The Music in My Heart

Title: The Music in My Heart, Chapter 40 betaed
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, Glorfindel/Haldir, Elladan/OFC, Elrohir/Legolas, others implied
Rating: R
Warning: AU (Story set 770 years after ROTK); Slash and het.
Feedback: This is my first fanfic, so constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: AFF.net; Fanfiction.net
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Alex Cat for her help in betaing this fic. Thanks also to Lady Victoria for her comments and support.
Disclaimer: Any of the residents of Middle-earth and Aman that you recognize belong to Prof. Tolkien’s estate. The same is true about Middle-earth and Aman. I’m only visiting and admiring the “views”.
Summary: Sauron may be gone, but his legacy of evil still lingers. As Middle-earth faces the threat of another dark lord, a party of elves departs Aman on a mission for the Valar, a mission of mercy long delayed.


I would deeply appreciate hearing from anyone that may be reading… PLEASE!!!!


Chapter 40 --- The Undecideds

“I think that the undecideds could go one way or the other.”
George Bush, Sr. (1988)

*****

Elrond and Seere walked slowly back to their rooms after spending a quite few hours sitting together in the garden. Elrond had pulled Seere’s arm through the crook of his to prolong their contact for as long as he could. A sense of peace had settling into his fëa since their talk in the glade two days earlier, a peace such as he had never known. With Seere’s approval, he had approached her father to tell him of their desire for his blessing of their courtship. Erestor had approved their match even if his enthusiasm had been less than wholehearted.

/I understand his feelings. Had he or Glorfindel wanted to court Arwen, I would have been conflicted, as well. I suspect the others may not be too pleased with this either. They still see her as the little elfling they helped Erestor raise. I have no such memory and can only see the lovely elleth at my side. The only time her age occurs to me anymore is when I am forced to remember she is an innocent. At all other times, we have so much in common our ages are irrelevant. They may not understand this… how different our perspectives on Seere are. I wonder if Seere has considered this?/

“Seere, your Ada indicated he will make our announcement at breakfast in the morning. Are you ready for this, ind nin?” (my heart)

“I take your question to mean you expect opposition to our courtship?” she grinned.

“This is serious! I fully expect my sons to object for they do not see you as I do. I have no memory of you as a child, but they still think you are one!” he responded, his own grin appearing in response to the look of outrage that appeared on her face.

“Ha, the two of them acted more like elflings then than I ever did and they still do!” Seere fumed, seeing too late his smirk. “I see they acquired their love of mischief honestly as they learned it from their Ada!”

“Aye they did!” Swinging her around into his arms, he leaned down to kiss her. Against her lips, he teased, “I am a thoroughly bad influence on all!”

The kiss had just begun to deepen when a shocked voice cried, “Ada! What do you think you are doing? Have you taken leave of your reason?” A strong hand clasped each of their shoulders and wrenched them apart.

The two stunned lovers found themselves facing an outraged Elladan, flanked by his equally angry twin. The faces of Legolas, Gimli, Azeriel, and Haldir hovered in the background, the expressions on their faces ranging from shock to amusement to curiosity. Lindir appeared from the opposite end of the hall having heard the raised voices, his face carefully neutral.

“I was not aware I needed your permission to kiss Seere, ion nin.” Elrond asked in a very controlled tone, his own anger seething just below the surface. /How dare he talk to me thus! “Taken leave of my reason” indeed!/ He pulled Seere tightly to his side and waited for his sons to explode. (my son)

“I would think you would know better than to think kissing the child of your best friend was acceptable. For Valar’s sake, she is little more than an elfling! How could...”

“’Child’! ‘Elfling’! How dare you call me either! You may be millennia old, but you act like a twenty-year old most of the time, E’dan!” Seere exclaimed.

Looking between father and sons, she continued, “As for needing someone to approve his kissing me, I am the only one that can do that! Make no mistake, either of you… I am not a child nor a plaything nor a glass flower that needs to be guarded! Elrond has asked to court me and I have agreed. Adar knows of this and has given us his blessing. That is all you need to know. I suggest you remember that!”

Her anger vented, she reached up to pull Elrond’s face down to hers and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. Feeling his arms start to tighten around her, she slipped out of his embrace with a purred, “And, I suggest you remember that!” With one last glare at the twins, she disappeared through the door into her chambers.

A brief, shocked silence followed the closing of her door before an amused chuckle broke the tension. “This should be quite entertaining to watch!” That said, Azeriel opened the door to the twin’s sitting room and walked in still laughing.

*****

“You can not tell me you approve of this! He is far too old for her. She is not even eight hundred years old. She was kissing my ada… my seven thousand year old ada, as it happens! I fail to believe Erestor has blessed this…. this… I do not even have words to describe how wrong this is!” Elladan ranted, flanked by his nodding twin.

A serene Azeriel sat grinning up at her mate, his twin, the other elves, and the dwarf. “Did you by chance hear your own words, melme? I do believe you said she was ‘not even eight hundred years old.’ In fact, she is seven hundred fifty-two… three hundred and twenty-three years my senior by the way. Since the age of majority is one-hundred, I do believe that makes us both adults. As such, neither one of us needs your approval on our conduct or opinions.” (love)

Crossing her arms in front of her, she settled back into her chair and continued. “Further, she has told you Lord Elrond has asked officially to court her and she has agreed… with her father’s blessing, I might add. Again, it is not your place to approve or disapprove of their courtship. If you do not wish to have a breech in your relationship with your father and Seere, I suggest you remember that, Elladan. And so might you all.”

Grinning at the open-mouthed stares she was receiving, she added, “If you great warriors had bothered to pay attention to what has been happening right in front of your very eyes, you would have seen this coming months ago! Do you not recall their reaction to each other at their first meeting? If it was not love at first sight, it was as near to it as we are ever likely to see. I would judge their bond is already half formed and likely to grow quite deep. Their match will happen whether any of you approve, so you had best accept that now and avoid making things worse by being stubborn about this.”

Pausing, she studied the speechless pair. In a softer voice, she added, “Both of you have told me you wish your Adar could find love with his life partner as you worry he is so alone. He has; she is a worthy mate for him. You grieved that Ermehtar’s attack would prevent her from accepting a potential husband, one that would appreciate and accept her. She clearly has accepted your Ada and loves HIM... not his title or legend, but him. Be happy for them both.”

“And Elladan, might I suggest you and your twin need to pay more attention to your own courtships and less to theirs. Do either of you ever plan to announce our betrothals so that we can have the blessing of the marriage ceremony? Do you plan to hide your relationships with Legolas and me forever from your father? Are you ashamed of us… or do you regret betrothing yourselves to us?” Gazing deeply into Elladan’s eyes, she let the depth of her growing hurt show for the first time. “Do you plan to leave us hanging indefinitely in this limbo until you gather your resolve sufficiently to tell him? I suggest you sort through those questions first before you spend time trying to arrange the affairs of others.”

That said, she rose and disappeared into the suite of rooms she shared with Elladan.

A grinning Gimli and Haldir made a hasty retreat to return to their respective quarters, suddenly not so sure being single was a bad thing. An amused, if somewhat bemused Legolas, slipped through the door of his and Elrohir’s rooms leaving the stunned twins standing in the middle of the room.

*****

Celeborn and Erestor exchanged concerned looks as they studied the tense expressions on the faces of their family. For once, all had gathered for breakfast in the main dining hall. Despite this fact, the group was largely silent.

/If they are this tense before I announce Elrond and Seere’s courtship, I shudder to contemplate what they will be like after,/ Erestor mused.

Seere sat to his left beside Elrond, a place the peredhel had escorted her to with great frequency in recent weeks. /All the signs have been there, so I wonder if any of the others also foresaw their match? I hope the twins behave for once and do not cause a scene in the dining hall if they disapprove. That is the last thing we need to happen!/

A gentle hand came to rest on his left arm. Looking down into his daughter’s eyes, he saw the hurt she was trying to hide from the rest at the table. Frowning, he whispered, “What is wrong, pen vuil?” (dear one)

“They know, Ada. They saw Elrond walking me back to my rooms last night and there was an argument between Elladan and his father over our courtship,” she replied.

Confused, Erestor let his eyes wonder around the table. “They realized he was courting you from seeing him walking you to your rooms? He has done that many times, so what was different last night?”

When a slight blush colored both Seere and Elrond’s cheeks, he had to smother a grin. /Ah, not just walking with her it seems. Time to lighten the mood at this table with a little tweaking of egos./

Pitching his voice so the others could ‘accidentally’ overhear, he asked, “So they objected to his goodnight kiss, I take it?”

Seeing her nod to confirm his assumption, he sighed. In a slightly louder voice he offered, “Elrond, my friend? It might be a good idea is you refrained from tossing my daughter onto the table and ravishing her… at least until I have a chance to make a formal announcement of your courtship.”

Catching the teasing tone in her father’s voice, Seere responded for them. “Does your advice still hold if I am the one doing the tossing and ravishing, Ada?”

The other members of their family froze in shock hearing her comment, confirming the fact that all had been listening to their exchange. The tense moment was broken by Celeborn and Glorfindel’s laughter. As the eyes of the table turned to see what had amused the pair, Celeborn remarked, “Well done, pen vuil! You managed to leave both Elrond and your Ada speechless at the same time. Tis a feat few have ever been able to accomplish. I do believe you have truly met your match, mellon nin!” (dear one) (my friend)

“Adar’ra! Do not tell me you approve of this match?” Elrohir exclaimed, struggling to keep his voice down.

Erestor began to laugh along with his two old friends. “Approve of it, Elrohir? I strongly suspect he and our dear captain have been playing matchmaker for this pair for months… unless I miss my guess!”

Seeing a look of guilt creep onto Celeborn’s face, the Chief Counsellor smirked. “You said as much with what you did not say during our talk last evening. I often discover the interesting parts of the story lie between the lines rather than in them. Why do you think I am so good at negotiating treaties and trade agreements, meldir?” (friend)

“Well, I had always thought it a matter of your being brilliant, better prepared than your counterpart, and that you are the most stubborn, willful elf in Arda… but I am willing to consider you may have other… less obvious skills!” Elrond responded, a grin teasing the corners of his lips.

“Humm? Being called ‘the most stubborn, willful elf in Arda’ by Elrond Peredhel is rather like Elladan claiming Elrohir was a bad influence on him!” Erestor countered.

Feeling the tension ease around the table as laughter greeted Erestor’s remark, Elladan grinned at his father as he offered, “Tis a memorable moment, Ada, to have Erestor finally admit his stubborn nature as well as acknowledge my twin’s corruptive behavior!”

As the teasing mood overtook the family, Seere reached under the table to take her father’s hand and give it a gentle squeeze in thanks for defusing the situation. Squeezing her hand in return, he bent to kiss the top of her head. /If Seere should love my dear friend, then I will support them both… unless Elrond does anything to hurt my daughter. If he does, he will have many long years to regret it!/

*****

After Erestor returned to his seat having given his blessing for the Lord of Imladris to court his daughter, he was not surprised to see the vast majority of the valley’s elven inhabitants had already guessed, if not known, of Elrond and Seere’s attachment. His official statement gave the match sanction and took it out of the field of idle gossip.

A buzz of excitement began to swirl around the room as the match was now officially open for discussion and speculation. It was no longer a potentially scandalous rumor as Lord Erestor knew and had given his blessings. Many had noted the less than enthusiastic response from the twin sons of the Lord of the realm. The pleased expressions on the faces of the Lords Celeborn and Glorfindel were also open to comment, especially that of the Lord of the Golden Wood as his own daughter had long been the first Lady of Imladris.

The discussions were in full swing when Elladan and Elrohir rose to their feet and asked for silence as they too had announcements to make. Elladan took a step to his right placing him behind Azeriel’s chair. Elrohir did likewise to his left and took position behind Legolas. The seated pair exchanged puzzled, yet hopeful looks, a faint blush staining their cheeks as all eyes turned to watch them.

As was often the case, the twins began to speak at the same time, their words in perfect harmony. “We would like to announce our betrothals and ask for the blessings of our family and friends on our upcoming marriages.”

Elladan continued alone. “Adar, I would like to ask for your blessings upon my betrothal to the Lady Azeriel. We hope to marry at the Winter Festival, the one year anniversary of the day my Lady accepted my proposal.”

Elrohir then spoke. “Adar, I too would like to ask your blessings upon my betrothal to Prince Legolas. We would also like to marry at the Winter Festival as we have been betrothed for over one year.”

All eyes swung to Elrond to see his reaction. Smothering his grin that they still did not realize he knew, Elrond rose to his feet and turned to face his sons and their mates. “It is with great joy and gladness I give my blessings to both unions. I have long dreamed of the day my sons would announce they had found their life partners. I have prayed since the day of your birth that the Valar would gift you each with a mate that would love you deeply and passionately, support you unconditionally, and match you in intelligence, bravery, and honor. My prayers have been answered more fully than I could have dared to hope. Azeriel and Legolas… my children, I welcome you officially to our family. My sons… you have both indeed been blessed!”

Turning to address the assembled elves, he motioned everyone to rise. “Please join me in celebrating the betrothal of my son Elladan to my new daughter, Azeriel and the betrothal of my son Elrohir to my new son, Legolas. May the blessings of the Valar and Eru Ilúvatar be upon them always!”

Amid the returned blessings, Elrond moved around to embrace his children, a bright smile lighting his face. As he drew closer, he could not resist adding, “My only question is… what took you so long? I have been waiting for this announcement for months!!!”

*****

Mordor, Second Age 3437

/I sometimes wonder how Elrond keeps his temper under such tight control… well, at least about the way some insist on treating him. He is not so ‘controlled’ with his temper on other matters… my influence no doubt!/

Rolling over in his camp cot, Ereinion shifted his arms to pillow his head trying to find a comfortable position in hopes of gaining several much needed hours of sleep. After several fruitless minutes, he gave up and resigned himself to another long night.

/As tired as I am, I should have no trouble sleeping, but… I keep seeing his face after Isildur and Thranduil left the tent. Why have I never tried to deny what is said about him? I have let them go unchallenged for I wrongly hoped all would eventually see for themselves how he earned my confidence and utter trust. The fact he labors harder on behalf of our people than anyone I know… labors to serve me and the alliance… most of his efforts unknown to any but my inner circle… that he should be treated with so little respect…/

Huffing his irritation and building anger, the King rose from the tangled bedding and strode to the flap of his tent hoping the air outside was easier to breath than the air inside. /Damn, these noxious fumes! The smell of sulfur and the grit of drifting ash burns my lungs and robs me of strength. Sauron does not need to defeat us on the battlefield… the air of this land will do the job most effectively given enough time!/

A faint movement to his right drew his attention. His herald was sitting next to the dying fire on a gnarled stump, his eyes trained to the black sky. /Looking for his father’s star again. How many times over the years have I seen him thus? It grieves me he is denied that modest comfort in these dark lands. It has been years since we last saw the night sky and felt the blessings of Ithil’s light. I wonder at the pain he must feel at knowing his father’s singular fate… denied the path of the mortal or the eldar… to see him and yet not… to never have his counsel or company. He was so young when he lost them…/

Sighing, he walked quietly over to join Elrond. After sitting down on a large rock, he took a moment to study his friend. The lines of exhaustion and stress were all too easy to see. They lent a premature age to the peredhel’s face. The sight tore the ancient hole in his heart a little wider. The King knew he was the one that had placed so many of the burdens that caused them on his strong shoulders… that he had also been the source of much of the gossip that plagued his steps.

“I am sorry, mellon nin. It is unfair that you are burdened so. I would have had it otherwise had I had another candidate with even half your abilities. But our times demand I ask the most of our best.” (my friend)

The silver eyes turned to meet the king’s midnight blue gaze. Ereinion struggled to contain his desire to pull the younger elf into his arms in a vain attempt to provide comfort… to assuage the wounds life had inflicted on both their hearts.

A sad smile slowly emerged on Elrond’s face. “Our current situation is hardly one you can lay claim to have caused… beyond the fact you have the duty to lead us in these dark days. You owe me no particular apology for anything, my king.”

“Nay… that is not true, Tercáno. I chose you to serve me because I knew there were none more able… but that meant burdening you with both the demands of the job and the envy of those I rejected in your favor. Tis unfair and you have no one to buffer you from such insulting comments… as I do. None would dare make such a comment to the High King. Until today, none dared make them in my hearing, allowing me to ignore the fact they were being said… all in the name of maintaining our alliances.” (Herald)

Looking down at his feet, he continued. “My past propensity for freely taking lovers… both male and female, has added to your burden. While I have never used my bed as a proving ground for would-be counselors and warriors, I have taken lovers from both ranks… after the fact, but still… It is an easy slur for a small-minded, arrogant person to latch upon to attack your worth… your invaluable contributes to our people and this cause. It is easier to do so than to admit to themselves they did not merit so important a post… so vital a trust. I am sorry that my history… causes you problems.”

“I can only hope that you know that I… that all that truly know you… those aware of the scope of your contributions… those whose opinion truly matters, hold you in the highest regard and count this alliance lucky for your leadership at such a time as this. I would not have laid my gravest burden on you did I not feel this way. You are the only one I would trust with it, Tercáno. And, it is a burden you must carry alone and in secret,” his eyes inadvertently glancing at Elrond’s right hand for signs of Vilya.

Looking up, he was startled to see a tear slip from Elrond’s right eye, its track clearly visible in dust and grime that covered his face… covered them all most of the time. Water was too precious in the wasteland of Mordor to allow the Eldar the standards of cleanliness they craved. The uncharacteristic display of emotion from his stoic advisor startled him as much as it confirmed the depth of Elrond’s sense of isolation.

Feeling the weight of all he had asked of his people, Ereinion rose and walked over to his herald. Placing his hand on his left shoulder, he let his gaze fix on the distant peak of Orodruin. “Never let anyone tell you that your blood is inferior to anyone! You have the blood of kings and of the greatest of all our collective forbearers in your veins. You have the blood of Eldar, Maiar, and Edain. You are the son of Eärendil and Ewing and the brother of Elros Tar-Minyatur!”

Dropping his gaze to meet the shining silver fire of the younger elf he continued, “You chose the life of the Firstborn and have enriched us more than you will ever know by that choice… as Elros enriched the world of men. Elendil counts himself blessed to call you his forbearer… even if his fool of a son fails to recognize the honor and privilege in that claim.”

Squeezing the shoulder under his hand gently, Ereinion added, “Chiefly, I count myself blessed to call you my dearest friend.”

A second tear created a matching mark down Elrond’s left cheek. “Get some sleep, mellon nin. Tomorrow will be here all too soon and bring with it new grief to plague our hearts.” (my friend)

Turning to walk back to his tent, he paused as Elrond’s soft, deep voice reached him. “I too count myself most blessed, Ereinion. Rim hennaed ten' lle dur… ar' mela, haran nin.” (Many thanks for your faith… and love, my king.)

Nodding his head in acknowledgement, the king forced himself to resume walking. Ereinion let the flaps of the tent drop behind him before taking a deep breath, tears coursing down his cheeks. /Ai, Elrond! If you only knew! How do I tell him? How can I tell him knowing it will validate what they have been saying… that I made him my herald as reward for his favor? I cannot lose him… nor will I cause him to be hurt./

“Yet… how will I go on without telling him… I love him?” he whispered.

*****