The Lesson of Dangle and Dance

Galadriel hurried quickly towards the center of the city hoping
beyond reason that everyone had overslept and that she would not run
into a soul before she reached her talan. The sun had already risen
enough to send streams of glittering brilliance to filter through the
giant Mallorn that canopied Lorien and like a beacon it called out
the rested inhabitants to greet the day. In any other circumstance
she would have been one of the many bathing within the warm rays, but
today only found its crystalline beauty an annoying hindrance.

Just ahead on the pathway a large group of females congregated,
giggling and no doubt sharing exaggerated stories of the past
evenings events. If she was going to get to Haldir before Celeborn
had a coronary she had to get past these pecking hens without delay.

Pulling her hair down over her face and hunching her shoulders in an
attempted disguise, the Elf Queen pushed forward through the boasting
elleths, not even daring to breathe. Spying a small opening,
Galadriel quickly squeezed through and had it not been for a severe
pinch to her backside would have been on her way quickly up the
pathway.

"Ayia!" she squeaked and whirled around coming face to face with one
of the bolder ladies of the court.
"What's your hurry March Warden?" she cooed, quickly separating a
wide-eyed Galadriel from the crowd.

" I ....Um have... to go....um..," stammered the Elf Queen
backpedaling her way right into a tree.
" I have an audience with the Lady Galadriel," she finally managed
pulling herself together in an attempt to look officially occupied.

'Ah....." murmured the treacherous she-elf trailing a finger down the
March Warden's bare chest and brushing it horridly close to the one
thing Galadriel wished would simply just calm the heck down.
" Do you always attend audiences half dressed lirimaer, she purred,
curling her pouty lips at the thought.

Galadriel swallowed hard and tried desperately to think of a snappy
reply that would send the little trollop packing, but managed only to
look sheepish and definitely unHaldir-like. Quickly she tried to put
herself in the March Warden's shoes and looking down at her feet
almost laughed out loud at the fact that she was indeed in his
footwear! Chase... and they will run...the words came almost
unbidden to her mind.

Pulling herself away from the tree, Galadriel narrowed her eyes and
put on a decidedly lavicious sneer. " On the contrary my dear." she
mocked leaning forward to whisper into the maids ear." There are
times when I wear nothing at all....."

The forward female stepped back and colored at the ribald remark,
giving Galadriel just the window of opportunity she needed. Without
another word she swaggered up the walkway leaving muffled giggles in
her wake. With a relieving exhale of breath and a mental note to
perhaps widen the paths in Lorien ,the Elf Queen waited until she had
put some distance between her and the March Warden's fanclub before
she broke into a run . Arriving at the talan she took the stairs two
at a time startling more than one chamber maid on the way. Perhaps
she should have reconsidered the tunic.

Haldir began to hop up and down when the fabric got caught over his
head. For over a quarter of an hour now he had tried to locate the
proper opening in the dress and after three unsucsessful attempts
forced his head through the nearest available hole. Yards and yards
of diaphinous silk bunched around his waist as he again twisted and
grunted to smooth the tangle into some semblance of order.

"Oh by the sea and stars!!!" Galadriel stood in the threshold of her
chamber unable to close her gaping mouth.

Haldir looked up at his visitor through a cascade of unruly pale hair
and upon seeing himself dropped the dress completely. The poor Elf
had chosen one of the most ornate gowns he could find and somehow
twisted himself so tight within the clinging satin sheath that he had
managed to put the garment on backwards. Now this would not in most
circumstances been too much of a problem but in this case of this
rather daring backless design it left absolutely NOTHING to the
imagination.

Quickly closing the door behind her lest some passing Elf get a
rather queenly eyeful, Galadriel leaned back on the door in abject
disbelief. In her long life she had seen just about everything, but
stand face to face with yourself was something she thought she could
have done without.

Haldir narrowed his eyes and reached for his sword and finding
nothing but a fistful of tulle stood ready to defend himself
against.........himself.

"Who are you? " he commanded, oblivious both to his state of undress
and the absurdity of the situation.

Galadriel, momentarily stunned, regained her rather fragile grasp of
reality and advanced on Haldir.

" I am you....and if you hadnt' noticed....YOU are ME!" The Elf
Queen stopped a mere breath away from the gowned March Warden and
looked him squarely in the eye.

" Then everything of mine is in your possession.....safe and sound?"
Haldir stepped back making a visual checklist. Galadriel put her
hands on her hips and allowed the Elf his inventory.

" Yes by Elbereths light," she muttered, " Though there are certain "
possessions" that are proving to try both my patience and my
endurance."

" And what of my husband.I do hope that the shock was not too much
for him?" Galadriel looked about the room for any sign of her regal
mate.

" Well dear Celeborn was certainly UP with the sun this morning, but
I have to say the sudden realisation that my sword was missing left
me less than an ideal bedmate" Haldir smirked as he recalled the
beating the poor Lord received for his passionate revele.

" Enough talk of your weaponry already..." blurted Galadriel as
Haldir continued to wax poetically of his displaced prowess."

" I don't know what has happened to us Haldir, but I do know that we
need to keep this to oursleves until we can reverse whatever it is
that put us in this predicamant. I will consult the mirror, perhaps the
truth lies there."

" I serously doubt anyone would beleive anyway,' moaned Haldir
scratching his chest absently.

Galadriel smacked his hand away and tryed to straighten the dress to
no avail. " You are just going to have to do your best..my Lady....."
she grumbled, " And for starters turn this dress around or you will
have more attention than you are ready for!"

Haldir looked down at his newly aquired body parts and smirked " I
kind of like it like this "he chuckled.

" That is not even funny" replied Galadriel turning to leave and
practically running headlong into a gawking Celeborn and his tray of
tea and pastries.


" Meleth....." squealed a very sappy overacted Haldir running to
throw his arms around the stunned Lord

Galadriel just shook her head and used the distaction to her
advantage. Poor Celeborn. The sooner this was fixed the better it
would be for EVERYONE!

TBC