Random Conversations [COMPLETE]
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-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
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7
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Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,079
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Mayhem
A/N: This is what happens when a would-be fanfic author goes slightly mental while trying to work on a challenge from a friend. Special thanks goes to Shana as this never would have come about had it not been for a late-night, sleep-deprived IM chat. Feedback appreciated.
The Disclaimer: None of the LotR characters belong to me. They belong to The Professor. Shana and Valkyrie belong to themselvALSOALSO, any references made to other works of fan fiction are NOT meant to be malicious. I only make references to these stories and do not mention titles or specific authors that I do not know. These are simply stories that stick out in my mind and any references are made in all good fun and humor.
The Cast (this chapter): Aragorn, Bilbo, Celeborn, Elledan, Elrohir, Elrond, Eomer, Erestor, Faramir, Figwit, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf, Glorfindel, Haldir, Legolas, Merry, Orophin, Pippin, Rumil, Sam, Rainien, Shana, Valkyrie, one mystery elf, one mystery man
Mayhem.
Stranger 2: Of course they let me out! Did you think they would keep ME there until the end of Arda?
Elrond: *fidgets*
Glorfindel: But I thought…
Stranger 2: You thought you were the only elf to be released from Mandos’ Halls? You were…until now, anyway.
Glorfindel: Why now?
Stranger 2: *winking at Rainien* I had a little help. *moves closer to Elrond*
Elrond: *looks around as if searching for a place to hide*
Glorfindel: *glares at Rainien*
Rainien: It was her idea. *smiles and points at Valkyrie*
Valkyrie: *sighs* Dark-haired elves are so pretty.
Stranger 2: *gives Valkyrie a sly grin* We’ll talk more later, you and I.
Aragorn: *searches his memory*
Valkyrie: *blushes*
Eomer: Valkyrie, who is he?
Valkyrie: *BIG grin on her face* He’s Gil-galad.
Eomer: *whispers* I thought he was dead.
Valkyrie: *whispers back to him* He was.
Faramir: *looking confused* But the other isn’t an elf. He looks familiar, but I’m not sure why.
Shana: That’s because you’ve seen him before, but not in person. He’s…
Aragorn: *standing, fists clenched* Isildur! *turns to Valkyrie* Was this your idea as well?
Isildur: *looks at Aragorn, confused*
Valkyrie: *shaking her head* Oh, no. No. No. No. Definitely NOT my idea.
Rainien: It was my idea, Aragorn.
Isildur: *smiles at Rainien*
Aragorn: *looking quite furious* Why??
Rainien: For the same reason I decided to indulge Valkyrie with Gil-galad.
Aragorn: *gritting his teeth* And that is??
Rainien: I was in the mood for a very specific form of naughtiness.
Isildur: *grinning at Rainien* Oh really? What did you have in mind?
Rainien: Mayhem. Pure mayhem.
Erestor: Oh, no.
Eomer: I don’t understand.
Rainien: You’llll see. *pauses* Elrond, aren’t you going to say hello to Gil-galad? *smiles sweetly*
Elrond: *mumbles* Fucking bitch.
Galadriel: *laughing* Oh, well done! I don’t think I’ve been looking forward to being entertained this much in at LEAST an Age!
Rainien: *gives Elrond a sadistic smile*
Elrond: *sighs and stands* Hello, Gil-galad.
Gil-galad: Come now! Is that how you greet an old friend?
Celeborn: *snickers* Is that what you called it?
Gil-galad: What would YOU call it?
Gandalf: We were always led to believe it was more than friendship.
Gil-galad: Well, Elrond was certainly very important to me. *smiles at Elrond*
Elrond: *gulps*
Gil-galad: What would YOU call it, Elrond?
Elrond: Very good friends, yes.
Elledan: That’s not what WE heard.
Gil-galad: And what did you hear?
Elrohir: That you were lovers, of course.
Gil-galad: Where did you hear something like that?
Haldir: Elrond.
Elrond: Oh, no.
Gil-galad: Elrond?
Elrond: Yes?
Gil-galad: Did you tell them that?
Elrond: Well…
Gil-galad: Did you?
Elrond: Not exactly.
Glorfindel: Of course you did!
Elrond: No, actually, I didn’t.
Glorfindel: Yes you did.
Elrond: No.
Gil-galad: Then what DID you tell them?
Elrond: Nothing.
Gil-galad: Then where would they get the idea that we were lovers?
Elrond: Well, you see…
Shana: This should be good.
Elrond: There were these rumors that we were lovers. Others had seen the…tension…between the two of us, the attraction. And after your death… Do we really have to discuss this right now?
Gil-galad: Oh, I think we do.
Elrond: You died, then Isildur failed to destroy the ring…
Gil-galad: You mean you failed to MAKE him destroy it.
Isildur: I told you that was not my fault!
Gil-galad: We’ll get to you in a moment, Isildur. Please finish, Elrond.
Elrond: You died. The Ring wasn’t destroyed. Everything was a mess. Imladris needed to be founded and…oh, Valar this is horrible. *takes a deep breath* Letting everyone believe that we HAD been lovers seemed to only make me look BETTER in everyone’s eyes. *pauses*
Gil-galad: I’m listening.
Elrond: So when people began to imply that we had been lovers *sits and lowers his head* I didn’t set them straight. *sighs* I did not necessarily lie. But I did not tell the truth either.
Gil-galad: *sits next to Elrond*
Elrond: I am sorry.
Gil-galad: Would it have happened, had I not died?
Elrond: *looking up quickly* Excuse me?
Gil-galad: Would we have become lovers had I not died when I did?
Elrond: *smiles* Yes, I believe we would have become lovers eventually.
Gil-galad: Then we will discuss this later, in private.
Elrond: But, I…
Gil-galad: Elrond.
Elrond: Yes?
Gil-galad: Are you going to introduce me to your friend?
Elrond: Friend? Oh! *looks at Figwit* This is Figwit. Isn’t he lovely? *strokes Figwit’s hair*
Gil-galad: Yes, he is lovely. *smiling at Figwit* Hello, Figwit.
Figwit: Hello, my Lord.
Valkyrie: *sighs*
Gil-galad: *looks at Valkyrie* But he is not the only one who is lovely.
Valkyrie: *blushes furiously*
Gil-galad: *grins*
Rainien: *whispers to Legolas* Want to see something funny?
Legolas: Yes, please. *grins*
Rainien: Isildur, I don’t believe you’ve met Aragorn, your heir.
Isildur: *turning to face Aragorn* Really? How wonderful! *pauses* Is that my sword?
Aragorn: YOUR sword?
Isildur: Yes, MY sword.
Aragorn: If I remember correctly, it was your father’s sword and YOU broke it.
Isildur: I didn’t break it. Sauron broke it. Just before I cut the Ring from his hand, I might add.
Elrond: *standing* You mean the Ring you kept after I TOLD YOU to cast it into the Fire?
Isildur: And I have already said that it wasn’t my FAULT!
Aragorn: That is your excuse?? *storms over to stand directly in front of Isildur*
Isildur: *looks warily at Aragorn* Why are you so upset? The Ring was eventually destroyed.
Aragorn: *sinks a very solid right fist into Isildur’s jaw, sending him to the ground* Why am I upset?? You very nearly DESTROYED your kingdom! Thousands of years my ancestors have wandered Middle Earth, hiding their identity, living in the Wild and WAITING for the day when the Ring would be found just so that YOUR MISTAKE could be FIXED! Your throne passed to the hands of the Stewards! Gondor lost hope and you ask why I am UPSET??
TBC
A/N: I know I said we had just one more chapter left, but I decided there was too much left of the story to get it all wrapped up in one chapter. Hope you enjoyed this one. No one managed to guess who my mystery guests were, so I guess I'll have to keep those bonus points to myself. Special thanks to Valkyrie for suggesting Gil-galad's addition to this little tale. The next chapter *will* be the last, and it'll hopefully be finished within the next few days. Until next time! ~ Rainien
The Disclaimer: None of the LotR characters belong to me. They belong to The Professor. Shana and Valkyrie belong to themselvALSOALSO, any references made to other works of fan fiction are NOT meant to be malicious. I only make references to these stories and do not mention titles or specific authors that I do not know. These are simply stories that stick out in my mind and any references are made in all good fun and humor.
The Cast (this chapter): Aragorn, Bilbo, Celeborn, Elledan, Elrohir, Elrond, Eomer, Erestor, Faramir, Figwit, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf, Glorfindel, Haldir, Legolas, Merry, Orophin, Pippin, Rumil, Sam, Rainien, Shana, Valkyrie, one mystery elf, one mystery man
Mayhem.
Stranger 2: Of course they let me out! Did you think they would keep ME there until the end of Arda?
Elrond: *fidgets*
Glorfindel: But I thought…
Stranger 2: You thought you were the only elf to be released from Mandos’ Halls? You were…until now, anyway.
Glorfindel: Why now?
Stranger 2: *winking at Rainien* I had a little help. *moves closer to Elrond*
Elrond: *looks around as if searching for a place to hide*
Glorfindel: *glares at Rainien*
Rainien: It was her idea. *smiles and points at Valkyrie*
Valkyrie: *sighs* Dark-haired elves are so pretty.
Stranger 2: *gives Valkyrie a sly grin* We’ll talk more later, you and I.
Aragorn: *searches his memory*
Valkyrie: *blushes*
Eomer: Valkyrie, who is he?
Valkyrie: *BIG grin on her face* He’s Gil-galad.
Eomer: *whispers* I thought he was dead.
Valkyrie: *whispers back to him* He was.
Faramir: *looking confused* But the other isn’t an elf. He looks familiar, but I’m not sure why.
Shana: That’s because you’ve seen him before, but not in person. He’s…
Aragorn: *standing, fists clenched* Isildur! *turns to Valkyrie* Was this your idea as well?
Isildur: *looks at Aragorn, confused*
Valkyrie: *shaking her head* Oh, no. No. No. No. Definitely NOT my idea.
Rainien: It was my idea, Aragorn.
Isildur: *smiles at Rainien*
Aragorn: *looking quite furious* Why??
Rainien: For the same reason I decided to indulge Valkyrie with Gil-galad.
Aragorn: *gritting his teeth* And that is??
Rainien: I was in the mood for a very specific form of naughtiness.
Isildur: *grinning at Rainien* Oh really? What did you have in mind?
Rainien: Mayhem. Pure mayhem.
Erestor: Oh, no.
Eomer: I don’t understand.
Rainien: You’llll see. *pauses* Elrond, aren’t you going to say hello to Gil-galad? *smiles sweetly*
Elrond: *mumbles* Fucking bitch.
Galadriel: *laughing* Oh, well done! I don’t think I’ve been looking forward to being entertained this much in at LEAST an Age!
Rainien: *gives Elrond a sadistic smile*
Elrond: *sighs and stands* Hello, Gil-galad.
Gil-galad: Come now! Is that how you greet an old friend?
Celeborn: *snickers* Is that what you called it?
Gil-galad: What would YOU call it?
Gandalf: We were always led to believe it was more than friendship.
Gil-galad: Well, Elrond was certainly very important to me. *smiles at Elrond*
Elrond: *gulps*
Gil-galad: What would YOU call it, Elrond?
Elrond: Very good friends, yes.
Elledan: That’s not what WE heard.
Gil-galad: And what did you hear?
Elrohir: That you were lovers, of course.
Gil-galad: Where did you hear something like that?
Haldir: Elrond.
Elrond: Oh, no.
Gil-galad: Elrond?
Elrond: Yes?
Gil-galad: Did you tell them that?
Elrond: Well…
Gil-galad: Did you?
Elrond: Not exactly.
Glorfindel: Of course you did!
Elrond: No, actually, I didn’t.
Glorfindel: Yes you did.
Elrond: No.
Gil-galad: Then what DID you tell them?
Elrond: Nothing.
Gil-galad: Then where would they get the idea that we were lovers?
Elrond: Well, you see…
Shana: This should be good.
Elrond: There were these rumors that we were lovers. Others had seen the…tension…between the two of us, the attraction. And after your death… Do we really have to discuss this right now?
Gil-galad: Oh, I think we do.
Elrond: You died, then Isildur failed to destroy the ring…
Gil-galad: You mean you failed to MAKE him destroy it.
Isildur: I told you that was not my fault!
Gil-galad: We’ll get to you in a moment, Isildur. Please finish, Elrond.
Elrond: You died. The Ring wasn’t destroyed. Everything was a mess. Imladris needed to be founded and…oh, Valar this is horrible. *takes a deep breath* Letting everyone believe that we HAD been lovers seemed to only make me look BETTER in everyone’s eyes. *pauses*
Gil-galad: I’m listening.
Elrond: So when people began to imply that we had been lovers *sits and lowers his head* I didn’t set them straight. *sighs* I did not necessarily lie. But I did not tell the truth either.
Gil-galad: *sits next to Elrond*
Elrond: I am sorry.
Gil-galad: Would it have happened, had I not died?
Elrond: *looking up quickly* Excuse me?
Gil-galad: Would we have become lovers had I not died when I did?
Elrond: *smiles* Yes, I believe we would have become lovers eventually.
Gil-galad: Then we will discuss this later, in private.
Elrond: But, I…
Gil-galad: Elrond.
Elrond: Yes?
Gil-galad: Are you going to introduce me to your friend?
Elrond: Friend? Oh! *looks at Figwit* This is Figwit. Isn’t he lovely? *strokes Figwit’s hair*
Gil-galad: Yes, he is lovely. *smiling at Figwit* Hello, Figwit.
Figwit: Hello, my Lord.
Valkyrie: *sighs*
Gil-galad: *looks at Valkyrie* But he is not the only one who is lovely.
Valkyrie: *blushes furiously*
Gil-galad: *grins*
Rainien: *whispers to Legolas* Want to see something funny?
Legolas: Yes, please. *grins*
Rainien: Isildur, I don’t believe you’ve met Aragorn, your heir.
Isildur: *turning to face Aragorn* Really? How wonderful! *pauses* Is that my sword?
Aragorn: YOUR sword?
Isildur: Yes, MY sword.
Aragorn: If I remember correctly, it was your father’s sword and YOU broke it.
Isildur: I didn’t break it. Sauron broke it. Just before I cut the Ring from his hand, I might add.
Elrond: *standing* You mean the Ring you kept after I TOLD YOU to cast it into the Fire?
Isildur: And I have already said that it wasn’t my FAULT!
Aragorn: That is your excuse?? *storms over to stand directly in front of Isildur*
Isildur: *looks warily at Aragorn* Why are you so upset? The Ring was eventually destroyed.
Aragorn: *sinks a very solid right fist into Isildur’s jaw, sending him to the ground* Why am I upset?? You very nearly DESTROYED your kingdom! Thousands of years my ancestors have wandered Middle Earth, hiding their identity, living in the Wild and WAITING for the day when the Ring would be found just so that YOUR MISTAKE could be FIXED! Your throne passed to the hands of the Stewards! Gondor lost hope and you ask why I am UPSET??
TBC
A/N: I know I said we had just one more chapter left, but I decided there was too much left of the story to get it all wrapped up in one chapter. Hope you enjoyed this one. No one managed to guess who my mystery guests were, so I guess I'll have to keep those bonus points to myself. Special thanks to Valkyrie for suggesting Gil-galad's addition to this little tale. The next chapter *will* be the last, and it'll hopefully be finished within the next few days. Until next time! ~ Rainien