall keep my eye on him.”
Elrond shook his head. “We must warn Glorfindel. The patrols must keep a look out in case he sneaks off.” He patted the paper. “He writes of sea and gulls, Erestor, with longing. That can only mean one thing!”
Erestor lowered his eyes, afraid now that Elrond had confirmed his suspicion: Elrohir was planning to sail.

Chapter six Runaway

Erestor yawned and stretched as he walked to his study. He had never before gotten out of bed so early, but he wanted to start early so he was already done with his morning load when the others would arise. That way he could spend the morning with Elrohir, show the twin there was still so much beauty in the Valley.

He frowned when Arwen ran towards him. “Orben-neth, what are you doing up?”
Arwen smiled at seeing someone who could help and flung herself at Erestor, allowing her tears to fall. “Elrohir left. I followed him to the stables. He’s left for Lorien. I couldn’t stop him, Erestor.”
Erestor gasped, knowing what really happened and he knew time was too precious to waste right now. He grasped her shoulders tight. “Go to Glorfindel. Tell him to prepare a small host and follow my tracks. And tell your father Elrohir has left.”
Arwen in turn grasped him tight and shook her head. “Nay, Erestor, you cannot leave. The roads to Lóriën aren’t safe.”
Erestor smiled. “Elrohir left for the Grey Havens, Arwen. He’s planning to sail. But do not worry. We’ll bring him back.” He ran away.

After a second his common sense kicked in and he altered his course. He needed food and medical supplies. He would be able to catch Elrohir only if he was well prepared. And if he had a tracker like Glorfindel with him. He flew through the corridors and smiled as he heard Arwen’s cries. “Glorfindel! Glorfindel!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Erestor finally came to the stables he found ten horses already saddled and ready to go.

Elrond stood there with his other two children. All elves had worried looks on their faces. “Go, and bring my son back to us.”
Glorfindel nodded and mounted but halted when Erestor screamed. “I am coming along. If anyone can talk Elrohir into returning it is me. Now, where’s my horse. And here, you carry the medical supplies. And do we have enough food.”
Realising Erestor wouldn’t stop babbling in his worry and concern made Glorfindel hastily intervene. “Your horse is waiting for you. Come, mount. Trust in us, Elrond, Arwen, Elladan. We’ll find him and return with him.” He kicked Asfaloth in motion and the others followed.
Before long Erestor rode beside him and he smiled at the determined expression in the counsellors face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arwen flew up in her bed and her fearful eyes darted towards the window, staring out over the valley, or she would have done so had the outside world been visible. But now the dark storm clouds prevented the rays of the moon and stars to enter their haven. Hearing a thunder made her flare up completely, jumping out of bed, and she ran outside to her father’s room. Fear clawed at her heart.

Elrond smiled when the door opened and Arwen flung herself at him. He already had Elladan here, shaking himself to pieces, and he had expected Arwen to rush to him as well. He could understand their fears and pains for he shared them. But he refused to give into them. He placed his trust in his friends and he would not allow himself to fall to pieces before they returned.

He pulled both his children close. “Do not worry. I bless the storm for it will have slowed Elrohir’s progress. He will have taken shelter and that will allow Glorfindel and Erestor to catch up. You must have faith.”
Arwen sighed and snuggled closer, relaxing now that she felt her father’s comforting embrace. But she realised she yearned for her grandfather’s comforting words.

`Be strong, Arwen, and know that Erestor and Glorfindel will not give up. If anyone can find him it is Glorfindel and if anyone can bring him back it is Erestor. Find comfort and strength in that. And in your father’s arms.`
Arwen smiled and nodded. She shrugged when she noticed Elrond’s puzzled look. “Ata’da spoke to me.”
Elrond smiled and guided her head to his chest. /I was right. They know her better. Nay, that is not true. They know how to console her better. And for that, I am grateful./
He did briefly wonder how Celeborn and Galadriel had found out about their present peril and came up with two easy conclusions, all or not combined. They could have sensed their pain and despair and they could have seen it in the mirror. But Elrond didn’t mind how they had found out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor cursed as the wind blew his cloak in his face again, blocking his view.
The horses had trouble staying afoot, but tried to maintain their present speed none the less.
Glorfindel’s curses were provoked by another source. The rain washed away the twin’s tracks and they had just become fresher, indicating they had shortened the distance between them.

Suddenly Asfaloth jumped to avoid tripping and Erestor’s horse bucked. Unprepared for that movement, the counsellor slid off and landed in the still growing mud puddles.
Their escort immediately scanned their surroundings, searching for a clue or possible threat. Suddenly Erestor’s scream filled the air.

He ran, tripped, fell and crept closer as swift as his body and the weather conditions allowed him too. “An elf!” He had to scream at his full capacity for the others to hear it as a mere whisper. They were now in the middle of the storm and it hardened their attempts.
A soldier hastily jumped down and came closer. He knew a thing or two about healing. “Turn him on his side. Prevent him from drowning.”
Erestor nodded, already attempting to do so. With the other’s aid he soon succeeded. He heard the gasps around him when the facial features became visible while his own mouth merely dropped open. It was Elrohir.

Glorfindel growled; a growl that would have scared any foe. The twin was drenched and in his present condition that wasn’t advisable. And there was no shelter in sight. Of course his sight wasn’t that far right now, but still…

Suddenly a soldier screamed and pointed backwards. “Our eastern borders are close. It seems Elrohir circled. Cabins are nearby.”
Glorfindel nodded, signalling for him to lead the way. He helped Erestor to get Elrohir on a horse. He called out for the twin’s mare, whose whinny sounded painful. He split up the group. “Take Erestor and Elrohir to the cabin.”

He had kept three warriors with him and they battled the wind to come closer to the mare.
Glorfindel’s stomach turned when he found her and one of his companions cursed in Dwarvish.
The mare had gotten her feet entangled in old rope, used for traps.
He swiftly came closer and examined her. In normal conditions it wouldn’t have been bad but now he could detect a fever catching hold on her. “She’s contracting a fever and her legs might be broken. What do we do?”
One soldier already was working on freeing the animal and another grabbed his flask. “If this strengthened miruvor helps us, it can aid her too.” He made her drink it. “Do we have some sleeping herbs to give her. And we should make a way to pull her back. We can heal her.”
Glorfindel nodded, glad he now had a plan. “Aye, lets do that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erestor sighed in relieve when they had reached the cabin and he allowed the others to tend to his horse and themselves. His only concern was getting the twin inside and getting him warm.
The soldier that had helped him before now was beside him as well and once they approached the door it already opened.

Two of the border guard soldiers had sought refuge here and had heard them come. One of them hastily spurred on the fire and pointed to the bed while the other went outside to aid the others.

Erestor stripped Elrohir from his wet and cold clothes and placed him in the bed, immediately covering him with the heavy and warm blankets. The soldier already prepared a healing potion and Erestor felt comfortable enough to tend to himself. He didn’t know when he fell asleep but he definitely woke due to the others returning.

Glorfindel ran inside the now crowded cabin and shook himself like a dog, earning himself some displeased groans from the already dry soldiers. The blond ignored them and approached the bed and the now waking counsellor. “How is he?”
Erestor shrugged. “I fell asleep.” His words were both explanation for him not knowing as an apology and admission of guilt.
The soldiers smiled and one hauled Erestor up, bringing him to the bed. “I doubt the young master will mind. And he hasn’t woken yet. It doesn’t look good, Cap.”
Glorfindel sighed. “Right now there’s nothing we can do but wait. And tend to the horse. She tripped over some rope and fell. I don’t know if we can safe her, Erestor.”

Their conversation halted when they heard groans from the bed. The twin was reaching consciousness.

Elrohir looked around with an extremely blurry vision, wondering where he was and what had happened. He was shocked, feeling someone hold his hand and brush his forehead, but he was surprised at his lack of response.
“That was a stupid thing to do, Elrohir. Do you want to give your father and twin a heart attack? Not to mention Arwen and the rest of us.”
Elrohir closed his eyes, unsure whether he should be annoyed or grateful that Erestor was here. But maybe this wasn’t Erestor? “Ere…” He couldn’t finish for a coughing fit assaulted him.
Glorfindel sighed. “Well, that makes it final. He’s got a cold.” Those words earned him an angry glance from Erestor, which he answered with a beaming smile. He refused to worry now that they had found the twin and now that he was coherent enough.
Erestor sat down on the bed and smiled. “Aye, Elrohir. It is I. Here, drink this.”
Elrohir coughed again and only barely managed to do so thanks to Erestor.

He opened his eyes again and cursed his vision that hampered him, preventing him from seeing Erestor clearly.

Suddenly his memory returned and he yelped. “Lassagor?” He grabbed Erestor’s arm in panic.
The counsellor hurried to soothe him. “Glorfindel found her. Her feet were caught in some rope, but the wounds will heal.”
Glorfindel shook his head. “Her cold might not.”
Erestor turned and glared. “Then why is she outside? Bring her in!”
Glorfindel widened his eyes. “Erestor! It is crowded here already.”
The counsellor stood, crossed his arms and glared at him at full capacity and Glorfindel realised he had now really angered the counsellor. “Would you leave Asfaloth outside?”
The seneschal understood and so did all others and they felt ashamed.
Six warriors immediately ran outside and carried the wounded animal inside while Erestor coaxed the twin to sleep some more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While the storm slowly died the situation inside the cabin didn’t improve. They realised the horse would survive but the twin might not. “He’s not strong enough to fight this.”
Glorfindel looked outside. “It is almost dry. Asfaloth will carry us to his father swiftly.”
Erestor shook his head. “There is not enough time. He already is at the threshold, Glorfindel.”

A soldier nodded. “Aye, the signs of death are growing stronger. He needs to be lend strength to survive.”
Glorfindel blinked. “A bond? But…”
Erestor sighed. “If only we knew whom he desired. We could send for her then.” He shrugged. “But we do not. And since I am the only one not periodically leaving the realm it better be me.” He looked at the soldier. “Do you know what to do?”
The soldier nodded. “Aye, you need to cut both your hands and let the blood mix. The bond will be formed that way and fade slowly after Elrohir has recovered.”
Erestor nodded. “So be it.”

He walked to the bed and shook his head when someone presented a clean dagger. “I faint if I see my own blood. You do it?”
The soldier nodded and forced Erestor to look away.
The counsellor felt a short pain and was tempted to look but just then two others tumbled over each other, drawing his attention and he just knew they had done that on purpose, preventing him from looking and thus fainting.

Suddenly he felt a cold envelop his entire being and he looked at Elrohir and saw the soldier hold both his and Elrohir’s hand in his strong grasp.
The elf smiled at the counsellor. “Lay down, Lord, you will feel drained soon enough.”
Erestor could already feel the effects and hastened himself to do as he was told.
Glorfindel smirked. “I didn’t think I’d ever see the day.” He shook his head. “Erestor obeying without a reply. Strange.”

Together with the others he would look after the two elves and the horse. He looked out. “When can they be moved?”
The soldier smiled. “Soon enough, though I advice the counsellor riding with the twin. They cannot be parted for quite some time.”
Glorfindel nodded. “We shall wait until the weather is better but I already want someone to return and tell Elrond we’ve found his son and are only waiting for the weather to allow us a safe return. The longer we wait the more he’ll worry.”
One soldier nodded and stood. “I shall do that. I have a worried daughter waiting for me as well.”
Glorfindel nodded. “Noro lim a band.”
Ride swift but safe.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two days later Elrond was extremely pleased to see the party return and he rushed forward to press Elrohir to his chest. “Ai, ion, I feared for you. I am so pleased to have you back. Your cold will pass soon, I assure you.”
Elrohir smiled. “I am sorry. Erestor formed a saving bond with me or you would have lost me.”

He allowed Arwen and Elladan to hug him as well. “I have to stay close to him.”
Erestor frowned. “You say that as if it is a bad thing. As soon as you heal the bond will fade and you’ll have your freedom back, Elrohir.”
The twin flinched. He didn’t want to be reminded of having to let him go. He wanted to keep Erestor with him forever.

Elrond smiled. “Well, back inside. You two need to get warm and Erestor, I think you should prepare yourself for a Peredhel invasion.”
Erestor smiled. “I think my room can handle that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arwen smiled and plunged down on the bed. “I can’t remember the last time I was here.”
Erestor laughed. “Because you’ve never been here. I take it you and Elrohir want some privacy? I shall go take a bath.”

Elrohir sighed as he watched Erestor close the door. Now he had nothing to save him from his sister and something told him he needed some saving real soon. He looked at her and cocked his head.
Arwen smiled and played with his sleeve. “You really scared us, you know. And I can help. I mean, you must be fading over someone. Perhaps I can find out if she’s jealous of Erestor right now.” She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled warmly.
Elrohir shook his head. “All right. I shall tell you, but I do not want you to tell anyone or anything.”
Arwen pouted, but realised he was serious and she nodded. “At least then you can talk to me and sometimes that is what people need the most: someone to talk to. Ata’da always says that.”
Elrohir smiled and nodded. “Suppose he’s right.” He sighed. “Erestor.”
Arwen frowned and swiftly looked over to the bathroom to see if he was standing there, wondering why he brought him up now but then she made the connection and she couldn’t stop her eyes widening in shock. “That I didn’t expect.” She rubbed her nose. “Makes finding out if he returns it a lot harder though.”
Elrohir smiled, though it lacked intensity. “He doesn’t. He’s in love with someone who doesn’t love him. Like I am. He’s much stronger than me, isn’t he?”
Arwen shook her head. “Not per se. Look, he’s bound to you now. Temporal, but still. Use that time to win his heart.” She stood and hugged. “I am sure you can do it and I’ll help.”

Elrohir laid down and allowed Erestor’s scent to envelop him until the counsellor returned and went back to holding him.

Translations:
Orben-neth – Most beautiful one
Lassagor – swift leaf
Noro lim a band – Ride swift and safe

TBC07-12