Something Special, Something Sacred

Imladris, Third Age 2032

Erestor filed away the last of the day's work and stretched, letting out a deep sigh. It had been a productive day and the work left over could easily be handled the next day. He wanted to return to his chambers as soon as he could and wait for his lover.

His mouth curved into a wistful smile. No other Elf had ever captured Erestor's heart as Glorfindel had. For many, many years, Erestor had watched the golden Lord, teased him about his frivolous ways, and took in stride the cheeky comments Glorfindel sent his way. He still didn't know how they had ended up courting one another; but within a few years, Erestor had asked Glorfindel to move into his rooms. Elrond had been surprised when Erestor had informed the Elf-lord that Glorfindel's suites were now available, but his friend had kept his comments to himself.

Ten years later, and Erestor was still as happy as he had been when they first began their relationship. He finished straightening his desk and took one last look about. Everything was set for the next day and Erestor was free to return to his quarters. He was walking out the door when Elrond chose to walk in.

"Erestor!" Elrond caught the Councilor's upper arm and smiled. "I wish to have a word with you; do you have time?"

Erestor shoved his annoyance aside. "I was heading to my chambers to await Glorfindel, my Lord."

Elrond pulled Erestor back into the office, shutting the door firmly behind them. "Do not worry over Glorfindel. He had some work to do in the barracks today and should arrive just in time for the evening meal."

The Noldo sighed and took a seat near the large windows in his office, motioning for Elrond to join him. "I am assuming this is not official Imladris business, is it, meldir?" He smiled knowingly at his friend and crossed his legs.

The Peredhel sat down, crossing his own legs and folding his hands in his lap. "How astute of you."

"Then what is it you want to discuss?"

Elrond took a deep breath and looked out over the valley. "Glorfindel."

Erestor's smile disappeared and his eyes became cold. "What about him?"

The dark grey eyes of his long-time friend turned to him and Erestor felt his heart speed. Elrond had always elicited such a response from him. "Does he know, Erestor?"

Elrond's tone of voice left no room for Erestor to argue. He slipped into an age-old routine, one Elrond had personally ingrained in him. "No, sir," was the quiet, respectful response.

"Erestor, we are not in that room. I am no master of you. I am your friend. Do not confuse the two. It has been many years, meldir; one would think you would know the difference by now." Elrond smirked at him and Erestor's eyes flashed.

"I did not know respect was something I should no longer offer you."

The Half-Elf shook his head. "Respect is one thing, but your tone was as if you knelt before me and I had asked you if you had touched yourself while I was away."

Erestor felt his face flush at the memory of that exact scenario from centuries past. "Thank you for reminding me, Elrond."

Elrond smiled. "Why have you not told him?"

"Do you honestly believe that it would make any difference in our relationship?" Erestor kept his eyes trained on something out the window, refusing to meet his Lord's gaze.

"I think it could make a great deal of difference."

Erestor sighed and cast his eyes to the floor. "And *that* is why I have not told him."

*****

Glorfindel walked from his Captain's office and headed back toward the main house. He looked up into the afternoon sky and gauged it to be a few hours still before the evening meal. The Seneschal decided to make his way to his rooms, to surprise his lover when he returned; but as he passed by one of the many fountains in Imladris, he heard a familiar voice.

"I do not understand why he avoids me!" sighed Haldir.

Glorfindel slowed his pace, listening to the private conversation on the other side of the dense hedge.

"He cannot very well seek you out, meldir." That was Lindir. Who were they speaking of?

"Why?"

Lindir chuckled at Haldir's annoyed, desperate tone. "Lord Erestor is now Lord Glorfindel's."

A shocked intake of breath from Haldir caused Glorfindel to stop entirely.

"The mighty Balrog-slayer submits to Erestor's will?" Haldir quipped in disbelief.

Glorfindel's brow furrowed. Submit?

"Why not, Haldir?" Lindir asked. "I think the golden Lord would do anything for Erestor."

Haldir snorted. "I cannot see him in any of the positions you or I have been in, Lindir."

"And what positions would those be?" Lindir challenged.

Glorfindel's heart was racing.

"Oh, come now, Lindir, do not act so innocent. You and I know differently." Haldir's voice had dropped seductively. "Tell me, am I the only one he has bent over that table in his rooms?" Glorfindel heard Lindir's sharp intake of breath. "I see I am not, dear Lindir. Did he use his crop or the whip upon you?"

The Seneschal's eyes widened. They could not be serious!

"Both." They were serious.

Haldir sighed. "I miss the games, the release he offered after such... exquisite pain."

"I had not known how intense and wonderful it could be. Lord Glorfindel had interrupted us the first night he dominated me. I could not sit the entire day and I could swear everyone knew what I had permitted Erestor to do... that I craved the next session he would invite me to." Lindir sounded wistful and Glorfindel's eyes stung.

He didn't seem to know his lover as well as he thought. Below the soft caresses, the loving words and tender moments lay a violent beast, it seemed.

"You do not believe Glorfindel submits to him in such a way?" Haldir now asked.

"Nay. There is something in his eyes when he looks at Erestor that says otherwise." Lindir stood, and Glorfindel swallowed hard. "Do you think perhaps Erestor submits to him?"

Haldir let out a loud, harsh laugh. "I have never known Erestor to submit to anyone. I do not think it is in his nature. He could no more submit to Glorfindel than I could become a hawk!"

Their voices faded as they left the small courtyard, but Glorfindel's heart still beat its fast, panicked rhythm. He turned his eyes back to the main house and took a deep breath. It seemed it was time to finally learn what it was that Erestor had been hiding from him for over a decade, what he had been holding back from his lover.

And why.

*****

Erestor undressed as he watched his lover warily. Glorfindel had been silent since he had returned to the house that afternoon. He had barely spoken during the evening meal, had hardly touched the food on his plate. Glorfindel also avoided Erestor's touch, his gaze. Erestor pulled on his sleeping robe and began to plait his hair in one long rope. His lover was slipping into sleeping trousers and a long nightshirt, which was odd. Glorfindel usually slept nude at Erestor's side.

"Is something the matter, melethen? You are awfully quiet, even distracted." Erestor pulled back the sheet and coverlet, sitting slowly on the soft mattress.

Glorfindel lay on the bed with his back facing Erestor. "Nothing is the matter. I was just thinking."

Erestor's brow furrowed, and he turned, putting his hand on his lover's back. It was not like Glorfindel to be so curt. "Thinking of what?" When Glorfindel did not answer, Erestor sighed in frustration. "Come now, meleth, I would know what it is that troubles you!" he said in a voice harsher than he'd intended.

The Elda turned just enough to bring his smoldering gaze level with Erestor's. "Or you'll use the crop on me?" he said acidly.

The Noldo flinched as though burned. "I would *never* harm you!"

"Tell me, then, what offense could Lindir have committed that set you upon him thus? Or Haldir, perhaps?"

Erestor could not believe what he was hearing. What in Arda had come over Glorfindel? "Lindir? Haldir? Have they told you that I harmed them?"

"They might as well have! They were comparing their 'battle wounds' -- sharing stories of beatings inflicted by you!"

'Oh, Elrond,' thought Erestor. 'How right you were. And how blind was I not to have foreseen this.' He sighed heavily, a sound of resignation and regret. "This is not something you should have first heard from others."

Glorfindel leapt up from the bed, turning to stare down at Erestor, his eyes reflecting hurt and anger. "Certainly not! But, then again, it does not seem as though you ever intended to tell me yourself."

Erestor stood from the bed as well and held out his hands in a sign of surrender. "I know and I do apologize, melethen," he said softly. "I would like to talk to you about this, but I think it should be outside of our bed." At the uncertain look Glorfindel gave him, Erestor chuckled. "It is a very long story."

He motioned for Glorfindel to join him at the small dining table they shared in their suite. Erestor poured them both goblets of deep red wine and sat in the chair, sipping delicately and regarding his lover with a curious eye. This was not how Erestor would have chosen to have this discussion, for Glorfindel was already suspicious of his behavior. Erestor sighed and put his glass down, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs.

"Let me begin by saying that I have never raised crop, cane or whip to anyone who had not fully understood and completely consented to such an act."

Glorfindel's eyes were wide as saucers. "Who, Erestor, would ask to be beaten by another?"

Erestor chuckled. "You might be surprised, pen-velui." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Submission can be a very liberating feeling, and there are those who crave that sensation. Just as there are those like myself who crave creating that sensation."

"How can you say that submission is liberating?"

Erestor's eyes became hooded and he smiled gently at his lover. "It frees you from having to make decisions, from having to be in control; it releases you from responsibly and consequence. However, I ensure that my partners are not stripped of every vestige of control. They have but to say a word, and I agree to stop anything I am doing."

"But does that not mean that *they* are in control and not you? If, as you say, they have the final word."

"I wish there were an easy answer to your question; a simple way to explain it to you. As long as I have been involved in this lifestyle, though, I have never found the words. All I can really say is that just because they are entrusted with a way to cease all play, that does not mean they have any control over what that play entails."

Glorfindel scoffed. "You call it 'play'?"

Erestor sipped his wine thoughtfully. "Aye, I do. Just as I refer to my submissive as 'partners' and not 'lovers', I refer to the act as 'play' not 'lovemaking'. For there is a distinct difference."

"Are you saying you never take them to your bed? Lindir and Haldir have never been with you intimately?" Glorfindel asked disbelievingly.

Erestor smiled once again. "That is exactly what I am saying. Other than you, my dear Glorfindel, I have taken only two others into my bed. In three long Ages, only three know me thusly."

Glorfindel shook his head and crossed his arms. "I do not understand. Lindir seemed to speak of the time he spent with you as sexual. Does this mean he was one of the two previous lovers you had?"

"No, and neither was Haldir. While the experience can be pleasurable and, yes, even sexual, there was no penetration, no act of copulation." Erestor knew he was being incredibly dispassionate about the topic, something that had dominated his personal life for more centuries than he could count, but Glorfindel needed logic, not passion.

"Then what is the point if not physical gratification?"

Erestor shook his head, leaning forward to rest his arms on the table. "I did not say there was no physical gratification. To some, the sting of the crop is most gratifying."

Glorfindel's eyes were full of confusion. "But, does it not hurt?"

"Naturally. That is, of course, the intent. However, there is a difference between hurting and harming. I have never intentionally harmed anyone. Hurting, though, is a different matter. The pain that I inflict on my partners is very close to pleasure for them because they are greatly aroused. It is simply another form of strong feeling that they experience as pleasurable."

"And what is it you receive from inflicting these punishments?"

He closed his eyes briefly, calling to mind the face of Lindir, remembering the sounds the writhing body of the minstrel would make with each fall of the cane. When he opened his dark eyes, they were dilated with lust. "You are asking if I become aroused? Aye."

Glorfindel paled visibly. "How?" he asked in a low voice.

"You remember when I told you how much I enjoy the sounds you make during our lovemaking?" Glorfindel nodded. "A moan of pleasure, meleth, is not so different from a groan of pain. There are few sights more beautiful than a body stretched out beneath me, trembling with pleasure and lust. To know that I have brought such feelings out in them brings me great joy and ignites my own passions."

"What you just described, Erestor, is what you and I do nightly. I do not see the difference."

Erestor smiled at the bright, open eyes of his companion. How he loved the Elda. "Exactly. Whether it is through tenderness as when we come together or with any of a dozen tools wielded with a heavy hand as with those such as Lindir, the emotion shared is the same."

Glorfindel sighed. "Why did you never speak of this before now? Why did I have to come to you?"

He looked away from the imploring gaze over to their rumpled bed. Erestor drained the rest of his wine. "It did not seem important to speak of. Such play was not what I sought from you. I fell in love with you and I desired a relationship with an equal, not an Elf I could subjugate. You wooed, we courted and now we love. I did not want you to simply submit to me."

"It is still something you should have shared with me, Erestor," Glorfindel chided him.

Erestor cleared his throat, refusing to look his lover in the eye. "Do you love me any less now that you know?" It was a rare thing for him to show such vulnerability, but he loved the golden Lord more than he had ever thought he might. The possibility of losing him over what had occurred in his past frightened Erestor.

He heard Glorfindel gasp. "Of course not! I only mean that I should have been offered the choice. I should have been allowed to decide for myself if such activities would be included in our bedroom."

Erestor's mouth opened, but no sound would come forth. He blinked once and tried again. "Are you saying... you are interested in such a thing?" This was more than he had ever dared hope for. He would have been happy to love Glorfindel until the end of Arda, but to be offered the ability to indulge in this type of play with one he held dear...

Glorfindel was silent for a moment. "I love you, pen-hael, and I wish to understand this aspect of your life. I think the only way I will do that is by taking part in it." Glorfindel held Erestor's gaze levelly and added in a quick rush, "That is, if you so desire it."

"If you truly want to experience this, then there are some things you need to know before we even begin the most basic lesson." Erestor stood and refilled his goblet.

"First and foremost, you must trust me. I will not promise to be gentle, and I will not promise not to push your limits. But, I do promise that I will never harm you and will stop if you tell me to. I am a different person, Glorfindel, during a session. Harsher and more demanding of respect." Erestor walked over to Glorfindel and looked down into the warm, sapphire eyes. "There will be rules that you must follow, and there will be consequences should you not. Do you understand this?" he asked softly, cupping Glorfindel's cheek with his hand.

"I understand," was Glorfindel's breathless reply.

"And do you still desire to pursue this?" Erestor would give his love every opportunity to withdraw his consent to such treatment.

Glorfindel swallowed, his eyes never leaving Erestor's dark gaze. "Aye."

Erestor swooped down and took Glorfindel's mouth with his own, thrusting his tongue into the sweet warmth that opened to him immediately. When he pulled back, Glorfindel's eyes were indigo and his cheeks were flushed with passion. Erestor licked his lips, savoring the taste of his lover, before smirking down at the Elda. "Then, melethron, tomorrow night, we shall begin your lesson." Erestor leaned in, running his tongue the length of Glorfindel's ear. He whispered hotly to his lover, "Tonight, though, I intend to have you writhing beneath me with only my touch."

TBC...

*****

English/Elvish:

Leitho nin : Release me
Maer : Good
Maer aur : Good morning
Meleth : Love
Melethron : Lover (masc)
Melethen : My love
Melon le : I love you
Pen-velui : Lovely one
Pen-hael : Wise one
Tolo : Come