An Infernal Love

Chapter 4

Mortensen Castle, November 12th 1798, Diary of Sir Viggo Mortensen


11p.m.

Had to change my plans and stay in the castle as the doctor starts to suspect that I intend to keep him here. I know I should get rid of him as soon as possible, preferably yesterday, but I am reluctant to let go of him. He has become precious to me in the few days he has been here. He is strong-willed and, except for the attempt to hide his fear from me, open-minded and honest as well. It has been long since I met a man who did not recoil from me at once.

Even Ian feared me right from the beginning. And fear made him an even better pupil though I do not understand what he has become – this thing is totally beyond my knowledge and understanding. I thought I knew all about the things I taught him, thought that it would be safe to teach him how to command the Moraki – those, who thirst in the ancient language of my kin – but this, this merging with them, I have to know how it happened, how it works, why he was able to survive it. David, he agreed to let me call him that even if he might not remember it anymore, said something about Ian being anaemic and showing signs of recent blood-loss, which is not uncommon for someone who commands the Moraki regularly, but it explains neither his unnatural strength nor his taste for red and bloody meat. And his other bodily changes also remain a mystery to me.

I cut off David’s explanations this morn because I knew that I would be unable to think clearly while he was near. He entrances me like no human I have ever met before. Ah, to feel him tremble against my chest but once! To feel him, feel his essence, to feel what he is! And yet I know that this cannot be. He is only human, though. He too needs somebody. Maybe. Perhaps?

I left him after breakfast and went out into the woods and on into the swamp that surround my castle on the eastern and northern side. Fortunately I was able to see that most of the things I have to take care of will get done in my absence. Everything seems to be going well, except for my strange attraction to a certain blond, which is even more unsettling since man usually delight me not. It has been too long since I met a man who dared to face me in spite of his fears, something David has done without even knowing who I am. Not even Ian was able to do that. I was tempted to reveal myself to David this afternoon but I know that it is better to keep my true identity from him as long as possible. I do not want him to fear me but he already does. At least to some extent. I hid outside his window as he sat in his room but he left abruptly, even ran out of the room in something akin to panic.

He must have gone into the library, for it was the only other room I had left unlocked – for his own safe-keeping – but I decided not to follow him there. I wonder if he felt my presence? Some people do. If he did, then he must be gifted though in what way I cannot say without testing him further. Maybe I will.

Does he suspect that I know that he keeps a journal? I have used his absence from his room to take his letters to his secretary from him. I do not want him to talk to outsiders, lest he gives them information about me or – whether consciously or not – gives any hints as to who I really am. It would not do to have the outside world know that I am here. Especially since I cannot leave before I know what to do with Ian. I cannot allow him to roam the world, that much is sure. And before I decide what to do with him I have to know how he came to be what he is now and how to prevent it from happening as well. For there are others who know the way of red as well. How could such a thing come to be with my help and without me understanding it?

I called on David again in the afternoon as soon as I had sorted out my thoughts and we spent it in the small hall, sitting in the comfortable chairs in front of the fireplace. The fire seemed to make him uneasy and I used the opportunity to invade his mind and take some memories from him. So many things were disturbing him and I fear that an echo of them might continue to linger in his mind. The wolves seemed to disturb him the most. I will have to make them stay a bit farther away from the castle but that should be no problem even though they seem to react to Ian’s presence somehow now that he has changed. It might prove quite difficult if he were to have some kind of influence on them.

I was very surprised that David knew the old saying which says that a red sun in the morning means that blood has been spilt over night. He blamed the wolves for that and he was right. I found traces of their nocturnal hunt in the swamp. I can only hope that the peasants in the near-by village will not become even more suspicious than they already are. They might rise against me, since most of them blame me for all bad things that happen to them anyway. If they only knew – only suspected – how right they are!

But any more complications would be difficult to deal with now. I have enough on my hands already. David was pleasant company once he had calmed down a bit. He asked me a lot of questions about the books on witchcraft and demonology I own. He did not seem too disturbed by them any more and was rather curious. Spell-weaving and the summoning of spirits interested him in particular. He is gifted – and interested. I am beginning to think that he would be an excellent if not outstanding pupil and yet I am reluctant to draw him deeper into this matter because I fear that something similar to what became of Ian might happen to him.

David was very quick in figuring out that I really am afraid of Ian on some level. What if the old man proves to be a danger to all of us? Not only for mankind but for my kin as well? I will keep him chained in his chamber and bring David to his again as soon as possible. Ian seems to grow stronger each day and I do not want him to frighten or intimidate David, who has quickly become more dear to me than he should have.

I could keep him if he were to become my pupil- but no, I should not think that way. It is too dangerous. My teachings might break him, would break his beliefs. And yet... I am torn. I do not know if I will be able to resist taking him on but on the other hand I cannot send him away because he has already seen to much and I need him to find out what Ian has become. No matter what I do, it can only be wrong. If only I could get out of this somehow! But it is too late already and the more time I spend with David, the more I fall for him.

The irony of it! That I of all people should fall in love! I! I never believed God to be that cruel! It cannot be part of his grand plan and if it is not, then he has erred again. He cannot have meant for me to fall for a doctor with blue-grey eyes, an admittedly rather large nose and that enchanting slightly crooked smile.

I called upon the Moraki to guard David’s sleep tonight. His mind was filled with images of Ian he had seen in his sleep. Should Ian be able to influence his dreams or is it merely the fact that he thinks about Ian’s illness a lot? The summoning of the Moraki was elating like always. Strangely I felt a short pain as I cut my wrist and let the first drops of blood spill. They came at once and like always they were thirsty for blood because the blood is what sustains them and enables them to linger in this world. They are weak spirits but useful nevertheless. I have never used them to guard or help someone and I can only hope that they will refrain from haunting David. But I promised them more of my blood if they were to carry out my orders to my satisfaction.

Tomorrow I will spend the day with David again and the heart of the form I have taken beats faster at that thought but for now I need to sleep. After all I am only human in this form.

Tbc...