Sex, Drugs, and Orcish Theatre
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,061
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,061
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Epilogue
Epilogue:
Kalina finally woke up sometime around mid-afternoon the day after returning to Lothlorien and found the place again bustling with activity getting together another celebratory feast for the returning heroes. She groaned, knowing that she'd b expected to appear in public and be the center of attention under the scrutiny of important political and social elite. At least until everyone got drunk and forgot why they were there in the first place.
Pulling on a dressing gown, she wandered outside and looked down towards the forest floor. Much to her pleasure, Haldir was skulking under her tree, smoking a cigarette. Unable to resist the urge, she leaned over and spat and giggled as the drool landed with a quiet splatter on his head without him noticing. Haldir continued to smoke his fag then wandered off, still oblivious.
Bored with that, Kalina went back in to her bed, complete with Legolas shackled by one wrist to one of the bedposts and sleeping soundly. Kalina grabbed her dagger and prodded Legolas in the ribs with the hilt. He opened one eye, then the other and tried to blink in unison and focus on Kalina.
"I'm bored," she said, pulling out a key from her cleavage and using it to unshackle Legolas. "Let's go find some food and the ranger and go get lost in the forest for a few hour so nobody tries to make us do something useful." Legolas, now free, rubhis his wrist and sleepily took in what Kalina had just said.
"Sounds like a plan," he said, stretching and yawning as Kalina threw a pair of trousers at his head.
"Well hurry up then!" she ordered, getting restless.
"Yes, my most impatient Mistress," said Legolas sarcastically.
"Play nice or I'll run off with the ranger and won't let you watch," threatened Kalina. Legolas snorted at the hollow threat, but decided not to push it and began dressing. Once finished he half-mockingly offered his elbow to Kalina who accepted it as they left with enough weed between them to incapacitate a small hoard of hobbits.
"If we turn up late enough nobody will notice we're wasted," suggested Legolas.
"Oh fuck it. Let's just turn up wasted and see if anyone notices. Daddy went on an all night bender with Gandalf once we got home. I somehow doubt they'll pay much attention to the two of us grinning and staring off into space," said Kalina.
"Plus I think I saw more of those mushrooms I was fed," said Legolas optimistically.
"Oooh! Right. There's the ranger. Grab him and lead us to the shrooms!" ordered Kalina. The weirdness factor that had remained high over the last few days seemed to be settling . It. It was a beautiful afternoon and a good vibes seemed to emanate. Making obscene jokes all the way, the two elves and human made their way into the woods and had a happy afternoon. This does NOT, however, mean they lived happily ever after. That would be dull. Exceptionally dull.
But at least they had the afternoon to themselves to regain some scant fragments of sanity before the next horrific encounter that would inevitably find them.
Kalina finally woke up sometime around mid-afternoon the day after returning to Lothlorien and found the place again bustling with activity getting together another celebratory feast for the returning heroes. She groaned, knowing that she'd b expected to appear in public and be the center of attention under the scrutiny of important political and social elite. At least until everyone got drunk and forgot why they were there in the first place.
Pulling on a dressing gown, she wandered outside and looked down towards the forest floor. Much to her pleasure, Haldir was skulking under her tree, smoking a cigarette. Unable to resist the urge, she leaned over and spat and giggled as the drool landed with a quiet splatter on his head without him noticing. Haldir continued to smoke his fag then wandered off, still oblivious.
Bored with that, Kalina went back in to her bed, complete with Legolas shackled by one wrist to one of the bedposts and sleeping soundly. Kalina grabbed her dagger and prodded Legolas in the ribs with the hilt. He opened one eye, then the other and tried to blink in unison and focus on Kalina.
"I'm bored," she said, pulling out a key from her cleavage and using it to unshackle Legolas. "Let's go find some food and the ranger and go get lost in the forest for a few hour so nobody tries to make us do something useful." Legolas, now free, rubhis his wrist and sleepily took in what Kalina had just said.
"Sounds like a plan," he said, stretching and yawning as Kalina threw a pair of trousers at his head.
"Well hurry up then!" she ordered, getting restless.
"Yes, my most impatient Mistress," said Legolas sarcastically.
"Play nice or I'll run off with the ranger and won't let you watch," threatened Kalina. Legolas snorted at the hollow threat, but decided not to push it and began dressing. Once finished he half-mockingly offered his elbow to Kalina who accepted it as they left with enough weed between them to incapacitate a small hoard of hobbits.
"If we turn up late enough nobody will notice we're wasted," suggested Legolas.
"Oh fuck it. Let's just turn up wasted and see if anyone notices. Daddy went on an all night bender with Gandalf once we got home. I somehow doubt they'll pay much attention to the two of us grinning and staring off into space," said Kalina.
"Plus I think I saw more of those mushrooms I was fed," said Legolas optimistically.
"Oooh! Right. There's the ranger. Grab him and lead us to the shrooms!" ordered Kalina. The weirdness factor that had remained high over the last few days seemed to be settling . It. It was a beautiful afternoon and a good vibes seemed to emanate. Making obscene jokes all the way, the two elves and human made their way into the woods and had a happy afternoon. This does NOT, however, mean they lived happily ever after. That would be dull. Exceptionally dull.
But at least they had the afternoon to themselves to regain some scant fragments of sanity before the next horrific encounter that would inevitably find them.