Haldir's First Love

Title: Haldir’s First Love
Type: FPHet
Author: Lori Anne
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Haldir/OFC, Rúmil/OFC, Orophin/OFC
Warning: OFC describes her rape in ch. 6 & graphic sexual content in several chapters.
Disclaimer: Tolkien is the master, not me! I own nothing except my OFC’s and one lowly OMC. I have made nothing nor do I intend to make anything from this story except one or two Haldir fans sated.

Beta: Alex
Timeline: Before, during and After the fellowship (which is inconsequential to this story)
Notes: Enjoy!!!!
Summary: After a torturous week, Lorinaura finds comfort in the arms of her childhood love.

Haldir's First Love

Chapter 4 Honesty and Love



He woke to the morning sun warming his face and the smell of lavender all around him. It took him but a moment to be fully aware of whom he held in his arms and under what circumstance he held her. Before he could think better of it, he moved his head to the nape of her neck, nuzzling her with his nose. His heart ached for her and he closed his eyes, wishing her awake with everything he had in him. When she made no move, he heaved a long, saddened sigh.

His stomach started growling relentlessly. If she was going to wake, he certainly did not want her to wake to that. So, reluctantly, he let her go and gently rolled out of the bed.

A knock came at the door as soon as he rounded the corner to the kitchen. "Enter," he said as he took a bite off one of the fruits Orophin brought last night.

Rúmil poked his head in and said, "The Lady sent me to ask how she fares. Orophin went to her last evening and spoke of the sleeping spell Lorinaura forced him to use.” He grinned. "Did she really say she wasn't his sister?"

Haldir snorted a small laugh, "Aye. She certainly did and it was like music to both of our ears at the time."

"Then she truly has not changed since we last saw her."

"I am sure that is not the case. She has been gone a very long time. I received few letters from her and wrote only once or twice. I know the three of us have changed greatly and can only assume she has as well."

Rúmil seemed to mull over the statement and then nodded in agreement. "Well, either way, I am glad she is here now." Then he began to tell his Marchwarden what was done at the Southern fences in his absence.

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Sun. She could feel the sun on her face. She could smell her own lavender soap. 'Oh, thank the Valar. It was all just a nightmare,' she thought, taking a deep breath and it caught in her throat from the sheer pain.

Her shoulder and stomach. She moaned, opening her eyes and tried to sit up only to find she could not, without support. She saw the nightstand beside her bed and tried to use it to help her up, knocking a pitcher of water to the floor. "Not a dream," she murmured to herself.

Haldir immediately rushed into the bedroom to find Lorinaura trying to sit. "No! Stay where you are!" he ordered, a little more firmly than he intended, but all the same, it was the correct thing to say to her. He looked back to Rúmil and found he was nearly out the door, motioning up the stairway to let him know Galadriel would come, soon.

"Hal?" she asked weakly still trying to sit up. She was taken aback. She remembered his distinct voice and cant, but he had changed in appearance so much. He was no longer the thin, wiry elf she left here so many centuries ago. Never in her wildest imagination did she think he could have filled out so nicely. She hardly recognized him. Suddenly the shock of seeing him wore off and the pain began, again. "Hurt...I hurt."

"Lorinaura, stay where you are! Do not try to sit. Do not try to move without my help." This time he forced himself to be a little less stern with her, though not much. "Let me help you turn on your side, the way I had you. The Lady is on her way."

"Hal?"

"Yes, Aura," he laughed a little, placing his hand upon her chest and gently forcing her to lie back down. He felt as if the weight of the world had just been lifted from him. Kneeling beside her, he took her trembling hands in his. "Do not be afraid, for you are safe, now. I will let nothing harm you."

As if she suddenly remembered something, her face froze and she broke down crying. "Mendolir...oh, Hal."

"Was he with you?" he asked. She nodded her head and he could see terror in her eyes. She had obviously been through much more than being stabbed and shot with an arrow. He wondered how much more. "Do not dwell on this right now. We will figure everything out once Galadriel arrives. For now, you must turn back toward me. The injury to your shoulder held poison and I do not want the blood to pool there. Do you understand?"

She nodded her head again and shifted her hips slowly turning toward him, trying desperately not to make the pain any worse than it already was. Wincing, she took a few shallow breaths and lifted her injured shoulder off the bed as she rolled toward him. His soft grey eyes never left hers and she was very grateful, for even as a child they had comforted her.

He smoothed an errant strand of hair from her lips and then stood. "Are you at all hungry?"

She shook her head slightly as he turned from her. "Please Haldir, don't go," she said softly, her body beginning to shake for fear of being alone, again.

"I am not going anywhere." To her surprise and great relief, he climbed under the quilt with her, holding her as he had throughout the night. "You had me worried, Aura. Do not do it again," he commanded with a soft tenderness to his voice. She nestled into his embrace, feeling more secure than she had ever felt in her life.

After only a few minutes, Haldir heard a knock and then the opening of the main door. He looked toward it, but did not move from her as Galadriel and Rúmil entered. "Aura?" Haldir whispered into her ear.

"I am still awake," she replied.

"I am going to let Galadriel tend to you now."

Galadriel stepped around the bed, as Haldir rose, and began to work. He could see the pain lift from Lorinaura's face as the Lady spilled light onto her wounds and whispered soft incantations. After a long while, Galadriel removed her hands and said, "You may sit now, child."

"How do you feel, sister?" asked Rúmil.

Lorinaura rose up from the bed and felt her shoulder. "Better, but achy. Like I have been trampled by an oliphaunt," she replied, giving him a labored smile.

Galadriel placed several pillows behind her back and sat beside her on the bed. "Good. Now, can you remember anything that happened to you?"

"Mendolir and I left Imladris two weeks ago with three of Elrond's top guards. A large party of Orcs overtook us. There were just too many of them. The guards were ripped to pieces while they were still alive." She began to cry. "They were eaten." She looked to Haldir and Rúmil and said, "Mendolir was badly wounded and yet he protected me. Even when they were pulling him apart, he was trying to protect me. Eventually they came for me." She hung her head, looking at her hands, up to Galadriel and then back down to her hands.

"Do you think we could have a moment alone?" Galadriel asked Rúmil and Haldir.

They both bowed, heeding her request and then left the room closing the door behind them. "What do you think she is saying that she would not want us to hear?" asked Rúmil.

Haldir shrugged his shoulders sat down in the chair and stared at the tray of food. Rúmil tossed him an apple, causing his older brother to smile slightly and sat beside him on the couch eating one, himself. "Well, whatever it is, I don't think she told her all of her story. She never mentioned how she was shot by the arrow or her other wounds."

"Where is Orophin?" Haldir finally managed.

"He is at his house; Katarwë was most happy to see him so soon. She thought he would be gone until the end of the week, you know."

"Oh, yes," he murmured, staring at the wall, deep in thought. Rúmil talked the entire time Galadriel was in the bedroom. Usually his brother's droning drove him mad. If it were not for his fierce loyalty, he could never endure him for months at a time in the same border talan. Orophin was much more pleasant to live with, as he was silent much of the time. But today, Haldir was grateful for the distraction, though, he barely heard what was being said. He nodded in all the right places, politely and stood quickly as he heard the bedroom door open. "Is everything all right?"

"It is now; she is asking for you. Will you stay here for a few days while she regains her strength?"

"Only your direct order could drag me from her, my lady." Then realizing the implication of what he just said, he lowered his eyes trying hard not to blush. Rúmil would have a grand time with the statement later, no doubt.

Thinking it was just like him, she smiled. "Well in that case, it is my direct order to have you here. Go to her now, but do not ask her questions about her ordeal unless she prompts you." She turned to go and then looked back over her shoulder. "Oh, Haldir?"

"Yes, Galadriel?"

"No matter what she asks, answer as honestly as you possibly can. Much of her recovery depends upon your truthfulness."

"Of course, my lady," he responded in a absent, dreamy tone. All of his thoughts centered on her requesting him to stay. Him! With his heart ready to burst with emotion, he opened her door and gazed upon the elleth he had loved in his dreams for thousands of years.

"Aura, do I disturb you?" he asked, more of a courtesy than a question she was expected to answer. She sat on her bed, knees bent and wrapped in her arms, as lovely as ever.

"Did you bathe me?" she inquired watching for the slightest reaction. He willed himself not to think of that part of his ministrations, so he would not blush and simply nodded. She could see the great change Galadriel had spoken about with her. He was definately less provocative toward her than he was when they were young, though she could tell he was holding back something. She raised her chin and asked, "All of me?"

With a sigh, he replied, "Yes. You know I did."

She hid all emotion from him; she had gotten very good at a serious pretense over the years. Lord Elrond and his twin sons had very grave expressions at all times. However, it was rarely heard in their words, unless you were not paying close attention. They were the most dry-witted three elves she had ever encountered. The first couple of years she lived in Rivendell, she took everything Lord Elrond said literally. Eventually, after taking many ribbings from him, she found he was rarely serious and was very amused by her stern adhesion to his words. She learned much in the way of humor with him as a guide and now a grave expression came natural to her.

"And were you in the water with me?" she asked, now staring at the tunic hanging over the edge of the washtub.

"Yes," he answered quickly, still standing at the door. For the first time in nearly three thousand years, he was afraid of an elleth. How did she have this effect upon him? Never had he felt more like a fidgeting, little elfling than he did right now and he was raised by the all knowing, all seeing Lady of Lórien herself.

"And were you clothed, Haldir?"

"Yes, Lorinaura," he answered, thanking the Valar he had not disrobed, now.

"I see." She turned to him, looking him in the eyes again, until he looked away. There...that was when she knew she had him. "Well then, I guess my next question is...did you want to be?"

He quickly looked back into her eyes, trying with all his might to see a glimmer of anger, laughter, anxiousness, really any emotion at all and couldn't. He was not sure how to answer. "Oh, I...I," he stammered and then closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. No female had ever made him feel so self-conscious. And what was with her intense gaze?

"You what?" she inquired. "You either wanted to be clothed or you did not at the time. Which was it?"

"Both," he answered finally, decisively. Could she be toying with him? Exacting some sort of revenge for all those times he pinched her or pulled her hair? If she was, he could play at the game...but he had better be sure first. Galadriel must have had a very good reason for telling him to answer all these questions honestly. But, had she known what the questions would be? Most likely. This was just like her.

"Both? That is an odd answer to a direct question." She mulled over the implications of his reply and then reiterated, "Hmm, both."

"Aura, I...."

"Yes, Haldir," she interrupted. "You have something to say for yourself?" She felt him getting very frustrated and to her great disappointment, one corner of her mouth twitched slightly, but did he see? Of course, he did. If Lord Elrond were here, he would certainly be disappointed.

'There is the answer,' he thought. 'A brief curve in her lips. She is toying with me! She has been since I walked in the door. Oh, is it ever her turn for this.'

"Aura, I did not want to be clothed in that tub. Wet leggings are far from comfortable. I had no choice but to be in there with you. The Lady ordered me to get the blood off you before putting you to bed."

"Did you enjoy bathing me, Hal?"

With his stance in the situation much more certain now, what did he have to lose by being honest? He walked to her and sat upon the bed, positioning himself so he faced her. Leaning to her ear, he quietly growled through clenched teeth, "Like I have never enjoyed anything before. I wanted nothing more than to be disrobed in that bath with you, so I could feel your body against mine." Placing his hand around to the back of her neck, so she could not back away from him, he whispered, "I have dreamed about you...have ached for you everyday since you left." He lightly kissed her just below her ear and pulled away. "Is that what you wanted to hear from me, lirimaer?"

'Oh, he is good!' she thought. 'The tales of his prowess with the ellethin must certainly be true!' He had her heart pounding and her body burning for him already, but there would be no giving in to him just yet. This could be most interesting. Not what she had originally intended, but interesting nonetheless.

"It was exactly what I wanted to hear, Melamin." Placing her hand on top of the one holding her neck, forcing her fingers between his, she felt his grip on her wane, just a bit. She pulled back slightly to kiss him fully on the mouth. She had wanted to feel his warm, full lips caress hers for so long and it was all she imagined it would be. They were soft and smooth and the taste of him made her crave so much more. Was this just a game to him?

When they pulled from one another, they both opened their eyes to see the same grey intensity staring back. Haldir could not help but lean to kiss her once more. The pretense was over, as far as he was concerned and the flavor of those sweet, sultry lips consumed his thoughts. However, just as he was nearing them, she put her fingers to his mouth and his eyes shot open.

"Haldir, you remember I am injured, do you not?"

"What I remember is that I have never yielded to a female before and I fully yield to you," he said honestly, as he touched his tongue to one of the fingers she held up to him. "Now, are you going to kiss me again, or will I have to beg?"

"I should make you beg, since you saw fit to tease me so often as a child. But since you are quite good, I will not." Removing her fingers, she leaned to him again. This kiss was certainly no game. It was not anything like the first. It had character, passion and elicited all those emotions she remembered feeling before she left Caras Galadhon. Those same emotions that were the reason she left. She knew something had changed between them when he held her so close while she was in pain. Had he done that all night?

"I have wanted this for so long," he whispered breathlessly, brushing light feathery kisses across her lips and jaw line moving slowly toward her ear. "If you were not hurt, I would take you, now!" He moved back to look at her reaction and to his delight he saw nothing but fire in her eyes.

"If I were not hurt, I would plead to be taken." She smoothed his hair behind his ear, her fingers lightly grazing its pointed tip. "And more than once." Then she heard a very faint, but distinct moan come from him.

"Lorinaura, what are we doing?"

"Complaints already, Hal?"

"Nay, cheeky elleth, I am only making sure of you," he said with a slight smirk.

"We are doing what we should have done over two millennia ago. I would never have gone to Rivendell had you kissed me with such passion, even once."

"You left because of me?" he questioned abruptly ending their game. "I never wanted you to leave."

"How was I to know?" she asked, still gazing into his eyes. "You said nothing to the contrary. If you had once come to me with the slightest hint of affection, without including the words little sister, I would have stayed. But, I could not stand by and watch as you took other she-elves to your bed. Swords and arrows do not compare to the wounds I suffered while living here."

He did not know what to say. He was at a loss for words very few times in his life. How could she not have left? It nearly tore him in half to watch her kiss Mendolir. He had wanted to disappear on that night and could only imagine the pain he would have felt if he saw any ellon leaving her house in the early morning hours. Gods, what had he done?

He blamed her all of these years. She went away with her lover, leaving him bruised and vulnerable. He thought of her often, yet still, he could not bring himself to express his desire for her. He did not tell her to stay, though, at the time, he wished for it every waking moment.

He lowered his eyes from her, speaking in a soft voice. "I saw you kiss Mendolir in the Lady's garden the evening after I won my first trials. I had been sitting in an alcove and saw the two of you enter. By the time I walked around the fountain, you were kissing him, so I made a quiet exit."

"Haldir, are you so sure that what you saw wasn't Mendolir kissing me?" Her hand found his cheek, again, and lifted his eyes back to hers. "He was always stealing kisses from me, until a few years after we arrived in Rivendell."

She smiled at the memory, which greatly intrigued him. "What happened there?"

Her smile broadened and she withdrew her hand and sat straight, stretching her arms above her head. "I am suddenly getting very tired, Haldir. Would you mind terribly if we continue all of this at another time. I would like to sleep for a while," she said, laying herself onto her pillow and then turning onto her side.

"Of course," he said simply, his question still burning in his mind. Nevertheless, his curiosity would have to wait for she did look weary and needed her rest. He would get all of his questions answered later because she was not going anywhere. On this, his mind was made up. If he could prevent it, she would not leave him again. Ever.

As he moved to get up from the bed, she caught his hand, squeezing slightly. "Hal, would you lay with me?" she asked, her eyes half shut, but nearly pleading and harboring an anxiety he did not seen there before. "I don't want the dreams to come back."

Without hesitation, he lifted the quilt covering her and laid down, his chest to her back, enveloping her as he had the night before. He loved the feel of her and made a very conscious effort not to caress her body, not to press against her; else, she would surely feel the manifestations of his desire for her. "Is that better?" he asked.

"No," she stated, and then scooted herself back against him, so tight to the length of his body that he could scarcely discern where he ended and she began. "But this is," she whispered lazily. She pulled his arm around her chest as if he were a warm blanket and grinned. "Do you know what I missed most when I first moved into this house?"

"What?" he asked, barely able to speak for the sheer bliss he felt.

"Your singing."

"My what?" he lifted his head slightly to look at her face and when she turned her head towards him, he saw she was absolutely sincere, then lay back down again. "When did you ever hear me sing? I do not sing in front of others."

Giggling softly she said, "Galadriel's home is very grand, Hal, but the halls are all but barren. When you would bathe, I used to open my bedroom door to listen to your voice echo through the corridor. It always filled me with such warmth." She knew he was blushing and it gave her great pleasure to know she could elicit such shyness from the acclaimed Marchwarden of the Golden Wood. The elf whose name was well renowned even in Imladris as being the greatest in battle and in bed. "Do you remember the song Galadriel used to sing to us before bed when we were small?"

"How could I forget?" his lips curving in reverence, as he remembered how it soothed all his cares away, for the night.

"Please sing it to me. I want to hear your voice as I drift to sleep."

Never had anyone asked him to sing. He never really gave his voice much thought as Rúmil was the one with the talent for singing and rhyme. Yet, here was this beguiling female, snuggled up so near to him that he could hardly contain himself, asking him to lull her to sleep. After taking a few moments to start to breathe properly, he began Galadriel's song.

Hush now my child, I'll hold you tonight,
And when you awake, there's no need to cry.

Yesterday's passed, but tomorrow comes.
Sleep now my little one, your day is done.

Hush now my child, there's nothing to fear,
For when you awake, I'll be right here.


He felt her grip on his hands relax, her breathing become even and knew she was sleeping. Tightening his arms around her, he closed his eyes reveling in the feel and smell of his one love.


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Lirimaer - Lovely one
Melamin - my love