The Corruption and Degredation of Mary Sue
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
42
Views:
1,640
Reviews:
46
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
42
Views:
1,640
Reviews:
46
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Violence Makes it All Better
Chapter 32: Violence Makes it All Better
Legolas was feeling a little better thanks to smoking and enjoying the outdoors in Aragorn’s company. The ranger seemed to be alert and keeping an eye out for something, but Legolas had yet to twig or care.
Finally, Aragorn noticed the shed door open and Maglor slipped out, wearing what looked like the shirt Glorfindel had on earlier. Sure enough a few minutes later, Glorfindel emerged, wearing Maglor’s shirt and wearing the same contented grin. Aragorn tensed up and watched as at last the door opened a third time and Kalina staggered out, looking slightly dazed and out of breath. She began to move across the garden.
“What have you been staring at?” asked Legolas, finally curious enough to try and turn his head. At this moment Aragorn suddenly threw himself at the elf and punched him, cutting his lip.
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!” screamed Legolas, indignant.
“Fight back! Do it! Kalina likes you dirty and bloody and she’s right over there!” hissed Aragorn, grabbing the elf and slamming his shoulders into the ground as he tried to struggle up. The human grabbed a handful of dirt and rubbed it into the elf’s face.
“YOU SHIT!! MY HAIR! Oh that’s IT!” Legolas slammed his forehead into Aragorn’s nose with an audible crunch, then pushed back the human and sat on his chest, slamming his fist repeatedly into his face. “YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH MY HAIR! YOU UTTER UTTER BASTARD! I’VE HAD A FUCKING AWFUL DAY WITHOUT YOU FUCKING UP MY HAIR!!”
Sure enough, the elf’s screams lured Kalina over in time to see Aragorn start fighting back. The human and the elf locked arms, getting far too carried away with their violence. She glared at both of them as they continued to struggle. Then she noticed Legolas. He was bleeding from a small cut on the lip and there was a keen fury in his eyes. And he was looking decidedly unkempt and grubby.
“Aragorn! Don’t damage my property!” snapped Kalina. The words were music to Legolas’s ears.
‘YES! She still thinks of me as her possession! Oh thank fucking Eru!!’ Legolas could barely contain his grin as Aragorn backed off, looking superior that his cunning ploy seemed to be working.
“He started it. He made some nasty remark about you and Glorfindel,” lied Legolas. Aragorn started to glower. This was venturing towards precarious territory that could easily incense Kalina.
“Unlike you trying to get me into vast amounts of trouble this morning,” retorted Kalina nastily. Legolas’s euphoria quickly reverted to desperation. He turned and flung himself down at Kalina’s boots.
“Please, Mistress, forgive me. I know I’ve been stupid, but…” Legolas was suddenly rather self conscious about Aragorn trying very hard not to giggle at the grovelling elf. “Does he really have to be here right now?” he asked Kalina quietly.
“Aragorn, piss off and leave us alone while I sort this out,” ordered Kalina. Annoyed that his fun had been spoiled, he slunk off indoors. “Now. You were saying?” inquired Kalina, her manner brittle.
“I’m very very very very very sorry I upset my Mistress this morning. I was just kind of freaked out and convinced that you’d never pay attention to me ever again because of your Noldor playthings,” mumbled Legolas, still kowtowing before Kalina.
“Are you really that stupid?” said Kalina blandly. “Can you really see me fisting Glorfindel or barking orders at him?” she demanded. Legolas shrugged.
“This IS you we’re talking about,” he muttered. Kalina was touched.
“You really think I’m intimidating enough to make Glorfindel beg me to abuse him?” For the first time in what seemed to Legolas like ages, Kalina smiled at him. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“And Maglor,” he added, seeing as flattery was getting him places. Then to be on the safe side he added, “Not that I think you should go out of your way or anything to torment them. I mean, Elrond would probably start noticing something was up…”
“Will you stop fretting? Glorfindel and Maglor are lovely but well… look, they’re both veterans of lots of insane wars. And even I can only take so much reminiscing, no matter how violent, before I start getting bored (although you’d be amazed at some of the dirt Maglor told me about Daddy this morning…).”
Legolas felt relief seeping back in again, but remained cautious this time to make sure he didn’t stick his foot in his mouth.
“Anyway, I can’t be having my slave wandering about in the state YOU’RE in,” said Kalina. “But first, I suggest you clean my boots as a lesson for doubting me. And Maglor managed to get overexcited and I’ve got Noldor spooge on this one.” Kalina prodded Legolas in the head with the offending footwear as he began to get to his knees.
“Uhm… what should I clean them with?” he asked cautiously. Kalina smiled.
“Your tongue. That’s what you get for being all uptight and possessive,” she replied sweetly. “Now lick my boots nice and shiny clean and all will be forgiven and forgotten.”
Legolas stared at Kalina’s boots, then shrugged. At least she wasn’t forcing him eat that infamous courgette, and there was a lot of far nastier things he was willing to do to cement his position as Kalina’s primary fuckpuppet.
He threw himself into licking and polishing her boots until the black leather gleamed enough to appease her. “That will do nicely,” said Kalina, pushing Legolas back with her foot. “Now do I need to put a leash on you or are you going to follow me obediently back to my room?”
“I think I’ll walk,” said Legolas, noticing Elrond approaching as he got to his feet.
“Have you seen Maglor? I haven’t seen him since he got here,” muttered Elrond. “And what happened to you?” he demanded, looking accusingly at Legolas. He shrugged guiltily and said nothing.
“Aragorn managed to upset his hair,” whispered Kalina.
“Ohhh… well that explains why I saw Aragorn looking somewhat battered. Anyway where is your Uncle Maglor?” demanded Elrond of his daughter.
“I saw him heading off with Uncle Glorfindel somewhere,” said Kalina. “Probably smoking opium in Glorfindel’s room,” she suggested.
“Last I saw of him, Maglor was far more into his laudanum than opium,” said Elrond inattentively. His gaze turned towards his shed, blinking in vague confusion. “Did someone move that shed or is it just me?” he asked. Kalina shrugged and made an incomprehensible noise indicating she neither knew nor cared.
“How much have you been smoking today?” asked Kalina, pointedly. Elrond narrowed his eyes at her.
“Never you mind. Daddy’s under a lot of stress right now, so don’t accuse him of being a negligent dopefiend,” he said defensively.
“Sorry,” said Kalina. Elrond sighed.
“I’m sorry. I’m just a little flustered right now. Now where has that wretched elf got to?” Elrond hugged his daughter briefly, and wondered why she had traces of whipped cream in her hair, then decided it was best not to speculate. He wandered off, deciding to try Glorfindel’s just in case they were lurking in there getting high.
“Now where were we?” asked Kalina, turning back to Legolas.
“I was about to trail meekly behind my Mistress to her boudoir and grovel before her and do her bidding?” tried Legolas optimistically. He smiled hopefully at Kalina.
“That’s the one. Come along pretty minion,” said Kalina, really wishing she did have him on a collar and leash to drag him along behind her for the sake of emphasis.
Legolas was feeling a little better thanks to smoking and enjoying the outdoors in Aragorn’s company. The ranger seemed to be alert and keeping an eye out for something, but Legolas had yet to twig or care.
Finally, Aragorn noticed the shed door open and Maglor slipped out, wearing what looked like the shirt Glorfindel had on earlier. Sure enough a few minutes later, Glorfindel emerged, wearing Maglor’s shirt and wearing the same contented grin. Aragorn tensed up and watched as at last the door opened a third time and Kalina staggered out, looking slightly dazed and out of breath. She began to move across the garden.
“What have you been staring at?” asked Legolas, finally curious enough to try and turn his head. At this moment Aragorn suddenly threw himself at the elf and punched him, cutting his lip.
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!” screamed Legolas, indignant.
“Fight back! Do it! Kalina likes you dirty and bloody and she’s right over there!” hissed Aragorn, grabbing the elf and slamming his shoulders into the ground as he tried to struggle up. The human grabbed a handful of dirt and rubbed it into the elf’s face.
“YOU SHIT!! MY HAIR! Oh that’s IT!” Legolas slammed his forehead into Aragorn’s nose with an audible crunch, then pushed back the human and sat on his chest, slamming his fist repeatedly into his face. “YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH MY HAIR! YOU UTTER UTTER BASTARD! I’VE HAD A FUCKING AWFUL DAY WITHOUT YOU FUCKING UP MY HAIR!!”
Sure enough, the elf’s screams lured Kalina over in time to see Aragorn start fighting back. The human and the elf locked arms, getting far too carried away with their violence. She glared at both of them as they continued to struggle. Then she noticed Legolas. He was bleeding from a small cut on the lip and there was a keen fury in his eyes. And he was looking decidedly unkempt and grubby.
“Aragorn! Don’t damage my property!” snapped Kalina. The words were music to Legolas’s ears.
‘YES! She still thinks of me as her possession! Oh thank fucking Eru!!’ Legolas could barely contain his grin as Aragorn backed off, looking superior that his cunning ploy seemed to be working.
“He started it. He made some nasty remark about you and Glorfindel,” lied Legolas. Aragorn started to glower. This was venturing towards precarious territory that could easily incense Kalina.
“Unlike you trying to get me into vast amounts of trouble this morning,” retorted Kalina nastily. Legolas’s euphoria quickly reverted to desperation. He turned and flung himself down at Kalina’s boots.
“Please, Mistress, forgive me. I know I’ve been stupid, but…” Legolas was suddenly rather self conscious about Aragorn trying very hard not to giggle at the grovelling elf. “Does he really have to be here right now?” he asked Kalina quietly.
“Aragorn, piss off and leave us alone while I sort this out,” ordered Kalina. Annoyed that his fun had been spoiled, he slunk off indoors. “Now. You were saying?” inquired Kalina, her manner brittle.
“I’m very very very very very sorry I upset my Mistress this morning. I was just kind of freaked out and convinced that you’d never pay attention to me ever again because of your Noldor playthings,” mumbled Legolas, still kowtowing before Kalina.
“Are you really that stupid?” said Kalina blandly. “Can you really see me fisting Glorfindel or barking orders at him?” she demanded. Legolas shrugged.
“This IS you we’re talking about,” he muttered. Kalina was touched.
“You really think I’m intimidating enough to make Glorfindel beg me to abuse him?” For the first time in what seemed to Legolas like ages, Kalina smiled at him. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“And Maglor,” he added, seeing as flattery was getting him places. Then to be on the safe side he added, “Not that I think you should go out of your way or anything to torment them. I mean, Elrond would probably start noticing something was up…”
“Will you stop fretting? Glorfindel and Maglor are lovely but well… look, they’re both veterans of lots of insane wars. And even I can only take so much reminiscing, no matter how violent, before I start getting bored (although you’d be amazed at some of the dirt Maglor told me about Daddy this morning…).”
Legolas felt relief seeping back in again, but remained cautious this time to make sure he didn’t stick his foot in his mouth.
“Anyway, I can’t be having my slave wandering about in the state YOU’RE in,” said Kalina. “But first, I suggest you clean my boots as a lesson for doubting me. And Maglor managed to get overexcited and I’ve got Noldor spooge on this one.” Kalina prodded Legolas in the head with the offending footwear as he began to get to his knees.
“Uhm… what should I clean them with?” he asked cautiously. Kalina smiled.
“Your tongue. That’s what you get for being all uptight and possessive,” she replied sweetly. “Now lick my boots nice and shiny clean and all will be forgiven and forgotten.”
Legolas stared at Kalina’s boots, then shrugged. At least she wasn’t forcing him eat that infamous courgette, and there was a lot of far nastier things he was willing to do to cement his position as Kalina’s primary fuckpuppet.
He threw himself into licking and polishing her boots until the black leather gleamed enough to appease her. “That will do nicely,” said Kalina, pushing Legolas back with her foot. “Now do I need to put a leash on you or are you going to follow me obediently back to my room?”
“I think I’ll walk,” said Legolas, noticing Elrond approaching as he got to his feet.
“Have you seen Maglor? I haven’t seen him since he got here,” muttered Elrond. “And what happened to you?” he demanded, looking accusingly at Legolas. He shrugged guiltily and said nothing.
“Aragorn managed to upset his hair,” whispered Kalina.
“Ohhh… well that explains why I saw Aragorn looking somewhat battered. Anyway where is your Uncle Maglor?” demanded Elrond of his daughter.
“I saw him heading off with Uncle Glorfindel somewhere,” said Kalina. “Probably smoking opium in Glorfindel’s room,” she suggested.
“Last I saw of him, Maglor was far more into his laudanum than opium,” said Elrond inattentively. His gaze turned towards his shed, blinking in vague confusion. “Did someone move that shed or is it just me?” he asked. Kalina shrugged and made an incomprehensible noise indicating she neither knew nor cared.
“How much have you been smoking today?” asked Kalina, pointedly. Elrond narrowed his eyes at her.
“Never you mind. Daddy’s under a lot of stress right now, so don’t accuse him of being a negligent dopefiend,” he said defensively.
“Sorry,” said Kalina. Elrond sighed.
“I’m sorry. I’m just a little flustered right now. Now where has that wretched elf got to?” Elrond hugged his daughter briefly, and wondered why she had traces of whipped cream in her hair, then decided it was best not to speculate. He wandered off, deciding to try Glorfindel’s just in case they were lurking in there getting high.
“Now where were we?” asked Kalina, turning back to Legolas.
“I was about to trail meekly behind my Mistress to her boudoir and grovel before her and do her bidding?” tried Legolas optimistically. He smiled hopefully at Kalina.
“That’s the one. Come along pretty minion,” said Kalina, really wishing she did have him on a collar and leash to drag him along behind her for the sake of emphasis.