Cuil Eden
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
77
Views:
65,753
Reviews:
290
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
77
Views:
65,753
Reviews:
290
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 40
Title: Cuil Eden
Part: 40/?
Rating: R
Series: Sequel to Anestel and Ethuil'waew
Pairing: Glorfindel/Legolas
Warnings: mpreg, d/s
Homepage: http://www.loes-valthen.de.vu
Disclaimer: All the pretty elves belong to Tolkien, I'm just playing with them and will give them back afterwards.
As usual, I have to thank Calenharn Elflover for betaing this - thank you so much for all the hard work you put into this! :)
And thank you also for your reviews! I am so glad that despite AFF's long downtime, you have decided to stick with this story! :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
40
Legolas had paled, and now tried to steady himself on the ground with trembling fingers. Once again he saw the vision that the Mirror had given him, the warrior with the fair hair who looked like his mother – the warrior whom he had feared had been his future self. But that was not who he was...
“Elvýr,” Legolas moaned, his eyes filling with tears as he once again relived the horror of helplessly witnessing the violation of his brother. And it had also been his brother who was pregnant, who lay bound and bloodied in his chamber in the royal wing. Legolas cried silently, grieving for the brother whom he had never known, who had suffered so. He saw again the grotesquely swollen belly stretched over the dark creature that was destroying Elvýr, driving him insane as it poisoned him.
Then Legolas swallowed, and turned haunted eyes to Galuron. "The ring," he whispered, "His ring! He was bound, but who-?"
“A warrior in his company. He was killed by the orcs in that skirmish. And we thanked the Valar for their mercy, that he did not have to witness how Elvýr suffered before – before adar ended his torment!” Galuron’s eyes were red from weeping, and his voice was full of loathing for the brother who had never been forced to live through their family’s pain.
“I want the entire story, Galuron!” Glorfindel commanded impatiently. “What happened to your mother? There have been countless rumors, but I want the truth now! I will not let you go until you tell Legolas why you treated him the way that you did. I will drag you back to our talan if you force me to!”
“How dare you!” Galuron cried out indignantly, then fell silent when Glorfindel moved a hand back to his throat with a deadly smile.
“I saw her fall,” Legolas whispered, still kneeling on the ground. “I saw her fall, Galuron, her hair fluttering in the wind – Elvýr looked just like her, did he not? And so do I...” More tears ran down his cheeks. “I know you hate me, Galuron, but please, do I not have the right to know?”
“Oh, you do deserve to know – you deserve to know exactly what pain adar suffered through!” Galuron laughed in despair. “You who talk so much about how you love your son – can you feel no compassion for he who not only had his son violated by yrch, but had to watch while the foul spawn of the Dark Lord grew in his beloved son’s body, driving him to madness while it slowly killed him? Do you know what it did to adar, to be forced to take the life of his own son to save him from this unimaginable torment? And naneth...”
Galuron groaned, closing his eyes against the onslaught of his memories. “Adar was never the same afterwards; for a time we feared he would succumb to madness himself. But naneth, naneth suffered as well, and she would not talk to any of us – and adar, who was the only one who could have helped her bear this pain, adar kept away from her, from all of us! Then the war started, and still they kept to themselves and found no healing, though naneth was of a noble Sindarin line, and as resilient as the trees of our forest! For such a long time she clung to life, and we all could see her fade more from this world with every passing day – only her will kept her here, her Sindarin pride the only weapon against despair when her husband had become a stranger, and she could find no solace even with her remaining children!”
“Then, one day, she announced that she was pregnant with another child. We did not think she and adar were even talking to each other anymore, she like a ghost and he like a wounded animal! Yet there she was, pregnant and growing more alive with every passing day. Even adar seemed more like himself again, after such a long time of pain and war! After so many years, after over four centuries since that tragedy, we had hope again! And then, finally, she gave birth – to you.”
Galuron moaned and closed his eyes. “Our hopes, our dreams were so cruelly destroyed! What we thought was a gift of the Valar – another child to finally heal our family – was in the end just another torment visited upon our line! You looked like her, Legolas, yes – you looked just like Elvýr! What she had so long tried to suppress, the memory, the pain, it all came back to her. Every time she looked at you she suffered through it all again! And when the healer announced that you also bore the same curse as Elvýr – the curse that led him to that most horrible death! – then her fëa finally broke.
“For centuries she had clung to life, but she had no more strength left. She could not bear to look at you and each time see Elvýr’s death anew! She ran from us, like a ghost she fled, as if already she was no longer part of this world. No one could catch her, not any of adar’s captains, nor even adar himself. She took the narrow path up into the mountains, and even today we still do not know if it was an accident, or if she could not even wait for Mandos to accompany her fëa to his Halls...”
Galuron was silent for a time.
“Yes, she fell, Legolas, she fell, and her fëa was already gone before adar could reach her. Never again call him cruel, for you do not know what pain is! Better that you lived your life with the horses, well-guarded and hidden away, than that you caused adar the same madness that killed naneth!"
"Why?" Legolas asked softly, still trembling as he knelt on the ground. "Why? Why would you keep this from me, why send me away without ever at least telling me the reason?"
Legolas closed his eyes, desperately trying to hold back the sobs that wanted to break forth. "You made me believe it was my fault, when it was nothing I had done! It is not my fault that I was born this way - blame the Valar if you must blame somebody! I know enough of pain, Galuron. I know that you will never believe me, but I know exactly how Elvýr felt. I know what it is like to be held down, to be used against your will, to hope that somebody will help you although you are all alone... and I know what it is like to give up, to beg for Mandos' embrace to ease the torment. How is it that you sent me away from my family so I would be safe from Elvýr's fate, yet when the same thing happened to me you laughed at my violation and called me a whore? Am I a whore for being weaker than an elf who has few equals in all of Middle-earth? Was Elvýr not then a whore as well? Why did you not laugh at him and exile him for lying with yrch? For that is what you did to me!" Legolas cried, now weeping bitterly as he relived how his father had betrayed him.
"How dare you belittle what Elvýr went through?" Enraged, Galuron once again began to struggle, but although Glorfindel had released his throat, he still had him securely pinned. "Do you think that I will believe your lies when it is so obvious that you are hiding the truth? A violated elf fades, Legolas – unless he has the strength of will to live.” His lip curled as he did not even bother to hide his contempt. “Yet here you are still, claiming to have found happiness with he who is our enemy!"
Glorfindel angrily slapped the hate-filled prince beneath him. "Long indeed have I been an enemy of your family, yet even I have shown Legolas more compassion than you do! How can you, as his brother, laugh at his pain? Do you truly hate him so much that you rejoice in his violation?
"For that is the truth, Galuron... I forced him, I abused him right there in your forest, and not only once, but twice! I had him twice, because he did not dare to tell his family, fearing your rejection! Yes, what he says is true... He was dying in my arms. His fëa was almost gone when I realized what I was doing.
"Yet I could not let him die, not like that - so I forced pleasure onto his inexperienced body. Ai, it was so very easy, for not only was he untouched, he was also starved for affection, for simple acknowledgement! No, do not call him a whore when it was you and your family who made him into such easy prey!"
"I wanted to die then," Legolas whispered sadly, his eyes unfocused as he saw the past now rather than his brother. "When adar sent me away, I thought that I would die, that that was what adar wanted, for me to die in a strange land, alone and forgotten - and I wanted it, too. You brought me up with the certainty that I am nothing, that nobody would care whether I existed or not. Oh, Celeirdúr might feel some sadness, yet even he, whom I adored for the small affection that he showed me, did not ever dare to intervene with the fate that adar had decreed for me."
Legolas sighed. "Better I had died then, there at the lake in the forest, than having to face adar... yet I lived through that, and I lived through the journey to Imladris as well. I think I was nearly mad as well then from grief, yet I could not give up, although I wanted nothing more than to lie down and find peace in Mandos' arms. But I had more to think of than just myself - there was my child.
"Say what you want, Galuron, for I might be many things, but I am no coward. I knew what was waiting for me in Imladris - abuse certainly, imprisonment maybe, perhaps even death. Yet that was waiting for me everywhere else as well, for I was untrained in weaponry, in languages, and I did not even know how I was to give birth! So I came to Glorfindel, the father of my child, to give myself to him in exchange for my child's life."
"And what a wonderful father he must be," Galuron scoffed bitterly. "One look at your back certainly shows how well you have chosen!"
"He has reason enough to punish me," Legolas said softly. "Yet he loves Gîl just as much as I love him - and that is more than my adar ever did."
Then Legolas tiredly shook his head. "Please, let him up, my lord... He has told us the truth now, just as you have asked him to, and he has listened to my truth as well. He might never believe me, yet at least I have tried one last time."
Reluctantly, Glorfindel stood, releasing his captive who raised a hand to his bruised throat and swallowed reflexively, before scrambling to his feet.
"Adar will never forgive you, Legolas," Galuron spat, "not after that oath you swore!" He shifted his gaze to Glorfindel and grimaced in disgust.
"Ai, brother... I have not been my father's son since the day I was born!” Legolas said plaintively. “He was the one who sent me into exile - all that I have done was to finally accept what he said. I am nothing to him, as I am nothing to you. Yet my lord cares for me, and has declared my son his heir. For that he deserves my obedience, my loyalty, my admiration... And for that, you may finally call me a whore, for I know that the only thing of worth that I can ever give to him is my body."
"Your oath does not make you a whore; indeed, it only proves your nobility of spirit,” Glorfindel said gently, turning from Galuron to go to where Legolas still knelt. He carefully helped him up, then raised a hand to tenderly stroke his cheek. "Pen vell,” he sighed, then halted, giving Legolas a thoughtful look. “Pen villen," he finally breathed, gifting Legolas with a tender kiss to his brow when the youth began to tremble in his arms at the endearment.
"That was the oath of a vassal to his liege lord, and as such I accept it. In exchange for your servitude, I shall give protection, and for your admiration..." Glorfindel looked at Legolas, and then suddenly he smiled, a smile of joy that made him shine with an otherworldly radiance, so pure and bright that Galuron gasped and took a step back, while Legolas gazed wonderingly at his lord.
"For your admiration... love."
----------------------------
adar – father
naneth – mother
fëa - soul
pen vell – dear one
pen villen – beloved one [villen: past participle of mil- ‘to love’]
----------------------------
Part: 40/?
Rating: R
Series: Sequel to Anestel and Ethuil'waew
Pairing: Glorfindel/Legolas
Warnings: mpreg, d/s
Homepage: http://www.loes-valthen.de.vu
Disclaimer: All the pretty elves belong to Tolkien, I'm just playing with them and will give them back afterwards.
As usual, I have to thank Calenharn Elflover for betaing this - thank you so much for all the hard work you put into this! :)
And thank you also for your reviews! I am so glad that despite AFF's long downtime, you have decided to stick with this story! :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
40
Legolas had paled, and now tried to steady himself on the ground with trembling fingers. Once again he saw the vision that the Mirror had given him, the warrior with the fair hair who looked like his mother – the warrior whom he had feared had been his future self. But that was not who he was...
“Elvýr,” Legolas moaned, his eyes filling with tears as he once again relived the horror of helplessly witnessing the violation of his brother. And it had also been his brother who was pregnant, who lay bound and bloodied in his chamber in the royal wing. Legolas cried silently, grieving for the brother whom he had never known, who had suffered so. He saw again the grotesquely swollen belly stretched over the dark creature that was destroying Elvýr, driving him insane as it poisoned him.
Then Legolas swallowed, and turned haunted eyes to Galuron. "The ring," he whispered, "His ring! He was bound, but who-?"
“A warrior in his company. He was killed by the orcs in that skirmish. And we thanked the Valar for their mercy, that he did not have to witness how Elvýr suffered before – before adar ended his torment!” Galuron’s eyes were red from weeping, and his voice was full of loathing for the brother who had never been forced to live through their family’s pain.
“I want the entire story, Galuron!” Glorfindel commanded impatiently. “What happened to your mother? There have been countless rumors, but I want the truth now! I will not let you go until you tell Legolas why you treated him the way that you did. I will drag you back to our talan if you force me to!”
“How dare you!” Galuron cried out indignantly, then fell silent when Glorfindel moved a hand back to his throat with a deadly smile.
“I saw her fall,” Legolas whispered, still kneeling on the ground. “I saw her fall, Galuron, her hair fluttering in the wind – Elvýr looked just like her, did he not? And so do I...” More tears ran down his cheeks. “I know you hate me, Galuron, but please, do I not have the right to know?”
“Oh, you do deserve to know – you deserve to know exactly what pain adar suffered through!” Galuron laughed in despair. “You who talk so much about how you love your son – can you feel no compassion for he who not only had his son violated by yrch, but had to watch while the foul spawn of the Dark Lord grew in his beloved son’s body, driving him to madness while it slowly killed him? Do you know what it did to adar, to be forced to take the life of his own son to save him from this unimaginable torment? And naneth...”
Galuron groaned, closing his eyes against the onslaught of his memories. “Adar was never the same afterwards; for a time we feared he would succumb to madness himself. But naneth, naneth suffered as well, and she would not talk to any of us – and adar, who was the only one who could have helped her bear this pain, adar kept away from her, from all of us! Then the war started, and still they kept to themselves and found no healing, though naneth was of a noble Sindarin line, and as resilient as the trees of our forest! For such a long time she clung to life, and we all could see her fade more from this world with every passing day – only her will kept her here, her Sindarin pride the only weapon against despair when her husband had become a stranger, and she could find no solace even with her remaining children!”
“Then, one day, she announced that she was pregnant with another child. We did not think she and adar were even talking to each other anymore, she like a ghost and he like a wounded animal! Yet there she was, pregnant and growing more alive with every passing day. Even adar seemed more like himself again, after such a long time of pain and war! After so many years, after over four centuries since that tragedy, we had hope again! And then, finally, she gave birth – to you.”
Galuron moaned and closed his eyes. “Our hopes, our dreams were so cruelly destroyed! What we thought was a gift of the Valar – another child to finally heal our family – was in the end just another torment visited upon our line! You looked like her, Legolas, yes – you looked just like Elvýr! What she had so long tried to suppress, the memory, the pain, it all came back to her. Every time she looked at you she suffered through it all again! And when the healer announced that you also bore the same curse as Elvýr – the curse that led him to that most horrible death! – then her fëa finally broke.
“For centuries she had clung to life, but she had no more strength left. She could not bear to look at you and each time see Elvýr’s death anew! She ran from us, like a ghost she fled, as if already she was no longer part of this world. No one could catch her, not any of adar’s captains, nor even adar himself. She took the narrow path up into the mountains, and even today we still do not know if it was an accident, or if she could not even wait for Mandos to accompany her fëa to his Halls...”
Galuron was silent for a time.
“Yes, she fell, Legolas, she fell, and her fëa was already gone before adar could reach her. Never again call him cruel, for you do not know what pain is! Better that you lived your life with the horses, well-guarded and hidden away, than that you caused adar the same madness that killed naneth!"
"Why?" Legolas asked softly, still trembling as he knelt on the ground. "Why? Why would you keep this from me, why send me away without ever at least telling me the reason?"
Legolas closed his eyes, desperately trying to hold back the sobs that wanted to break forth. "You made me believe it was my fault, when it was nothing I had done! It is not my fault that I was born this way - blame the Valar if you must blame somebody! I know enough of pain, Galuron. I know that you will never believe me, but I know exactly how Elvýr felt. I know what it is like to be held down, to be used against your will, to hope that somebody will help you although you are all alone... and I know what it is like to give up, to beg for Mandos' embrace to ease the torment. How is it that you sent me away from my family so I would be safe from Elvýr's fate, yet when the same thing happened to me you laughed at my violation and called me a whore? Am I a whore for being weaker than an elf who has few equals in all of Middle-earth? Was Elvýr not then a whore as well? Why did you not laugh at him and exile him for lying with yrch? For that is what you did to me!" Legolas cried, now weeping bitterly as he relived how his father had betrayed him.
"How dare you belittle what Elvýr went through?" Enraged, Galuron once again began to struggle, but although Glorfindel had released his throat, he still had him securely pinned. "Do you think that I will believe your lies when it is so obvious that you are hiding the truth? A violated elf fades, Legolas – unless he has the strength of will to live.” His lip curled as he did not even bother to hide his contempt. “Yet here you are still, claiming to have found happiness with he who is our enemy!"
Glorfindel angrily slapped the hate-filled prince beneath him. "Long indeed have I been an enemy of your family, yet even I have shown Legolas more compassion than you do! How can you, as his brother, laugh at his pain? Do you truly hate him so much that you rejoice in his violation?
"For that is the truth, Galuron... I forced him, I abused him right there in your forest, and not only once, but twice! I had him twice, because he did not dare to tell his family, fearing your rejection! Yes, what he says is true... He was dying in my arms. His fëa was almost gone when I realized what I was doing.
"Yet I could not let him die, not like that - so I forced pleasure onto his inexperienced body. Ai, it was so very easy, for not only was he untouched, he was also starved for affection, for simple acknowledgement! No, do not call him a whore when it was you and your family who made him into such easy prey!"
"I wanted to die then," Legolas whispered sadly, his eyes unfocused as he saw the past now rather than his brother. "When adar sent me away, I thought that I would die, that that was what adar wanted, for me to die in a strange land, alone and forgotten - and I wanted it, too. You brought me up with the certainty that I am nothing, that nobody would care whether I existed or not. Oh, Celeirdúr might feel some sadness, yet even he, whom I adored for the small affection that he showed me, did not ever dare to intervene with the fate that adar had decreed for me."
Legolas sighed. "Better I had died then, there at the lake in the forest, than having to face adar... yet I lived through that, and I lived through the journey to Imladris as well. I think I was nearly mad as well then from grief, yet I could not give up, although I wanted nothing more than to lie down and find peace in Mandos' arms. But I had more to think of than just myself - there was my child.
"Say what you want, Galuron, for I might be many things, but I am no coward. I knew what was waiting for me in Imladris - abuse certainly, imprisonment maybe, perhaps even death. Yet that was waiting for me everywhere else as well, for I was untrained in weaponry, in languages, and I did not even know how I was to give birth! So I came to Glorfindel, the father of my child, to give myself to him in exchange for my child's life."
"And what a wonderful father he must be," Galuron scoffed bitterly. "One look at your back certainly shows how well you have chosen!"
"He has reason enough to punish me," Legolas said softly. "Yet he loves Gîl just as much as I love him - and that is more than my adar ever did."
Then Legolas tiredly shook his head. "Please, let him up, my lord... He has told us the truth now, just as you have asked him to, and he has listened to my truth as well. He might never believe me, yet at least I have tried one last time."
Reluctantly, Glorfindel stood, releasing his captive who raised a hand to his bruised throat and swallowed reflexively, before scrambling to his feet.
"Adar will never forgive you, Legolas," Galuron spat, "not after that oath you swore!" He shifted his gaze to Glorfindel and grimaced in disgust.
"Ai, brother... I have not been my father's son since the day I was born!” Legolas said plaintively. “He was the one who sent me into exile - all that I have done was to finally accept what he said. I am nothing to him, as I am nothing to you. Yet my lord cares for me, and has declared my son his heir. For that he deserves my obedience, my loyalty, my admiration... And for that, you may finally call me a whore, for I know that the only thing of worth that I can ever give to him is my body."
"Your oath does not make you a whore; indeed, it only proves your nobility of spirit,” Glorfindel said gently, turning from Galuron to go to where Legolas still knelt. He carefully helped him up, then raised a hand to tenderly stroke his cheek. "Pen vell,” he sighed, then halted, giving Legolas a thoughtful look. “Pen villen," he finally breathed, gifting Legolas with a tender kiss to his brow when the youth began to tremble in his arms at the endearment.
"That was the oath of a vassal to his liege lord, and as such I accept it. In exchange for your servitude, I shall give protection, and for your admiration..." Glorfindel looked at Legolas, and then suddenly he smiled, a smile of joy that made him shine with an otherworldly radiance, so pure and bright that Galuron gasped and took a step back, while Legolas gazed wonderingly at his lord.
"For your admiration... love."
----------------------------
adar – father
naneth – mother
fëa - soul
pen vell – dear one
pen villen – beloved one [villen: past participle of mil- ‘to love’]
----------------------------