Mary Goes to Mirkwood

Mary Goes to Mirkwood

Chapter 36/36

~Special Edition~

Our Last Chapter

Authors: Mary A, Malinorne and Sheraiah

Special contributor: Zhie

Disclaimer: Just playing with Tolkien's characters for fun, not profit. Thaladir is our own creation.

Warning: Adult sexual situations/more naughty desk behavior/misdemeanor breaking and entering

Summary: After saying goodbye to Sheraiah, Mary and Mal learn about an interesting invitation.

~*~*~*~*~

Author's note: We hope you have enjoyed our humble efforts and look forward to sharing our new adventures with you in the near future!

Love from Mary, Mal, and Sheraiah


~*~*~*~*~

~ Mal ~

Thaladir had really scared me with his uncharacteristically violent outburst in the throne room, and I didn't feel very confident at all when the king told me to take care of his enraged seneschal. But I quickly decided that if Thranduil said I could handle the situation, then it must be true. He wouldn't put any of us in circumstances that might prove harmful to mind or body.

As I led the way through the long corridors of the cavernous palace to where my was was located, I thought of what I was going to do next. The seneschal followed meekly beside me, but his steps were slow and hesitant, and there was an air of exhaustion about him. He looked like he most of all needed a big hug, but as the reason for his distress had something to do with scandalous behaviour, I felt that might be too bold an action at the moment.

I tried hard to conceal the nervousness that grew stronger the closer we came to my room. The only poetry book I knew of was in the study, and the fact that Thaladir probably had lots of them in his own quarters didn't help now. Anarion, my faithful door guard, could be sent to fetch it, but what should I do in the meantime?

I bade the seneschal recline on the cushions in my cosy corner with the beech murals, quickly averting his hesitation by seating myself in one of my chairs. He obviously thought that was a safe distance, as he lowered his body to the soft surface, stretched out his long legs and closed his eyes. It seemed that this simple action alone had a calming effect, as the tension wrinkles on his forehead became smoother.

For several minutes I just sat there, watching him relax, and not knowing what to do next. My head was totally devoid of Elvish poems, and I was just waiting for him to rise and leave because I couldn't fulfil the promise. But before he could do that, I got the idea to sing the little song I had read so many times, the one to the queen of the Valar. "A Elbereth Gilthoniel, silivren penna mírie..." [Oh Elbereth, Star-kindler, shining white like a jewel...]

It felt odd to sing to a goddess of the elves, I would have been more comfortable with turning to Eru, but as she was their light and main protector in times of need, it still seemed right. And Thaladir didn't complain. As I repeated the simple words of the song, over and over again, he appeared to sink deeper into a state of peacefulness, almost as if he was falling asleep.

Then I could no longer resist the impulse to join him, and still humming I walked the few steps to where he was resting. He didn't stir when I sat down beside him, and only acknowledged my stroking his hair from his forehead with an involuntary twitching of an eyelid. Slowly I lay down beside him, moved very close and rested an arm on his chest. That resulted in a deep, contented sigh, and I felt that my mission was completed.

And perhaps, when the seneschal woke up, he would be in the mood for a little unseemliness, seeing that we were conveniently situated in a very not public place.


~*~*~*~*~

~ Sheraiah ~

As soon as my bedchamber door shut behind us after our hasty retreat from the study, Legolas turned to me, his eyes still wide with disbelief.

"I cannot believe that you just did that!" he exclaimed, shaking his head.

"I can't believe that I let you talk me into having sex on your father's desk," I retorted. "Never again, Legolas. I don't care to get walked in on. The only ones who would have been worse than Thaladir would be your father or Gimli. From now on there must be a door that LOCKS before I agree to doing the wild thing with you."

"Or other provisions for privacy," he agreed quietly, flopping down on my bed and covering his eyes with his arm. "Travel begins to sound like a good idea again."

"Chocolate sounds like a good idea to me," I stated flatly, "but since I didn't think to bring any with me, jelly beans will have to do." I snagged my remaining bag of the candy out of my luggage and opened it, fishing out a cappuccino flavored bean and popping it in my mouth before dropping onto the bed next to the prince. He rolled onto his side and regarded me.

"Rai, you know you should not eat those things while you are upset. You will make yourself ill."

"At this point, Legolas, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion. The pancakes and then the little scene in the study are a guarantee that I'm going to have trouble today. A couple of jelly beans aren't going to make one damn bit of difference." I popped another one into my mouth.

"Rai," he said, "If you are going to go to Dale with Gimli and me, you will need to stay healthy."

"Wait a minute, when did this come up?"

"I have been considering it since Mary said that Gimli's father was not in good health, but it sounds even better to me now," he admitted with a sheepish grin. He continued, his expression turning serious, "Sheraiah, I have enjoyed seeing my home through your eyes. I thought it would be equally enjoyable to see the rest of Arda through them as well. Besides," a wheedling look appeared on his face, "Imagine how much more vivid and detailed your stories would become if you had seen the places they are set in."

"Twist my arm why don't you, horny elf! You know that I can't turn that one down." I shot him an amused look. "Okay, you win this one. When do we leave?"

"In the morning. There wbe abe a feast tonight, of course," he replied with a shrug.

"Are you going to talk to Thaladir before we leave?" I asked him.

"Yes, will you?"

"Yes. I have a few things I want to clear up with him," I said firmly, heading to the bathing chamber to start getting ready.


~*~*~*~*~

~ Mal ~

The recuperating abilities of elves are amazing. It felt like only minutes had passed when the seneschal lifted my hand from his chest. He sat up, still holding it, and placed a kiss on my fingers.

"I thank you for your consideration for an old elf, my lady, and for providing efficient treatment for my ailing mind. My humble assistance is ever at your service, should you require it."

There was something in the way his lips remained on my fingers slightly longer than what had been proper in public, that made me think that he would not be adverse to paying his debt sooner, rather than later. I wondered if he had perhaps even read my thoughts about him; mind-reading didn't seem to be in his repertoire, but maybe, when we were that close, he could pick something up? Or my caresses had simply not been as chaste as I had believed.

I sat up beside him, letting my hand rest carelessly on his thigh. I looked out the window when I spoke, not to seem too eager.

"You know that your ministrations are always welcome, Your Excellency. It would please me if you would care to perform some of them now." I began moving my hand slightly, idly stroking the material of his robe. "Unless, of course," I added in an afterthought, "the cause for your distress was so distasteful that you would rather abstain from similar activities..." If that was the case, I'd never forgive the perpetrators for ruining such a fine elf. But I needed not fear.

"Unseemliness lies not in the action itself, but in the location of its performance," he replied gravely. I took it as a good sign that he placed his hand on top of mine, even if that stilled my motions. His eyes were kind, and I saw an invitation in their calm depths.

"Then you would not deem it improper if the same actions were to be performed in this room?" I did not know exactly what had shocked Thaladir, but I found the mere prospect of doing those things with him strangely exciting. I held my breath waiting for his reply.

"Certainly not," he stated plainly, but with a hint of disbelief, as if he hadn't expected me to ask a question with such an obvious answer. "The seclusion of a concubine's chambers is most appropriate."

"Perchance then, Your Excellency, you would satisfy my curiosity by providing some practical instruction on the matter?" I awaited his stiff nod before sitting up on my knees to kiss him on the mouth. His arms snaked around my back, holding my hips as if he didn't want to let me come too close, and yet his firm grip made me even more eager. I'm sure he knew that too!

And then he surprised me by quickly shifting his hands, so that one was still around my waist, pressing me close to him, while the other was under my bottom, and the cushion I was sitting on. He stood, and I clung to him with arms and legs as best I could, as he carried me the few steps to the opposite side of the room, and then sat me down on the desk.

Before I could say anything, he caught my lips in a kiss and ran his hands up and down my back. I pressed myself closer to him, with my arms still around him, and the impressive bulge I felt against my nether regions made me weak, and very hot. Tentatively, I leaned back a little to come into closer contact. Thaladir obliged with a supporting hand on the small of my back, while the other occupied itself with my very erect nipples. The bodice of my dress obstructed his movements in a most annoying way, but when he began lapping at the material, I quickly decided I could live with that, rather than interrupting him to undress.

Small, strangled noises of pleasure were heard from his throat, and they gradually became more frequent, but not louder, as I let my hands travel over the front of his robe. It was fun to see how much I could make him moan before he would conquer me completely with his touches

He was delicate at first, caressing gently over every part of my body before closing in on the areas where he got the most adequate response and letting his long, sensitive fingers work more fervently there. He had me sighing deeply with lust before he'd even got close to bare skin, and I had to abandon my own actions to better experience the sensations he created in my body

I cried out when his fingertips finally flicked over my core, the material of my dress and underpants not nearly enough to stifle his touch. He continued like that, for a long time it seemed, moving his fingers and hands and mouth, applying more pressure or less, all in order to intensify my pleasure. And then, my moaning changed to a disappointed whimper when everything stopped, much too abruptly.

But when I opened my eyes, I was instantly calmed by the sight of the seneschal unbuttoning his robe. "Please," I begged, and he looked at me with mild indulgence, though he didn't stop until he had finished his task and could shield me from non-existing intruders with his open robe.

"A proper amount of waiting serves only to magnify the eventual gratification, my lady," he panted, but I don't think he believed his own words. There was nothing patient in the way he hastily removed my underwear and unfastened the lacing of his leggings, and it suited me just fine.

As he continued his earlier ministrations, now meeting bare skin, I lay back against the cushion and in my mind thanked the orderly elf's attention to detail. Not only was this so much more comfortable than the hard desk would haven, bn, but it also made sure I was on the convenient height to accommodate my unusually tall lover.

All such thoughts, and, actually, most thoughts, disappeared momentarily when I felt his proud arousal tease my most sensitive spot. I lifted my hips slightly, which was all encouragement he needed to finally plunge in. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he held my thighs in place during the brief, but extremely satisfying session of fervent love-making that followed, graciously making sure that I wouldn't hurt myself while thrashing around on the desk.

He was almost apologetic afterwards, probably thinking that quality had not made up for quantity, despite my obvious signs of the contrary. When I sat up and we just held each other close, he cleared his throat and said what I already suspected.

"My lady, it is, however regretfully, my duty to oversee the preparations for tonight's feast, wherefore I find myself bound, although not inclined, to separate myself from your company for the time being."

I smiled at the seneschal's awkward declaration of affection and I was happy things seemed to be back to normal in the halls of the Elvenking, despite all the unusual and unruly guests.

~*~*~*~*~

~ Sheraiah~

I tracked Thaladir down just before the feast. He wasn't an easy elf to find, I have to say. Must have been due to his duties. He was seeing to a few last minute details before the feast as I approached him, careful to appear as respectful as possible.

"Your Excellency, may I have a moment of your time, please?" I asked, hands clasped in front of me. I was appropriately attired in a gown that didn't reveal too much of my flesh, which seemed to ease the tension between us a bit. He still frowned quite formidably, however.

"Certainly, my lady, although I must insist that you make haste, since my services are required in the dining hall." He replied far more mildly than I would have given him credit for, under the circumstances.

"I understand that, and I appreciate your sparing me a moment of your valuable time, especially under the circumstances. Your Excellency, I wanted to apologize to you, not for what I said because I feel very strongly about that, but the manner in which I spoke to you was not acceptable and the activity that the prince and I were engaged in was much better suited to another location and for that I do humbly beg your pardon."

I wasn't used to having to be so formal with anyone, even after all the time I had spent among elves, but apologizing was the right thing to do and I had never backed down from doing the right thing, no matter how uncomfortable it made me. Besides, I didn't want there to be any hard feelings between Legolas and his former tutor and an apology from me would go a good ways to taking care of that issue.

"Your acceptance of guilt is highly suitable, my lady, and I trust that you have made the appropriate conclusions to prevent future recurrence. I accept your apology."

I smiled demurely at him, thanked him sincerely, and curtseyed. He inclined his head slightly, as much of a gesture as I'd expected, and I bade him farewell until the feast.


~*~*~*~*~

~ Mary ~

That evening's feast seemed to drag on for hours, but that was only due to it being my night with Thranduil. Any time taken from being alone with himt lit like a combination of torture and thievery. As it turned out, we were gathered not just to welcome home the seneschal, and the rest of the Royal Party, but also to bid a formal farewell to Sheraiah and Gimli.

The next day, I was shocked to learn, she and Legolas would be leaving for Dale, together with the dwarf. After hearing about his father's presence at the wedding we had attended, and his infirm condition, Gimli felt an even more urgent need to get started on his way to visit him. And after hearing about our travels, Sheraiah was eager to visit both the Lonely Mountain and the Long Lake. Legolas was always ready to go anywhere for any reason.

I was sorry to hear Sheraiah was leaving so soon, as I had hoped to use her as a lookout for any elves that might happen along while I searched Thaladir's chambers for the record book. This meant I had to come up with another plan.

The twins were supposed to be leaving for Rivendell as well, by eagle back. They sat at the table, subdued, and passed on having any wine with their meal. They had spent most of tay iay in hiding. But no one in the great hall, including Thaladir, treated them discourteously. It helps to be the son of an Elflord when you make a fool of yourself in another elf's home. And at least they were elves, not dwarves.

Even though he was leaving the next day, poor Gimli got more than a few shares of suspicious or uncomfortable glances as he sat at the table with us. I was not right next to him this time, but no one was attacking him outright. However, there was just a distinct chill that seemed to hover in the air. As soon as he had eaten enough to notice the rest of us, I asked him to tell about his travels with Legolas through Fangorn forest, and his impressions of the Ents.

Wary glances and scornful expressions on the faces of every elf within earshot were replaced with respect as the dwarf talked about how he had only learned to see the beauty of the ancient forest because he had Legolas there to guide him. Even the seneschal's usually disdainful expression seemed blurred and softened around the edges when Gimli related his visit with the tree shepherds.

I felt safer knowing Mal was sitting next to the Thaladir, too. She seemed to have just as calming of an influence over him as she did with the king, so he was unlikely to get all crazy-eyed mad again at the table. It was quite impressive, the way her promise to read poetry to him seemed to tranquilize him instantly in the throne room. He had never asked me to read out loud to him from anything except language lesson scrolls. I pointed this out to the king later, when we were finally alone in the royal bedchamber.

"I've met Ents before, too, but that never seemed to make a damn bit of difference to Thaladir." I added as further proof that the old grouch had an unreasonable grudge against me.

"My seneschal has had a trying day," the king replied while he unfastened my gown. As if Thaladir's day had anything to do with anything. But, before I could protest any further, I was naked, Thranduil was naked, and as he drew me onto the bed, with a promise to show me something, I forgot everything else I wanted to say. As usual.


~*~*~*~*~

~ Mal ~

The evening meal was conveniently turned into merry-making to celebrate the return of the royal party. The seneschal's mood improved further when Legolas approached him with an apologetic expression, handing him a large scroll that, according to the prince, held the records of all that had passed in Thaladir's absence. The younger elf's eyes had a suspicious glitter to them, and when he winked at me I took it as confirmation that most of the notable transgressions would be his own. I'm fairly sure his former tutor understood that as well, but appeared more amused than annoyed.

The feast itself was a happy event, with plenty of wine and song and jokes and dancing, in fact so much of it that it was hard to recall the details afterwards. During most of the evening, Haldir had made brave attempts to share his news with the king, but Thranduil had always waved him off, stating that it was yet not time for such matters.

There seemed to be no more animosity between Thaladir and Sheraiah, whom I had learned was the trigger of his fit that afternoon, so I was surprised to hear that she would be leaving already the following day. She would accompany Gimli to the Lonely Mountain, and it appeared the dwarf had only stayed long enough for the king to return, so that Legolas could travel with him too.

I felt I hadn't really got the chance to get to know Sheraiah, but perhaps it was for the best of the stability of the realm that she didn't stay on. I suspected she wouldn't be happy when her electric appliances ran out of batteries, and the dictated fashion of long gowns, didn't seem to suit her taste either. She looked much happier in leggings on horseback, than when she had been wearing a dress and attempted to live up to the seneschal's rules. It was still a pity to see her leave.


~*~*~*~*~

~ Sheraiah~


It was easy to get out of bed the next morning, I was so eager to get on the road. I hadn't stayed very late at the feast, preferring to retire to my room early and pack. I was very excited at the prospect of seeing more of Middle Earth, and Legolas' comments had seemed to imply that he intended to take our travels beyond Dale, which I was all for. We would be traveling by horse, which made me grateful for a childhood spent visiting my grandparents' farm and all the hours I had spent riding Cricket, their gelding.

We left after breakfast, with a full send off. I hugged both Mary and Mal, regretting not getting to spend more time with them, but eager to get onto the road. Thranduil kissed my hand again, and made ant ont of telling me that I was welcome whenever I wished to visit. Thaladir, to his great credit, showed no outward signs of disagreement to the king's words, and I bade a formal and correct farewell to both of them, having been coached on what to say by Legolas.

I was fairly buzzing with excitement as we set off. My horse, picking up on my emotional state, pranced and tried to break into a canter, but I held her back. It wouldn't do to get ahead and get off the track. Gimli was already griping about being on the back of a horse as it was. I met Legolas' eyes and we exchanged a grin. He knew perfectly well how excited I was, and it seemed that he too was affected by that because he began to sing. Gimli rolled his eyes, just to keep up appearances, and I laughed. Adventure, here I come, I thought. I wasn't a bit frightened. After all, I had the bow of an elven prince and the axe of a mighty dwarven warrior to defend me if we ran into any trouble.


~*~*~*~*~

~ Mary ~

It made me sad to say goodbye to Sheraiah, my partner in protocol-crime. She was almost overjoyed with the prospect of getting out on the open road after all the time she had spent cooped up in Rivendell during the storms, and then here in the caves of Mirkwood.

Elladan and Elrohir were not leaving after all. For some reason, according to Mal, the king had asked them to stay around for a while. They came out to the gates to say goodbye to the prince and his lady, and the dwarf. They were not fazed at all by Gimli, but then they had been raised in Imladris, where any of the free folk of Middle-earth, who were not known agents of the Dark Lord in the past, were always welcome.

Gimli looked as uncomfortable as a dwarf can appear as he sat behind Legolas on horseback. Sheraiah was leant her own mount, and looked ready to run a steeple-chase. I told her if she came back, we would go out riding together. I was sorry I had not thought of it before. As they rode off, I looked at Thranduil, who nodded at me. I took that as a sign to proceed with my plans to break into the seneschal's chambers for a peek at his record books.

I assumed that Thaladir wrote everything down in Sindarin, in Tengwar script, which meant I would not be able to read them right away. But, eventually, I would. Learning how to read and write the Elvish letters turned out to be easier than learning how to speak the language. In fact, it was fun. Every letter is made from two parts, the stem and the bow. So, once I had those two main shapes down, and practiced, it was actually very easy to learn how to write the whole alphabet. The seneschal was very relieved to find out that all he had to do was give me a pile of parchment, some ink, and a pen, and I would sit for hours drawing letters.

My favorite part was putting the little dots on top of some of the bows. For a second, the ink dots would sit there, like tiny beads, shiny and wet, before sinking into the parchment. By an unspoken agreement, the language lessons halted and the writing lessons took their place. It was much quieter in the study after that.

Elvish letters can be used to write any language in Middle-earth, including the Black Tongue of Mordor, so Thaladir started me out writing words in Common speech instead of Elvish. I could write my name, Mal's name, Thranduil's name, and all of the numbers and the days of the week, by the end of my first lesson. After a few weeks, I could read anything inmon mon speech written in Tengwar script. Although I still could not speak Elvish to save my life.

So, while Thranduil kept the seneschal occupied, as I had asked, I set off with paper, pen, and inkpot in hand. My plan was to find my name in that record book, and then copy out whatever was written there, and translate it later. Or find someone to translate it for me. Something like that.

I needed a lookout, but Mal was not in her room, and I was pretty sure she would not want to be a party to this. For a crazy moment, I considered Elladan and Elrohir, but I was not ready to be alone with them yet. I was not convinced they were ready to give up all attempts to pressure me into leaving Mirkwood. Instead, I took Miriel into my confidence and asked her to come with me. She did not try to warn me away from the records like Thranduil had, but she was skeptical that I would be able to enter Thaladir's chambers without him ever discovering it. He was very cautious about his privacy.

"I don't care if he figures out I was there, as long as he doesn't come in and stop me before I can get it all written down," I held up the paper in my hand. But I took her skepticism to heart and was as careful as I could be when we finally had reached his door and I reached for the handle. First I checked it to see if he had it booby-trapped. There, on top of the door knob was a tiny hair. I held it up for Miriel to see and asked her to hold it for me.

Once inside the room, however, I almost forgot why I had come. The seneschal was hiding an entire library from the rest of us. From where I stood, I could see no titles in anything other than Sindarin, but I still wished I had known they were here. Floor to ceiling shelves lined the entire chamber. There was very little else inside, besides a small plain bed, a table, chair, some odds and ends. And a desk.

And it was a beauty, almost as big as the king's desk, and sitting in a place of honor with chandeliers to light it. On top of the otherwise spotlessly clean surface there were some neatly rolled scrolls and a large leather-bound book. Even though I could not see the title on its cover, I knew it was the record of protocol violations that I came to find. It was hard to believe it would be this easy, but of course the first thing Thaladir would want to do is write down all the infractions that had taken place on the road to get it all caught up so he could start concentrating on what was going on about the palace.

Now that I was finally in his room, and felt the almost oppressive weight of what I imagined were thousands years of experience with sneaky little snoops such as I, it was tempting to just declare victory and run. I had proved I could get a look if I wanted to, so maybe that should be enough. What did it really matter, in the long run, the number and names of crimes against protocol I had committed? I almost turned to leave.

But it did matter. My heart pounded as I walked across the room and imagined tiny hairs spread here and there on the flagstone floor to catch the presence of unauthorized visitors. The handwriting on the scrolls was unreadable to me, and I wondered if they were the notes Legolas had kept. There was a tiny, flat book next to them, resembling a pocket-book in size, and when I opened it, I realized immediately that it was the seneschal's travel diary. It was not in Sindarin at all, but in Common Speech, and I could read it.

At first, it made me giggle. Just as I suspected, my first violation during our trip to Dale, was losing my underpants in the creek where we had stopped the first morning out. I hardly thought it was a fair charge, though, since I did not drop them into the water on purpose, it was more accidentally on purpose. My overenthusiastic response to the minstrels at the inn in Esgaroth was noted, but not a word about how well I handled the wine bowls. It figured.

The next entry made me snicker, too, at first: "Furthermore, it must be noted that during our first overnight stay at the inn, Lady Mary was not appropriately covered with her proper undergarments, a clear violation of protocol. However, I must admit that the moment of discovery was thrilling, since the glow from her skin is most seductive in both its brilliance and intensity, wherefore I was not capable of resisting the urge to touch her. Nevertheless …"

I had to stop there, start over, and read it again. And a third time. I kept thinking the words would change. It took some effort to get a hold of my thoughts. My heart pounded.

"…However, I must admit that the moment of discovery was thrilling…" Could this possibly mean what it sounded like? There had to be an explanation. Besides the obvious, but impossible one.

He did know that my undergarments were missing. But he did not seem all that thrilled at the time. And I had told him that the king's friend had stolen them. The mystery elf who had insisted that I be blindfolded first to prevent me from learning his true…identity. Reluctantly, fearfully, almost unwilling to learn what I now had to know, I read on, but did not have to go much further:

"Regrettably, I must report Lady Mary's attempt to prevent her violation from being discovered by stating, to me, the following: 'Don't tell Thaladir.'" The floor seemed to rock under my feet for a moment. There was no reason for me to read any more.

I do not know how long I stood with that little travel log in my hands as I stared into space and tried to recall that night. I went hot and cold and hot while I remembered the things he had done, that I had done, that we had done. And then I remembered something else.

He had made me beg him for it. And the thought of the triumphant look that must have been on his face at the time turned my blood into ice.


~*~*~*~*~

~ Mal ~

It had been clear from the start that there was some kind of competition going on between Haldir and Thranduil, but I hadn't expected the king to require the March Warden to go through a formal audience in order to finally deliver his message. He did it with flying colours and I was happy to be a witness.

The throne room had been prepared to look, if possible, even more official than usual. Large flags and tapestries hung on the walls, which were lighted by many torches. Anarion and all the elves in the honour guard that had followed us to Esgaroth were standing along one wall, holding spears and looking suitably proud and fierce. Helca, Canath and the other advisors were seated along the opposite wall, as an odd kind of court, but for the moment with Thaladir, the stern president, missing. Only Helca's half-grown cat disturbed the officiousness of the scene.

Thranduil's great throne of carved wood was still empty. Two smaller chairs had been placed on one side of it, in front of the guards, and I was even more delighted to get to witness this event from such a perfect position.

Mary entered the room on Thranduil's elbow, and with Thaladir following close beside them, but she didn't seem nearly as happy as I felt. She appeared agitated and whispered something to the king. When she sat, she avoided looking at him, or the seneschal, and kept her gaze straight ahead of her. But perhaps she was just too excited to relax, or wanted to make sure to catch the first glimpse of Haldir.

I felt like I couldn't take my eyes off the king. Seated on his throne, he looked regal in that way that always makes me want to worship him. His tunic and leggings were of the kind he usually wore, snug, dark and enhancing his striking features by forming a background, rather than compete with them in splendour. His crown was fresh for the day, and just as beautiful as the one Mirime had brought him earlier. I wondered how she had the time to make them.

But, soon enough a sound interrupted my enamoured musings. I turned my head and saw that the rhythmic knocking came not from the door, but from the sentinel closest to the gate, who was tapping the bottom end of his spear at the floor. Moments later, he announced: "Haldir o Lórien". So, it was to begin. I resisted the urge to watch the gates, and instead looked back at Thranduil, eager to see how he would receive his guest now, in this official setting.

The king took no visible notice of the newcomer. Instead, he slowly bent his hand to carefully study his nails. Then he crossed his legs at the ankles and wagged his foot in a nonchalant gesture. His feet were encased in leather boots of a green shade so dark it looked black except for where the light was reflected by the dull-ging ing surface. There were decorative seams all over them, winding garlands of trailing plants that seemed to cling to the king's feet by their own will and looked very much alive.

Where the boots ended, leggings of soft dark-grey suede followed, and my gaze travelled all the way up Thranduil's long, long legs, until my view was hampered by a simple green tunic that hung loosely around his waist. Slowly I lifted my eyes to his mouth and, when I noticed the hint of a smile, even further up. I was stunned when his emerald eyes met mine, and as so many times before, his powerful gaze rendered me wholly at his benevolent mercy. A glimpse of affection I saw there, and then he yanked his gaze off of me, and I became aware of the rest of the world again.

Then I turned my head to where the king was looking, to Haldir. The March Warden of Lórien was dazzling in his red cloak. It accented his broad shoulders in a striking way, and made a formidable contrast to his simple grey uniform. He wore his hair braided as usual, and the cloak seemed to be his only concession to formality. It was all he needed.

I knew that he had been trying hard to deliver his message as soon as the king returned, but had also noticed that Thranduil seemed to find a perverse pleasure in delaying it, for no obvious reason other than taunting the Lórien elf. The king's taking no notice of him must have made him furious.

Now he still kept his outer calm, as was expected, but once I studied him more carefully, I saw that he most of all looked like a magnificent war stallion ready to charge. His eyes were flashing dangerously, his nostrils fluttered, widening and closing, and I almost expected him to lift his foot and stomp impatiently at the stone floor.

Thranduil calmly uncrossed his legs, placed them widely apart and then leaned back on his throne. He clasped his hands together in his lap and stroked absentmindedly with his digit over the large white gem on the ring he wore on the middle finger of his right hand. The slightest hint of a smile tugged at his lips, and I was reassured, again, that this was all a game.

Haldir lifted his chin proudly and I could see his upper lip curl slightly, but he remained silent. Time stood still and the tension in the room was so thick I barely dared to breathe.

And then, the king suddenly looked up, with a shrewd expression on his handsome face, sat upright and placed his hands on the armrests of the impressive throne, as if he had finally deemed the message, and its bringer, worthy of his attention.

"Speak, March Warden," he said. He was serious now, possibly because he had won some kind of victory, or tested Haldir's patience to the extent that amused him for the present. Now it was the other's turn.

"I bear message from my Lord and Lady," Haldir said proudly, "and humbly express my gratitude for this permission to deliver it that has so graciously been granted." His words dripped with sarcasm, as if he were pronouncing a grave insult, and the way he said "humbly" would have made me giggle if it hadn't been for the seriousness of the moment. He tossed his head, sending wisps of silver hair flying in the air and then arranging themselves on the red cloak as elegantly as before. The king shook his mane in reply, but appeared not to be too concerned. "Proceed," was all he said.

"Lord Celeborn desires to greet his kinsman under the mellyrn, and to discuss common affairs of our woodland realms." I thought that was a very polite invitation, and nicely worded too, but the king didn't seem impressed.

"Ah, he does. Was that all?"

"Furthermore," Haldir continued crisply, carefully pronouncing each syllable in a way that must be music to the seneschal's ears, even if the combination of words weren't, "my lord desires to personally make sure that the mortals in your care are indeed well cared for. Only as a safety measure, naturally."

"Of course," Thranduil replied dryly. Thaladir pursed his lips and looked disapprovingly at the Lórien elf. I suspected he thought of the outcome of the similar wish that had been voiced by Lord Bard II. I hoped Celeborn would have nice hands, and felt fairly confident that was the case. After all, he was married to the most powerful elf of them all.

Haldir didn't say anything more, just stood waiting, though I'm sure he hadn't expected an answer on the spot. The king told him that he would take the invitation under advisement and dismissed him. The March Warden nodded, as little as possible, but when my eyes met his for a brief moment, I knew that he was satisfied with the outcome of the audience. I guessed he felt he could go back to flirting with tllitllith together with Elladan and Elrohir, now that his errand was done for the moment. He turned in a flourish and left the room in a quick stride.

The king appeared happy too. I had no way of telling what he really thought about the invitation, but he seemed to want to put his mind on other things. He grinned, opened his arms wide, and said in a low voice to Mary and myself: "Attend me". That was a command I would obey gladly!

As I rose to leave my chair, I saw how Thaladir had begun to usher the others out of the room. Helca tossed her head and gathered up her cat in her arms, Canath smiled shyly, as usual, but nobody spoke. Then the spear-bearers left, a silent army that made a spooky impression. I had long ago gotten used to one or two elves not making a sound, but a large group of them walking noiselessly was something different. I shrugged and turned my attention to my king.

With a happy sigh, I sat in Thranduil's lap and leaned my head against his chest. It was wonderful to feel his arms around me, and I couldn't understand why Mary was hesitating. She seemed not to have understood what Haldir had said, and when the others had left, she had wanted to go with them. But she seemed to change her mind when the king sent his seneschal away, and perhaps she felt a bit of that old jealousy at seeing me with Thranduil. She quickly sat on his other thigh, and he gave her a quick kiss, before asking us; "So, do you desire to visit the land of the insufferable March Warden?"

There was something else I desired more immediately, as always when being this close to him, and I showed it to the king. I guessed Mary's response was the same.

"Good," he said. "It will be a pleasure to not take the missive into consideration for the time being, although I suspect a certain elf will remain in my halls to await a formal reply until the end of Arda. Pity."

I didn't think it at all a pity if the handsome March Warden would stay around for a while, and I'm fairly Thranduil saw that thought. With fervour, he began to bestow hot kisses and touches on both Mary and me, and it took a long time before we left the room for the more comfortable surroundings of the royal bedchamber. It's amazing how much fun can be had on a throne

~*~*~*~*~

~ Mary ~

I did not hear very much of whatever it was that was so important for Haldir to tell us that he had to wear his official "spokesman" robe and have us assemble in Thranduil's throne room. And, I regret to admit, I really did not pay that much attention to what he looked like either while he was standing there, talking. Because, I did not want to be there, at all.

And I tried to get out of it by claiming a headache and going right to bed after leaving Thaladir's chambers. As if the king would buy that. When he came to get me, he told me that I had no one to blame for my discomfort except for myself. If I had been speaking to him, I probably would have said something really stupid. But he was only right in a way.

As he escorted me through the halls, my arm firmly gripped in his elbow, I tried to think of the right words to tell him how poorly I felt I was treated, even though we both knew I had not been.

"He made me beg him," I finally spat out. "Did you know that? Of course you knew that. I don't ever want to see him again. Can you blame me? Never again." But, there he was, standing right next to door to the throne room, totally oblivious, or so I assumed, to what I had just learned about him. The fiend. I did not curtsey, smile, or even look at him.

The king did not respond to a single thing I said except to ask me pleasantly if I was reneging on the one condition he had made for his participation. Which, I remembered without being told, was to not bother him if I was aggravated by my findings. He did not even have to remind me about his warning, how my opinion of his seneschal would change if I followed my course of action. And it certainly did not soothe my feelings to know that if not for my snooping, I would never have known that Thaladir was my mystery elf.

It was not the silver-haired, blue-eyed, minstrel with the golden voice and as I sat in a chair next to the king's throne, I sighed loudly to realize it fully, I felt so sad giving up my romantic visions. Instead, they were being replaced with the sour-faced old grouch who never smiled at me no matter how hard I tried to make him happy. It did not compute. How could this be possible? And what had I done by reading that travel diary? I could have lived with my happy illusions forever.

"You should have tried harder to stop me," I whispered to the king. It was hard not to be on speaking terms with him when I had so much to say. Admittedly, I am not exactly sure why I felt so angry at Thranduil. He had warned me, fairly, about what was going to happen if I looked at the seneschal's book, and he had been absolutely right. I had no one to blame but myself. I blew out my breath loudly and earned a cleared throat and stern glare from the evil sex monster standing next to Mal.

"Tell your seneschal not to ever look at me, speak to me, or clear his throat at me, ever again," I told Thranduil in a loud enough whisper for any elf to hear. It felt good to say it, even if it was the most unrealistic request I had ever made. Or at least it is way up there near the top of the list. The king just gazed at me silently in reply. Haldir walked in, with that red cloak on. With a start, I noticed that the whole room was filled with elves. This must be something important. While a long silence filled the room, I wondered what would happen if I just got up and walked out.

The king stretched out his legs, those long, perfectly proportioned legs. It was hard not to notice the way his thigh muscles rippled ever so slightly beneath his tight leggings when he shifted around to cross his feet for a moment. How could I stay mad at an elf with legs like those? I imagined them sans pants. It made me feel a little better.

But, whatever the heck the March Warden said went in one of my ears and out the other. All I could think of was how I could get out of that throne room and as far away from Thaladir as possible. But, before being so near to the seneschal grew completely unbearable, Thranduil told Haldir he would take some invitation under advisement, and ended the audience with a gesture of dismissal.

"Invitation where?" I asked out loud.

"Are you mad?" whispered Mal. "We're invited to Lorien, by Lord Celeborn. Weren't you listening?"

"To Lorien? Right now?" I stood up, ready to go. But everyone was leaving the room, including the March Warden, and the seneschal, so I was not so eager to get out of there anymore. The king spread his thighs and invited us into his lap, and, even though I was already standing, the still-seated Mal beat me into it. Up until that minute, I was not sure exactly when I would want to sit there again. It turned out to be as soon as I saw his concubine put her head on his shoulder.

Once he started cuddling with us, all of my angry feelings melted into the pleasure of the moment. I reveled in the sensation made by his hot breath on my neck when he kissed me there, and the way his hand felt as he caressed me through my flimsy gown. Mal looked similarly affected by his other hand as he shared his attentions equally between the two of us. He asked if we would like to go to Lorien and I told him I had been there before. It was not a bad place to visit. But I did not want to think about traveling anywhere right that moment, except maybe someplace softer. Mal indicated she was of a similar opinion.

"Shall we remove ourselves, then, my dears, to my chambers," asked the lusty king. As if he had to ask.


The End
or, is it?
Cue music:

"When Mary and Mal Toured Middle-earth"
by: Zhie

There is a land not far away, not far away from here
Where elves and men, and all their friends
Live and dwell, my dear.

There is a cave within this land, within this land of old
Where a mighty King, to his land did bring
Two fair ladies bold.

There is a song that I will sing, that I will sing right now
Where this lovely pair, those two maidens fair
Journey far, and how!

Oh, when,
Mary and Mal toured Middle-earth
They traveled far as the eye could see
From the plains of Rohan’s horses to
Minas Tirith’s great white tree

Oh, when,
Mary and Mal toured Middle-earth
Upon eagle or mounted on horse
They stopped in every elven realm
And every hobbit town, of course

There is a house east of the sea, east of the sea you know
Where travelers meet, and rest their feet
In the valley far below

There is a tree of gold with silver, gold with silver bark
Where the elves are wise, and the starry skies
Stay clear when they are dark

There is a boat upon a shore, upon a shore by the sea
Where elves sail west, when they need a rest
Until then I sing to thee

Oh, when,
Mary and Mal toured Middle-earth
They traveled far as the eye could see
From the plains of Rohan’s horses to
Minas Tirith’s great white tree

Oh, when,
Mary and Mal toured Middle-earth
Upon eagle or mounted on horse
They stopped in every elven realm
And every hobbit town, of course!

For more of our adventures, please read Mirkwood and Beyond posted here at AFF