secret Love

CHAPTER 29: PAIN
Severus hadn’t left his lab for almost three whole days now, almost as he had to attend the evening meals of course. He was lucky that the autumn holidays (a/n: i have no idea what those are called in English) had started just last weekend, giving him enough time to work on the potion.

Albus had asked him on numerous occasions what was going on. He had even paid him some unexpected visits in hope to find out something more. Unfortunately for him, Severus had kept his mouth shut, although he of course knew that Albus must have some ideas.

The Potions master was now ready to administer the draft to one of the cats. But which one? He eyed them both closely and decided to go for Goofy, Xavier seemed manlier to him somehow. He grabbed the cat and injected the fluid with a sharp needle, this would allow the potion to immediately enter its bloodstream and therefore quicken up the progress.

Severus examined the cat closely, wondering what would happen next. Goofy seemed a bit dazed, but further than that he couldn’t notice anything amiss. Just as he was about to put it on the floor, the cat started to squirm in his hands, clawing his arms and meowing loudly. Its body started to tremble and it looked Severus in the eye; almost seeming to question him what in the hell the potions master had done to him and why?

Severus didn’t dare to give the cat anything to calm down as it could interfere with the potions effects. All he could do was hold it tight and to stop it from hurting itself and if that meant that he was being hurt instead: so be it. A couple of clawing paws was nothing compared to the crucio curse anyway.

After a couple of minutes, Goofy finally started to calm down and fell asleep in Severus’ bloodstained arms. Snape lay the cat down in its basket. Before he went to the bathroom to wash his arms and hand, covering them with an ointment afterwards, which would speed up the heeling progress. By tomorrow morning the vivid red marks would be all but gone. When he looked at the huge olden wooden clock, which was standing imposingly in his lab, he realized he was already late for supper. Glancing at Goofy he decided that it would be probably safe enough to leave the two cats alone for a couple of minutes.

So he raced down the corridors, to be able to be back as soon as possible. He was glad to have his eyesight back. His vision still blurred for time to time, but he figured that, that would be soon gone as well.

As he entered the Great Hall, he thanked whoever had designed the place for making a door just behind the Head Table. This way almost no one noticed his tardiness. Albus of course DID and he shot him a questioning glance as his eyes fell on the red marks on the potions master’s hands, which was answered with a blank expression. He sat down and ate his meal as quickly as he could. Well if one could call it a meal: he took one chicken wing, some carrots and a spoon of mashed potatoes. He even forego desert altogether. As he stood up to leave, he felt a hand on his shoulder. “And are you making any progress?”

“Yes, I am. I administered the potion just before dinner.”

“Oh and?”

“It’s too soon to tell yet. He seemed to be doing fine when I left him. I will both give them an aphrodisiac tomorrow. If all goes well, I will have the results before nightfall.” The potions master replied.

“Thank you, Severus. If I can be of any assistance somehow, then please let me know.”

“There is not much to do in this state.” Snape told the Elf.

“Oh alright. Shall I come to your office tomorrow evening then?” Legolas suggested.

“If you wish.” With that, Severus quickly left the Great Hall.


Thankfully Goofy made it safely through the night. Severus felt a rush of excitement going through his body as he held a bottle with a strong aphrodisiac. If all went well, it would be one of the greatest discoveries as of late. Although the author of the book might have been the first to make the correct potion, no records were ever found to state that it had been successfully made, which meant that Severus would get a lot of credit for his work. And like almost everyone else Severus liked to be respected.

He walked towards their food dishes and put some droplets in them and mixed it with their food. Both cats slowly approached the dishes, drawn by the scent that was now emanating from it. After they had finished their meals, all Severus could do was sit there and wait.

He had made the potion pretty strong to make sure that he didn’t have to sit there endless hours before the mating actually begun.

After an hour Severus rose tiredly from his chair. He had definitely had not enough sleep these last couple of days. Both cats were now dozing in their baskets, tired from their activities from before. He gently lifted Goofy and took the purring cat down to his lab. Thankfully it was too early for anyone to be creeping around the corridors like let’s say Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy.

He put his cat on a chair, while he collected his things. He wondered whether the potion had really worked. The good thing was that Goofy had showed all the signs of a cat in heat, not that Severus was too happy about that fact as the cat’s meowing had kept him awake for almost the entire night.

Snape quickly sterilized his hands with a simple anti-bacteria spell, before grabbing the needle, which he would use to draw a sample of blood from the animal.

Goofy wasn’t stupid. When he saw the needle he made a run for it, seemingly to remember

The last time when Severus had used the instrument. Snape dived after him, but the cat was way too fast for him; jumping on and off the furniture or crawling beneath. Severus growled in frustration as he toppled over his working table, bruising his left cheek and arm in the progress. “YOU BLASTED ANIMAL!!” he yelled. “Fine have it your way, I’ll catch you once I have returned from breakfast, ‘cause I will catch you! You can count on that mister!” he whispered threatingly.

Goofy looked curiously at him from under a closet, before starting to lick its paws indifferently. Severus gave the animal one more glare, before briskly walking out of his lab.

He didn’t know why, but for some reason he didn’t feel like eating alone right now. The last couple of days he had spend being locked up in his room, of course enjoying the solitude it provided, but now…

He just hated the fact that he still hadn’t heard anything from Remus Lupin. He had actually tried to write a song for him, but somehow he couldn’t find the words to express the feelings he was experiencing right now. The man was on his mind for every waking moment, he even visited him in his dreams and haunted him in his nightmares as well. He just didn’t understand why this man seemed to mean so much to him. For all his life he had been able to lock his feelings inside, only now they started to bubble towards the surface, which was annoying him a lot.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and headed down the Great Hall to have some breakfast.

As was usual as of late he ate in silence. His bruised face gaining him some curious sideway glances form his colleagues. But as always he ignored them and made his way back to his rooms again.

Severus softly sneaked towards the cat grabbing it in its neck and dragging it towards his desk where the needle still lied to be used. He once more sterilized his hands one by one before drawing some blood from Goofy.

As soon as he was done the cat jumped off the table and hit under the closet again. Severus rolled his eyes at it as he took a vial from his desk. He let three drops of blood fall into it and stirred it carefully with his wand. After a couple of minutes the fluid inside turned a peakish pink.

The potions master stared at the object in front of him with disbelief. “Unfucking believable!” he whispered. “This can’t be right! I actually succeeded on my first attempt.” He muttered amazed, he snorted before continuing: “Well that’s unusual as of late. By Merlin, I actually made a cat pregnant! I can’t believe it.” I need to tell someone! Who? D’uh Legolas of course!

He dashed out of his room and run back towards the Great Hall. He hoped the Elf was there by now.

Thankfully he was………..

Severus immediately approached him, with a real smile on his face.

One look at the potions master told Legolas enough of what he needed to know. He shoved his chair backwards and gave the man a massive hug. “Thank you so much! I knew you could do it! This is brilliant, YOU are brilliant!” he said laughing.

The entire hall stared at them open mouthed, but the two males didn’t care. They were grinning like mad men by now. Legolas turned around to face a very confused looking Aragorn. “Love, could you please come with us. I believe Severus has something to show you.”

“Uhm sure.” The trio started to walk away, but Albus quickly drew the Potions master’s attention. “Severus could you perhaps…”

“Yes Albus, you may join us. I would have thought you would have figured everything out by now!” Snape smirked.

>>>

So this means that we can actually conceive a child?”

“Well I haven’t tested it on humans yet, but with some slight alterations I think this potion might do the trick yes.”

“By Elbereth, that’s just … incredible. I.. I am at a loss for words…. Thank you so much Severus. You have no idea how helpful this potion could be to us.”

“And to the entire wizardry world as well. For so many gay men their ultimate wish can now come true. They can get a baby, which is entirely theirs.” Albus interjected smiling.

“That’s if the potion works on people as well.”

“There is only one way to find out: test it on me.”

“But love, are you sure? What about your people? Do you not think they will find it odd when their king starts having mood swings? And I have heard lots of stories of how human women can get when they are with child. Mind you, for a human male it might even be worse.”

“Look, I do not think your father will have that much problems with this as long as you are not the one carrying the child, since it isn’t very masculine, now is it? Besides I have always wanted to know what it feels like to have someone growing inside of you. Also if everything goes well I promise that you may carry our second child.” Aragorn winked.

“Planning ahead are we dear? But alright, I agree. I think it would be best if you would carry our first child. This way Severus can also check whether the potion works correctly on humans, it might be an entirely different story with Elves.”

Severus watched the discussion in silence. He wondered what kind of effects this potion would have on the gay population of the wizardry world. Would they be more accepted, now they could hopefully conceive children on their own? Or would they be hunted down by people who didn’t want their ‘disease’ to spread? And would their children be homosexual as well? If so, it could have major effects for the scientists and again for the wizard population. Up ‘till now scientists can only guess to where homosexuality comes from. Is it some gene strings, education, some hype, a disease, or whatever idea someone came up with.

But if it really is in someone’s DNA then why isn’t there at least one gay person in every generation of a family, or stays half of them inside the closet?

What would happen if suddenly lots of gay people would be born? What effect would it have on the population? Maybe none, but one couldn’t be sure. What if the people would start to divide into groups: gays, bisexuals, straights – anti or pro. Even now some gay people live in their own world. What happens if suddenly 50% of the population is gay?

“Severus?……. Severus are you in there?”

The Potions master wildly blinked his eyes, before focussing on the three men in front of him. “Right, meet me this evening after dinner in the hospital wing. Please do not tell anyone about this potion yet. Do not even discuss it outside these walls. You never know who’s listening. I hope you can manage that?!”

“Of course, once again: thank you Severus.”

Snape nodded at him, before turning around to sit behind his desk to start making alterations.

>>>>>

“Uhm right, Aragorn could you please change into this bathrobe. Poppy and I will need to examine you once the changes start to take please. I must remind you that the progress can be pretty painful as organs have to be moved around, made and altered.

Also I am still not sure whether this potion will work and whether it has some dangerous side effects. This is why I need you to tell me everything you experience once you have taken the potion, this means on the physical and emotional level. I want you to keep a log where you will write all of this down.

Now you can change yourself in there.” Severus said, pointing towards Poppy’s office and trusting the bathrobe in the King’s hands.

Severus had already discussed the concerns he was having about distributing the potion for whole the wizardry world to buy, with Albus. Of course they wouldn’t know whether the potion really worked for around 13 years, as when the couple would return to their own world it would take a whole lot longer, in the wizards point of few, for the pregnancy to be complete.

Therefore they would wait how the world would evolve in that time period and when the people were ready they would start to distribute it. They would of course screen the upcoming parents thoroughly like an adopting agency would do. This to prevent for people like Lucius Malfoy, who is clearly unfit to be a parent as he doesn't show his son any love, to have a child. Plus it would make people think twice before taking a baby.¨Alright, I am ready.¨ Aragorn informed them, putting his clothes on a chair nearby.¨Okay try to drink this in one big gulp.¨Aragorn did as he was told.¨I could have injected it in your bloodstream, but this way the progress will go more gradually, giving your body more time to adjust.¨ Severus explained to him. ¨Now inform me if you feel anything out of the ordinary.¨Poppy, Albus, Severus, Legolas and Aragorn all waited patiently. Aragorn locked his eyes with Legolas, who in return grabbed his hands and pulled him close. Please let everything go alright. he prayed, out loud he asked: “How are you feeling, love?”
“I don’t know. I feel nothing strange as to yet, except for the warmth which seems to be spreading inside my stomach.”

Severus immediately made a note.

Aragorn looked up at him nervously: “Is that a good thing?”

“Like I said before: I do not know what it feels like and I can hardly compare your anatomy to that of a cat. The only thing I do know is that it must be a painful progress.”

“Right, thank you kindly for that information, Severus.” Aragorn gulped.

Suddenly he grabbed a hold of his stomach.

“Tell me what you feel.” Severus requested.

“Pain.” He replied through clenched teeth.

Legolas soothingly rubbed his back, worry showing in his eyes. Had they done wrong to follow this procedure through?

The King doubled over with pain by now. He started to pant and had to gasp for breath. He struggled to keep his breathing even. Transpiration started to form on his brow. It was not long before he wasn’t even able to stand up without any support. So Legolas dragged him over to the nearest hospital bed.

“Aragorn, I need you to tell me exactly what you feel.” Severus urged him.

“It feels like my stomach is being turned inside out, like suddenly there isn’t enough room in my belly anymore and they all need to make more place for the new organs. So they try their hardest to enlarge my belly as good as possible.” He gasped, before continuing. Tears op pain, who he could no longer fight back, had started to form in his eyes. “I feel like I have got to throw up. But the most painful thing of all is…” he paused for a second to catch his breath. “the extra hole that seems to be starting to form down below. It feels like my flesh is being burned away to make a new opening. Or maybe burned isn’t the correct word, more like torn apart or ripped or something.” As he told this his robe started to stain red. Suddenly he grabbed a cushion in a death grip, his face contorting with pain. He shut his eyes tightly, totally focussing on his breathing. After a couple of seconds the pain seemed to go away and his face started to relax once more, while his breathing became more regular. He let out a deep sigh. “If you do not mind, I would like to go to sleep now.” He said, opening his eyes tiredly and without even awaiting a response he fell asleep.Legolas looked at him worried. ¨I hope he's going to be alright.¨¨So do we all, my friend. I think it's best to let him rest for now. Come on let's go Severus, Poppy.¨ Albus ordered them. ¨When he awakens Legolas, could you please let me know?¨ Severus asked.
¨But of course.¨