Livin' On A Prayer

Title: Livin’ On a Prayer
Fandom: LoTR
Author: Lynsey
Websites and Mailing List: See links under user information
Beta: None
Chapter: 3/?
Pairings: Lindir/Erestor
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Minor violence
Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings or its characters. I do not make any money from this fiction.
Summary: An aspiring musician and his husband are down on their luck and living the hard life. Can they hope to rise above as long as they have each other? Or will life fall apart around them.

Lindir entered his home, the tiny hut seemingly smaller than when he had left that morning. It was as if his whole life was closing in on him.

The darkling hadn’t been home from work when Lindir had left for another day of job searching. He had waited for some time, hoping to talk to Erestor before he left, but the day had grown brighter and his opportunities for work fewer.

Lindir had left, hoping that maybe this day he would find a job.

He hadn’t, and he was severely, painfully frustrated.

This wasn’t how it was suppose to be. When they’d moved here, they had been full of hope and starry-eyed awe. This was going to be their big break. They were going to make it, be successful, and live in excess. It had all hinged on Lindir’s ability to do well during the audition that brought them to this city. The bardling had done well…but not well enough. A student just out of school never stood a chance against an elf with hundreds of years of experience.

And now, they lived day to day and never knew when they’d be able to eat or pay the rent. Lindir tried hard to keep up hope. Erestor had been the rock of their relationship, always bolstering Lindir when he had a bad day or when he lost hope. Lindir tried as hard as he could to be as brave as Erestor was. It was just so difficult to be optimistic when jobs were few and far between. Erestor always said that they would make it as long as they had each other, but Lindir couldn’t help but feel that…they kept sliding.

And it was all his fault.

Why in all of Arda did Erestor stay with him?

Lindir sighed again, taking a deep breath of something savory

Erestor was faithfully preparing Lindir dinner as always before he left for work. The darkling sat at the stove quietly stirring what smelled like…roast?

Lindir’s brow furrowed as he sat his small shoulder-pack on the bed. He approached his husband and peaked over his shoulder and into the pot on the little stove. By all hells, it was roast.

…they didn’t have money for roast.

“Erestor, how did-”

“I got a bonus at work last night,” Erestor said quickly. A little too quickly.

Lindir turned his husband around to look into his face. “Erestor…what kind of bonus?”

Erestor didn’t lift his eyes to meet Lindir’s. They were firmly fixed on the floor. “I…just did a few extra jobs. It was nothing.”

“Nothing? You won’t look into my eyes, Erestor.” Lindir was starting to get agitated. “Why won’t you look at me? What did you do?”

“I just…did a favor. For my boss.”

Lindir stepped away, disbelieving.

“Just a favor, huh? What kind of favor has you acting so guilty?”

Erestor looked as if he was going to cry.

He doesn’t have to know.

But he does.

“I entertained some clients last night. Just a game of cards. They flirted a little. One of them, he,” Erestor gulped and wrapped his arms around himself. “He kissed me.”

Lindir snarled, stepping further away with a look of disgust and betrayal. “And you let him?”

“No!” Erestor denied. “I didn’t let him do anything. He kissed me before I could even move.”

“And you got paid for this? What are you a whore now?” Lindir almost winced at his own words, but kept his face a mask of righteous indignation. Erestor was his. His support, his love, his everything. How dare he give that to someone else!

Erestor looked as if Lindir had just slapped him. “How could you say that? You know I would never be with another. I love you, Lindir! I gave up everything for you. How could you say that?!”

“Why should I believe you?”

“Because I’m your husband!”

“Then how could you sell yourself like a common tramp?”

The darkling did start crying at that. “Lindir. I love you. I was honest with you. I didn’t try to hide it from you. That should count.” His voice was a whisper. “That should count.”

Lindir was breathing hard, trying to control his emotions. “It doesn’t,” he hissed.

“Lindir,” Erestor was crying without restraint now. “Don’t do this. I didn’t do anything wrong. I told you what happened. It wasn’t my fault!”

“And I didn’t marry a whore.”

Erestor stood frozen, unable to believe that Lindir was being so malicious. “Why are you saying these things?” his voice was shaky and highly astounded.

Lindir shook his head. “I think you need to leave for awhile. I just…I can’t look at you right now.”

“Lindir…” Erestor advanced toward his husband, intending to…to…he didn’t really know. Maybe embrace him?

He fell against the bed when the blond struck him across the face. Erestor slid to the floor in a daze and looked up at Lindir with utter betrayal. “I didn’t do anything,” Erestor whispered. “Nothing.”

“I know that I can’t….can’t provide for you, but you didn’t have to resort to this. I would have found a way. I always find a way, don’t I? Don’t I, Erestor?”

“Yes,” Erestor said quietly, almost not daring to say anything.

“Then why? Did you think we needed the money that bad? Are we that bad off that you had to sell yourself out to the highest bidder?” Lindir shook his head, handsome face screwed up in internal agony. “Just leave. I want you out of here.” Lindir threw Erestor’s bag at him from where it hung on a hook on a wall. “Did I stutter? Leave!”

Erestor sobbed and grabbed his bag. He didn’t look at his husband as he left, slamming the door behind him. If he had, he would have seen the look of anguish on his husband’s face.

Once outside, Erestor paused to swipe the tears from his eyes. One eye was starting to swell and that side of his face stung sharply when touched. He took several shuddering breaths and slung his pack over his head.

What was he going to do now?

He looked at the sky, the setting sun. He was going to be a little early for work if he left now, but…oh, well. It didn’t matter, really.

Erestor trudged forward, each step more painful than the last. He almost didn’t stop when he reached The Corner Tavern, so engrossed was he in his internal pain. He turned abruptly, and swung back toward the entrance. Erestor pushed open the door that creaked open on its hinges. It was quiet inside since it was still early, only one lonely old human man was sitting at the bar counter, nursing what looked like whiskey. Erestor moved toward the back rooms and hung his bag on a peg behind the door that led to the kitchen.

Erestor picked up a much abused, but at least clean, apron and tied it around his neck and waist. He returned to the main room and began to set up for maximum occupancy. Only a few of the chairs had been taken down to accommodate the minimal patrons throughout the day. Once the remaining chairs were taken off the tables, he started hauling the heavy, cleaned mugs from the washing basin in the kitchen to behind the bar.

It was while he was tapping a fresh keg that Elladan walked in the front door.

“Ah, my little minx! I’d hoped you’d be here!” the young lord was jovial, coming up the bar and slapping his hand down in enthusiasm. “Give me a draw.”

Erestor was startled into a frozen state. It took Elladan’s prodding weeeell that induced Erestor to move. He woodenly filled a stein with the fresh ale from the newly-tapped keg. He set the heavy mug in front of the lord. When Erestor went to pull his hand away from the vessel, Elladan’s hands covered his for a brief moment. “What happened to your face, darling? That wasn’t there last night.”

Unexplainably frightened, Erestor jerked away.

“Why so jumpy, little one?” Elladan said with a raised eyebrow. He took a sip of the ale, grimacing a little at the taste. “Mmm…still not used to this low-brow stuff.”

“I-I…I’m sorry, my Lord,” Erestor apologized. “It’s-it’s the best we h-have.”

“Oh, little one. Don’t apologize for something you can’t help.”

Erestor cleared his throat and continued readying for the evening. Making sure full bottles of liquor were open and the wine was stocked as Elladan watched and sipped his brew.

“Would you like to go somewhere?” Elladan asked suddenly, almost making Erestor drop the knife he was using to cut limes.

Erestor took a couple of breaths to steady his rapidly beating heart. Setting the knife down before he did something unfortunate like drop it on his foot, Erestor turned to Elladan. “I’m sorry, my Lord. I don’t believe that would be prudent. I’m working tonight.” And my husband already thinks I’m sleeping around on him.

“I’d like to treat you to something fine. You deserve it, pretty little minx.”

Erestor gulped and clasped his hands to steady their trembling. “My lord, I’m married.”

“I’m not asking for anything untoward, little one,” Elladan said in defense. “Just a little dinner between friends.”

“With all due respect, we are not friends, my Lord. We barely know each other.”

“All the more reason to have dinner and conversation between us. Can’t get to be friends if we don’t spend time together, aye? And what did I tell you to call me?”

Erestor was beginning to become annoyed. “I believe, Elladan, that you’ve caused enough problems in my life and you should leave me the hell alone.”

Elladan held his hands open in supplication. “I’m sorry to offend you…I just think that…” he trailed away shrugging.

“Just think what, Elladan,” Erestor snapped.

Elladan looked at Erestor with determination in his eyes. “That you deserve better than this.” He waved his hand around in a broad gesture.

“How do you know what I deserve? Maybe I live this life for a reason.”

Elladan place both hands down on the bar and leaned forward. “I think you live this life because you never had a choice.”

“I love my husband and I would follow him anywhere,” Erestor argued vehemently.

“So you’re here for him? That’s why you work in this piss-pot?”

“Yes!”

The young lord was quiet when he said, “Is he the one that hit you?”

Erestor’s breath hitched. “He’d never-” he gulped, almost believing what he was about to say, even if it wasn’t the truth. “It was…an accident.”

Elladan shook his head, clearly disbelieving. “Would he do the same?” Elladan questioned. “Would he follow you anywhere?”

Erestor’s face fell at that. He tripped a little over his words, trying to defend his husband.

“Would he follow you into the same hell he dragged you into, for no other reason than he loves you?”

Erestor frowned, not understanding why he couldn’t say the words that would uphold his beloved’s honor. Lindir loved him!

Right?

Common tramp.

Why should I believe you?

Whore.

You need to leave.

A few tears rolled down Erestor’s face as he said, “Let me go talk to my boss.”

TBC…