Raising My Lover

Author: Lea Maxa (Lothiriel)

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but my own mind.

BETA: My Angel eowyn_maiden_of_the_rohirrim1980


Ch.4 What's Wrong with Orli

Sniffing up his tears he leaned down and ran his lips over Orlando's
knuckles while still whispering his gratitude and happiness, placing
a kiss on the top of Orlando's hand, Viggo let out a sigh before
resting his head beside Orlando, it was still an uncomfortable
position and he still didn't care but this time when he fell asleep
it was a peaceful rest.

~*~*~*~*~

Viggo let out a long sigh as he glanced up at the clock on the wall
of Orlando's hospital room. The doctor and nurses had taken Orlando
for testing almost two hours ago and he was anxious, every time he
heard a sound he would look to the door and each time it wasn't
Orlando. Viggo felt nearly as nerve wracked as the night of the
accident when he had been waiting for Orlando to come home and he
hadn't.

Viggo silently cursed himself for brining up the memory of the fear
he had felt that night; he hadn't known where Orlando was. He knew
where Orlando was now, he was alive, and he was with doctors being
tested he was safe. But Viggo was still as tense as a rubber band
stretched to its limits about to break. He wanted to see Orlando he
needed to see his lover.

~*~*~*~*~

Finally after what seems like an eternity an only semi-conscious and
very weary Orlando was wheeled back into his room and gently laid on
his bed.

Viggo watched as the nurses attended to him, though Viggo noticed
that Orlando made no sound what so ever, though he chalked that up to
everything he had been through.

Viggo stood up as Dr. Hill entered the room. "So what's the verdict
on his condition?"

Dr. Hill motioned for Viggo to stand and follow him. Viggo looked
over to Orlando who now lay sleeping Viggo gently kissed his
Orlando's forehead before leaving the room. Dr. Hill led Viggo into
his private office before he began speaking. "We've given him both a
CAT scan and a MRI as I said we would, these tests allow us to see
the damage that's occurred." As the doctor spoke he placed several x-
ray photos up onto a part of the wall which when you turned a switch
would light up the photo so you could see it. Viggo assumed the
photos were of Orlando's brain.

As the doctor began to speak he pointed to each area that he spoke
about at the time so that Viggo could understand as he went along.

"The first test we ran on Orlando was the CAT so we can see what
damage has been done and to what areas. Most of Orlando's damage is
his left hemisphere. I assume you've noticed by now that Orlando has
not yet spoken?"

The doctor looked at Viggo as he nodded his head in answer to his
question.

"His not speaking is not of his own will, he can't speak. In the
accident Orlando suffered severe damage to what is known as Broca's
Area, that is the frontal lobes of the left hemisphere, one of the
functions Broca's Area controls is speaking, when the area is damaged
it can cause aphasia, there are different forms of it some can write
but not read while others can read but not speak, sing but not speak.

Viggo looked dumbfounded, Orlando couldn't talk. "Can this be
repaired can he ever get his speech back?" Viggo interrupted the
doctor.

"Orlando may never be able to get his ability to speak back, but then
it is also not completely ruled out that with speech therapy that he
may learn to make basic sounds at least."

Viggo nodded his head sadly; he might never hear his lover's voice
again. Viggo heard the doctor begin speaking again after a few
moments and looked up to see what else the doctor had to say.

Orlando's also suffered damage to his long-term memory. Now there are
two different types of long term memory, you're explicit, and you're
implicit. Explicit memories are those with conscious recall, these
memories are usually personal experiences, things he was taught and
learned as a child such as telling time or reading. Implicit memory
is with out conscious recall, these are memories connected to your
motor and cognitive skills, learning to ride a bike, or to run for
example. Our scans show that there is damage to both, the extent of
the damage is not as great as that damage to his Broca's Area but he
will have some difficulties, how badly his memory has been impaired
will be seen when he his more coherent and we can see what he may or
may not remember that he did previously."

Viggo merely gawked at the doctor as he was told what damage his
lover had suffered in the car accident and what the damages effects
were. They still didn't know everything. Viggo thought, so there was
still more bad news to come. Viggo's shock was so severe that he
hadn't even realized he was crying until he felt the tears hit the
back of his hands where they rested on his legs.

"I also want to run a MRI to see what condition Orlando's back is in
after the accident, as he broke it once before. Now the good news is
that there was no real damage done directly to his spinal cord,
that's all still intact. The bad news is he still may not be able to
walk."

The doctor sensed Viggo about to interrupt him and held out his hand
to stop him before he spoke.

"The reason for this is although he did not suffer damage directly to
his spinal cord he did suffer damage to the nerve cells which carry
the information to his legs, its these nerves which enables a person
to walk."

"Is Orlando ever going to be able to walk again?"

"He may but it's going to take time, before he can begin to even try
and walk his nerve cells need to heal. Once they've healed we can
start physio therapy to help him regain his legs."

"How long do nerve cells take to heal?"

"That all depends on the person, their health prior to the accident,
their age, a lot of things determine how long it takes to heal some
people take years, and some people only a few months."

Everything Viggo was being told was like slap, Orlando couldn't walk,
couldn't talk, he couldn't even do the most basic of functions.

Head hung low in despair Viggo asked his questions not able to talk
much louder than a whisper.

"Is Orlando going to have to re-learn everything he was taught as a
child?"

"I honestly cannot say, there is no way of knowing just how far the
damage will have affected his

~*~*~*~*~

Visiting hours were close to being over, it was late. Viggo sat in
the chair next to Orlando's bedside, he continued to speak to his
lover, even if he did not respond it still offered some comfort to
Viggo.

"Your mom and sister will be here soon. They're so worried about you."

Viggo ran his fingers down the side of Orlando's face before going
back to play with an errant curl.

"Excuse me Sir. Visiting hours have ended. I'm sorry but you'll have
to leave, you can come back tomorrow if you wish."

"I know, I know there over. I'm saying good bye all right."
The nurse nodded and left the room leaving Viggo alone with his lover.

"I love you Orlando, I love you so much." Viggo kissed Orlando's
cheeks and lips before leaving the hospital. Orlando had come out of
his coma but he had yet to see him truly awake and it saddened Viggo
to no end, he had never felt so depressed in all his life.

~*~*~*~*~

When Viggo returned home he entered the house to find both Exene and
Henry sitting in his living room. When the pair saw him both
immediately went to him embracing him in their arms, not speaking,
but silently offering their love, support, and comfort. Several
minutes went by before any of them moved. Neither Exene nor Henry
asked any questions both of them knowing that when Viggo was ready he
would tell what he knew, and it was best to not push him into
telling, as they would only get yelled at. Slowly they were able to
lead Viggo over to the couch were they sat with him between them.
Viggo sat starring into space, he was still in shock and had not yet
allowed the true reality of Orlando's injuries to sink in, he didn't
want it to be true. He wanted it to all be a bad dream and he could
wake up with Orlando against him, his head pillowed on his chest like
he so often would do when he slept.

"He can't talk."

Viggo's voice was so soft that both had to strain to hear his voice
as he spoke.

"The doctor told me he may never talk again."

Exene and Henry each simultaneously took hold of one of Viggo's hands
and squeezed.

Viggo shuddered and slowly the rest of the nights horrors came out,
each sentence, more broken up by his tears,

Viggo's body was visibly shaking when he had finished and a small
puddle lay at his feet were his tears had collected.

Viggo felt as if he was going on emotional overload, every emotion
battling for dominance in his brain trying to tell him what he should
feel. All Viggo really knew was that he wanted to feel nothing. He
wanted to be alone, to cry and scream like a little girl with out his
family watching him feeling sorry for him.

"P…P…Please can…can yo…you guys leave…me…me…a…alone now…Please."

Without waiting for a response Viggo pulled his hands from those of
Henry and Exene and went into the bedroom.

Viggo stopped and stood in the doorway and he looked around the room.
Viggo had not stepped foot in their bedroom since Orlando had been in
the accident, he hadn't wanted to go in their bedroom, where all
their memories were. Memories of lazy mornings in each others arms,
hour long kissing sessions that lead to no where, the sounds of
Orlando as Viggo made love to him. The tears came faster now and
Viggo made no move to wipe them away. At some point Viggo realised
that he had somehow made it over to their bed, he couldn't remember
how he got there he didn't remember making the few steps to their
bedside. Gently he sat down on the bed, his hands caressing the
sheets. Viggo looked up to the night table that was next to the bed,
Orlando's numerous necklaces adorned the table top Viggo picked them
up and with something akin to reverence and looked at each and every
charm studied the groves and shape of every one on the necklace. Each
charm held a memory that was somehow attached to the two of them.
Most of the Charms were little souvenirs that Viggo had gotten
Orlando from different places they had been to. When Viggo at last
dropped his hand and just held the chain of charms, he felt
everything just at that point come to a peak in less than a week, his
lover had been in a serious car crash, had been in a coma, and come
out of it and yet Viggo had yet to be around him when he was actually
awake, he couldn't talk, he couldn't walk and there was still more
that he probably couldn't do. Viggo felt that he was reaching his
limit, he could take no more, he hurt so bad and there was no light
at the end of the tunnel. All of these thoughts hit Viggo at once as
he let his emotions out the only way he could at that time. He
screamed and cried for all he was worth, letting out days worth of
frustration, anger, and near devastation. It just wasn't fair, what
had he done so utterly unspeakably wrong to deserve this, the anger
he felt and the fact that there was no one to pin it on made it all
the harder, He wanted to be able to blame someone for his lover's
hurts.

"It's not fair!" Viggo shouted to the air

"It's not fucking fair!"

Finally when he was so hoarse that he voice had nearly quit working
Viggo laid back on their bed turning so he faced Orlando's side of
the bed he buried his face into Orlando's pillow sobbing out all of
the heartache he was feeling. And when he had no more tears Viggo
laid their, clutching Orlando's pillow to his chest as though it were
keeping him alive. Viggo never slept that night he couldn't for when
he did his dreams were marred with images that only made it hurt
worse, images of his beloved being buried, of the pain and fear he
must have felt in the accident of the loneliness he was feeling right
now. No Viggo could not sleep for those images were something he
could not deal with.

~*~*~*~*~

The shrill ringing of the phone startled Viggo, who when he looked at
the clock turned back away from the phone, whoever was calling him
and almost 4 in the morning could fuck off and go to hell.

"Viggo, its Sonja. Are you there?"

At hearing Sonja's voice Viggo immediately picked up the phone.

"I'm here Sonja." Viggo croaked into the phone. His voice and throat
were raw from his screaming tantrum he had had.

"Viggo what's wrong with your voice?" Sonja implored

"I've just had a rough night. Orli came out of his a coma." Viggo
spoke though he said no more.

"I'm glad to hear that." Sonja wanted to ask Viggo what more he knew
but held back at hearing that state that he was in.

Sonja could hear Viggo starting to cry in the background.

"It will all be okay in the long run Viggo I'm sure of it. Orlando is
a strong willed person not easily run down. I have faith and you
should too.

Viggo sniffled and wanted desperately to believe Sonja's words but he
just couldn't right now.

Sonja cursed unintelligibly to herself as she looked at her watch.

"Viggo I really hate to cut this so short, I actually called to tell
you that Sam and I will be boarding our plane shortly and we'll see
you soon, though I wish it was on happier terms."

"Oh god I nearly forgot thank you for calling me, I'll pick you up
when your plane lands, and yes I too wish this visit were on better
terms."

I have to go now we're boarding. Bye Viggo."

"Bye Sonja."

~*~*~*~*~


Looking at the clock it was just hitting 4:00 A.M., Sonja and Sam
would be here in about six hours.

Viggo continued to lie in bed for another hour before he willed
himself to get up and attempt to do something.

Two hours later Viggo had actually managed to accomplish quite a bit
considering what he had been though and was running on no sleep. He
had showered, dressed, eaten breakfast, and somehow even got the
house picked up for the girls.

Viggo glanced at his watch it was 7:00 A.M. and he still has about an
hour before he had to leave, but with nothing he wanted to do Viggo
gave up and decided to just leave now, sitting here would do no good
but only depress him. Maybe being out driving around would help him
he though.

~*~*~*~*~

Standing at the airport terminal watching for Sam and Sonja as all
the other passengers filtered through the doorway. Viggo stepped
closer when he saw the two women emerge looking around for him.

Viggo embraced both women as they greeted him with solemn faces and
hellos.

All three waited until they were in the car before any of them spoke
again.

"Do you want to go to see Orli first or stop by the house?"

"I want to see my son now." Viggo nodded and took the exit, which
would take them to the hospital.


TBC