Such is life

Disclaimer: Still don’t know anything, still the same slash-addict sitting in front of the computer… It’s all in my head…

Author’s notes: Dedicated to you, Bill. Thanks for being there for me when I’m on the verge of breaking down… Karl-Heinz


4. The city of love:

//La cité d’amour…// Dom smirked. The city of love… Yes, that’s what you could call Paris, he thought as he looked out of the window of his small hotel room at the blue neon letters of the shabby sex shop on the other side of the road. He had counted three of them on the 100 metres from the Gare du Nord to the little hotel he and his class mates stayed at.

“A sex shop…” Dom heard Orli’s whining voice behind him and closed his eyes. “Can’t they show any consideration for me?”

Great. Now he was sounding as if he would start to cry at any moment. It had started five minutes after the train had left the station. “I miss Liv.”

Dom nodded.

“I’ll write her a message, perhaps that’ll help. Or will it make it worse, what ya think?”

Dom turned around, ignoring Orli’s anxious face. “Hmmm…” No, it wouldn’t help. Of course it wouldn’t. 11 hours of Orli in the train had convinced Dom that it could only get worse.

“Do you know that I could take the next train and drive home? I want home, not stay in fucking Paris!”

Dom groaned silently. //Why don’t you go then if that’s what you fucking want?// Dom let himself fall head first on the bed he had claimed as his. //Yes, of course. He’s so fucking alone. That guy doesn’t even know what loneliness is!// The emptiness inside felt worse than before, its weight pressing Dom heavily into the mattress.

//No breaking down in public… You can do it. Swallow… Just swallow it down as you always do…// Dark eyelashes closed as if to lock in the tears that threatened to be spilled. //Breathe. Keep breathing. Don’t lose your nerve.// Thom Yorke’s voice seemed to sing in Dom’s head to Radiohead’s “Exit Music”. //In and out… Slowly…//

Suddenly the dark veil was ripped away, the music silencing as a single word broke through the barriers. “Dom? You’re okay?” It was Sean who was looking down worriedly on his friend.

Dom sat up a little, addressing a weak smile to Sean. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a little dizzy after sitting in the train for so long. Haven’t eaten properly.”

Thank god Sean seemed to believe him as he started to rummage in his backpack, finally coming up with a sandwich he offered Dom. “Here that’ll make you feel better.”

Dom smiled thankfully as he accepted the sandwich, forcing the food down his throat, the sandwich suddenly tasting like cold ash that filled his mouth.

They didn’t have much time to rest for their teacher wanted them to see at least a little bit of Paris on the first day in the town. //Tomorrow would’ve done it, too…// Dom cursed as he climbed up the many stairs to Sacre Coeur. //What idiot had the fucking idea to build a church on a fucking hill?!// he thought as he carefully watched his feet as not to draw the attention of any of the men surrounding him that were trying to sell little miniatures of the Eiffel Tower to tourists. Finally they had made it and Dom turned around, breathing heavily. OK. Now he did understand why somebody would want to build a church on a hill, he thought as he took in the marvellous view of Paris.

“Can’t we just go in?” Again Orli. “I mean I wanted to phone Liv tonight and I have to buy a phone card before the shops close…”

He could spoil anything, even the most magnificent view. Dom ignored his friend and walked past the heavy wooden doors of the church, entering its cool shadowy inside.


~*~


“Isn’t it beautiful?”

Dom jumped as Professor Mortensen’s voice suddenly filled his ear.

“Sorry for sneaking up on you, but I just had to do it,” the man grinned amusedly, not looking sorry at all. “What were you dreaming about? Your girlfriend back home?”

Dom felt the tips of his ears turn red. //If he knew…//
“Um…actually I was admiring the nice view.”
//Fuck!// Dom cursed himself as Prof. Mortensen cocked his head, arching his eyebrows ever so slightly. //Bad choice of words! Really bad.//

“Yes, the view is really…inspiring. It’s screaming to be sketched!” Mortensen smiled, his gaze trailing down the steps to a group of girls and boys sitting further down. “Any plans for tonight or are you going to head back to the hotel and drop dead into your bed?” Mortensen asked, brushing blond strands from his eyes.

“Orlando,” Dom pointed at his friend who was standing a few metres away from them. “He wants to hunt a phone card, call Liv. I’ll go with him. Promised Liv to take care of him. But then I’ll drop dead into my bed!”

“Young love,” Mortensen sighed and started to jog down the stairs. “See you tomorrow then. Bye!” he called over his shoulder.

Do followed his teacher with his eyes until he vanished in the crowd standing at the foot of Sacre-Couer before going to Orlando. “We are leaving or what?” he asked, looking dreadfully at his friend’s watery eyes.

“Just a minute…I… It’s ten and all the shops will be closed, but I promised to call Liv…”

Sighing deeply Dom put a hand on Orli’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “We’ll go and see. If they are closed we’ll go back to the hotel and you’ll send her a message, tell her you’ll phone her tomorrow, right? I think I have some chocolate hidden somewhere in my back…” Dom added, knowing that Orli couldn’t resist chocolate.

And really Orli had to smile a little. “Ok…Sorry to cry on you, but it’s all just a little too much…”

//Yeah…// Dom thought as he started to climb down the Montmartre Hill. //Too much of never enough…//


~*~


~When you were here before,
Couldn’t look you in the eyes
You’re just like an ang…~

Frantically Dom searched the shelf over his head for his mobile to switch off the alarm clock. //Yes, I’m awake. I’ve heard it!// Dom hid himself a little deeper under the bedcovers as the music continued to play in his head.

//~But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here…'/

“Mmh… Who’s gonna stand up first?”

No, of course sleepy head Orli wouldn’t. And Sean, too, looked more asleep than awake. //Jesus bloody fucking Christ! I wanna sleep!//
“Alright, I’ve understood! It’s me again…” Dom growled and tried to untangle his legs from the bedcovers. //Stupid fucking French! Why can’t they use normal bedcovers just as everybody else?!//

He closed the door to the bath room, his eyes widening in horror. //Fuck, I’ve forgot… It’s pink!// Dom thought, bracing himself on the sink, as he let his left hand trail down his chest while letting the other slip into his boxers, grabbing his hard flesh tight. //Yes…// Dom bit back a moan when he started to pump his cock, his other hand playing with his nipples. Dom drew breath in sharply as he felt a familiar tingling in his balls that spread through his whole body, his hands moving faster, more erratic. //Oh my god, YES!//

A violent shudder shot through Dom’s whole body as he came, heavily slumping against the sink, his cheeks turning red as he realized whose face it was he had seen in front of his inner eye as he orgasmed.


~*~

“Orlando! Hurry up! We’re late already!” Again Dom hammered against the small bath room door.

“Just a sec! I need to fix my hair!” came the reply and really the door opened and Dom came out. “Alright, I’m ready to leave!”

Dom rolled his eyes, dragging Orlando out of the door. “We were supposed to be at breakfast 10 minutes ago! You know that I won’t be a pleasant company if I have to leave with my stomach all empty and grumbling…” he growled as he sprinted down the stairs.

“Hey, stop whining already, Dom!” Orli exclaimed. “You’re always nagging around!”

//I am what?!// Dom bit back a harsh remark, because they were just entering the dining hall. //Fuck…// The only place available was on a small bench next to Professor Mortensen. “Mornin’,” Dom mumbled, feeling the heat rise in his face as he let himself sink down on the bench, nearly jumping up again as his knee brushed Mortensen’s thigh.

“Oh, Mr Monaghan is honouring us with his lovely presence!” the older man grinned and bit into his baguette, licking the crumbles from his fingers.

Dom followed each of his teacher’s movements with his eyes, his cheeks burning when the other man suddenly looked directly into his eyes.

“Admiring the view again, Domenic?” Mortensen asked and started to peal a banana he had taken from the fruit bowl in front of him.

“Well, um…I think Paris is a beautiful town…” Do stammered, hastily tearing his gaze away from Mortensen who was now sliding the banana into his mouth. //No!! Think of… Fuck he’s gorgeous…// Dom was squirming on the bench. //Socker matches… No, not good… Men in shorts… Mathematics! That’s it…// Dom thought as he tries to memorize everything he had ever learned about Algebra.

“Hmm…” Mortensen’s lips curved around the banana as he took another bite. “Would you like to see more of it?” he asked in a low voice after he had swallowed, his knee nudging against Dom’s. “You might get a chance later…”

Before Dom could even think of an answer, Mortensen had stood up and was now clapping his hands to make sure that everybody was listening. “Your attention please, ladies and gentlemen! We’re going to leave in about half an hour for the Eiffel Tower, the Champs-Elysées and the Arc de Triomphe. Who’s not there at time will be left behind, understood?”

Suddenly the room was filled with the sound of chairs scraping on the ground, the clinking of glass as everybody was about to leave. Dom, too, was standing up and just wanted to grab his keys as suddenly Mortensen held him by his elbow.

“Wait, Domenic! I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to the cinema tonight.”

//What?!//

“Cinema?” Dom stammered. “Like just the two of us?”

Mortensen first stared at Dom’s blank face for a few moments and then started laughing heartily, letting go of Dom’s arm. “Domenic!” he exclaimed. “You’re not thinking I’m trying to seduce you, are you?” Mortensen cleared his throat, brushing a blond strand from his face. “No, I just had the idea the whole group could go to the cinema tonight, but you weren’t there when I asked the others…” Mortensen smiled at Dom. “So what ya think?”

Never before Dom had blushed to his hair roots. “Um…sure. Yes…” he mumbled before he fled from the room, running up the stairs.


~*~


“Dom? Dommie? Are you okay?”

//No…// Everything was blurring around Dom as he stared down the stairs, not able to take his eyes from the tiny people standing at the ground.

“Domenic! Don’t you break down in the middle of the stairs!!”

“I can’t…” Dom whimpered and lifted his gaze, looking at Orlando with glassy eyes filled with panic. “What if I slip or the whole thing crashes down?! I can’t!”

“Yes, you can.” Orlando seized him by his shoulders and started to force him up the stairs. “That’s fucking ridiculous, Dom! Why should the fucking Eiffel Tower break down? It’s been standing here for over a hundred years and nothing like that has ever happened.” Orlando sighed deeply when they reached the first platform and lead his friend to a bench where he slumped down heavily, his heart still beating like mad.

//Can’t go further…too high…//

“Fuck mate, you don’t look like you’re going to make it to the second platform…”

Dom’s eyes widened in shock. “You mean it goes still higher?!!” The metal construct around Dom seemed to sway, twisting and turning to the soft tunes the wind was whistling.

Orli glanced down at his friend, looking worried. “There are two more platforms, mate. Two hundred metres still to climb up.”

A small metallic rustling was to be heard as some more tourists walked up the stairs and Dom’s hands cramped down on the edge of the wooden bench he sat on.

Orli frowned. “I mean you could’ve told us that you’re afraid of heights! You didn’t have to come up here.”

“I’m not afraid of heights, I’m afraid of falling,” Dom tried to joke despite his obvious fear, but Orli only shook his head.

“I won’t let you climb up higher, Dom. Is it okay for you to wait here or do you want me to go down with you?”

“I think I’ll be alright,” Dom replied shakily.

“Ok…” Orli sighed and started to walk up the stairs, leaving Dom behind who continued to stare into the blue sky in front of him.

//Fuck…// he groaned inwardly, burying his face in his hands. //Why am I doing this anyway? It would be so easy to quit…// Dom wiped the wetness from his eyes. //Yes, that’s what I meant with I’m afraid of falling…//

To be continued….


Author’s notes: Sorry to everybody who asked me to write some Monaboyd. Something else might happen though… No one knows what future holds within…