Sex, Drugs, and Orcish Theatre
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,050
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,050
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Lesbians!!!
Chapter 34
"Excellent, I think Galadriel's out," said Aragorn to nobody in particular. Legolas had returned to his reading, Haldir was practicing swirling brandy around in a crystal brandy glass and looking menacingly at invisible minions cowering at his feet.
"Then go! You stink, human," said Haldir, still very much into his little fantasy.
"Fuck off. Once I'm king I swear I'll make you be much nicer to me," replied Aragorn usely, sy, stalking off. He opened the door to the bedroom, began to walk in then stopped, keeping the door open a crack. "Legolas!!!" he hissed.
"What," said Legolas vaguely.
"Lesbians!!!!"
Haldir and Legolas were out of their seats before the word was fully spoken. Smacking each other to ensure a better view before they even reached a door, the two blondes hurried over to spy on Kalina and Galadriel.
"Oooh, they're really going for it," said Legolas, quietly slipping one hand into his pocket.
"Fool! You should have just gone in there and hoped they invited you in on it all!" hissed Haldir, inwardly cursing the lack of convenient pockets on the dressing gown and wondering what was the best way to surreptitiously partake in some self-abuse.
This gave Legolas an idea. Grabbing Aragorn's wrist he opened the door.
"NO! They'll see us!!" hissed Haldir.
"Fuck off!!!" hissed Legolas. "Kalina we need to... SHIT! We're sorry..." Legolas feigned barging in.
"You've been watching us for a few minutes now, don't lie," snapped Galadriel, although neither her nor Kalina made much effort to hide the fact that they were both writhing on the bed in each others arms, Kalina in a partial state of undress and Galadriel naked.
"Erm..." said Aragorn uselessly. "Bath. Dirty. Yes?" he tried. Kalina and Galadriel looked at each other, then grinned. Some communication seemed to pass between them without any words. Legolas looked suspicious.
"Aragorn, go take a bath. Legolas, piss off," ordered Galadriel.
"And kick Haldir on your way out... YES I SEE YOU SKULKING THERE AND GET YOUR HAND OUT FROM UNDER THAT DRESSING GOWN!!" shouted Kalina. Haldir guiltily skulked away from the door as Legolas left the room, looking annoyed.
"Vile bitches," snorted Haldir, annoyed.
"Oh well. If those liaisons continue Kalina is sure to throw me into the mix at some point," said Legolas confidently, trying not to grin too much. Haldir tried to kick him but missed.
"Well, we're on our own," began Haldir, hopefully.
"No. I want lesbians!" said Legolas, throwing himself down onto the coucha sua sulk, arms crossed over his chest and pouting slightly.
"Well you evidently can't have any right now," said Haldir insidiously, putting a hand on his knee.
"Later Haldir," he snapped sulkily.
"Fine. You're such a spoilt bitch," snapped Haldir, storming off across the room and sitting down in his armchair
"Excellent, I think Galadriel's out," said Aragorn to nobody in particular. Legolas had returned to his reading, Haldir was practicing swirling brandy around in a crystal brandy glass and looking menacingly at invisible minions cowering at his feet.
"Then go! You stink, human," said Haldir, still very much into his little fantasy.
"Fuck off. Once I'm king I swear I'll make you be much nicer to me," replied Aragorn usely, sy, stalking off. He opened the door to the bedroom, began to walk in then stopped, keeping the door open a crack. "Legolas!!!" he hissed.
"What," said Legolas vaguely.
"Lesbians!!!!"
Haldir and Legolas were out of their seats before the word was fully spoken. Smacking each other to ensure a better view before they even reached a door, the two blondes hurried over to spy on Kalina and Galadriel.
"Oooh, they're really going for it," said Legolas, quietly slipping one hand into his pocket.
"Fool! You should have just gone in there and hoped they invited you in on it all!" hissed Haldir, inwardly cursing the lack of convenient pockets on the dressing gown and wondering what was the best way to surreptitiously partake in some self-abuse.
This gave Legolas an idea. Grabbing Aragorn's wrist he opened the door.
"NO! They'll see us!!" hissed Haldir.
"Fuck off!!!" hissed Legolas. "Kalina we need to... SHIT! We're sorry..." Legolas feigned barging in.
"You've been watching us for a few minutes now, don't lie," snapped Galadriel, although neither her nor Kalina made much effort to hide the fact that they were both writhing on the bed in each others arms, Kalina in a partial state of undress and Galadriel naked.
"Erm..." said Aragorn uselessly. "Bath. Dirty. Yes?" he tried. Kalina and Galadriel looked at each other, then grinned. Some communication seemed to pass between them without any words. Legolas looked suspicious.
"Aragorn, go take a bath. Legolas, piss off," ordered Galadriel.
"And kick Haldir on your way out... YES I SEE YOU SKULKING THERE AND GET YOUR HAND OUT FROM UNDER THAT DRESSING GOWN!!" shouted Kalina. Haldir guiltily skulked away from the door as Legolas left the room, looking annoyed.
"Vile bitches," snorted Haldir, annoyed.
"Oh well. If those liaisons continue Kalina is sure to throw me into the mix at some point," said Legolas confidently, trying not to grin too much. Haldir tried to kick him but missed.
"Well, we're on our own," began Haldir, hopefully.
"No. I want lesbians!" said Legolas, throwing himself down onto the coucha sua sulk, arms crossed over his chest and pouting slightly.
"Well you evidently can't have any right now," said Haldir insidiously, putting a hand on his knee.
"Later Haldir," he snapped sulkily.
"Fine. You're such a spoilt bitch," snapped Haldir, storming off across the room and sitting down in his armchair