Mary Goes to Mirkwood

Featuring: Cameo appearances from both our guest Mystery Author, as the Canary, and from our celebrity guest Elf, as the Swan.

Summary: The Royal Mirkwood Party, with Mary and Mal, arrives at the court of Lord Bard. The good Lord of Dale demands a private audience with the mortal females to make sure they are not being abused at the hands of the ElvenKing. Meanwhile, Sheraiah is in Mirkwood surrounded by Middle-earth's most eligible bachelors: Legolas, Elladan, Elrohir and Haldir, oh, and Gimli.

Warning: Adult sexual situations, nudity, naughty physical examinations

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~


~ Bird's of a Feather ~


"It was good to see you. May you have an enjoyable time while you are here," the Swan said.

"Safe journey to you," answered Thranduil, and the Swan gave a nod. The Canary rocked back and forth on her heels impatiently. Morning was breaking; travel was faster before the sun rose and heated the horses. The Canary scratched at her mask, obviously wishing to remove it.

"And to you," said the Swan, nodding his head. "Be safe," he added.

"Be wise," said the King, eyes smiling.

For the first time in the conversation, the Swan smiled, and thennnednned, shaking his head merrily at the joke. As he turned away, he motioned the Canary to her horse, and they both mounted. They began to ride off at a leisurely pace, when suddenly the Swan turned his horse and the Canary followed suit.

The Swan's hands were no longer on his reins, for he had pulled his hood up over his head and was untying his mask. With his face hidden in shadow, they rode close the inn, and the Swan cast something in King Thranduil's direction.

The King caught the feathered mask easily, and he smirked briefly before walking back inside.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Mary ~


"My lady." That voice was familiar. "My lady." And the way that hand tentatively shook my bare shoulder was familiar, too.

"My lady." The familiarity of the situation was almost enough to convince me to stay asleep and not pay attention to Thaladir's attempts to wake me up. We were not in Mirkwood now, and I felt as if I had only drifted off just a few moments before. The urge to turn on my side and pull the covers all the way up and over my head would have been hard to resist if not for one thing. Something was making my nose twitch.

It was an aroma. An irresistible a. Aa. And an impossible aroma. Dared I open my eyes?

"My lady." I opened them. And there, hovering above me was a drinking bowl from which the tempting aroma visibly rose in a steaming cloud. As if I was a puppet tied to a string, I sat right up and grabbed at the brew with both hands. The seneschal kept one careful hand on it as well, as I brought it to my lips and sipped.

"Coffee?" I was amazed. "I didn't think they served this here." Mal had told me how difficult it was to find the beans she had given me, when she had travelled here with Thaladir during the winter seasonal festivities, and how no one at this inn had ever heard of it.

Before then, that is. According to Thaladir, it has subsequently become one of the most popular drinks on the menu. And all because of the king's concubine's interest in it while she dashed about the town on her quest. Everyone had to have a taste of what they believed was the latest rage in Mirkwood, and coffee was rumored to be served in all the best houses in Esgaroth these days.

I could not tell if the seneschal approved of such a turn of events, but he did sound a little proud. He would not look me in the face, however, so it was hard to judge his attitude. Instead, he opened the window shutters and bright daylight accosted my eyes, causing me to squint and blink because I could not let go of my coffee long enough to cover them.

As he spoke of Mal's contribution to the local culinary culture, with his back turned, I drank some more of the delicious bitter brew and wondered when the grouchy elf was ever going to be friendly to me. And with slowly dawning horror, I realized why Thaladir was keeping his head turned away, I was completely uncovered to my waist -- and bare naked.

"Goodness!" I exclaimed, while trying not to slosh coffee all over the sheets and blankets as I hurriedly pulled them up to my chin. "Why didn't you say something? You usually can't wait to pounce on my unseemly behavior." The seneschal patiently explained that he could not hold me, a mere mortal, responsible for my actions while I was in a state of sleep-deprivation.

"Furthermore," he added, "although I usually disapprove of the use of stimulants to reach a state of alertness, I am enormously gratified to learn that, in this case, it obviously has had a beneficial outcome." He continued on briskly about how he would rather that I notice my own transgressions against protocol, and take steps to correct them, without his reminding me.

"Whatever," I sighed. Contradictorily, I felt absurdly let down by his unwillingness to speak sharply to me immediately, so that I could have covered myself, just moments after wishing he would never do it again. "Could you please find me my dress?"

Reluctantly, I handed him the drinking bowl in exchange for the gown and he turned away again as I slipped it over myself. In turn, I knelt on the mattress with my back to him, for fastening, after retrieving my coffee from his hands.

And then I remembered something else. As soon as I felt that the seneschal had fastened enough hooks for me to remain decently covered if I moved around, I bent forward and lifted one of the pillows. Thaladir stretched his arms to reach me but I was too busy looking through the bed linens or under the other pillow and then under the covers for him to get a good grab on the shifting garment.

"My lady, it would be better if you were to remain still…" he began.

"Yes, sorry, but I have to find something. And I think it's gone. It's gone!" In shock, I sat back up straight and spilled most of my coffee over the front of my gown when I did so. Luckily it had cooled off and did not scald me. As Thaladir went to find and dampen a small towel for me to spot-clean my bodice with, I struggled between feeling angered and delighted.

On the one hand, why would that elf do such an awful thing as steal the seneschal's sash? It made me mad, because I had told him how much Thaladir hated me already, and now this was just one more reason for him to keep on g thg that. But, on the other hand, it was romantic to think that my mysterious companion wanted a token, a memento, by which to remember our night together.

"I told him, and the king told him, to be careful with it," I said to Thaladir when he returned with the towel. "So don't blame me." Without reply, the seneschal reached within his sleeve and pulled out the sash, neatly folded, from within.

"Oh," I said. "Well, good, wonderful, it's safe!" I really was happy, and willing to give up the previous romantic notions gladly, in exchange for not incurring any more of Thaladir's ill will. "Did you…talk to him, when he gave you that?" The seneschal shook his head.

"It was beside your pillow," he explained, before gesturing for me to turn my back to him, and proceeded to finish fastening my now damp gown. I asked him if he would find Miriel and have her bring me a clean dress. I was tempted to ask if there was time to take another bath, but decided not to push it.

"My lady, it appears that some articles of your clothing are missing." It took a moment for the words to sink in. "Most notably," he added, "your undergarments. I cannot seem to find them anywhere." As I thought about what I was going to say, he went out into the sitting room and returned with a tray that bore some simple breakfast foods, and a small pot that I hoped was more coffee.

"Obviously, Your Excellency," I lied, as he placed the tray on my lap, "that wicked elf must have stolen them." The seneschal, frowning severely, stiffened and his eyes flickered with disbelief. "He was very wicked," I explained. "And that makes twice in the last two days that someone has stolen my underpants! How often do you think that happens?"

I almost regretted my words because it is foolish to think I could ever get away with lying to Thaladir. He saw through me every time I tried. But it was easier to let him think I might be telling the truth, than to flat out admit to deliberately ignoring proper protocol and abandoning my undergarments. I waited for him to challenge me, but he excused himself to go fetch Miriel, and some clean clothes for me.


~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Mal ~

It felt like I hadn't slept at all when Ithilwen woke me up. I was lost at first, and failed to make the connection between the night of exhaustive pleasure and this much too early morning. The light that came in from all the windows seemed to blind me, and the floorboards were unmercifully cold against my bare feet. I wanted to curl up in bed again, with the king's arms around me, and I could use a little elf-magic for my bottom too. A kiss or two at the very least.

But Thranduil was already in the common room, having his morning meal, said the elleth in an unbearably brisk voice. This was probably the first time I wanted to tell her to go away. I didn't, of course. And not only because of Thaladir's masterful concubine training. I couldn't take the risk of being accused of having bad squirrel manners, even if a sensible elleth like Ithilwen would never believe such a silly tale. At least she knew where the king had met me, or so I hoped.

The water she poured into a basin now placed on the bench was cold too. At least it felt cold, and I tried to manage with as little of it as possible. It was nice to get some clothes on again, and it couldn't have taken many minutes before I was ready to join the rest of the royal party downstairs.

The king was in a good mood, Helca looked satisfied, and Mary was nowhere to be seen. She must feel even worse than I had, and my suspicions were confirmed when I noticed the seneschal with a breakfast tray. She must be in a bad condition then, if Miriel couldn't leave her side. I felt a pang of guilt. Even if it was just a well-deserved hangover, the knowledge that I had stolen the king from her this night made me feel so bad. And it had been an extremely good night too. The least I could do was to see how she was doing.

Before I could take the tray from Thaladir, the king beckoned me to join him at the table. He drew me close to his side, saying that his seneschal took great pleasure in performing this task this morning, according to his own words. It was true that the loyal elf seemed to have no love for Mary, but hadn't thought that he could be so mean that he wanted to gloat at her when she was unwell. And the king did nothing to stop him!

Instead, Thranduil soothed my rising irritation with a quick embrace, and before I knew it, I was seated beside him. He raised an eyebrow at my squirming, but I assured him that I was very comfortable on the sheepskin that now covered the wooden benches. I resisted giving him a fat kiss for his consideration of my very self-inflicted soreness. That would probably have been an unforgivable example of an appalling display of excessive affection in public.

Immediately after breakfast, Ithilwen and Miriel, who had joined us a little later, went to pack the few items we had brought to our rooms. Helca left as well, and Thranduil rose to go to the stable to personally see to Amarth. I hoped the magnificent, but very bad-tempered, stallion hadn't killed or mutilated any of the stable-hands during the night. The royal honour guard in their splendid green garb drew admiring glances from several other tables when they left the room. I couldn't blame them. Such a large group of elves, as handsome as they were deadly, must be a very rare sight even at this inn.

Only Anarion remained seated with me, and I got a rare chance to talk a little with my shy door-guard, who had also been, for a brief time, my very ardent lover. He was excited about the whole trip and considered himself fortunate to have been chosen to travel with us. I was sure the young elf had well earned his place in the king's escort with watchfulness and weapon skills; Thaladir would hardly pick a group of warriors for their good looks or pure hearts.

We spoke a little about different things, and in particular about Ithilwen, a topic Anarion seemed never to tire of. It was touching to hear in what high regard he held her, and, from what I knew, his feelings were reciprocated.

Then my attention was caught by a slightly raised voice, and, as I turned my head towards the entrance, I saw the inn-keeper discussing something with Thaladir. There seemed to be some new kind of argument regarding our rooms. The elf kept saying that not all the assigned rooms had been fully used, and therefore the payment ought to be reduced, as there would be no need to wash the sheets of at least three beds. The man argued that it was hardly his fault if the Elvenking had so poor command over his house-folk that he couldn't keep them in their designated beds. I did not hear the seneschal's reply, but his voice was dangerously low, and in the end I saw the inn-keeper return a handful of coins. I almost felt sorry for the poor man.

Anarion excused himself and went to help Ithilwen and Miriel to carry down our things, and soon the four of us were out on the landing, waiting for the carriage. Mary arrived just before our transport, and she seemed to have made a quick recovery from whatever had ailed her. But then she used to say that coffee was the best cure for everything, next to the king. Funny that they served it here now, when I had such a trouble finding some this winter.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Sheraiah ~

Legolas was gone when I woke, his duties calling him away before sunrise. I couldn't tell how late in the morning it was, but I figured it was far later than an elf would have risen since Mirime was again in the room waiting for me, this time with a tray of fruit, cheese, and bread and a carafe of water.

As soon as I had eaten and dressed in a loose, caftan-like garment, the elleth lead me through a doorway to a bathing chamber like nothing I had seen in Rivendell. It was amazing and I stopped dead in my tracks to stare for several minutes. The room wasn't terribly large, and it had a high ceiling carved out of the natural rock.

Here and there I could see what looked like quartz crystals sticking out of the rock. They reminded me of stars in a night sky against the dark rock of the ceiling. The walls were a huge, intricate mosaic of a woodland scene complete with archers. The floor was also tiled in a deep green. All in all it was a very masculine bathing chamber and it didn't take a genius to figure out who it belonged to.

Eventually, Mirime coaxed me into the pool of steaming water. I managed to dissuade her from bathing me, insisting that I was capable of doing it myself. She left me on my own then, and I bathed and soaked to my heart's content. The pool had a current that cycled the water, which I thought was rather ingenious. The elleth appeared like magic as soon as I decided that I was done and, dressed in the caftan-thing again, we returned to my room.

She had laid a pretty dress out for me to wear, but I had other ideas. Ignoring the garment laid out on the freshly made bed, I walked to one of the wardrobes and began to rummage through it. I could tell that she was a bit taken aback by my, to her, bizarre behavior but I didn't really know how to explain to her what I wanted. I'd have to wait until the twins or Haldir showed up to do that, so in the meantime, I'd have to just risk upsetting her a bit.

After a few minutes of digging, I had an outfit for the day. The elven undies I completely ignored in favor of my own, the sight of which prompted a gasp of shock from Mirime. Once suitably attired in my chosen undergarments, I pulled on the black leggings, rose silk shirt and wine colored suede tunic.

The tunic, while traditionally a male's garment, was undeniably feminine in cut. The sleeveless bodice mimicked my corsets, lacing tightly and pushing my bosom up, accenting my waistline. It flared out over the hips, the hem ending at my knees. The neckline and hem were embroidered with a pattern of flowers in the same shade as the shirt and green leaves and vines.

There were boots of the same shade as the tunic. I felt like something out of a fairytale as I twirled in front of the long mirror in my room. Like the nice elleth she was, I'm sure that Mirime was scandalized, but she said nothing as she put away the dress and the too-modest undies that went with it.

I sat on the bed, intending to brush out my hair and braid it in the single braid down my back that I favored for simplicity's sake, but I guess that my assistant had had enough of my independence and decided that she needed to do at least one of the things that she had been charged with doing. She took the brush from my hand and soon had my somewhat difficult locks under control. She braided the front into an intricate cap, but left the back loose. I liked it and thanked her with a smile. That must have soothed her ruffled feelings, because she smiled back sweetly. There was a knock at the door then and Mirime went to answer it.

Haldir stood outside the door wearing the one and only sheepish expression I had ever seen on his face.

"Am I welcome?" he asked.

"Of course you are! Haldir, you didn't mean any harm when you sleep-spelled me. You were trying to help, I know that. Just don't ever do it again, though, okay?" I had to bite my lip not to smile. I didn't want to hurt his pride, but his sheepishness was just cute! Oh, if I wasn't already doing the horizontal bop with Legolas on a regular basis, I would jump his bones in a millisecond! Yummy, with a spoon, that elf was a hottie! "Besides, two little birds told me that Legolas was torturing you for it enough for both of us. Relax, you're forgiven."

"Thank you," he said, taking my hand. "You are more generous than I deserve." Definitely yummy with a spoon! If he kept this up, I was going to be a puddle on the floor.

"Accidents happen, don't worry about it. Where are the others?" I needed to get him talking about something else. I really liked Haldir a lot, but I'd never been intimate with him and really didn't want to open that can of worms at the moment. I also didn't want there to be any more tension between him and Legolas than there already was over the sleep spell thing.

"The dwarf is shoving an incredible amount of food into his face and the twins said that they wished to visit the stables before they came to see you. You tend to sleep rather late, Rai." There was humor in his voiow aow and I breathed easier. This was the Haldir that I was used to.

"I tend to have good reason for sleeping in," I retorted, smirking at him. He chuckled, shaking his head.

"I believe the phrase is 'too much information'," he said with a laugh. Another knock sounded at the door then and the rest of my guys came in. I grinned at them, bouncing up and down on the balls of my feet.

"Hi, guys! What are we going to do first?"

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Mary ~

Despite the seneschal's best efforts, the royal party started off for Lord Bard II's estate later than anticipated. There had been a delay of our carriage at the inn. Along with the confusion of the king's elven escort assembling in front with their own mounts, and Amarth twitching and snorting under the fawning care of two brave elf-horsemen, the delay had almost sent Thaladir into a snit.

But the innkeeper advised him that none of his stable-hands had returned to work that morning, after being driven out in fear the day before. Apparently, the king's mighty war steed had felt confined by the narrow stalls in the human-made stable, and had kicked out the walls on either side of him to make more room. The seneschal grimly paid out several silver coins into the suddenly more cheerful innkeeper's hands. I looked around for Mal, and the king.

When I spotted Thranduil in the crowd, not a difficult feat, his eyes flicked to mine for a too brief moment, then returned back to whomever he was speaking with. It felt as if a cloud had passed over a suddenly more brilliant sun. Feeling a little lonely, I walked further down the porch to look at the lake.

There was a small stairway down to the shoreline, where gentle waves lapped over smoothed stones. The water was crystal clear and I could see tiny fish, with silvery scales that flashed in the morning sunlight, darting about in the shallows. I had just about talked myself into removing my shoes and stockings to wade amongst the little glittery creatures, when a voice stopped me.

"How was your night?"

"Your friend was nice." I answered without turning to face him. "He was very nice. But he wasn't you." Despite my words, I was interested in more information about my invisible bed companion. He may not have been Thranduil, but he was worthy of remembrance. "Did you talk to him today?"

I suddenly realized what he had come to do. And I was not sure I was ready yet, I was just getting used to my freedom. I took a few cautious steps away from him, as if I was interested in investigating the shoreline a bit more.

"Were you disappointed?" he asked.

"You can't tell, can you?" I teased, while trying not to appear as if I was avoiding letting him touch me.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked. "Perhaps tonight? When we are alone?" That might be fun, to describe all the things the mystery elf and I had done. Maybe the king would try to re-enact some of the more delicious episodes.

"Are we going to be alone tonight?" I asked.

"Most assuredly," replied the king.

"In that case, I would rather not waste any time with you in bed talking about anything." I turned to face him. "Go ahead."

A kiss was not required, but I was not going to protest Thranduil's chosen method for reconnecting with his bridge. He took my breath away, crushing me to him in his embrace as he plundered both my mouth and my thoughts simultaneously. He broke off the kiss and flashed me his most dazz gri grin.

"You were not so disappointed, last night, after all," he said with a tone of self-satisfaction.

"He still wasn't you."

It was the seneschal who found us, although he did not interrupt us but merely stood at a safe distance away and stared out over the water.

"I believe the carriage is being brought around for boarding," said the king. I was sorry I could not kiss him some more while I had the chance. But Thaladir was having a difficult enough time with all the unforeseen delays and haggling with the innkeeper. After he had taken such good care of me that morning, I felt as if I owed it to him to behave in a seemly fashion.

The lingering sensation of that kiss made my lips tingle for many miles in the carriage. And, more than once I had to shake myself awake to see what could be seen out the windows. Miriel was no longer able to serve as a travel guide; she had never been to Lord Bard II's estate. But Helca was suddenly quite helpful, or was determined to show off as much as possible now that I was asking questions that only she could answer. Mal had fallen asleep almost instantly, so she was blissfully oblivious to the suddenly chatty elleth.

The icy elf-maiden had been to this area on quite a few occasions, it seems, when she was a younger elleth and before her father had sailed from Middle-earth. He had been Mirkwood's representative in matters of trade and commerce in the township itself, and a frequent visitor to Bard's inherited estate, for at that time it was the court of Lord Brand, father to Lord Bard II, and son of Bard the Bowman.

For some reason, she seemed a little offended that the reigning Lord was showing an interest in us two mortals, enough to have insisted we be invited to the wedding feast he was hosting. I thought about explaining to her what the king had told Mal and me, it was truly not the honor she thought it was. But I kept the truth to myself.

When Thranduil had travelled to Dale, before the spring floods had begun, he had discovered that the entire region of Erebor was up in arms over rumors about the imprisonment of two mortal maids in the dungeons of Mirkwood. Lord Bard was being harangued to launch a rescue party into the elven realm. Mal's and my presence in his court, in good health and good spirits, seemed to be the only way to resolve the potentially hazardous situation. I just hoped it would be all over and done with quickly, the audience with Bard, the wedding, and the feasting, because all I could think about was being alone with the king.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Mal ~

I slept most of the way to Lord Bard II's estate and only woke up when we stopped at the moat, waiting for the drawbridge to be lowered, as Ithilwen informed me. I looked out the window and saw that the honour guard were now flanking the carriage, undoubtedly making an impressive sight. When we moved again, up a slight slope, I saw the impressive walls that I guessed surrounded the whole compound, and many buildings, small and large.

Finally, we stopped again and got out of the carriage. We had arrived at a stately manor-house and it seemed that all of the staff were lined up outside to greet us. A man in expensive-looking clothes was already clasping the king's arm, and the two of them seemed to be well acquainted. Then, he and Thaladir bowed to each other, and after that, he followed the king to where we were standing. Thranduil introduced us, and Lord Bard II proceeded by lifting our hands to his lips in a gallant greeting.

The Lord of Dale was a handsome man. He appeared to be in his early fifties, and the years had been good to him. The hint of grey at his temples only enhanced the blondness of his hair and well-kept beard. He was smiling heartily, an honest smile that went all the way to his blue eyes, which were shining with mirth. I immediately took a liking to him.

His house was very nice as well, and I looked forward to seeing more of it than the corridors we passed through to get to the guest wing. My room was lovely, a dream in white and roses, and from the squeals of delight I heard, Mary was satisfied with hers as well. A small lunch had been set on a table in the residence reserved for Ithilwen and Miriel, and we all ate heartily, until a blushing chambermaid discreetly informed us that a bath had been prepared for the ladies. She had probably not seen many elves before, because she looked a lot at Miriel's ears and seemed relieved when the elleth told her kindly that we would manage very well on our own in the bathing chamber.

After our bath, Mary and I found ourselves in a room that could have been taken from a painting of a Turkish harem. It was fairly large, and though the floor was cold white marble, it was still very cosy because of the soft-coloured hangings on the walls. These draperies had fringes and tassels, and there were cushions in the same style on the benches and chairs.

The temperature was very pleasant, and we only needed to put on a minimum of underwear to feel comfortable sitting down in front of a large mirror while Ithilwen and Miriel cared for our hair. They chatted happily with each other as their skilful fingers combed, braided and formed our locks in the way they deemed best for this occasion. But, before they were finished, we were interrupted by a distinct knock on the door.

A smiling Lord Bard II entered the room, followed by a serious-looking Thaladir. A gesture from the seneschal sent the ellith scurrying out of the room, and we were alone. I understood that the time had come for the examination the king had mentioned, the one that would assure the human ruler that Thranduil had not mistreated us in any of the horrible ways the locals seemed to have imagined.

"Is this the wild one, the squirrel girl?" the man asked Thaladir, pointing at me. "The other one looks less docile, if you ask me, but then you elves have a thing with the creatures of the wild."

"His Majesty brought both ladies from beyond the Misty Mountains," Thaladir replied dryly, "and to my knowledge, neither of them were raised under circumstances less civilized than those of your realm." I didn't hear anything else, but I'm sure he continued in a voice too faint for a human ear to catch, expressing his views on a realm where unseemly ceremonies were deemed necessary to free elves of accusations of violence.

The seneschal stood by the door with his arms crossed and a disapproving __expression on his face. Lord Bard seemed not to notice. He seated himself on a pompous chair, which suddenly looked like an absurd throne, and travelled with his glance over us, one at a time. His choice finally fell on Mary, and she went to him with the stoic calmness of a martyr. It surprised me, but also made me proud of her.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Mary ~

The first thing I noticed, when the carriage began to slow and I awoke with a start at the change in motion, was the scent of flowers. All along the road, which climbed up what must have been the only hill in an otherwise flat landscape, were planted exquisite varieties of spring blossoms. Their colorful display was even more glorious than the fragrance they emitted. Combined, both the sight and the smells provided a very welcoming atmosphere to the otherwise formidable fortification that sat atop this highest point, complete with moat and drawbridge.

Although the dark times were over, the scars of former pitched battles, or random forays by parties of raiding orcs, were still visible on the towering walls and turrets that surrounded what seemed to be more a tiny village than a single manor home. It must have been here that Lord Bard's father had fallen, with Thranduil fighting beside him, in the rarely mentioned last battle in Dale with the forces of the Dark Lord during the final days before the One Ring was destroyed.

The luxurious quarters we were escorted to were a sharp contrast to the spartan barracks I had pictured in my mind at first sight of the imposing outer edifice. The nosy Lord was courteous and pleasant, however, so I was not as uncomfortable entering his home as I thought I might have been. And, to my surprise, he seemed equally interested in my welfare as he was in Mal's. I was not used to being noticed when she was nearby. Especially as I had no claim to fame that could equal being raised by squirrels.

After lunch, Mal and I were taken to an enormous bathing and dressing area, to prepare for the wedding that was to take place at sunset in the beautiful formal garden that graced the inner courtyard of the mansion. There was a spacious bathing pool, made of gleaming white marble that had a golden glow in the dim candlelight. The king's concubine and I splashed about and speculated on how much fun it would be if Thranduil paid us a surprise visit while we were still naked.

Instead, after we had put on our newest underwear and sat to have our hair done, we were paid a visit from the curious Lord Bard himself, accompanied by Thaladir. The king's seneschal did not look at all pleased with any of it. I am sure it was a great strain on his nerves to enter such an obviously private area meant for ladies only. But he did not dare reprimand Bard under his own roof. Although I could tell he wished he could do so.

When the handsome, but nearly leering, Lord announced his intentions to personally examine us with only our underwear on, so that he could get an accurate view of our physical condition, I was not surprised. He had already nearly undressed both of us with his eyes; it was only a matter of time before he tried to satisfy his curiosity to its final lengths. But, I would be damned if I was going to let him remove my underpants.

I stood before him, and freely allowed the king into my mind to watch the entire examination. Every time Bard looked me in the eye, his smile would fade a little and his caresses became momentarily less intimate. I wished that Thaladir would come over and behead him, for the seneschal wore his sword openly, now that we were surrounded by men and a wall.

Our host asked me personal questions, which I answered tersely with a minimum of detail. No, I was not being abused. Yes, I considered myself well cared for in Mirkwood. No, I did not desire to remain in this place any longer than necessary after the wedding. Yes, I did enjoy the company of elves, even grouchy ones.

Licking his lips in a manner that reminded me of Renk, although with a much nicer tongue and more handsome mouth, the Lord removed my camisole and, after stroking my sides and belly and back, he reached his hands to my breasts.

"If you touch them, I might have to bite you," I warned. His hands paused, but then continued just up to the point where his fingers would have been cupping them, all the while keeping his eyes on mine. "You need the king's permission to touch those."

"Now there, you are wrong," replied the man with a chuckle, although he continued to keep his hands still. "You are presently under my protection and custody. I am the law in my own home."

"In either case, I will still have to bite you," I hissed. I did not even have to call on the king to come through me to get the message across that I meant what I threatened. "I will take that gorgeous nose right off of your face." His chuckles halted abruptly, and his gaze faltered momentarily into doubt. But he was not fazed in the least.

"Take a seat, and calm yourself," he said in a voice men usually use to tame a wild animal. "I do not wish to harm you; I am trying to help you."

"The only thing you can do to help me," I answered, "is to speed this whole night up so I can be alone with Thranduil sooner rather than later."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Mal ~


Lord Bard started by running his hands all over Mary's body, in a way that made me think of an octopus, a creature whose sense of feeling is greater than its eyesight. After a while, he grinned and said that, unfortunately, her camisole was obstructing his view. The garment was removed, but he let her keep her underpants on, and for once I think she was happy to wear them. The examination went on for a long time before the Lord declared that he was finished, but only for the time being, so there was no need for her to dress yet.

Then it was my turn. Like with Mary, he started by caressing every spot of naked skin on my body. His hands were pleasantly cool in the warm room, and unwillingly I began to wonder where he would touch me next. Perhaps on my shoulder, yes, and then my neck, and then... I closed my eyes, determined not to think, but just enjoy it. His touches were not unpleasant, and I might not have minded them at all, had but the occasion been different.

My eyes flew open when I fhim him cup my breasts, and I looked right into his face. He smiled reassuringly at me as he began to flick his thumbs over my nipples. It was very nice, and very obviously not a part of anything that could count as a physical examination. I told him that.

With a small sigh, he turned me away from him and told me to lift my arms so he could remove my camisole. The silky garment glided over my torso much too willingly, and I got an excellent view of the seneschal's face, now set in stone. He was staring straight at us, but I got the impression he wasn't seeing anything at all, as he didn't even react when Lord Bard embraced me from behind, resuming his attentions to my breasts.

I felt the man's hairy chin tickle against the nape of my neck, and then lower, along my spine all the way down to where my underpants began. His hands dropped slowly to my hips, and then he made a sudden movement, seating himself in the chair again, with me in his lap, facing sideways. He instructed me to hold him around the neck, so that I wouldn't fall when he proceeded to the final stage of the examination, which, according to him, could be somewhat exciting. He winked and I hid my face against his chest to make it easier to pretend that we were alone. This was just too embarrassing.

A finger slid over the smooth skin of my inner thigh slowly, but without hesitation, and found its way in under the silk of my boxers. He caressed me there, feather-like touches that sent shivers through my body. I thought I would go mad when he bowed his head to take a nipple into his mouth, and it was very difficult not to cry out. After that, I couldn't help parting my legs to let him touch me as he wished, over or under the silk.

The Lord of Dale continued his thorough examinations of my nether regions until I heard the seneschal clearing his throat very loudly. I looked up, blushing hard. The king was standing beside him, with eyes narrow as slits. Clearly, the show had gone beyond what he took pleasure in viewing. Lord Bard quickly realised that his time was up, and detached himself from me after giving me a final friendly pat on my backside. I hurried to join Mary.

"Very well, Thranduil," said the Lord of Dale. "I see that the enchanting ladies have not suffered any permanent harm while in your custody. This will be announced, so that you and your people will be relieved of the accusations towards you. I regret that the simpler folk may never rid themselves of thoughts of your famed dungeons, but they will be assured that said quarters were not in use this time."

The king nodded majestically, but there was a certain bitterness in his __expression. Our poor, misunderstood, noble king!

"I thank you for taking good care of them," Lord Bard continued. "Nevertheless it must be a great relief for them to be reunited with their own kind and I will see to their adaptation to our society. They will not pass as untouched maidens, but I trust we shall nevertheless be able to find good husbands for both of them, eventually. In the meantime, it will be a true pleasure to house them under my roof."

The Lord of Dale cast a hungry glance in our direction, but I had no fear, as Thranduil would hardly had gone through with this farce of an inspection if he intended to leave us in the clutches of the good Lord in this realm of men.

"My dear ally, the mortal ladies were not brought here for your pleasure. I have need for them." The king's voice was deceptively smooth.

Bard pondered this information for a while, seemingly at a loss on whether he should argue his cause further, or adapt to the circumstances. He chose the latter.

"Then, my king, would it perchance be agreeable to you, Majesty, to leave them in my care for a small period of time, say, a month? Just to reacquaint them with our habits, of course." He looked hopefully at the king.

"No!" Neither Mary nor I could help ourselves, regardless of our earlier intentions to behave dignified and lady-like whatever would come to pass. Thaladir looked stunned, but it was hard to tell if it was our outburst, or the man's outrageous claim that shocked him so. It could also be a delayed effect from having to witness a semi-public display of nudity, and lots of it at that. The king seemed to be amused, rather than angry, and replied calmly.

"I have taken a liking to their presence and would not deprive myself of their company."

Bard thought again, looking somewhat troubled now. Soon his face shone again with the optimism that seemed to be a trademark of his. "How about, one of them? For a week?"

"No!" Both Mary and I shouted, again, at the same time, if possible louder than before. We scooted up to the smugly smiling king, who graciously received us into his embrace. He arranged his features in a fascinating combination of mild regret and blatant pride.


~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Mary ~

For the first time since I had discovered that I was a bridge, I felt sorry for Mal that she could not utilize the same type of power from the king that I could. It was almost the opposite for her; when she was in distress, she became calmer and more pliable. Almost serene. I could tell she was having trouble resisting the intimate form of examination being performed. And the good Lord had good hands. It had been not that unpleasant, really, for most of it, but I wanted only the king's hands to explore certain areas of my body tonight, and no one else would do in his stead.

With a tiny thrill that seemed to travel from my spine down to my toes, I felt Thranduil enter the room before I even saw him. He was otherwise so silent that no one else, except maybe Thaladir, was aware of his presence for several moments.

The king smiled across the room at me with pride in his eyes; I knew that he had already learned an enormous amount of information from my experience before he had arrived on the scene. That made the whole otherwise pointless exercise easier to accept. As his bridge, I had performed a vital service to His Majesty by letting Bard paw me. Mal was performing a service, too, only in a different way. He turned his attention towards her, and stopped smiling.

It became obvious, while watching her with Bard, why the king was always calmer after spending time with her. She gave of herself freely, while still holding on to her dignity like a mantle of respectability. Thaladir must have been very proud, or probably would have felt so if the circumstances were not so apparently distressful for him.

I thought the seneschal's scowling face, during my own examination, had more to do with my less than decorous attitude and not necessarily with what the Lord and Law in His Own House was doing to me in front of his disapproving eyes.

It made me feel better about the seneschal, to see that same scowl on his face. I knew that Mal was very well trained and displayed the most proper manners throughout the ordeal. So, he could not have been upset with her behavior.

But when the presumptive Lord tried to seize Mal and me both for his own amusement, I was glad that I could easily abandon my protocol instructions when I felt I had no need for them. Like right then. There was no way on this earth, or any other earth, that I was going to be denied my night with the king. If I had to, I planned on grabbing Thaladir's sword and stabbing the good Lord with it to make him behave himself. Now that he was standing up, it was no longer possible to bite off his nose.

It was a shock when Mal shouted out, "No!" at exactly the same moment that I did. How dare he suggest that we stay with him, here! For a month! Even one more minute alone with him seemed out of the question. He was so lucky his shins were out of my reach and that the king was fast enough to stop me even if they had not been. But I felt safe in shouting "no" at him. I could feel that Thranduil was not interested in gathering any more information from Lord Bard; he had received more than enough during our examinations.

But, as Bard blustered and bartered, our king seemed more amused than angered by his attempts to negotiate for our company. I was horrified to hear myself bargained over like a gambling chip. But I was not afraid of being imprisoned in this fortification, or of being harmed, or even of being pawed any further by the Lord of the estate. I rushed to Thranduil, with Mal beside me, and clung to him as if I was a mussel shell and he was a rock on a beach. Anyone who tried would need a pry bar to remove me from his side.

The king's arm received me tenderly, and his caress along my side down to my hip, where his hand rested, soothed me instantly. I wished we could send the others away. But we were not in Mirkwood, and Thranduil was not the king of this castle.

After casually glancing over to Thaladir, to make sure he could not see my face from where he was standing if I turned toward Bard, I was about to stick my tongue out at our offensive host, but stopped myself when I felt the king's hand tighten its grasp on my hip. As if to say, "Behave yourself" without using words. So, I behaved myself. The calm look in his eyes, as he responded to Lord Bard, was a clear indication that our king was not intimidated by the shocking conversation.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Mal ~


"Ah, Bard, my dear neighbour," he said. "It grieves my heart that I cannot, regrettably, bestow this small favour upon you. I would never refuse an ally that which is in my power to give, but in this case I see myself hindered by the ladies' obvious dislike of the idea. While such impudent disobedience in an elf would be punished most severely, I, naturally, treat the expressed wishes of my mortal subjects with the deepest respect and understanding."

The Lord of Dale looked like he wouldn't lift a finger to prevent certain mortal ladies being punished, at least a little, and preferably even by himself, but he was forced to agree that the will of a human deserved respect. The king had won, again, but he was a generous victor.

"Do not be dismayed," he said to the man. "I have in my service a third female, my highly esteemed financial advisor. Her prolonged absence would be undesirable, but she would be an exotic companion to you this night."

"Is this lady an elf, then, so you will command her," sulked the man, "or will she make a sensible choice?"

"She is indeed an elf, and will find amusement in being entertained by such a gentleman as yourself."

The Lord of Dale looked happier again, and Thaladir cleared his throat. "I believe you are acquainted with the lady in question, and were quite taken with her at the time. However, you were deemed far too immature and innocent for her taste."

"Is it....?" Bard looked like someone who didn't dare to believe he'd won a prize. "Is it the fair Lady of the Stars and the Moon?" he asked. "The pure one with alabaster skin and silken hair like moonbeams, and eyes as blue as the summer sky..." His gaze became vacant as he counted the amazing qualities of the elleth he had in mind. I couldn't believe he was describing the one I thought of.

"And a heart of crystal and ice," muttered Thranduil. "Yes," he continued in a louder voice, "Helca. Take care not to bathe thay, ay, and do not expect to keep her favour for more than a few nights."

Mary and I looked at each other and it was very hard not to start giggling. Lord Bard II was for sure the least repulsive man Helca had shown an interest in, but it was so funny that she wanted them smelly.

As soon as the man had left the room, with a silly grin on his face, presumably already contemplating his coming tryst with the ice maiden, I felt overwhelmed by the situation. I thought I had handled it pretty well, but now I suddenly felt very vulnerable. I trembled with cold and unresolved emotions. Mary seemed to be going through something similar, and the king held us both close to his chest.

"I believe some words of consolation are in order," he said, and soon I felt myself being embraced by Thaladir instead. The noble elf stroked my hair and whispered soothingly in my ear, and it was very calming to listen to his heartbeats as I rested my head against his chest.ran ran his hands over my back too, slowly and carefully, all the way down to my silk-covered bottom, and over that as well. He lifted my hands to his lips and kissed each of my fingers, and then he moved on to my neck and collar-bones.

"My lady," he said after a particularly long kiss, "it will be my honour and pleasure to continue at a later time, should you so desire. At present I find it my duty, however regrettable, to remind you of the necessity to cover yourself properly for the awaiting ceremony."

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

~ Sheraiah ~

The guys were very vocal in their approval of my outfit. Gimli, in particular, praised it and I couldn't let the opportunity to tease him go past.

"Uh-huh, yeah, so says the one who is just about at eye-level with my chest," I said, giving him a knowing grin. He flushed beet red and stammered a bit before threatening to turn me over his knee. "Promises, promises," I retorted, turning him an even darker shade of red and causing the twins to guffaw rudely. Haldir simply shook his head, grinning. "I'm just teasing, Gimli," I finally said, not wanting to upset him to the point that he huffed off. He just gave me wry look and tapped his finger on my lips.

"I can see that the elf hasn't kept you busy enough to curb that wicked tongue of yours, lass. I'm going to have to have words with him about that." He arched a brow at me and I giggled.

"You do that, Gimli. He rather likes my wicked tongue." I dissolved into more giggles at the look he gave me. The twins guffawed again and I thought I caught a snicker coming from Haldir's direction, but I wasn't ever certain of it. The dwarf just gave me and exasperated look and changed the subject.

We wandered around aimlessly, just taking in the sights around the gardens and stables and picking on each other. I had never thought, from the descriptions that I had read and even the ones Legolas had provided, that Mirkwood would be as beautiful as it was. I really wanted to get out and explore the woods beyond the gates, but I knew that I'd have to wait for that until Legolas was able to accompany me.

I did manage to pull Gimli aside at one point and assure myself that I hadn't offended him. I hadn't, but just to be sure I told him I'd share my jelly beans with him after lunch. He was intrigued by my description of them and readily agreed. Thus assured, I ran ahead to pick on the twins again.

Haldir, I had noticed, was admiring local scenery of a different sort. She was very lovely, black haired and grey eyed with a bright smile. She seemed as impressed with him as he was with her, but that certainly didn't surprise me at al don don't call him 'His Hotness' for nothing. Like I said, yummy with a spoon.

The twins, on the other hand, would literally flirt with anything female whether they were interested or so so it was much more difficult to tell who they had zeroed in on. I suspected that it might have been Mirime, but I wasn't sure. I rather hoped so. Mirime was very nice for putting up with the strange, rowdy, unconventional human wench that had been dropped in her lap and deserved a dose of the twins as a reward. Perhaps repeated doses, depending on how long we would be staying.

Legolas joined us for lunch in the dining room. It was a much simpler affair than lunch in Rivendell, consisting of fresh fish from the river, some kind of greens that I had never seen before but that were very tasty, cheese, bread, and strawberries. It was a merry meal, and it ended all too soon when Legolas had to leave to attend to his duties. He didn't say, of course, but I got the distinct impression that he couldn't wait for his father to get back.

Haldir went to seek out his raven-haired admirer as soon as we got up from the table and the twins said something about archery practice, but they had a wi gle gleam in their eyes when they said it, so I'm sure that arrows had little to do with their plans. Gimli and I retreated to my room.

"You're in for a treat, Gimli. These are the best jelly beans ever made," I told him as I dug through my suitcase.

"I'll trust you on that, lass. I don't see how there's anything special about beans," he replied, settling down on the foot of my bed.

"Well, they aren't really beans; they're just shaped like beans. They're actually candy. Confections, I guess you would say. You can buy tpre-pre-packaged, but then you get flavors that you might not like. I usually buy them from a store where I can choose what flavors I get." I put the bag on the bed between us and grabbed a handful. "Ok, now the yellow and white ones are my favorites. They're butter popcorn flavored. Try one." I handed him one and watched his face as he chewed it up. He grinned at me and I knew he was hooked. "It's funny that I don't like to eat popcorn at all, but I love the jelly beans with that fl. He. Here's my next favorite, peanut butter."

"Hmmm, that one's not as good as the first. What else do you have there?" He leaned forward to look into the bag. I fished out another one and handed it to him. "Gah! I don't like that one at all. What is it?"

"Cafe Latte. It's a drink. If you don't like that one, then you won't like the cappuccino either. Here, try this one. It's toasted marshmallow." As it turned out, he liked the plum, apricot, toasted marshmallow and butteredcorncorn ones the best. He absolutely hated the pina-colada and the coconut. "Be glad I didn't bring Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans," I told him. "Then we'd be dealing with flavors like grass and ear wax." I had to laugh at the face he pulled.

"Lass, your folk have some odd notions about what"s good to eat," he commented. I had tree ree with him on that one. I'd never been brave enough to try the Every Flavor Beans.

After we had demolished the jelly beans, he started telling me about some more of his travels. He was in the middle of a hilarious story about running into a troop of wandering minstrels on his way from the Iron Hills to Erebor when the twins joined us. My suspicions regarding their activities rose several notches at the sight of the smug looks they both wore.

Legolas joined us soon after. He looked like he was about ready to bounce off the walls from being cooped up for so long. I found it amusing that an immortal could get stir crazy that quickly. I shooed the twins and Gimli out, but not before Gimli ratted me out for the cleavage and corporal punishment comments I'd made earlier. Legolas was still laughing as he shut the door behind them.

"He is correct, you do have a wicked tongue," he commented, grinning down at me as he lightly tweaked the end of my nose.

"Yes, and you love it, horny elf," I retorted, sticking said tongue out at him.

"If you stick it out at me, you will have to use it," he warned, his grin turning devilish. "You look good enough to eat, anyway."

"Ooooh, you promise?" I exclaimed, sticking my tongue out at him again and wiggling it suggestively. He gave a shout of laughter and grabbed me, throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me towards the bed. Nothing like a human wench with a wicked tongue to help an elven prince work off some excess energy before dinner.


t b c