Of Sands and Time

First of all SORRY! I know I have been a bad girl. I was far too lazy for my own good and my muses abandoned me since I was not responding to them. Instead I worked on a few other stories of mine and spend far too much time enjoying myself with my friends. But know that the Christmas time is over and January is bleak, as usual, I sat down and started to work again.

I sincerely hope that you are all still interested in my story and that I haven't scared you off. If I did, please give me a yell and kick my arse, I promise I will keep still. (as long as you promise not to abandon me totally. I couldn't satnd it! *sniffle*)

Now back to the story.....


Chapter 5

Amanhír looked away from his brother who still played with the young boars, when he heard a small rustling sound coming from his left. His father Haldir moved quietly closer, his brow furrowed with worry and a sad glint in his eye. Before Amanhír could ask him what was wrong, Haldir stopped him with a gesture of his hand and shook his head slightly.

“Please, Amanhír not now. Could you and Thaurdae return home? I will stay here with your father. We’ll talk later. At home.” Shoulders slumped, Haldir moved to his and Legolas’ bedroll, picked it up and gathered a few other things before vanishing in the darkness again.

Amanhír and Thaurdae looked at each other with worry and confusion in their eyes. After a few minutes of silence, Amanhír rose from the ground and wordlessly started to pack their things. Just as he was saddling their horses he saw his brother carefully lifting up one little boar after an other and securing them gently inside the saddlebags. Faint squeals and grunts indicated that the boars were quite pleased with the handling.

“You are not really planning on taking them home, are you?” Amanhír shook his head at his brother.

“Amanhír! As I said before, we cannot leave them here! They would die. So, would please not make such a fuss about it. There are far worse things. Like what is wrong with Ada. What is happening to him?” Thaurdae’s voice rapidly changed from determent to shakily.

“I don’t know. I really don’t. It seems to me that he is not very happy here and somehow grows more and more angry. But Haldir said we’re are going to talk about it at home. So, let’s get our belongings together and then we will head for home. I am sure they will be coming tomorrow, too.” Amanhír shot his brother and encouraging look and continued saddling the horses.

Only a short while later the twins had mounted their steeds and slowly made their sad way back home, both quite and with bowed heads.


Haldir had hurried back to the spot where he had left his husband and hoped that he hadn’t gone off wandering again. Legolas was still sitting on the ground on the same spot as he had before, his legs drawn up to his chest, his arms around his knees and his head bowed, resting on his lower arms.

Haldir let out a sigh of relief and quickly moved over to the hunched figure. He rolled out the bedroll and unfolded the heavy blankets, knowing full well that Legolas always needed to snuggle up under some cover when feeling down. Then he moved behind his husband and enveloped him in his arms, rocking him gently, humming to him.

It took some time until the blond elf reacted to it and he lifted his head showing his deathly pale and tear streaked face.

“Haldir?” the prince whispered into the night.

“I am here love.” Haldir held his husband tighter and buried his nose in the soft golden hair.

“What is happening to me?” Legolas’ voice was broken.

“I don’t know. I don’t know my love. But we will find out, we will get through this together. It will all get better. I promise. We will speak to Galadriel and Elrond. Maybe they know what to do. But it will work out. Believe me.” With every word Haldir spoke his voice became more and more shaky, nearly broken to the end. The march warden was overwhelmed by his feeling of fear and dread.

Legolas shivered in his love’s arms and leaned his head back against the strong shoulder of his husband. He could sense Haldir’s distress as much as his own and it scared him. It felt like his whole world was crumpling to pieces, everything he had lived for and hoped for was slipping through his fingers. He tried to remember all his wishes and ideas he had when they had at last arrived in Valinor. All the plans they had made, things they wanted to do and places they wanted to visit. Had they all gone to dust, would they ever come true?

The silver haired elf held his mate close, waiting for the trembling and tension to ease. As soon they would be home he would take Legolas to Galadriel and Elrond. Maybe they had an idea or even a cure. What worried him most was the things that Legolas had said earlier.

Haldir had heard of soldiers of mankind, who had suffered bad traumas after war and never really got over them. From time to time they would laps into a world of their own, reliving events during the war over and over again. But surely this wouldn’t happen to an elf? Legolas had already been experienced in war. But what had been different? Had it been the fact that Legolas had presumed Haldir dead? Or because he had been pregnant and still had gone into battle?

Only when Haldir roused himself form his thoughts, did he notice, that Legolas had drifted off into an uneasy sleep. Maybe it was for the best. So the older elf lowered his husband gently onto the bedroll and joined him there, holding him tight, not wanting to let go in case Legolas would wake and try to get up again.


The early morning mist was still hovering above the high grass and trees around them when Haldir awoke the next morning. Legolas was still curled up tightly against his chest and small puffs of air escaped his slightly parted lips. Sighing with relief Haldir kissed his husband’s forehead and closed his eyes for a second. They would return home today and face their sons. Haldir recoiled inwardly coming to think of it and wondered how he was going to resolve this tense situation.

Legolas stirred groggily and a smile crept across his face finding himself lying against Haldir’s smooth chest. He nuzzled it lovingly and planted soft kisses on it slowly moving upwards. Suddenly Haldir stopped him and shook his head smiling gently at his mate.

“We have to get up and return home. Amanhír and Thaurdae will be waiting for us. I don’t want them to worry too much about us.” The march warden said.

Legolas frowned and sat up with a look of pure fear on his face. “I can hardly remember what happened last night, I only know that I hurt Thaurdae and Amanhír badly with my words. I have never done that. They would never give me a reason for harsh words. How can I ever look into their eyes again?”

Haldir immediately took Legolas in his arms again and caressed his back soothingly and hushed him. “Love, they love you. What do you fear. We all make mistakes form time to time. You feared for their lives. They will understand. Come, let us ride home and face the ‘lions’.” He tried to jest, hoping to lighten the mood of his husband.


Amanhír gently opened the door to his brother’s room as not to wake him should he be still asleep, but found the room empty. Cocking his eyebrow, Amanhír closed the door again and quickly made his way downstairs, turning to the stables. A grin plastered on his face the warrior stepped pass the boxes for their horses and stopped at the last one on the left hand side.

Sure enough it was where he found Thaurdae. Curled up on a blanket, lying on the straw that covered the ground, fast asleep and ever so lightly snoring. Snuggling up tightly against Thaurdae’s body were five small forms.

Amanhír swallowed hard. His brother was such a kind and caring soul. Fair and innocent, so unlike himself. Often had he wondered how it was possible that they truly were twins. It seemed to Amanhír that he himself had inherited all the attributes of a warrior and leader, while Thaurdae was a true artist and poet. Then again each of them had inherited certain traits of their fathers. For both, Legolas and Haldir, bore qualities of a warrior and artist.

Carefully Amanhír stepped into the box and nudged his brother awake. “Thaurdae. Wake up. I think they will be home soon. Maybe we should prepare something to eat and I believe you will have something for your ‘children’ as well.”

Thaurdae blinked tiredly at the figure crouching before him and immediately felt his chest tighten. Their fathers would be coming home soon and he would have to face Legolas. His father had been so angry and different the night before. “Can I not just stay here and wait for a while longer?” he asked shakily.

“Thaurdae, no. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine, you’ll see. Now come on, up with you and let us head into the kitchen. Remember like they say. If you go to the spider, don’t forget the fly. We will calm Ada with some food and wine.” Amanhír stretched a hand towards his brother and pulled him up.


t.b.c