Random Conversations [COMPLETE]
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,077
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,077
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Isn't He Pretty?
A/N: This is what happens when a would-be fanfic author goes slightly mental while trying to work on a challenge from a friend. Special thanks goes to Shana as this never would have come about had it not been for a late-night, sleep-deprived IM chat. Feedback appreciated.
The Disclaimer: None of the LotR characters belong to me. They belong to The Professor. Shana and Valkyrie belong to themselves. ALSO, any references made to other works of fan fiction are NOT meant to be malicious. I only make references to these stories and do not mention titles or specific authors that I do not know. These are simply stories that stick out in my mind and any references are made in all good fun and humor.
The Cast (this chapter): Aragorn, Bilbo, Celeborn, Elledan, Elrohirrondrond, Eomer, Erestor, Faramir, Figwit, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf, Glorfindel, Haldir, Legolas, Merry, Orophin, Pippin, Rumil, Sam, Rainien, Shana, Valkyrie
Let the insanity continue…
Rainien: *smiling* Hello Figwit!
Figwit: *smiling, somewhat shy* Hello, Rainien. So nice of you to include me in this.
Celeborn: Rainien, to rephrase my Marchwarden, just who is this?
Rainien: Figwit is something of a phenomenon. He’s a strictly-movie elf. He first appeared in the first movie, at the Council of Elrond. He didn’t have any speaking parts, but the fan reaction to him was so strong that PJ decided to give him a speaking part in the last movie. He was the elf who, while escorting Arwen to the Grey Havens, tried to keep her on the path when she decided to return to Rivendell.
Celeborn: But his name, Figwit, where does it come from?
Shana: I believe the fans named him. He was first seen just as Frodo announced that he would take the Ring to Mordor. The typical female reaction was, Frodo Is Grea-...Who HAT?HAT? Understand?
Glorfindel: But what is he doing HERE?
Rainien: *smiling at the pretty Figwit* Well, he’s become quite a favorite of the fanfic authors, especially the slash authors, which is understandable when you see how lovely he is.
Figwit: *blushes*
Valkyrie: *noticing the rather lustful gazes of the women, even Galadriel, as well as the blatantly hostile looks from Haldir and Legolas* Figwit, dear, perhaps you should sit on that very lovely patch of grass near Elrond’s feet. You two have been paired together often enough, I’d like to see how you actually look together.
Figwit: *walks gracefully and settles near Elrond’s feet* Hello, my Lord Elrond.
Elrond: *smiles and reaches out a hand to softly stroke his silky hair* Hello, Figwit.
Valkyrie: *sighs* Oh, that’s lovely.
Shana: *rolls her eyes* Rainien? Do we have to do through this?
Rainien: *grinning* You’ll live. If you don’t like it, don’t watch. They do look very nice together, though. That was a wonderful idea, Valkyrie.
Valkyrie: *dreamy look on her face* Yes, I think so too. *sighs again*
Erestor: Does this happen often?
Rainien: What?
Erestor: Do nonexistent elves often make their way into these stories?
Elrond: I would hardly call Figwit nonexistent since he is obviously right here for us all to see. *brushes a lock of Figwit's hair behind his ear, brushing the tip in the process*
Erestor: I see your point, my Lord. I will rephrase. Do UNKNOWN elves often make their way into these stories?
Shana: Often, but not always. And it’s not just “unknown elves” that show up. Humans show up as well.
Aragorn: Oh?
Valkyrie: *nodding* Mostly female characters, since Tolkien provided so few for authors to play with and since some authors, like Shana, prefer male/female pairings.
Eomer: What kinds of female characters are created?
Shana, Rainien and Valkyrie: *looking at each other and grinning* Mary Sue!
Faramir: *looking confused* Who is this Mary Sue?
Rainien: Mary Sue is a name given to stories where the female character bears striking similarities to the author, both in both looks and personality.
Eomer: Interesting.
Rainien: *putting on a sad face and giving her very best Scarlett O’Hara impression* Oh, my life here is justHORRHORRIBLE! Won’t someone help me? Why, oh why, can’t I go someplace like Middle Earth where some big, strong man…or elf…can make it all better for me??
Rumil and Orophin: *laugh hysterically, dropping their strings of Christmas lights*
Galadriel: MY LIGHTS!
Rumil: Sorry. *joining Orophin in picking up their lights and assuming their original positions*
Celeborn: You sound like you don’t like this Mary Sue person, Rainien.
Rainien: Quite the contrary. I enjoy them a great deal. Some of them make me laugh my head off at how these women manage to find themselves in Middle Earth, stumble across one of you, find love at first sight, and suddenly life is wonderful again with no more problems or worries.
Gandalf: What other methods to authors use to introduce other characters?
Valkyrie: Wood sprites.
Shana: Crossovers.
Haldir: Crossovers?
Shana: Taking characters or events from r str stories and combining them with characters or events from this world.
Rainien: And fairies.
Eomer: Fairies?
Rainien: *nodding* Pippin is part fairy in one.
Pippin: WHAT?!
Merry: So THAT’S why you’re always getting me into trouble!
Pippin: But I’m not a…
Merry: Where are your wings? I want to see! *tackles Pippin, trying to remove his jacket and shirt*
Frodo and Sam: *double over with laughter*
Pippin: *struggling to get away* Would you get off of me! I am NOT part fairy. *rolls his eyes* And Gandalf calls ME a fool.
Gandalf: *cracking Merry over the head with his staff* Behave yourself! And put that pipe away! You’ve obviously smoked enough for one day.
Merry: *gets off of Pippin, snuffs out his pipe and puts it away*
*strange, raised voices are heard approaching the garden*
Strange Voice 1: It was NOT my fault!
Strange Voice 2: Yes it WAS!
Strange Voice 1: How would you know? You weren’t the there.
Strange Voice 2: No, but I heard all about it, AND about what happened as a result!
Strange Voice 1: But I couldn’t help myself. You don’t know what it was like.
Strange Voice 2: You were told what you needed to do. But did you do it? Nooooo! You start off by doing what we all thought was not possible and then BLOW IT by not doing WHAT YOU WERE TOLD!!
Elrond: *standing* What the..? *seeing the ones approaching* Oh, Valar help me. *glances at the pretty Figwit then back at one of the new arrivals, mumbles* This should be interesting.
Glorfindel: Who is it, Elrond? *stands as well as the two enter the garden* Sweet Eru! They let you OUT?
TBC
A/N: Bonus points if you can figure out who the “strange voices” belong to before the next chapter (still unwritten, by the way) is posted. I’ll even give you a hint. Think Silmarillion. Also, I’m sorry this one was so short. Next chapter (which will probably be the last) promises to be longer.
The Disclaimer: None of the LotR characters belong to me. They belong to The Professor. Shana and Valkyrie belong to themselves. ALSO, any references made to other works of fan fiction are NOT meant to be malicious. I only make references to these stories and do not mention titles or specific authors that I do not know. These are simply stories that stick out in my mind and any references are made in all good fun and humor.
The Cast (this chapter): Aragorn, Bilbo, Celeborn, Elledan, Elrohirrondrond, Eomer, Erestor, Faramir, Figwit, Frodo, Galadriel, Gandalf, Glorfindel, Haldir, Legolas, Merry, Orophin, Pippin, Rumil, Sam, Rainien, Shana, Valkyrie
Let the insanity continue…
Rainien: *smiling* Hello Figwit!
Figwit: *smiling, somewhat shy* Hello, Rainien. So nice of you to include me in this.
Celeborn: Rainien, to rephrase my Marchwarden, just who is this?
Rainien: Figwit is something of a phenomenon. He’s a strictly-movie elf. He first appeared in the first movie, at the Council of Elrond. He didn’t have any speaking parts, but the fan reaction to him was so strong that PJ decided to give him a speaking part in the last movie. He was the elf who, while escorting Arwen to the Grey Havens, tried to keep her on the path when she decided to return to Rivendell.
Celeborn: But his name, Figwit, where does it come from?
Shana: I believe the fans named him. He was first seen just as Frodo announced that he would take the Ring to Mordor. The typical female reaction was, Frodo Is Grea-...Who HAT?HAT? Understand?
Glorfindel: But what is he doing HERE?
Rainien: *smiling at the pretty Figwit* Well, he’s become quite a favorite of the fanfic authors, especially the slash authors, which is understandable when you see how lovely he is.
Figwit: *blushes*
Valkyrie: *noticing the rather lustful gazes of the women, even Galadriel, as well as the blatantly hostile looks from Haldir and Legolas* Figwit, dear, perhaps you should sit on that very lovely patch of grass near Elrond’s feet. You two have been paired together often enough, I’d like to see how you actually look together.
Figwit: *walks gracefully and settles near Elrond’s feet* Hello, my Lord Elrond.
Elrond: *smiles and reaches out a hand to softly stroke his silky hair* Hello, Figwit.
Valkyrie: *sighs* Oh, that’s lovely.
Shana: *rolls her eyes* Rainien? Do we have to do through this?
Rainien: *grinning* You’ll live. If you don’t like it, don’t watch. They do look very nice together, though. That was a wonderful idea, Valkyrie.
Valkyrie: *dreamy look on her face* Yes, I think so too. *sighs again*
Erestor: Does this happen often?
Rainien: What?
Erestor: Do nonexistent elves often make their way into these stories?
Elrond: I would hardly call Figwit nonexistent since he is obviously right here for us all to see. *brushes a lock of Figwit's hair behind his ear, brushing the tip in the process*
Erestor: I see your point, my Lord. I will rephrase. Do UNKNOWN elves often make their way into these stories?
Shana: Often, but not always. And it’s not just “unknown elves” that show up. Humans show up as well.
Aragorn: Oh?
Valkyrie: *nodding* Mostly female characters, since Tolkien provided so few for authors to play with and since some authors, like Shana, prefer male/female pairings.
Eomer: What kinds of female characters are created?
Shana, Rainien and Valkyrie: *looking at each other and grinning* Mary Sue!
Faramir: *looking confused* Who is this Mary Sue?
Rainien: Mary Sue is a name given to stories where the female character bears striking similarities to the author, both in both looks and personality.
Eomer: Interesting.
Rainien: *putting on a sad face and giving her very best Scarlett O’Hara impression* Oh, my life here is justHORRHORRIBLE! Won’t someone help me? Why, oh why, can’t I go someplace like Middle Earth where some big, strong man…or elf…can make it all better for me??
Rumil and Orophin: *laugh hysterically, dropping their strings of Christmas lights*
Galadriel: MY LIGHTS!
Rumil: Sorry. *joining Orophin in picking up their lights and assuming their original positions*
Celeborn: You sound like you don’t like this Mary Sue person, Rainien.
Rainien: Quite the contrary. I enjoy them a great deal. Some of them make me laugh my head off at how these women manage to find themselves in Middle Earth, stumble across one of you, find love at first sight, and suddenly life is wonderful again with no more problems or worries.
Gandalf: What other methods to authors use to introduce other characters?
Valkyrie: Wood sprites.
Shana: Crossovers.
Haldir: Crossovers?
Shana: Taking characters or events from r str stories and combining them with characters or events from this world.
Rainien: And fairies.
Eomer: Fairies?
Rainien: *nodding* Pippin is part fairy in one.
Pippin: WHAT?!
Merry: So THAT’S why you’re always getting me into trouble!
Pippin: But I’m not a…
Merry: Where are your wings? I want to see! *tackles Pippin, trying to remove his jacket and shirt*
Frodo and Sam: *double over with laughter*
Pippin: *struggling to get away* Would you get off of me! I am NOT part fairy. *rolls his eyes* And Gandalf calls ME a fool.
Gandalf: *cracking Merry over the head with his staff* Behave yourself! And put that pipe away! You’ve obviously smoked enough for one day.
Merry: *gets off of Pippin, snuffs out his pipe and puts it away*
*strange, raised voices are heard approaching the garden*
Strange Voice 1: It was NOT my fault!
Strange Voice 2: Yes it WAS!
Strange Voice 1: How would you know? You weren’t the there.
Strange Voice 2: No, but I heard all about it, AND about what happened as a result!
Strange Voice 1: But I couldn’t help myself. You don’t know what it was like.
Strange Voice 2: You were told what you needed to do. But did you do it? Nooooo! You start off by doing what we all thought was not possible and then BLOW IT by not doing WHAT YOU WERE TOLD!!
Elrond: *standing* What the..? *seeing the ones approaching* Oh, Valar help me. *glances at the pretty Figwit then back at one of the new arrivals, mumbles* This should be interesting.
Glorfindel: Who is it, Elrond? *stands as well as the two enter the garden* Sweet Eru! They let you OUT?
TBC
A/N: Bonus points if you can figure out who the “strange voices” belong to before the next chapter (still unwritten, by the way) is posted. I’ll even give you a hint. Think Silmarillion. Also, I’m sorry this one was so short. Next chapter (which will probably be the last) promises to be longer.