Cuil Eden

Title: Cuil Eden
Part: 42/?
Rating: PG
Series: Sequel to Anestel and Ethuil'waew
Pairing: Glorfindel/Legolas
Author's website: http://www.loes-valthen.de.vu
Warnings: mpreg, d/s
Disclaimer: All the pretty elves belong to Tolkien, I'm just playing with them and will give them back afterwards.

Sorry you had to wait so long - but it seems the writer's block is finally gone now. Enjoy the chapter! :)

Beta’d by Calenharn Elflover, thank you! :)


42

Gîlríon had woken them early that morning, demanding to be allowed to play in the Golden Wood almost as soon as the sun had risen. Yet Glorfindel had to meet with his guards, and so Legolas soon found himself outside alone with Gîlríon.

Anticipating a morning spent playing on the moss-covered ground of the forest, or perhaps along the banks of the river, Legolas had put on the oldest and most worn garment he possessed – an old robe already covered with grass stains, and so loose on him that he had to keep it wrapped around himself with a belt.

The first time Legolas had looked into a mirror that morning, he had groaned in dismay. It was not enough that the old robe looked like a dress on him, with the belt giving the impression of a narrow waist and curving hip – but he had all but forgotten that Glorfindel had braided his hair yesterday, when it had still been damp from their bath in the pool.

Now, just as during the feast when he had met Celeborn for the first time, his hair fell in gentle waves down his back. Legolas thought that he had never looked more like a girl – yet certainly Glorfindel would be more than pleased to find him like this when he got back.

Legolas frowned at his reflection, then sighed in resignation and allowed his chattering child to drag him away.

For an hour or two, they played in the forest, Gîlríon chasing after every bird he could see, until he got distracted by a curious squirrel. Later on, they picked flowers and made wreaths of them, but by the time they were finished, Gîlríon had started to tire.

“Shall we go look for your atto?” Legolas asked and gave his son a tender kiss before he put the wreaths on their heads. Then he picked Gîlríon up, laughing when the usually so exuberant child just snuggled tiredly into his arms now.

“You can have a nap once we have found your atto,” he promised, and then looked around. Their play had taken them away from their talan – they could not be that far away from the guards’ barracks now.

Legolas resolved to ask the first person they met, for although he was certain that they had to be close, he had never been to the barracks before – and the first person that eventually crossed their way was indeed wearing the uniform of Lórien’s guards.

Haldir.

Legolas paled and took a step back.

The Marchwarden smiled, a cold, derisive smile that made Legolas tighten his grip on his dozing child.

“Ah, here I was almost glad to find you all alone, without your besotted protector hovering around...”

Legolas shivered at Haldir’s tone, remembering the first time they had met – and remembering also what Haldir had done to his brother. Glorfindel had said that Haldir’s fëa was wounded, yet what kind of wound could cause such a deep, festering hate? Even if there was a reason for it, he did not think that he would ever be able to forgive him for hurting Celeirdúr.

Haldir’s smile widened when Legolas could not quite hide his anxiety at this sudden meeting, and Legolas felt anger well up in him.

“Yet now I see that I was wrong. Never fear, princeling, I will do you no harm. I do not attack women,” Haldir said with another look full of contempt. “Hurry back to your golden Lord and make certain that the next time we meet, you have another infant suckling at your breast, so that I will not be tempted to draw my sword against you.”

“I am no woman!” Legolas protested, although he knew that he would have done better to follow Haldir’s suggestion and leave. “I am not afraid of you! I have a sword, I can protect myself!”

Haldir laughed at that and looked Legolas up and down. The youth self-consciously touched the flowers in his hair, and then flushed with even greater humiliation as he remembered what he looked like right now. Just like when they had met that first time, his hair was curled like that of a maiden, and instead of being heavily pregnant, he now carried a sleeping child in his arms.

“Just let me bring Gîl back to our talan, and fetch my sword – then I will give you the fight that you want,” Legolas said bravely, but Haldir shook his head.

“So that you can search for your Lord and have him fight your duels for you? And what kind of warrior would leave his sword behind in his rooms, so that he can play nursemaid to a child? It is now or never, prince.”

Legolas sighed tiredly and shifted Gîl’s weight to his other arm. “But how do you suggest I fight you without my sword?” he asked. “I promise, I will not tell Glorfindel, I do not even know where he is! But Gîl is tired; even you should be able to see that. Do you want me to fight with my son in my arms?”

"It might come to that if you are attacked on your way back," Haldir said cruelly. "Will you tell them then to wait until you have found a nursemaid? Yet we shall find someone to guard his sleep, princeling, never fear - and I shall find you a sword as well."

Legolas sighed when he realized that this went exactly the way Haldir must have anticipated. The marchwarden wanted to humiliate him, there was no doubt about that, and no matter how bravely Legolas might act, he knew that he would barely last a few minutes in a fight.

Yet by now, the greater humiliation seemed to him to run away, to show Haldir that he feared him. He was not the frightened child he had once been - the child that Haldir had met in Imladris. He was a prince... No, more than that, he was beloved by Glorfindel of Gondolin. He might be no great warrior, but he had courage enough not to run from a fight.

He might not win, but he would gladly take the bruises Haldir would give him to prove to everybody that he was no coward. They could laugh at him for losing, but he would not let them take his courage from him.

"There we are," Haldir finally announced when the path led them towards a large clearing. The mellyrn surrounding the space were smaller than they were in the center of Caras Galadhon, yet still they dwarfed even the oldest trees of Mirkwood.

The branches of each tree held several telain with wooden constructions on them that seemed to be both airy and sturdy at the same time. They were unlike any building Legolas had seen in the Golden Wood so far, but when he saw the warriors that were sparring on the ground, walking on the winding wooden pathways and bridges that connected the telain, or simply sitting in spots of sunshine laughing with friends, he realized that they had finally come to the barracks.

There were buildings on the ground here, too, stables and sheds at one end of the clearing - and armories as well, Legolas soon discovered when Haldir went into one without another word to him.

For a moment, Legolas tightened his hold on Gîlríon who tiredly mumbled something against his shoulder, but apart from a few curious looks, nobody reacted to his presence.

For now, Legolas thought bitterly, knowing that there would be the usual taunts as soon as they realized what Haldir planned to do. By then, Gîl had to be somewhere else - but which of these soldiers here could he trust with his son?

He did not think that any of them would harm Gîl, but all the same, to trust them with his child, when he knew what they all thought about him...

He sighed, but then straightened when Haldir returned with a sword in his hand.

"Here - this is the standard practice sword we use for sparring. Dos this meet with your approval? Or... if you are afraid of a sharp blade, I can go begging among the children of Caras Galadhon for wooden swords?"

Haldir smirked, and although Legolas hated himself for it, he did not dare to protest.

The truth was that he had used a wooden blade until a few months ago, and the practice swords they now used were blunt. A real, sharp weapon that could do true harm he had only used a few times thus far, and it had always been during light sparring with Glorfindel, who was careful not to injure him - and who also had never once been even remotely in danger of being touched by Legolas' blade.

Legolas tried to not let his thoughts show as he accepted the sword from Haldir's hand, but to his dismay he found that the sword was not only sharp - but also heavy. Too heavy for his dainty little maiden's wrists, he thought angrily, wishing now more than ever that he would have thought of taking his own, lighter sword with him when he went out.

But then, what did it matter? Either way, he would lose against Haldir - but this way, it would be more humiliating if it seemed like he could not even hold a sword.

"My son will not watch this," he said decisively, glaring at Haldir as if he were just waiting for him to protest. But Haldir only smiled and nodded.

"Yes... I would think that you do not want him to see that," he drawled, and Legolas' hand tightened around the sword in annoyance.

"Your Lord's warriors have been assigned that talan over there - certainly one of them can be made to watch over him."

Legolas looked towards the tree Haldir was pointing at, feeling relieved when he found only one of the guards sitting outside of the building. He might need someone to look after Gîl... but he definitely did not need any more witnesses to his upcoming humiliation. Especially not the guards he had come to like and respect during the journey...

"I will be back in a moment," he told Haldir, ignoring his soft laughter as he set out for the talan Haldir had shown him. Haldir had not thought to give him a sheath for the sword, and now he felt slightly ridiculous as he crossed the clearing with his son in one arm, and a drawn blade in the other.

When he got closer, the guard looked up and gave him a questioning look, while Legolas sighed in relief. He had been half afraid that it might have been Fairion or Laindir, and while he liked the two, they might have tried to stop him from fighting with Haldir.

This guard, though, was one whom he had not really talked to during the journey, and while he looked somewhat discomfited at Legolas’ sword, he did not protest when Legolas asked him to bring Gîlríon to Glorfindel. Apparently the Lord had left the barracks to meet with some of Lórien’s advisors, and Legolas had to suppress a relieved sigh at the news. He knew what would happen if Glorfindel were to witness their fight – he would want to protect Legolas, as he had promised, and take his place.

But this was something Legolas needed to do. Haldir might continue to hate him for whatever reason was behind his dislike of all Sindar, but at least after this fight, he would not be able to call him either a coward, or a maiden.

Now that he no longer had to worry about his son, he returned with new resolve to where Haldir was still waiting for him. A throng of Lórien guards had assembled at the prospect of a duel, and Legolas felt the familiar fear well up in him at the humiliation that lay ahead. Would it not be easier to find some excuse to return the sword to Haldir, and then flee?

It would be easier – but it would be craven. And whenever they would meet again in the future, they would both know that he was a coward.

Yet he was no coward - for how could Glorfindel love a coward? There was strength in him; his Lord had told him so often enough. Legolas feared that it might not be the bodily strength that he needed to win this duel, but he knew that he did have the strength of spirit to survive a humiliating loss and still walk away with his honor intact.


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talan (pl. telain) - flet
atto - father [Quenya]