The Music in My Heart
folder
Lord of the Rings Movies › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
75
Views:
3,789
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
75
Views:
3,789
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 37 Love is...
Title: The Music in My Heart, Chapter 37 betaed
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, Glorfindel/Haldir, Elladan/OFC, Elrohir/Legolas, others implied
Rating: R (to be safe)
Warning: AU (Story set 770 years after ROTK); Slash and het.
Feedback: This is my first fanfic, so constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: AFF.net; Fanfiction.net
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Alex Cat for her help in betaing this fic. Thanks also to Lady Victoria for her comments and support.
Disclaimer: Any of the residents of Middle-earth and Aman that you recognize belong to Prof. Tolkien’s estate. The same is true about Middle-earth and Aman. I’m only visiting and admiring the “views”.
Summary: Sauron may be gone, but his legacy of evil still lingers. As Middle-earth faces the threat of another dark lord, a party of elves departs Aman on a mission for the Valar, a mission of mercy long delayed.
Chapter 37 --- Love is…
“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war;
love is a growing up.”
James Baldwin
**
“Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig
and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine-gun.”
Matt Groening
***
Elrond found Seere sitting in the window seat of a small study near the second floor guest quarters. From her body language, he quickly realized she was depressed, that something was bothering her greatly. She was turned away from the door with the top of her head leaning against the windowpane, curled into a tight ball. At his entry, she made no move to greet him or acknowledge his presence in the dark room.
“Seere? Meleth nin, what is wrong that you are sitting here alone in the dark?” Elrond asked in a gentle, soothing tone. Getting no answer, he stepped closer to her and reached out to place his hand on her shoulder in a gesture of comfort. (My love)
He was shocked and hurt when she hunched her shoulders to avoid his hand. The light from the hall created glare against the window, effectively turning it into a mirror. Looking at her reflection, he could see a tear trace its way down her cheek. Now deeply worried, he sat by her feet and tried to take her hands in his only to have her pull hers away. Seere shifted to the side and curled more tightly into the corner of the small space as her curtain of hair swept forward to cover her face.
“Will you not tell me what is troubling you so? I would help if I knew the cause of your pain.” Still receiving no response, he tried again. “I have been looking for you all day so that we could discuss going to talk to your Adar about us.”
A flat, empty voice responded. “There is no ‘us’ to discuss, my lord. That became very clear last evening.”
Shock overran his mind. “What do you mean there is no ‘us’? Last night? I fully admit that I owed you an apology for taking my frustration out on you, but you cannot think I no longer love you over that? I am sorry I hurt your feelings. Please let us put this matter behind us and go to your father for his blessings.”
“Tis not my father you need to address. I suggest you find Lomelinde’s father and seek his blessings.” With that, she let her head drop to her knees and her shoulders began to shake betraying her silent tears.
“Lomel…?” /Valar help me! What does she know of my encounter with Lomelinde last evening?/
Feeling ashamed of his conduct, Elrond let his head drop unable to look upon the young elleth he had hurt though his betrayal. “I … there is nothing I can say… I am so sorry, pen vuil! I did not plan to kiss her and I deeply regret doing so. I was frustrated and had drunk too much… but there is nothing I can say to excuse my behavior.” (dear one)
Sighing, he looked up to see if she was listening, knowing she had every right to be hurt and angry with him. “I did not seek her company last night nor do I desire her. It went no further than a kiss, Seere, but that does not justify my actions or my betrayal of your trust. I can only hope you will accept my apology and let me have another chance to redeem your trust.”
“You do not need to justify yourself to me, my lord. We have no formal commitment that binds you. I would ask, however, that you show me the courtesy of being honest with me if nothing else. I may be innocent, but I am not stupid or that naïve,” came the whispered response.
“Stop calling me that! I have been honest with you! I have not denied my behavior was wrong and I fully accept that you are hurt, angry over this as you have the right to be, but do not add lying to my list of offenses,” Elrond asserted.
“I add nothing, my lord. I have seen with my own eyes that the facts were not as you present them. As for my trust, I gave you my trust once and had it shattered. It would seem from your attitude and your conduct last night your interest in me is no different than Ermehtar’s was.” A shudder racked her frame as she uttered the last.
“You would compare my kissing Lomelinde to Ermehtar’s attempt to rape you? I seem to recall I stopped my attentions to you when you bid me to do so,” Elrond exclaimed, feeling his own anger grow.
“You told me I screamed my inner thoughts when I was distressed that night when… Do you not realize you were doing likewise last evening or did you think this immature, virgin elfling that the Valar must have been warning you was a mistake would not be able to hear them?” Lifting her head, she met his eyes before continuing. “You cared only with your desire to have me in your bed and only seemed concerned over Ada’s reaction… what an insult it would be to him to bed his virgin daughter. Had I not been a virgin or had I been Celebrian and willing to let my husband into my rooms… You did not stop for me, but to prevent a scandal.”
“As for your only kissing Lomelinde, your continued lie only adds insult to the injury. Have no fear, my lord. I sure she will be available to offer you what you need and all the… comfort you value so dearly yet again.” Jumping to her feet, she ran from the room before he could think of a reply.
***
Seere ran blindly out of the study wanting only to reach the sanctuary of her rooms. In her haste, she failed to notice the frowning elf lord hovering near the door.
Celeborn stood for several minutes looking down the hall in the direction the distraught elleth had disappeared. When Elrond did not exit the room after several minutes, he sighed and retreated to his own rooms to consider what, if anything, he should do to help undo the damage that had been wrought to their budding relationship.
Settling into a chair by his bed, Celeborn sought the mind of the one that was his other half. *Melme? Are you awake… can you hear me? I need your counsel, ind nîn.* (love) (my heart)
*I am here, melamine. I can feel your distress. What has happened?* (beloved)
*Tis Seere and Elrond. They have been keeping their emerging bond a secret and meeting on her balcony before bed each night. It would seem matters became heated last night and Elrond let his frustration get the better of him. Seere was able to read his thoughts and was hurt by them. His mental barriers were so low I was also able to hear some of them from where I was sitting in the gardens. They were childish and most unlike Elrond. He still feels the failure of his marriage and Celebrian’s rejection keenly.*
*Is this all, my husband?*
*Nay, it is not. To make matters worse, he obviously had several drinks upon returning to his room before going for a walk in the gardens. An elleth from the kitchen, one who is always looking for a way to improve her situation, made an aggressive play for his attentions. Foolishly, he succumbed and kissed her in full view of many including Seere.*
*Nay, he did not! Who else saw this lapse?*
*Myself and Erestor. Our friend had just entered the garden to join me for a glass of miruvor and was treated to the show. He was taken aback as I suspect he knows more of Elrond’s relationship with Seere than he will discuss.*
*That will be difficult to overcome should they salvage their bond and seek his approval. Did Elrond bed this elleth?*
*I would think not given the rude rebuff he gave her when she did not take no for an answer. This was after he broke the embrace and apologized for his behavior. Seere does not share this belief for some reason and called Elrond a liar for his continued claim that it had ended there.*
*That seems unlike Seere… and we both know Elrond does not lie, especially to one he loves. There must be more to this than you yet know. Did it seem she had reason to think he lied?*
*Nay, not that I could see by his actions last night or from what I heard of their conversation tonight.*
*Humm? Tell me more of the thoughts you heard from Elrond. Also, tell me…*
***
Seere lay curled up in a ball of misery on her bed. Her attempt to find a few minutes of peace enjoying the cool of the early fall evening had only added to her pain. /He must know I can hear! Why does he think me such a fool as to behave so and then try to convince me to trust him?/
Pulling her pillow more closely over her ears, she gave into the grief that had been consuming her heart for the last two weeks since she learned of Elrond’s betrayal. Her nights had been plagued by vivid dreams and visions during the few hours she managed to sleep. She felt tattered and alone, for she had no one to turn to for advice.
/No one knew what was happening between Elrond and me. How can I ask anyone for advice when they can not know what transpired?/
Wishing she had thought to close the balcony door behind her, she pulled the pillow a little tighter to her ear and let her tears fall. /Why does he torture me so?/
***
Elrond walked slowly toward his rooms having decided to attempt to go to sleep early. /I have had far too little sleep of late. My thoughts keep me awake reliving the mess I have made of my life, of Seere’s life. Why should I expect her to trust me when she heard those childish thoughts and saw me kiss another?/
Sighing, he opened the door to the corridor to the family quarters. /I should not expect it. I know I behaved badly, but I have been not lying to her as she thinks. Why does she think… nay, why should she believe me? Betrayal is the same as a lie./
Lost in thought, he did not at first notice his friend standing at the end of the hallway outside of Seere’s rooms. Before he could speak, Celeborn raised his hand to halt his words. Gesturing for him to remain silent, Celeborn tapped lightly on Seere’s door. It was several minutes before the she opened the door, her eyes red and swollen from crying. She was clearly surprised by Celeborn’s visit.
Seeing Elrond with him, she tried to shut the door, but was stopped by Celeborn. Reaching over, he pulled her into his arms for quick hug. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, asking her to trust him before taking her hand to pull her with him to the door of Elrond’s chambers. Again, he motioned for them to be quiet as he threw open the chamber door and stepped into the room.
***
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, Glorfindel/Haldir, Elladan/OFC, Elrohir/Legolas, others implied
Rating: R (to be safe)
Warning: AU (Story set 770 years after ROTK); Slash and het.
Feedback: This is my first fanfic, so constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: AFF.net; Fanfiction.net
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Alex Cat for her help in betaing this fic. Thanks also to Lady Victoria for her comments and support.
Disclaimer: Any of the residents of Middle-earth and Aman that you recognize belong to Prof. Tolkien’s estate. The same is true about Middle-earth and Aman. I’m only visiting and admiring the “views”.
Summary: Sauron may be gone, but his legacy of evil still lingers. As Middle-earth faces the threat of another dark lord, a party of elves departs Aman on a mission for the Valar, a mission of mercy long delayed.
Chapter 37 --- Love is…
“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war;
love is a growing up.”
James Baldwin
**
“Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig
and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine-gun.”
Matt Groening
***
Elrond found Seere sitting in the window seat of a small study near the second floor guest quarters. From her body language, he quickly realized she was depressed, that something was bothering her greatly. She was turned away from the door with the top of her head leaning against the windowpane, curled into a tight ball. At his entry, she made no move to greet him or acknowledge his presence in the dark room.
“Seere? Meleth nin, what is wrong that you are sitting here alone in the dark?” Elrond asked in a gentle, soothing tone. Getting no answer, he stepped closer to her and reached out to place his hand on her shoulder in a gesture of comfort. (My love)
He was shocked and hurt when she hunched her shoulders to avoid his hand. The light from the hall created glare against the window, effectively turning it into a mirror. Looking at her reflection, he could see a tear trace its way down her cheek. Now deeply worried, he sat by her feet and tried to take her hands in his only to have her pull hers away. Seere shifted to the side and curled more tightly into the corner of the small space as her curtain of hair swept forward to cover her face.
“Will you not tell me what is troubling you so? I would help if I knew the cause of your pain.” Still receiving no response, he tried again. “I have been looking for you all day so that we could discuss going to talk to your Adar about us.”
A flat, empty voice responded. “There is no ‘us’ to discuss, my lord. That became very clear last evening.”
Shock overran his mind. “What do you mean there is no ‘us’? Last night? I fully admit that I owed you an apology for taking my frustration out on you, but you cannot think I no longer love you over that? I am sorry I hurt your feelings. Please let us put this matter behind us and go to your father for his blessings.”
“Tis not my father you need to address. I suggest you find Lomelinde’s father and seek his blessings.” With that, she let her head drop to her knees and her shoulders began to shake betraying her silent tears.
“Lomel…?” /Valar help me! What does she know of my encounter with Lomelinde last evening?/
Feeling ashamed of his conduct, Elrond let his head drop unable to look upon the young elleth he had hurt though his betrayal. “I … there is nothing I can say… I am so sorry, pen vuil! I did not plan to kiss her and I deeply regret doing so. I was frustrated and had drunk too much… but there is nothing I can say to excuse my behavior.” (dear one)
Sighing, he looked up to see if she was listening, knowing she had every right to be hurt and angry with him. “I did not seek her company last night nor do I desire her. It went no further than a kiss, Seere, but that does not justify my actions or my betrayal of your trust. I can only hope you will accept my apology and let me have another chance to redeem your trust.”
“You do not need to justify yourself to me, my lord. We have no formal commitment that binds you. I would ask, however, that you show me the courtesy of being honest with me if nothing else. I may be innocent, but I am not stupid or that naïve,” came the whispered response.
“Stop calling me that! I have been honest with you! I have not denied my behavior was wrong and I fully accept that you are hurt, angry over this as you have the right to be, but do not add lying to my list of offenses,” Elrond asserted.
“I add nothing, my lord. I have seen with my own eyes that the facts were not as you present them. As for my trust, I gave you my trust once and had it shattered. It would seem from your attitude and your conduct last night your interest in me is no different than Ermehtar’s was.” A shudder racked her frame as she uttered the last.
“You would compare my kissing Lomelinde to Ermehtar’s attempt to rape you? I seem to recall I stopped my attentions to you when you bid me to do so,” Elrond exclaimed, feeling his own anger grow.
“You told me I screamed my inner thoughts when I was distressed that night when… Do you not realize you were doing likewise last evening or did you think this immature, virgin elfling that the Valar must have been warning you was a mistake would not be able to hear them?” Lifting her head, she met his eyes before continuing. “You cared only with your desire to have me in your bed and only seemed concerned over Ada’s reaction… what an insult it would be to him to bed his virgin daughter. Had I not been a virgin or had I been Celebrian and willing to let my husband into my rooms… You did not stop for me, but to prevent a scandal.”
“As for your only kissing Lomelinde, your continued lie only adds insult to the injury. Have no fear, my lord. I sure she will be available to offer you what you need and all the… comfort you value so dearly yet again.” Jumping to her feet, she ran from the room before he could think of a reply.
***
Seere ran blindly out of the study wanting only to reach the sanctuary of her rooms. In her haste, she failed to notice the frowning elf lord hovering near the door.
Celeborn stood for several minutes looking down the hall in the direction the distraught elleth had disappeared. When Elrond did not exit the room after several minutes, he sighed and retreated to his own rooms to consider what, if anything, he should do to help undo the damage that had been wrought to their budding relationship.
Settling into a chair by his bed, Celeborn sought the mind of the one that was his other half. *Melme? Are you awake… can you hear me? I need your counsel, ind nîn.* (love) (my heart)
*I am here, melamine. I can feel your distress. What has happened?* (beloved)
*Tis Seere and Elrond. They have been keeping their emerging bond a secret and meeting on her balcony before bed each night. It would seem matters became heated last night and Elrond let his frustration get the better of him. Seere was able to read his thoughts and was hurt by them. His mental barriers were so low I was also able to hear some of them from where I was sitting in the gardens. They were childish and most unlike Elrond. He still feels the failure of his marriage and Celebrian’s rejection keenly.*
*Is this all, my husband?*
*Nay, it is not. To make matters worse, he obviously had several drinks upon returning to his room before going for a walk in the gardens. An elleth from the kitchen, one who is always looking for a way to improve her situation, made an aggressive play for his attentions. Foolishly, he succumbed and kissed her in full view of many including Seere.*
*Nay, he did not! Who else saw this lapse?*
*Myself and Erestor. Our friend had just entered the garden to join me for a glass of miruvor and was treated to the show. He was taken aback as I suspect he knows more of Elrond’s relationship with Seere than he will discuss.*
*That will be difficult to overcome should they salvage their bond and seek his approval. Did Elrond bed this elleth?*
*I would think not given the rude rebuff he gave her when she did not take no for an answer. This was after he broke the embrace and apologized for his behavior. Seere does not share this belief for some reason and called Elrond a liar for his continued claim that it had ended there.*
*That seems unlike Seere… and we both know Elrond does not lie, especially to one he loves. There must be more to this than you yet know. Did it seem she had reason to think he lied?*
*Nay, not that I could see by his actions last night or from what I heard of their conversation tonight.*
*Humm? Tell me more of the thoughts you heard from Elrond. Also, tell me…*
***
Seere lay curled up in a ball of misery on her bed. Her attempt to find a few minutes of peace enjoying the cool of the early fall evening had only added to her pain. /He must know I can hear! Why does he think me such a fool as to behave so and then try to convince me to trust him?/
Pulling her pillow more closely over her ears, she gave into the grief that had been consuming her heart for the last two weeks since she learned of Elrond’s betrayal. Her nights had been plagued by vivid dreams and visions during the few hours she managed to sleep. She felt tattered and alone, for she had no one to turn to for advice.
/No one knew what was happening between Elrond and me. How can I ask anyone for advice when they can not know what transpired?/
Wishing she had thought to close the balcony door behind her, she pulled the pillow a little tighter to her ear and let her tears fall. /Why does he torture me so?/
***
Elrond walked slowly toward his rooms having decided to attempt to go to sleep early. /I have had far too little sleep of late. My thoughts keep me awake reliving the mess I have made of my life, of Seere’s life. Why should I expect her to trust me when she heard those childish thoughts and saw me kiss another?/
Sighing, he opened the door to the corridor to the family quarters. /I should not expect it. I know I behaved badly, but I have been not lying to her as she thinks. Why does she think… nay, why should she believe me? Betrayal is the same as a lie./
Lost in thought, he did not at first notice his friend standing at the end of the hallway outside of Seere’s rooms. Before he could speak, Celeborn raised his hand to halt his words. Gesturing for him to remain silent, Celeborn tapped lightly on Seere’s door. It was several minutes before the she opened the door, her eyes red and swollen from crying. She was clearly surprised by Celeborn’s visit.
Seeing Elrond with him, she tried to shut the door, but was stopped by Celeborn. Reaching over, he pulled her into his arms for quick hug. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, asking her to trust him before taking her hand to pull her with him to the door of Elrond’s chambers. Again, he motioned for them to be quiet as he threw open the chamber door and stepped into the room.
***