Mary's Trip to Isengard Chapter 1/10

Mary's Trip to Isengard,

Starring: Mary Aseltyne and a cast of thousands!

Rated: G

Daily Diary Entry

Explanation: This entry was posted shortly after one of the group members had written a little fan-fic starring Haldir as a classic gangster-type character, a "hit-elf" as it were, which will be referred to in this chapter.

(I do not own these characters nor am I receiving financial gain from playing with them! This diary is written for entertainment purposes only!)

Day three: Waking in Rivendell was such a treat! I never wanted to leave the valley and the happy, hospitable elf-folk who live there but a promise is a promise and I must get myself to Isengard. When I came down the main staircase to the wide entry-hall I was pleased to see that Lord Elrond was waiting to say his farewells to our little traveling trio.

"Well, my dear, I have some exciting news for you!" He said in greeting, "To travel by horse carriage to Isengard will take several more days and even though you will see some interesting sites on your way there you will never again have the chance to visit the home of the March Warden elves of whom your Haldir_Lovers group was formulated to appreciate, Lothlorien. Therefore, it has been decided that you shall travel by Eagle-back to The Realm of the Golden Wood which will shorten your travel time and give you the opportunity to witness for yourself the fountainhead of inspiration for your group members."

Needless to say I was speechless after this announcement and had to be led somewhat like a paralyzed invalid out into the courtyard where Gwaihir the Eagle Winglord and two of his brothers were awaiting our departure. The eagles would not only speedily transport us to Lothlorien but would take us from there to Isengard after our visit to the City of the Lady of Light, Caras Galadhon.

The wind whipped through my hair and brought tears to my eyes as we traveled swiftly over meadow and mountaintop but it was a pleasure to travel by eagle-back nonetheless! I was a bit worried that by being taken directly into the center of Caras Galadhon that I would miss out on viewing the border gaurds, the March Wardens of Lorien, but I had nothing to fear as an entire battalion had been assembled for review with their Captain, Our Haldir, standing at attention in front of the assembled throng. Thus I was greeted, along with the Twins, upon my arrival in the heart of Lothlorien.

The Lady Galadriel and her Lord Celeborn were also there, of course, but my attention was riveted by Haldir and his brothers. They are much taller than I had ever imagined; the three of them were taller by a full head than the rest of the assembled Wardens and various other elves. The whole experience took on a dream-like quality as I seemed to float through the rest of my visit in the heart of the Golden Wood. Galadriel and Celeborn led me to a seat of honor beside their own and both asked me many, many questions about the Haldir_Lover's Group its its various members.

I was very nervous as I sat and recounted the goings-on at the Haldir_Lover's Paradise Resort and Theme Park with Riding Stables because Haldir stood along side of us, I could just see him out of my peripheral vision, and I knew he overheard every word that I said. "Mostly," I reassured the Lord and Lady, "we honor Lothlorien, and its community of elves, by paying homage to all of you in fiction, paintings, drawings and even some poetry now and again."

"Well," intoned the Lord Celeborn, "that is all very well and good, but what is this we hear about elves dressed up as pirates or, what was the word, dear?" He leaned over to Galadriel who whispered something into his ear, "Oh, yes, as "hit-elves? Who, or what, is a "hit-elf?"

Galdriel patted Celeborn's hand and held one, slender finger in the air, indicating her desire to speak, before she turned to me and said, "I am much more interested in tdelidelicacy, unknown to us, which I think is called "chocolate syrup?"

I glanced sideways at Haldir, who appeared to be stifling a grin, before I offered to do more than just tell the Lady about it because I happened to have some in my suitcase and was more than willing to share some with her and her Lord. The suitcase was called for and, as I pulled one of the bottles out, a previously overlooked post-it note fluttered from the bottle and onto the grass. I could see written on it, "Apply as Needed-Hee!-Char." I put my foot on top of the note before any one else discovered it.

After I had opened the top of the syrup I asked Lord Celeborn for his hand. I seperated out his index finger and dolloped some chocolate on it, "Now, you must place your finger in Lady Galadriel's mouth for her to taste," I explained. Celeborn gave me a quizzical glance but held his finger to Galadriel's lips. The Lady's eyes widened with delight as she tasted the syrup and she used a tiny flick of her pink tongue to remove any traces from the sides of her mouth.

"My turn," said Lord Celeborn as he took Galadriel's hand and held it to me. With an amused expression she offered the tip of her finger and, after I squeezed another dollop of the syrup upon it, quickly inserted it into Celeborn's eagerly waiting lips. He sat motionless for a heartbeat before grinning widely and nodding his head, "Delicious!" he exclaimed.

I glanced over at Haldir, who wasn't even trying to pretend he was disinterested but was, indeed, staring quite intently at the syrup bottle in my hands. I turned back to Galadriel and nodded my head in the Golden One's direction, "May I?" I asked.

Galadriel's vivid smile lit her face as she whispered back, "Of course, my dear, I am sure our March Warden would delight in this interesting treat!'

I don't know what was worse, the fact that my heart was pounding so hard that I was afraid it might explode or the fact that my hand was shaking so hard that I wfraifraid I wouldn't be able to do more that splash chocolate syrup all over my clothes! As it turned out, Haldir reached over and steadied my hand while taking the bottle with his other hand to pour out a dollop on my finger which he raised to his lips and, ah, I die!, placed it within his gorgeous, warm, moist, desirable mouth! I managed, just barely, not to faint dead away.

Well, after that, I just sort of sat there grinning like an idiot while a chocolate syrup free-for-all took place around me with the bottle being passed from hand to hand, and fingers being sucked and licked by the rest of the elves with apparent delight! In the midst of the madness, Galadriel took my hand and gently led me away from the chocolate slinging throng of laughing elves and deep into the forest where we sat on a low bench which had been carved into a massive Mellorn tree-root. "Now, tell me," she said after we had settled ourselves, "where else would one "apply" your chocolate syrup?"

We sat for a long while as I explained the many different uses of chocolate syrup, and the meaning of the term "hit-elf", among other things, until finally Galadriel stood, smiled brightly and said, "And now, my dear, as representative of the marvelous Haldir_Lover's group you are deserving of that which all of the membef yof your group most desire." She turned and beckoned toward some trees behind me before continuing, "Time alone with the Captain of my March Wardens, Haldir." He stepped out from the forest where he had been completely camoflauged and sat next to me on the carved bench.

OK, I was speechless. I wish I could say that as soon as Galadriel floated gracefullyy doy down the path that Haldir grabbed me and started making out with me like a mad, lust-filled fiend, but he did not. Instead, he immediately questioned me on my situation with Grima', "This most henious of Saruman's minions," was how he put it. I told him the whole, silly story including the different challenges and the final contest. After digesting my story he sat quietly and then took one of my hands into his and said, "My lady, (he actually called me "My lady!") (could you just die? because I almost did!) "Far be it for me to question the wisdom of this endeavor or your strength of wit and courage but do heed my warning. This scoundrel,mtonmtongue, Grima', or whatever other name he may be called, is not worth your 'word of promise' and you would do yourself a service by immediately returning to your world after your visit here in Lothlorien."

"No, Haldir," I managed to say calmly, "I promised I would spend a week here in Me Eae Earth and it was hard enough negotiating with him over my travel arrangements. Originally, we were supposed to travel together but, after spending just a little time with him, and the Twins, in our carriage, it became clear that if they did not do physical harm to him that I probably would have had to do so, he has the most repellent personality. So, I promised him that if he would allow me to travel with the Twins, and without him, to Isengard, while he went on ahead to prepare our accomodations, then I would spend my last evening here alone with him, unchaperoned."

"That was not a wise decision," said Haldir sternly, "but I can well understand that a promise made must be a promise kept. However, I am most concerned with your safety as it is imperative to me that you return to your group and tell them how much I appreciate the great gift of life that they have given to me and continue to give to me each day."

Well, everyone, listen to this! It turns out that so many millions of people witnessed the so-called "death of Haldir at Helm's Deep" scene in theie vie version of The Twin Towers and so many of those millions believed that Our Haldir was actually dead that he almost, literally, did die! As he explained it to me, it was only through the love and vivid imaginations of his fans, combined with their utter unwillingness to accept his death as true, while continuing to imagine him alive and, well, useful for our "fictional requirements," that he was able to survive what would have been "a new ending to my story," which he wouave ave had to accept without question. "You must return to your world unharmed in order to express my gratitude to each and every member of your group and to any other groups that you may one day visit." As he said this he raised my arm and pulled a thin, leather sheath from his clothing which had leather straps attached with which he tied the sheath to my forearm. "Promise me that you will use this if needed." He then pulled a small flap that covered the end open and slipped a thin, deadly-looking throwing-dagger from the sheath.

"For me?" I whispered, " I will treasure it always, Haldir, but I don't think I will have to use it on old Grima' there. I think the presence of the Twins nearby will suffice to protect me from any attempted mauling." (Besides which, I couldn't imagine throwing this beautiful gift any where near that filthy weasel for fear he would attempt to take it for himself!) I sighed as he his face grew stern again and I gave in, "OK, I'll use it if I have to," I promised and he leaned over and kissed me! Not a wild, passionate, lusty kiss but a sweet, gentle message of quiet gratitude and sympathy for my plight. It was enough, I fainted.

When I came to I was in a flet with the Twins who were spattered all over with chocolate syrup. The Lothlorien elf maidens were quite eager to "apply" the sticky syrup upon these visitors from Imladris, who were a novelty here with their dark hair and darker eyes and burly physiques. After they were reassured that I was not in danger of fainting again they informed me that the eagles would return for us at daylight for our final leg of our journey to Isengard.

I doubt th wil will sleep a wink tonight even if I have massages and lullabies and a whole bottle of Lorien wine...but, hey, I can always sleep some other day! For the rest of this night I will be thinking of Haldir..........

Love you,
Mary