New Dawn Rising

A/N As I looked back at previous chapters, I realized that I made two mistakes in my explanations. I wrote that Tempest was king of the Maeras, which is not true. Shadowfax is. Pardon my mistake; however, I am still claiming he was the prior steed to the Witch King of Angmar. If that horse had an actual name, I couldn’t find it otherwise I would have used it.
Also, thanks to a reviewer of mine, I have been informed by a horse is either a gelding or stallion, not both. Thank you for the advice from me, person who knows absolutely nothing about horses.
In the case of my story, Tempest is a stallion and not a gelding; neither is his son, Wild Rage.
A/N This chapter is told from Raven’s point-of-view

Ch. 4 Stalemate of Sun and Storm
Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
“…And I don’t want the world to see me,
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand;
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.”

The night. The darkness. A world to which I was too familiar and too uneasy within. Since my birth over a millennia ago, I have always awoken to a black sky, never knowing if it be dawn or dusk. But to be rid of the darkness that has haunted me for centuries is even more terrifying. Though this new sky is the symbol of everything I have ever fought for, it is much more unsettling than my familiar shadows.
Phoenix has been unconscious for almost a week now. At least one of us is getting the well-deserved sleep that we need. I remembering watching as she exchanged words with Sauron and then as he ran her through with his sword. Ever the warrior, Phoenix followed suit and soon both leaders had fallen in front of one another. I don’t know how she managed to get the strength to join the two rings, but that is another mystery of the enigma that is Phoenix.
After Sauron fell, his troops were in disarray. Most did not know what to do without their leader, so they were easy pickings for our combined forces. I vaguely remember reaching Phoenix’s side as the infamous King Elessar did the same. When our faces met, it was like looking at a legend. The bards of our time did not do him justice; he was the epitome of nobility and loyalty. I could see immediately where Phoenix got her stubbornness and determination from.
Then, as I looked around for Halden, I saw him. The elf that had caused my friend so much heartache, though in this world that had not yet come to pass. He stood tall and regal, blonde hair flying on the morning winds. He looked every inch the warrior and devoted lover Phoenix had described him to be.
My thoughts were interrupted by a question from King Elessar. He asked if my lady was hurt or worse, dead. Then, he fell unconscious from the wound on his side. I thought if she wasn’t dead after Sauron’s death, it would be my head. I quickly felt for a pulse and found a faint, erratic one on her wrist.
“My lady lives, but for how long I do not know,” I had said while trying to conceal the surprise in my voice.
With help from Halden, we managed to safely bring Phoenix and her father back to Gondor. Oh, how I wish she was wake to see the famous White City she had so long desired to see. Even in the aftermath of war, it’s walls still shone white and true.
Phoenix was taken to a large guest suite in the King’s tower. For a night and a day, I washed bad bandaged her cuts while helping her to fight the fever that had taken her body. Many of her people came to wish her well and Halden often came by to tell her about the new world she had help bring to his people. But still she did not wake.
When King Elessar awoke three days later, he and many of his friends tried repeatedly to get me to explain who we were and where we came from. I remained very tight-lipped on the subject, saying only we had come to fight for the same reasons they did; freedom. However, in my mind, I knew we fought for it much more than they ever would.
At dusk on the sixth evening, King Elessar’s coronation was held. I knew, from hearing the Gondorians speak, that the Lady Arwen would be coming to meet her intended with all of her family. How convenient; now when Phoenix awoke, she could come face-to-face with ALL the demons of her past.
All went to the coronation, save me. I knew that if Phoenix woke during the ceremony with no one at her side to explain why she was still among the living, there would be hell to pay. She would have a hard enough time grappling with the fact that she was not dead, let alone dealing with all those who she had buried in her mind centuries ago.
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As the festivities began in the Great Hall, I paced back and forth in the guest suite where I had stayed for over almost a week. The sun was just setting and fireworks were illuminating the dimming sky. As I ran to the window to watch the bright display of pyrotechnics, I heard a faint sigh that only my elven ears could detect.
Rushing to Phoenix’s side, I sat on the oversized bed as she opened her eyes. Sadly, they were still black as night and heavy with burden. She looked around quickly, like a frightened animal. I knew what she was thinking and mentally prepared myself for the verbal lashing that was about to ensue.
But it never came. Instead, Phoenix fell back against the pillows dejectedly. I barely heard her whisper, “I am going out on a limb and assuming this is not the afterlife.”
“I don’t think the gods would have sent me as their angelic messenger,” I replied with an empty laugh.
“Now I know I am not dead. In the afterlife, I would have escaped you feeble attempts at jokes,” Phoenix said softly as she pulled herself up into a sitting position, “where are we? How long have I been unconscious? Is the king…”
“Three days and yes, the king is alive. We are in a guest room in the King’s tower of Gondor,” I said, interrupting her and looking away, “the king and the rest of the city, along with most of our people, are celebrating after King Elessar’s coronation.”
“This must be hell. Only in such a place would I be forced to face the demons of my past and brutally feel these old wounds re-opened,” Phoenix said as a single tear fell from her dark eyes.
“Phoenix, don’t think of this opportunity as a bad thing. You’ve been given another chance to make amends with your past. You’ve been given another chance to live. Don’t be so quick to regard it as a cruel trick of the Fates,” I said with as much optimism as I could muster.
“Opportunity? Chance? Have you gone mad, Rae? I don’t want another chance to live. The one time I am supposed to be dead and yet here I am in the flesh. Just once I would like to close my eyes and never open them again,” Phoenix said with a surge of anger as she threw back the covers and walked soundlessly to the window where I stood.
“Are you that eager to welcome death? That desperate to stop living when all of your dreams are just within your grasp,” I responded with equal anger, “I didn’t want to mention it right away, but he is out there. Alive and in the flesh. The gods haveen yen you another chance at the life that should have been yours. Wo yoo you have to be the martyr all the time? Why can’t you just take what is yours when it is so close?”
“Because I am scared,” Phoenix yelled at my face, blood rushing to her cheeks as her pale skin came alive with anger, “I buried my pain so deep within my soul that to unlock it now will be my undoing. The only way I ever existed for as long as I did was by swallowing my own wishes and living on those of others. I haven’t lived for myself in over a millennia, Rae. I don’t think I can.”
“Life isn’t supposed to be easy, Phe. It is brutal and harsh. There are days you don’t want to get out of bed simply because the very task of living is too much to endure. But then there are those rare moments where everything falls into place and the world seems like it should be. You have arrived at one such point right now. You can either look at this opportunity as the chance of a lifetime or a personal hell,” I explained as calmly as my anger would allow.
“I didn’t ask to be their hero, Rae. I didn’t ask for an immortal life that has caused me more pain than anything. Yet I bore it with all the other burdens that were placed on my shoulders with the failures of my parents. The one chance I had for a peace that I knew one night out of my 2,000 years of living and it is gone. Gone like the wind,” Phoenix replied in an empty voice.
I probably should have paid closer attention to any wandering eyes or listening ears straining to know our conversation. I probably should have locked the door when this argument began. I probably should have done a lot of things, but at that moment, I was only thinking with my emotions and not my head. That is why I didn’ar tar the door open softly and several small gasps from whoever was eavesdropping on us.
“What if this is that chance, but in another guise? What if this is the opportunity for the peace you have long sought after? Will you throw it away simply because it is hard? What happened to my mighty queen who threw herself at death’s feet and lived to tell that tale,” I pleaded with urgency in my voice.
Phoenix walked farther down the wall to the door that led to the balcony. I kept my eyes trained on her lest she do something stupid. But she did not. Instead, she turned her back to me and began to speak in frightened, small voice, “And what if this is such an a chance? Oh, how I would give anything to run to my lover’s arms and feel his heartbeat again! But to take such a risk would mean unearthing centuries of long-buried hate and betrayal that I hide away long ago. It would mean facing the mistakes of those who left me; Aragorn, Arwen, Elrond, Galad, Ce, Celebron, my lover, my father‘s friends. Such a re-opening of old wounds would kill me from the inside out.”
“It doesn’t have to be hard. I am here, Halden is too. We will help you bear this burden,” I said as I place my hand on her shoulder in the hopes of soothing her broken soul.
“It is not a burden you can bear nor one you can explain to those who celebrate outside,” Phoenix said as she turned to face me. Her expression was one like I had never seen. Raging eyes stared back at me with a face contorted in confusion and anger. Her auburn hair fell in every which way around her, giving her the appearance of one possessed.
“What would you have me do? Run to my newly acquired family with open arms and dance around like a child? It is not as simple as that, Rae. I have long bore the weight of my father’s failure, my mother’s cowardice, the foolishness of my grandparents, the blindness of the Fellowship and the heartbreak from my beloved. I cannot just walk into the Great Hall, announce my relations to the new King and Queen and expect to be received with open arms. I can’t even do that myself to those that left me,” Phoenix said in a rush of breath.
“I don’t think you’ll have to,” I murmured as I noticed that the very objects of our conversation stood behind Phoenix.
“They’re right behind me, aren’t they,” Phoenix asked as she hung her head.
“All twelve of your demons,” I replied quietly.
Phoenix turned around to face what used to be the ghosts of her past. Her parents stood in the doorway, all dressed as the nobility that they were. Yet an expression of surprise and confusion lay across King Elessar’s face and the Lady Arwen looked heart-broken. Gimli, the dwarf, looked as if he couldn’t decide whether to cry or yell. The hobbits, as their kind do, looked utterly lost. Lord Elrond, Lady Galadriel and Lord Celebron bore an unusual expression for elves on their face; regret. Gandalf, the mighty wizard, held an all-knowing look in his sparkling eyes. And Phoenix’s long-lost lover bore no expression, yet I could read his cerulean eyes like a book; his eyes held all his emotions. I could see confusion, hurt and ultimately, regret of hurting such a lady.
I waited for Phoenix to blow up and yell as she usual does, but she surprised even me for the second time that day. She simply gave a sigh of defeat, turned around, and leapt off the balcony. I knew she wouldn’t have a problem making it down the three stories we were up and by the time her feet hit the ground, she’d be off riding Tempest in an attempt to calm her anger. But her family didn’t seem so certain; they rushed to the balcony looking for the mysterious lady that had saved them in battle.
As I sat my weary body on the chair by her bed, Halden came in. He always did have the worst timing as he chose that opportune moment to ask what happened. Before I could say anything, I looked up and saw King Elessar staring down at me. With a voice that quaked with barely-concealed anger, he asked the same thing. The Lady Arwen chose this moment to break into tears and cry.
I stood up and looked out to the fading sun that was sinking into the approaching storm clouds. Like Phoenix, the sun never could quite seem to strike a deal with nature and shine while the rain came down. With Phoenix, she could never quite come to terms with her past without burying everything underneath walls upon walls against her soul. I knew that this opportunity was the best thing for her, even if she did not at the moment.
“All of you are entitled to know the full story that you came in on the end of,” I said with a sigh as the sky erupted in a storm, “It’s just not a very happy story.”
 
A/N The next chapter will be a full explanation from Raven’s point-of-view about Phoenix’s life. So if you have any questions, the coming chapters will answer them. And if her lover isn’t obvious by now, I will mention his name in the next chapter. Also, by chapter 8, I promise this depression and angsty mood Phoenix is in will begin to abate. Just be a bit patient.