Of Sands and Time

A soft noise woke Haldir from his sleep and he turned over to find the space beside him vacant. Just as he had suspected Legolas had gotten up sometime in the middle of the night. Carefully rising, Haldir tried not to rustle the soft sheets he had been sleeping under too much, so he wouldn’t wake his sons. There was no need for all of them to be up. He eyed the area surrounding the camp site, but found no trace of his husband. Strange.

Haldir started circling the site letting the circles grow wider in hope to eventually find Legolas. After a while he had nearly lost sight of their makeshift camp, when Haldir suddenly heard a loud cracking and stomping sound. Surprised at this he spun around and tried to find whatever was causing this racket in the darkness. Then he saw it. A large boar, a female one no doubt came trashing through the underbrush aiming right for the still sleeping twins. Bustling about a few feet behind her, Haldir saw some young boars. Oh no, had she felt disturbed by their presence? Female boars could really become nasty when they thought their young in danger.

Wanting to warn the twins Haldir cried out in alarm, but before his voice had reached the young elves, he saw a dark figure flinging himself before the boar. Silver knives flashed in the moonlight and with an unearthly roar the figure had slit the boars throat.

Amanhír and Thaurdae had sat up in shock and now found themselves eye to eye with the blind stare of the dead boar, whilst the frightened squeals of the young boars echoed through the night.


“Ada?” Thaurdae asked carefully, not wanting to believe what he had just witnessed.

Legolas stared down at his son, a mad glint in his eyes and his breath coming in strained, painful gasps.

Haldir, who had come charging into the small clearing, stopped dead a few feet away from his husband and stared down at the dead animal. The last time he had seen his husband in a frenzy like that had been in Middle earth when the orks attacked. But this was nothing more than an animal. Surely there could have been other ways to protect Amanhír and Thaurdae.

Suddenly Legolas lifted his head and glared at Haldir. “Why did you leave them? They could have been injured, or worse.” His voice left no room for tenderness and love. It only carried anger and mistrust.

“I…, I went looking for you.” Haldir tried to explain, still watching the small puddle of blood beneath the dead beast’s throat grow slowly bigger.

“Looking for me? Looking for me?” Legolas’ voice grew angrier with every word. “I can handle my safety myself, thank you. But Amanhír and Thaurdae would have needed you here.” He spat.

“Ada!” Amanhír exclaimed outraged. “I could have….”

“You could have? Could have what?” the blond elf hissed at his son. “You didn’t even wake up. That boar could have killed you and you wouldn’t have even noticed it!”

“Maybe it would have been better then. Saved you the trouble.” Amanhír mumbled under his breath.

Haldir couldn’t believe his own eyes and ears. “Amanhír, don’t say something like that.” He dropped to his knees beside his frustrated son. “We love you. We would have been devastated if something would have happened to you.”

“Yes, maybe you would have been,” Amanhír looked directly into Haldir’s face “but I am not too sure about him.”

“Right,” Legolas fumed “that did it. We are going home.” And he turned to his bedroll and started folding it together. The soft sounds of Thaurdae’s crying didn’t seem to reach his ears.


A strong hand on his shoulder stopped Legolas’ movements. “You will come with me now!” Haldir’s voice was bitter and furious.

“No, I am pack…..” Legolas never had the chance to finish his sentence.

“Now!” Haldir growled and squeezed harder.

Reluctantly the younger elf got up from his knees and stood. Haldir’s hand turned him around and away from the campsite and then pushed him forward. They walked for some minutes, until Haldir was sure that they were well out of earshot, then he stopped his husband and pushed him to the ground, quickly straddling his hips.

With Legolas securely pinned to the ground, Haldir lashed out at him “How dare you talk to our sons like that. What is going on in your head. What, by the grace of the Valar, is wrong with you. Have you lost all your common senses?”

“Get off me! You cannot do this to me.” Legolas spat.

“Oh yes, I can. It is time someone talked some sense into you. You are behaving like a madman. I hardly know you anymore.” Haldir had planted his hands tightly on Legolas shoulders thus preventing him from pushing up.

“So, are you tired of me again. Shall I leave you and wait for you to beg me to come back to you? If you can’t live with a ‘madman’, maybe it’s best if don’t have to.” Every single word of Legolas stung Haldir’s heart.

“If you would only listen to yourself. Maybe it is you who is tired of us. Of me and your sons.” Haldir choked out.

“Maybe I am.” Legolas said sullenly.

“What?” Haldir paled visibly.


Amanhír had his arms around his brother and rocked him gently to and fro. “Shh…, It’s alright. You know how Ada is sometimes. He gets this moody sometimes.”

“But he never used to be that bad.” Thaurdae mumbled against his brother’s shoulder tears still streaming down his face.

Amanhír had to struggle not to hate his father at this moment, but it was difficult. They had been so eager to take their fathers onto the hunting trip and Thaurdae had put so much work and enthusiasm into the preparation. Amanhír had known all along that his brother would be devastated if something would go wrong. He had never suspected, that it could go that wrong. And now his tender and caring brother was in tears for wanting to please his father and give him joy.

Mentally pulling himself together, Amanhír soothed Thaurdae and swore to himself that he would have a long talk with Legolas. It just couldn’t go on like this. He was still lost in thought when he suddenly felt something nudge his leg. Looking up in confusion, Amanhír saw one of the young boars curiously sniffing his leggings. They were too young to understand that their mother was dead and that this would most likely mean the end for them. A sudden idea struck him and he gently shook Thaurdae.

“Thaurdae, look.” Amanhír gestured carefully towards the tiny young boar. Immediately Thaurdae features lit up and the, for Thaurdae so typical, caring smile crept over his face. As if the fight with their father never happened, the older twin bent towards the small boar and held his hand out for it to sniff at.

Amanhír watched his brother in wonder, as usual astonished by his ability to obviously communicate with every animal there was. Sure enough, the young boar promptly nuzzled Thaurdae’s hand and soon its siblings joined him. Thaurdae slowly crawled on all fours away from the dead mother and soon had the whole lot of young boars around him.

Lifting his head, Thaurdae eyed his brother “We cannot leave them here.” He simply stated and Amanhír knew at once, that nothing on whole Aman would change his brother’s mind. The young boars would be taken to their home and be raised by Thaurdae.

The sound of skin slapping on skin echoed through the darkness. Legolas felt his cheek burn and eyes wide with sudden fear he stared up at Haldir.

Haldir’s hand was still raised in midair, tingling from the hard slap he had just planted on his husband’s face. Slowly the horror of what he had just done reached his still shocked mind and he jumped up in distress. “Elbereth, what have I done?” Haldir panted and stared at the blond elf still lying on the ground.

Wet trails glittered in the moonlight and silent sobs shook the slender elven frame.

As quickly as Haldir had gotten up form the ground, he dropped down again, this time beside his husband and quickly gathered him up in his arms. “I am sorry. I am so sorry. Please forgive me.” He whispered against Legolas’ face.

“I saw him coming.” Legolas suddenly whispered, his eyes focused on something only he could see. “I saw the sword. It was raised. It wanted to kill.” Legolas’ whispers were broken and interrupted by sobs wracking his body.

“Who?” Haldir asked carefully, confused by the empty look in his husband’s eyes.

“The orc. It was so huge. He wanted to kill my little ones.” The whispered words hardly reached Haldir’s ears.

With despair the silver haired elf held on to his husband and rocked him gently in his arms, whilst unnoticed to him his tears dropped down on to Legolas’ absent face mingling themselves with the ones cried by the young Mirkwood prince.


t.b.c