Birth Marks

*`*`*`*

Hours past, the pain came and went. I could feel the babe descending, opening me.

Aragorn stayed close, helping me to shift my body and rubbing anything that hurt, my sides or neck.

Currently I lay on my side, my husband's talented hand firmly rubbing my lower back. He hummed softly, stoking up and then down.

We had so hoped that this would be a joyous time. I had dreamed of my child's birth, but never had I thought that this would have happened. Our sadness was palpable.

Elrond came to us throughout the day, sometimes alone and sometimes with the human healer, each time checking me to see if I here open enough to deliver our child. On this visit he pronounced me ready.

Aragorn helped move me onto my back, supporting my upper body with pillows. He fetched a basin, soaking a cloth to wipe my face. He looked to his father, eager to help but not sure how.

"Aragorn, why don’t you sit on the bed?" He followed his father's instructions, taking my hand in his.

Elrond felt my belly, pressing gently downward. He spoke briefly to Janith, who left the room swiftly.

I didn't take notice to the healer's return. He handed something to Elrond. "I'm going to break your water."

The blanket was draped over my chest, calming my shudders. The lord pushed it up to my waist, helping to position my legs. "This will not hurt."

I caught sight of a long needle, a small hook on the end. He placed it at my opening and pushed in and upward.was was a strange sensation, but not painful. Soon a gush of liquid soaked the bedding. Janith rushed forward, clean sheets and padding at the ready. My lower region was gently lifted as the soiled cloth was replaced.

My belly felt odd, distorted somehow.

"With the next pain, push." Elrond said, placing the instrument on a nearby table.

I didn't have long to wait, soon the pain was upon me and I did as I was told, feeling the babe slide farther down.

I went on like for for hours, clinging to Aragorn's hand with each new pain.

Elrond checked my opening, still unable to feel the babe's head. "Help me shift him to his side." He told his son.

Strong hands lifted and turned my body, careful of my healing knife wound. Aragorn resumed my back rub and Janith rearranged my blanket. The cool air caressed bcksickside and I shuddered, feeling the next pain begin.

Elrond sat behind me, keeping his fingers inside as I tried to expel my baby. "Much better. I can feel the head."

My left leg was shifted toward my chest, the pains coming faster. An unbearable pressure twisted tht myt my lower belly.

"Oh."

"I can see the head." Elrond said. "Once more, Legolas."

Aragorn moved down, wanting to see his child come forth. "He has dark hair." He announced a moment later.

"Again." Elrond was pulling downward on the baby, the small shoulders slipping through and than quickly the rest of it's small body followed. "A girl."

I held my breath, hoping against hope to hear a cry. Aragorn stood; watching as his father cut the cord that still attached my daughter to me.

She was handed to Rine, who had entered a moment before. The lady was holding out a sheet. Aragorn followed her to a small table by the window. I watched as she cleaned off our child, clearing her tiny nose and mouth.

Time seemed to stand still. I could still feel the pains as ody ody pushed out my child's nourishment.

The baby was wrapped lightly in a small blanket and handed to my husband. He turned to me, fresh tears falling as he returned to my bed.

He cradled our daughter, rocking, kissing her tiny forehead.

The bottom of the bed was cleaned and new padding put down. Janith helped shift me onto my back, a few pillows placed behind to support me.

Elrond wrapped my chest tightly with a clean bandage. "That should help with reducing your milk production." He felt my belly one last time before helping me into a clean sleeping gown. "I'll be back to check on you within the hour."

They all left us. I could only watch as my husband unwrapped our child and counted her tiny toes. She had a thatch of dark hair and her tiny ears were slightly pointed. She was perfect.

Our eyes met. Aragorn bundled her back up and held her out for me. I reached out timidly, cradling her against my chest. "She's beautiful." My words were of my native tongue, unable to remember the common language.

"Of course. She is your daughter." Aragorn slid closer, reaching over to rub his fingers over our child's smooth cheek.

And that's when my tears fell, soon turning into great gulping sobs. My husband embraced us, rubbing my shoulder and arm as I continued to cry, helpless to stop.

We spoke not a word, choosing to study the small face, trying to memorize every detail.

Elrond returned some time later, insisting I drink a cup of tea. He felt my belly again, massaging my womb and encouraging it to go back to its former size.

Aragorn stepped out of the room, clearly needing a small break.

"If you choose to conceive again, you will be able to within the next year, perhaps less." I heard my friend's words, but I did not answer. I only held tightly to the tiny bundle still resting in my arms.

My eyes drooped, my body trying to recover. "Sleep," the lord encouraged. "Sleep and heal."

He left me. Aragorn appeared and took the babe, hugging her close. "SleLegoLegolas. I will be here when you awake."

I started to slip into rest when a sudden thought occurred. "Aragorn?"

"Yes, beloved?"

"Do not bury our child." I waited for his reply, resisting rest.

"I will not." His voice so soft I d had hardly hear his reply. "When you awake and feel more recovered we'll discuss what needs to be done."

I let my eyes glaze over, my last thoughing ing this is one hurt that sleep will never heal.

*`*`*`*

When I awoke, my husband was enjoying his breakfast. I watched as he ate and wondered if he had managed to rest.

I shifted up a little, feeling soreness from below and wincing with my movement. Aragorn was beside me quickly. "Did you rest well
I
I nodded, looking about our room.

"Do you want something to eat?"

Shaking my head, my eyes came back to his.

"Adar has taken her to prepare her. If you are feeling better, we can commend her soul to the Valar tomorrow."

I nodded, looking away, somehow unable to meet my husband gaze.

"Your father will arrive today."

I looked up then; I had forgotten that he was coming.

"I suspect you should be happy to see him." He smiled easily, plumping the pillows behind my back.

"I am looking forward to seeing him and Gimli as well."
How How about we get you up and into a nice hot bath? If you feel up to it, we can eat lunch with our family. They are all asking about you."

I was eager to get clean. Aragorn supported me as we walked to the bathing chamber. He helped me remove my nightclothes and chest wrapping and then into the waiting steamy water.

The scent was relaxing and the hot water soothed my hurts. Aragorn sat on the edge of the tub, rubbing my shoulders. "Would you like me to help you with your hair?"

"Hmm...that sounds nice." My mate looked about the small chamber, eyeing the various bottles and decanters. Finding the one he wanted, hek hik his time, smoothing the silky mixture over my hair. Soon his hands moved down over my tender chest and continued to my mostly flat belly.

We stayed that way for a while, until the water cooled and I was ready to get out. He helped me dry my body and hair and I took my time braiding it as he went to fetch me some clothes.

It was odd to fit into my normal clothes once again. "We still need to bind your chest, Love. Adar said he would give you something to dry up your milk."

I looked down at my chest. It was indeed a weird sensation. A small trail of liquid had escaped a weeping nipple and Aragorn gently wiped it away.

In moments I was wrapped tightly, my shirt pulled down to hide my still swollen chest.

"Come, lets go out to the garden and you can rest until your father arrives." We moved through the halls undisturbed. The few elves that we saw smiled politely, but did not engage us in conversation.

The sun was shinning brightly, the breeze cool and refreshing. I felt better just being amongst the trees and birds. He stopped under a large apple tree. Aragorn picked a piece of its fruit and took out his knife to cut me a piece. It was the sweetest, purest taste and my mouth delighted in its delicate flavor. We sat below the trees shelter andelaxelaxed, feeling its sorrow and comfort.

I must have dozed, because Aragorn was shaking my shoulder to wake me.

"Legolas, your father has arrived."

He helped me to my feet and we made our way to the common room. Aragorn's brothers and sister were seated around the hearth with his father. They took turns embracing me as we entered, offering small words of comfort.

I sat in the available chair. Aragorn stood behind me, his hands lringring in my hair.

"You look much better today. How is your pain?" Elrond rose, pouring drinks for all.

Arwen handed me a glass, kissing my cheek once ag her her worried eyes traveling to my mate.

I held my drink, noting the vintage of the dark red wine. "A little soreness remains, but I feel better. Where is my Adar?"

"He is in the meeting room, looking at his grand daughter."

I rose, patting my husband's hand. "I shall return."

*`*`*`*

My father was sitting next to the small baby bed when I entered. He was gazing down at the small figure resting there.

"Ada?" He spun around and rose quickly,elopeloping me in a tender embrace.

"Oh, Legolas." He held on tightly, his hand moving up and down my spine.

"I'm sorry, Ada." He stood back abruptly, his eyes clearly questioning, yet he did not let go of me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You are not to blame." He walked me over to the settee and pushed men, kn, kneeling in front of me. "Never believe that you are to blame."

I wanted to dispute his words, my head already shaking in protest.

"You must believe this. Aragorn has no doubt told you already."

"He has. But Ada, I fell." He pulled me close again, petting my hair and back.

My shoulders shook.

"Yes, you fell. But it is still not your fault. Nor is it Aragorn's for sending you off."

I looked at him, startled. "Of course it is not Aragorn's fault. He could not have known that we would be attacked."

"And yet he believes." fathfather sat beside me, my eyes drawn to my child.

"It will get better, Legolas. Each day, you will see."

Aragorn entered, kneeling before me. "And I will be with you and you with me and we will help each other." He looked over to our daughter. "And we will never forget her, but the pain of her loss will fade because we have each other."

I closed my eyes, allowing my father to pull me closer. "See, you have Aragorn and your family and frs. s. And tomorrow we will celebrate her existence."

*`*`*`*

The morning dawned bright and clear. I rose and dressed in my royal robes quickly. Aragorn had not moved from our bed. He had spent most of the night holding me and speaking words of comfort.

I shook his shoulder and his eyes opened, roaming over my body. I knew it was strange for him to see me without my huge belly.

"Is it morning already?" He sat swiftly and I went to the wardrobe to collect his dress clothes and crown.

He dressed quietly, moving to the bathing chamber to take care of his morning routine.

We moved down the hall together, the house silent. I sat at the kitchen table, wanting to avoid the dining room. Not yet ready to face my family and friends.

Aragorn raided the pantry and soon had a plateful of fresh fruit and bread. We shared the plate, eating in silence.

A heavy footstep sounded in the hall and I turned to see my dearest friend, Gimli. He moved forward with a single mindedness and soon I found myself enfolded in his strong arms.

"I'm so sorry, laddie." His voice was rough and raw with emotion.

I was so sure I could make it through this day without crying, hoping to grieve alone. But silent sobs racked my frame as my friend held me tight.

His stout arm shifted behind me, grabbing my mate and pulling him into our embrace. "So very sorry."

I do not know how long we stayed this way, Gimli kneeling in front of me and Aragorn's body enfolding around my back.

After some time I looked over my friends shoulder to see my father and father in law standing part way into the kitchen, Elrond's children standing close behind, embracing each other.

"Tis time." My father said, approaching me. He held out his hand and I allowed him to pull me up. We walked slowly, Aragorn at my other side, to the garden.

Below the apple tree that had sheltered me the day before, laid my child. Her tiny body adorned in a pure white dress, wrapped loosely by a blanket that Arwen had lovingly made.

All others stopped a few paces behind, but I move forward and picked up her cool body, snuggling her close to my chest. I remember not the words spoken for her or the blessing my father preformed, only the feel of her in my arms.

Aragorn stood close beside me, resting his hand on her tiny chest. Soon we were left alone to say our goodbyes and a soft song of lament could be heard as our family went back to the house.

Aragorn allowed me a few moments alone with her. I spoke of my love for her and how I would see her again some day. My last words were of my regret of my failure.

My husband stepped closer, holding out his arms and I reluctantly handed over our child. He bid me to return up the path. "I will join you soon."

I left him with our baby, knowing that he would take care of the final deed.

Halfway back to the house, I encountered Gimli, sitting on a bench. He rose swiftly and took my hand, squeezing gently. "I hope you don’t mind that I've waited for you."

I smiled a small smile and followed behind him. We stopped at his chamber and he hesitated before entering. "I have brought a gift, but I know not if you will still be in need of it."

He opened his door and my eyes where drawn to a beautiful hand carved cradle. It was lined with fine silks and a small pillow rested at the head.

"I've carved it myself, but the bedding is a gift from our hobbit friends. They regret not being able to meet us here, but had hoped to visit you at the White City."

I took in his words, running my hands along the smooth wood. "Tis a thoughtful gift and I am sure that it will be useful in the coming years." A slight tremble ran though me as I thought about what I had just said. I was frightened about the prospect of conceiving another child, but Elrond's words of assurance raced through my mind. He told me that we needed to only wait but a half-year and that I should not worry, that truly my child's death was not my fault that my body tried to continue giving her life.

"Aragorn will be pleased you think so. He was unsure when I showed him the cradle."

"Then I shall have to assure him." I said, turning to my friend. "I am glad you have come, Gimli."

He patted my back as we made our way to the dining hall. My family and friends were to gather there. Aragorn had returned and was seated close to his brothers. The small blanket and a bloom from the apple tree lay atop the large table.

My father stepped forward and led me to my husband. He placed a small kiss on my nose, a comforting gesture from my own childhood. Aragorn rose and embraced me.

I know not how we would get through the next days, but I felt so loved and a small measure of peace infolded me.


*`*`*`*

Four years later.

I sat on the mossy ground, leaning against the bark of my favorite tree. Aragorn and I planted it on the day of our marriage and it thrived and blossomed in my garden at Gondor.

The toddler sitting on my lap snuggled closer, his small face upturned, hands clutching his small blanket, enjoying his breakfast.

"Ouch. No biting." He nursed more vigorously before popping my nipple from his mouth and laying his head on my shoulder, a toothy grin pressed against my exposed skin.

I rubbed my slightly swollen belly, feeling the first fluttering of Rinon's sibling. I wondered as I did before, who this new child would look like.

Rinon was so much like his father in all but appearance. He had my golden hair and a slight frame, his ears a little more rounded than my precious daughter. Today was the day of her birth four years ago and I often wondered what she would look like now.

"Rinon, have I told you about the apple tree?" My son looked at me with such innocence, but the mischief shown in his light gray eyes.

"Tell 'bout Ar'nel." He bounced up and down on my lap. "I wuv me siser."

"Indeed, we all love Aranel." My husband's voice drifted from the entrance of my garden and he walked to us, sitting down and holding out his arms.

"Dada!" Our child squealed.

A small noise escaped Aragorn as he was pounced on and kissed fiercely on the cheek and neck. My love took a few minutes to play with Rinon and than leaned over to kiss me.

"Ada, tell 'bout Ar'nel." Our child bounded off his father's lap and ran to the young apple tree across the court. "Ar'nel twee."

"Yes." Aragorn stood, offering me a hand up. We walked arm in arm to her tree, my free hand resting on my new belly.

Aragorn stooped to brush some fallen leaves from the stone at the base, a beautifully engraved gift from Gimli.

"Your sister was the most beautiful baby. She looked so much like you, but for her dark hair." Aragorn snatched up our child, who squealed in delight as he was twirled around the court.

"When I see her, Dada?" They sank to the ground together, looking up into the early morning sky. I sat down with them, running my fingers over Rinon's tiny back and up through his fine golden hair.

Aragorn looked to me but I only shrugged, letting him handle this particular question.

"Well, you shall see her one day. When I cannot say. But I can tell you that she would have loved you very much. She would have loved being your big sister."

Rinon twisted around to look at me. "Ada say I be big brodder, Dada." He scooted closer, climbing into my lap and lowering his tiny head to kiss my expanding belly. "I wuv Alc'nor."

"Alcanor?" Aragorn questioned, but I shrugged again. "Indeed. And I know that you will love your new brother or sister and be a very good big brother." Aragorn patted our child's back, leaning in to give me another kiss.

"Aye." The tiny protestor pushed his way between us, kissing his dada and me in turn. "I go see my twee." And soon he was off and running across the court to a tiny walnut tree.

We both watched, I almost rising when Rinon attempted to climb up into the small limbs.

"He will be fine, Love." Aragorn kissed me once more. Watching as Ara, our child's day keeper, guided Rinon down and away to a new adventure.

"I won't let him fall." Then Aragorn kissed me again and pushed me back against the lush green ground. Desire sparked though my veins and I claimed my lover's lips as he proclaimed, "I will never let you fall."

The end