Voices In The Dark

Title: Voices In The Dark
Author: Nikkiling
Pairing: Legolas/OC, Legolas/? (coming soon)
Rating: NC-17 (Just in case)
Warning: NCS, Mentions/Memories of child abuse, Self-Harm, WIP
Summery: Thranduil sends one of his sons to Imladris, fearing that the stresses of constant battle against the encroaching darkness may be too much for the young prince. Little does anyone know the prince's true state of mind...
Disclaimer: This wonderful world belongs to Tolkien. I'm just borrowing the characters for a time and adding a few of my own.
Author's note: Reviews will be greatly appreciated. This is my first time, so please be gentle. Also, mental health tends to be a nebulous science in some aspects. Any inconsistencies will be attributed to the unknowns of elven physiology. Ha!
*This* denotes thought...or something to that effect.

Chapter Three: Meetings

Sentries had spotted the approaching riders descending the hills to the east, alerting Elrond to his guest's imminent arrival. He had been just finishing his trade discussions with an emissary from Mithlond when he received the news. They had been speaking for much of the day, and the excuse for a respite was welcome. Graciously Elrond excused himself with promises of more talks on the morrow, to which Master Saeldis amiably agreed. Yet he noted a question remained on the emissary's face upon rising from his seat.

"Visitors from Mirkwood, my Lord?" Saeldis asked as Elrond gathered his papers together. The contracts were then handed over to his chief advisor for further perusal. The elf lord looked up at the query, suddenly remembering something he had forgotten.

"Ah, I have been remiss. You once dwelled in Mirkwood, did you not?" He gestured the emissary to follow him as he walked down the corridor towards the open courtyard.

"Aye. I was employed as a tutor for King Thranduil's children for a time," Saeldis replied, adjusting his stride to keep up with the slightly taller elf-lord. "I left for Mithlond just after the great fire those many years ago."

"Hmmm...yes, the fire. I remember hearing of the event. It was fortuitous that although the damage was extensive, so few were injured and none perished.

"In any case, you would very well recognize our guest, Legolas Thranduilion. He comes to stay with us for a time."

"Legolas. I do know him. He was in my charge." Elrond glanced over to see Saeldis shake his head slowly. "A stubborn, willful elfling he was. Difficult. Always getting into trouble."

Elrond laughed. "The same could often be said of my own children. The bane of parents and instructors alike!"

Saeldis quirked a small smile, but did not join in the laughter. "Yes, I am certain all elflings play pranks and cause disturbances amongst their elders, but few with any malicious intent."

"Malicious intent?" Elrond looked back at the emissary with one dark eyebrow raised, not liking the sound of his words.

"You should know, Lord Elrond, that the great fire was merely the culmination of Prince Legolas’ deeds, although I tried very hard to temper his ways. You see, I was caught in that fire as well, and deemed lucky to escape alive. Although they say it was an accident, that the prince didn't mean to knock over the burning brazier and set the whole of King Thranduil's outbuildings ablaze, I can still remember the look in the prince's eyes just before the fire started." He paused momentarily, as if searching for the right words. "It was a look that spoke of death."

Elrond halted, his grey eyes wide with disbelief. "He was trying to kill you?"

"Whether it was directed at me or something else the prince saw in his disturbed mind, I cannot say. Only know that I believe him to be quite unstable, if not touched by the very evil that threatens us all."

Elrond turned away and began walking again. While he wasn't inclined to fully believe every word the former tutor spoke- terrible accidents such as the one this elf had obviously been through had a tendency to warp a creature's perception of reality - he still could not discount what he had heard and how it fit with what little he already knew.

"Then I thank you for your council," he said with a frown, wondering what he had just gotten himself into.

"Not at all," Saeldis replied solemnly, although Elrond missed the quick flash of a smile that crossed the emissary's lips. "I assure you I do not seek to discredit the prince, only provide a simple warning. Perhaps it was only an accident that caused the fire, and I was merely seeing things when I saw what I did. It is only, something about his manner once disturbed me."

Elrond glanced over sharply at that. It was the nearly the same thought he had confided to Glorfindel when the letter concerning Thranduil's initial request had arrived.

The rest of the walk continued in silence, each left to their own dark thoughts as they made their way down the halls. Once the stairs leading down to the courtyard had been reached Saeldis remained at the top step while Elrond descended to stand beside Glorfindel, who had also received word from the sentries of the riders arrival. The tall blonde Elda noted the crease marring Elrond's brow and looked at him askance, wondering what thoughts could be causing such a hard expression on his friend's face.

The dark haired lord merely shook his head at the silent question. "Later," he whispered, then turned his attention to their arriving guests.

The small group of Mirkwood elves approached the elaborately wrought gates standing open to grant them entrance, slowing their horses to a walk before entering the large courtyard. Legolas glanced around nervously, still surrounded by his guards. He hadn't been able to shake his misgivings, yet felt calmer all the same. The soothing presence of the trees had helped, even if they remained suspicious of his company.

He couldn't recall ever meeting the Lord of Imladris, although he had been assured he had during the elf Lord's previous visit to Mirkwood some twenty years before. It was just another gaping black hole in his mind that he had to struggle to fill with excuses and reassurances. Much of his past, particularly his childhood, was lost to him, although he had become quite adept at patching together pieces from the stories heard from others. In this way he was able to keep his lack of knowledge hidden and keep concerned elves off his trail.

He dismounted in one fluid motion, then pulled himself up straight, schooling his features into a familiar mask of assurance and fortitude. With a purposeful stride he approached the two lords waiting for him at the bottom of the stone steps. The dark haired one he assumed to be Lord Elrond himself. The taller elven lord wore soft grey and burgundy robes and carried himself with aura of leadership, much like Legolas’ own father, only more subdued.

The golden haired elf standing beside him was dressed in a calf-length, dark blue surcoat over a pale leather gambeson and black breeches. Legolas recognized him as Lord Glorfindel, the famous balrog slayer of Gondolin. He remembered meeting him once or twice before, albeit briefly. For some reason the handsome elf lord had stuck in the young archer's mind, although he couldn't say as to why.

Legolas bowed upon reaching the Lord of Imladris, followed closely by the rest of his guard.

"Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion," Lord Elrond spoke, watching the young elf carefully. He was unable to detect anything amiss, and if he hadn't spoken to Master Saeldis only moments before, would have thought his initial reaction all those years ago to be mistaken. Looking into the twilight blue eyes, he could only sense a touch of nervousness, but nothing any more unsettling.

"I hope your journey here was uneventful?"

"Yes, hîr nín," Legolas replied, rising to stand up straight. As he did so he caught a glimpse of someone standing in the shadows at the top of the steps, although he couldn't make out who the figure was from the angle at which he stood. A flash of dark gold was all he could discern.

Elrond noted the direction of the young prince's gaze, and remembered the other elf waiting above. "Master Saeldis, emissary of Mithlond, is also staying with us for a time. I am aware he was a former tutor of yours?"

Both Elrond and Glorfindel caught the slight frown that crossed Legolas’ features, and the brief flash of something akin to panic in his suddenly shifting eyes. Twilight blue shifting to a beautiful blue-green before becoming the color of ice. It was both disturbing and fascinating to watch.

Upon realizing the identity of the elf standing in the shadows, Legolas felt himself drowning in a sea of voices, most expressing panic and fear. One was shouting in anger, and he felt his hand clench uncontrollably. It was a distressingly familiar feeling, as if he was set adrift within his own body without a lifeline to the outside world. He panicked, struggling for control, but could not find the means to fight his way free of the overwhelming presences surrounding him.

Saeldis descended the steps until he stood before his former pupil.

"Mae govannen, Legolas," the elf spoke, his smooth voice calm, unaware of the struggle within the elf standing before him. "It has been a long time."

"Indeed it has, Master Saeldis," came the reply, although Legolas couldn't say where from, and he felt his body bow once again.

Glorfindel watched this exchange in confusion, particularly the young prince. He didn't understand the history between the two, and for a moment could literally feel the tension rising from Legolas before it suddenly disappeared beneath this cool exterior.

Elrond had sensed the tension as well, and although both seemed quite calm around the other, he decided it might be best to separate the two until a later time. He didn't trust either of them together at the moment, although he couldn't say as to why.

"You must be tired from your journey," he interjected before the conversation could go further. "Your horses will be seen to. Rooms have been made ready for you and your companions. Glorfindel?"

The golden elf lord nodded and drew the other elves away to direct them to their rooms, leaving Legolas, Elrond, and Saeldis alone in the courtyard.

"I must be returning to my own rooms," Saeldis said, bowing slightly. "I have much work to catch up on." The emissary turned and left, leaving the chaos residing within Legolas to breath a sigh of relief.

"Come Legolas." Elrond turned and began to walk inside. Legolas picked up his saddlebags and followed. Now that Master Saeldis had departed, he could feel his body returning to him, the other voices settling once more into the back of his mind. He couldn't understand what had just happened, but it wasn't an unfamiliar event. A similar experience tended to occur when he was fighting hard against invading bands of orcs on the borders of Mirkwood. Oftentimes his body seemed to be taken over by another spirit that fought with more ferocity than he even realized he possessed. He only prayed that it wasn't something born of evil. Not that he could safely tell anyone anyway. No one would understand. Yet he felt if it helped in his fight against the foul beasts, he wasn't about to complain. He despised orcs and their evil brethren with a hatred nearly unsurpassed by others. He didn't know from when this hatred came from, only that it born of fear.

Unfortunately he also feared that the presence of this uncontrollable spirit was what had caused him to be sent here to Imladris in the first place. One of his fellow scouts must have seen the fights where he let down his guard to invite the orcs closer, and noted the bandages on his arms covering wounds caused by his own blade. While a part of him was frightened over this self-destructive side, another part didn't care, wishing to free his soul of the pain and the nightmares of which he could find no cause other than something inherent in his own questionable nature.

Then there was the appearance of his old tutor, now acting as emissary for Mithlond. He hadn't seen the older elf in many years, not since the fire that had nearly killed them both. Everyone said it had been an accident, and he was inclined to believe them, yet he had no memory of the incident or why he was in that particular storehouse in the first place.

His few memories of Master Saeldis were of a strict teacher who worked hard to make his pupil learn what needed to be learned. And admittedly he was punished at times for acting out and being a nuisance, but it was for nothing that he felt he didn't deserve. The sudden explosion of fear seemed unwarranted, and he was now worried that the others had seen. He felt he was already under scrutiny from whatever his father had said in that message that was sent. He needed everyone to believe he was all right, that he might return to the relative safety of Mirkwood sooner.

"I don't know what my father told you in his letter," Legolas spoke up once they were traversing long corridors, "but I would just like to make it known that I do not believe him to be correct in his assumptions concerning the state of my health or my need of... respite."

"I understand," Elrond replied smoothly. He had expected Legolas to say something to that effect, and was already prepared. "Fathers always tend to worry when it comes to their children. Then let this instead be a chance to build friendships and forge alliances between the two kingdoms."

"I'm afraid they should have sent someone with a more diplomatic tongue and patient mind that I." Legolas’ voice remained calm, although Elrond could detect a hint of anger rising. "I am put to better use fighting alongside my men."

"Even an elven prince needs to take time away from the battle to gain a better view of the world around him."

"Not I," Legolas hissed, his irritation now plain. Elrond glanced over at the young prince, noting the anger in his features. Yet he also once again glimpsed something else before a smooth mask dropped over Legolas’ features, effectively hiding all emotions from view. Fear.

*For whom does he fear*, Elrond wondered, continuing to stride down the corridor. *His men, or himself?*

They finally reached what would be Legolas’ rooms for the duration of his stay. "These are yours. I hope you find them adequate. Dinner will be served soon, and I shall send someone to escort you to the dining hall. Until then."

"Hîr nín," Legolas bowed, then turned to enter his room while Elrond left down the corridor. He didn't know what to make of the elder, dark-haired elf, who seemed to radiate a sense of calm and dignity. His whole manner seemed to say, 'trust me,' yet Legolas was still disinclined to do so. Trust was never something he gave easily, especially to those he didn't know, however well intentioned. He would just have to wait, and watch.


Review Responses:

Karen: Thanks so much for the review, but I must say I'm sorry. I did think about Elladan and Elrohir for the part of later lover when my other choice was still considering. They could have a unique perspective concerning the prince's...condition. When asked, they did mull it over for a time, but they finally decided to yield to age and experience. I'm sorry. You'll have to take the matter up with them. But I'll admit, I love the twins as well, and threesomes are always so much fun! (grin)

louise_oblique: Thank you! I liked the idea of the eyes changing color too, although I'm trying to think of it as more of a tonal thing. (I actually once saw someone's eyes change from twilight blue to swimming hole aqua. Wow!)

Crookis: What a wonderful compliment! Thank you! My ego is now purring happily.
My first choices for pairings were actually either Elrond or Haldir. Yet I felt trying to introduce Haldir, not to mention clashing...personalities, was going to be difficult. And I needed Elrond to have a non-conflicted point of view. Erestor was briefly considered, but I was going to have a hard enough time playing with the characters I absolutely needed. While this may sound a bit funny later, I have a hard time dealing with multiple characters. Hmmm....
So that just leaves.... The Two Really Hot Elven Blacksmiths from ROTK!
(Oops! Wrong story. That's for later! (smirk))
I think you can see where this is going...

Jessia: I'm very glad you're enjoying this story. The pressure is building; I only hope I can keep up! (grin)