Gone

Gone

Chapter 5
Author: Frosty the Obstetrician
Rated: NC-17
Codes: Aragorn, Faramir, Boromir, Legolas, OC, AU, N/C.
Summary: A series of events in Middle-earth leads to a darkened King, the departure of the elves, and a realization by those who remain.
Author's Notes: Elvish translations are in parentheses.

Author's Note: No reviews make me VERY, VERY SAD. :(

*

It was late, but she couldn't sleep. Pacing her room, she thought to the days ahead and what they would be like. By now Legolas was beyond the bordors of Gondor, and out of her reach. She was alone now, and it was frightening to think about.

There was a soft knock upon her door. She moved to open it without thinking about the possiblity of danger and was surprised at who was on the other side. "My Lord," she said, drawing her nightgown tight around her, "Can I do something for you?"

The light from Idril's candles made the expressio Ara Aragorn's face hard to read. "May I come in?"

She hesitated, but let him in. Closing the door with a soft click, she watched him in confusion, waiting for him to speak. When he did, his voice seemed strained. "Did I wake you?" he asked, glancing around the room. She shook her head and he nodded. "I thought you would be awake."

"Can I do something for you?" she asked again, slightly uncomfortable with his demeanor.

He looked at her then, his eyes trailing up her form. "I was thinking about you."

"Excuse me?" He stepped close to her then, and she could smell alcohol on his breath. Suddenly she wondered if opening that door had been a mistake.

His wide eyes roamed her features with a soft, unfocused gaze. He opened his mouth to speak, then suddenly seemed to remember himself, closing his mouth and looking into her eyes. "My apologies, my lady. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable." He took a step back.

Idril knit her brow. "Why did you come here?"

Blinking, he rubbed his tired eyes. "I..I am not sure. Forgive me." He sighed and looked up. "This was a mistake."

She did not stop him as he made his way to the door and left. When she was again alone, she sat down upon her bed and widened her eyes in thought. Aragorn had frightened her, and she was sure Legolas had never thought his friend would ever do that.

*

Eldarion, dressed in a brown tunic, took advantage of the sunny morning by playing in the courtyard on the upper level of the city. Idril watched him as she sat upon the bench under the stark tree that stood in the centre of the grass. He was a quiet child, and while he had taken to her and did not seem upset by her presence, he did not speak to her like he would someone he loved. He had shown her his toys, had taken her hand and led her to his room and out to the stables where he liked to visit the horses, but that was the extent of their relationship so far. He liked her well enough. She supposed that was better than nothing.

It had been several days since Aragorn had visited her in her rooms. Since then he had avoided her, simply nodding a greeting if they met but never speaking. Part of her preferred that, but now that he was acting like he was embarrassed by his display she wondered if she wasn't thinking too harshly of him. Legolas had insisted that Aragorn was a good man. Maybe he had simply been drunk.

The past few days had been lonely. She had cared for the child, and that was all. No one had visited her. Not that there were many people who would, but she had thought maybe the younger of the two Stewards would have seeked her out for conversation. He had seemed kind. But she had seen neither him nor his brother since their first meeting.

Until now. She heard the doors to the citadel open and cocked her head to look past the tree. Captain Faramir exited the building, and when he noticed her sitting there he turned his direction towards her. "Good morning," he greeted. She couldn't help but smile. No one had spoken to her in days.

"To you as well," she answered, sliding down the bench when he sat beside her.

He eyed the child sitting in the middle of the yard. "How is he doing?"

"As well as can be expected," she replied, followFaraFaramir's gaze. "He does not speak much."

"He grieves. We all do." Looking back at her, he asked, "Did you know Arwen?"

She shook her head. "No. I know her father well, though."

"Yes. You're here as a favour to him." When she nodded, he added, "How have your first few days been?"

She licked her lips and decided to be honest. Keeping to herself would gain her nothing. "Quiet. Lonely. I expected as much."

When she raised her eyes to his, she felt better seeing that he seemed genuinely displeased. "Forgive me. If I had known you felt that way, I would have come to see you earlier."

"No, do not take it that way. I did not think I would be readily accepted here, and I seem to have been proven right. It is of no matter, though. I am here to do a job."

"It does matter. From now on, I will take it upon myself to show you the city and keep you company." His blue eyes sparkled in humour and she couldn't help but blush slightly. "If you will have me, that is."

She grinned, finding it difficult to even think of saying no. "I will not deny your friendship. Truth be told, I would welcome it."

"I am glad to hear it." After a moment's pause, she looked up to see him eyeing her. "I apologize for staring," he said after she raised her eyebrows, "But I have never met an elf quite like you before."

She nodded, understanding. "I'm friendly." Idril smirked when he nodded. "It is because I am part human. My mother's influences were great."

"Was it difficult being raised with elves?"

Glancing at Eldarion to make sure he was still content, she then gave her attention to Faramir. "No, not at all. I knew nothing else. This is the first time I've been in a human city."

"It is a shame you had to visit under such melancholy circumstances." He sighed heavily and looked out on the courtyard. "Many here are falling to sadness and grief. I have tried terribly to keep it from affecting me, but too much has happened to ignore."

Idril knit her brows. "You have lost someone yourself?"

His eyes met hers in surprise. "How did you know?"

She shook her head. "I didn't. Not for sure. Your manner, though, told me that you have grieved in your life. You seem to be...seeking...something. Something you have lost."

He smiled and lowered his head. "You read a person well. That gift must come from your father."

"Then I am right." She resisted the urge to touch the hair that fell in front of his face as he looked down at his hands. "I am sorry if I brought up something that you did not want."

His eyes lifted to hers and he laughed. "No, no, don't worry. It was a long while ago. I have not spoken of it in some time."

"May I ask what happened?"

Faramir took a deep breath and moved his gaze to Eldarion, who played without concern. "Her name was Eowyn, and she was my wife. Several years ago she fell ill and died." Looking at Idril, he owedowed his eyes. "Since then, I have tried hard to keep my outlook on life from falling dim. It has been difficult, and made no easier by the events that have transpired recently."

"I'm sorry," whispered Idril, hoping she did not offend him with her questions. "I know how hard it can be to keep joy in one's life."

"Have you lost someone as well?" he asked, and she felt a jolt rise up inside her.

"No," she answered, swallowing her sorrow, "Not in the way you have. My friends and family, though, have most likely sailed to the Grey Havens by now. I have no one left. So in a way, I suppose I have lost everyone." Tears threatened to line her eyes, but she bit her lip and fought them off. "I will join them when I am through here."

"Is that what you want?" Faramir's voice was breathless and sad.

She ventured a glance at him and found him watching her closely. "Yes. Why would I stay if there is no one to stay for?"

Faramir blinked and shook his head. "I had hoped a lovely elf such as yourself would not be so sad." A smile crossed his face, but quickly faded. "It seems no one is without sorrow these days. I can understand your want to be with your friends."

Idril sighed, regreting her words. "I did not mean to sound so desolate. Forgive me, I am only feeling sorry for myself."

"You have a right to." His voice did not carry a tone of happiness, though, and that distressed her. "I will have you know, my lady, that I will do my best to make your days here the best they can be. You have my word on that."

She smiled and shook her head. "Why are you doing this for me?"

"Because you interest me. Because I told Legolas I would." He winked, then added, "And because I hate to see such a lovely elf look so alone."

A well of anxiety entered her heart. Meeting his eyes and holding his gaze, Idril felt something that she had not in a very long while. She felt the excitement of meeting someone new. More than that, though, she felt attraction.

Clearing her throat, suddenly very self-conscious, she lowered her head to keep her blush from him. "Did I embarrass you?" he asked, maneuvering his own head down to find her eyes.

When she felt composed, she waved her hand at him and smiled. "It has been a while since I have been complimented."

"I have a difficult time believing that."

"Elves are very different from humans, as you must already know. They are not quite so vocal with their thoughts." She smiled to herself, thinking on her past. "They say more witeir eir eyes than with their tongues."

"Do you have a husband?"

Looking up, she widened her eyes slightly. "No. I am unmarried."

Faramir continued, asking, "A lover?"

She looked away, slightly uncomfortable. "Elves, in most cases, court and take a husband or wife. Our rituals are different than those of man."

"So you have not been courted?"

Clasping her hands in her lap, she sighed. "No. Any suitors I had I was not interested in. I don't believe I ever thought I would make a good wife for an elf." She looked up and arched an eyebrow. "Too human."

He smiled. "But what of your mother?"

"My mother was a calm soul. She was raised in a small colony near Imladris, so she knew elves well. I am quite different from her."

Faramir laughed softly. "I know what it is like, to be so different from your parents." Eyeing her, he added, "You're very intriguing, Lady Idril. Thank you for being so open with me."

"Why did you ask me those questions?"

This time a slight blush rose to his own cheeks. "For my own interests, I will admit." He paused. "Does that bother you?"

Her eyes moved over his face as she considered, then made a choice. "No, I don't think it does."

"I'm glad to hear that." After a pause, Faramir sighed and looked out at Eldarion. "Would you join me for dinner tonight?"

She smiled when he looked back at her. "I would like that."

"Do you know where my rooms are?"

She shook her head. "I could ask Elessar to show me when I return Eldarion."

"No," he answered somewhat abruptly, "It may be best not to mention this to him. I will retrieve you from your place near dusk."

"Alright." Curious about his reaction to Aragorn, she ventured a question. "Why should I not tell the King?"

Exhaling heavily, Faramir gave her a look that made her think he did not really want to answer that. "It's nothing. He is just dealing with too many things right now, I would hate to add the burden of him wondering what we're doing together."

That bothered her. "What we're doing together?" she asked, her eyebrows raised, "It is only dinner."

Licking his lips, Faramir relented. "I'm sorry. I did not mean insinuate anything. I only meant that Aragorn has asked that...how can I put this...he has asked that Boromir and I do not interact with you."

Idril blinked slowly, stunned. "What? What do you mean?"

"I imagine he only said that because he was worried about what the city might think. You are already wondered about because of your caring for Eldarion. I don't think Aragorn wants anyone to think you are trying to replace Arwen."

She couldn't understand that thinking. "That makes no sense," she said, growing aggravated, "I am not here to replace his wife. And what good would it do to have me cut off from all others?"

Idril could see, looking into Faramir's eyes, that he did not have an explanation for her. "I don't know. I am having difficulty understanding his thinking, but he is grieving and may not be fully aware of what he is doing. And that is why I am not adhering to his request."

"What you're saying has more implications than just my social acceptance, Faramir. If he is incapable of thinking something like this through, is he really well enough to be leading a country?"

The expression that flickered on his face told her that he had thought of that already. "Boromir and I are watching," he replied quietly.

"I don't know what to say," she said sadly, "This does not make me feel any better."

Faramir grinned and shook his head when she eyed him strangely. "I only laugh at myself. As sorrowed as I am and as sad as my news is, I feel oddly relieved at having spoken about it. I don't discuss things openly when anyone other than my brother, really. I have given you a burden, but I thank you for sharing it with me."

Biting her lip, she held back a smile. "Only a human would find humour in such a conversation," she said, a glint in her eye.

"And what would an elf find?" he asked, leaning towards her.

"Song fodder." She winked and smiled, careful not to show her feelings too openly. While Faramir was definitely interesting, he was still someone new to her. Her father had always taught her to reveal one's person in layers.

Faramir, though, brought out in her the want to be known.

"Well, we humans find songs in the bottoms of our barrels. I will have to show you sometime."

Idril laughed at his grin. "I'll have you know an elf can hold her liquor quite well."

"Yes," he said softly, moving his hand up to touch her dark hair, "But you are only half elf. A lovely half-elf." A furious blush rose to her cheeks. Flustered, she looked away and he dropped his hand. "You look radiant when you glow like that. I shall have to compliment you more often."

She eyed him with a soft smirk. "That might be nice." Taking a deep breath, she moved her gaze to Eldarion and changed the topic of conversation. "I should take him back to his father."

"So early?" he asked, looking at the sun. "It is only past noon."

Idril nodded. "Normally I would keep him all day, but Elessar has allowed me the afternoon to take for myself. He said I should roam the city and see it for myself." She smiled when Faramir offered her a concerned frown. "There is no need to worry. He is sending a guard with me."

"Hmmm," he replied, his expression softening, "I suppose that would do." Standing, he looked down on her and smiled. "I will be by your place tonight. I suggest you wear your finest, for it will be a night worth remembering."

She couldn't help but laugh at his mock-seductive tone. "Is that a promise, Captain?"

"Indeed it is." Bowing politely and offering a wink, he took his leave.

*

TBC