Lord Of The Rings Parody

Meanwhile Degol had let go of the line and swam down to the bottom and grabbed a handful of mud he was going to through it at his brother for a joke so he swam up and climbed on shore and through the mud at Smegol there was something hard inside it Smegol let out a painful cry.

Smegol: Ouch you creep! There rocks in this mud! (Then they both look down and see a shiny ring that fell out of the mud they both dived for it fighting over it like they had lost there minds which they did the ring will do that to a person for the fun of it)

Ring: Who ever kills who gets to keep me! ( Smegol who forgot to take his meds throttled Degol not meaning to and took the ring for himself he was afraid and so he put the ring on and disapred first he changed his name to Gollum and for awhile he hung around and he found out the ring made him invisible which was handy for the girls locker room but soon the village people drove him away. The Pervert! So The Nasty murdering Pervert went deep into the tunnels of the misty MT’s caves where he should go and never come out Murders and Killers deserve to be locked in a hole and never let out! He became really ugly and lived off rawfish

Legolas: That is soo gross pardon me while I throw up! I mean look what eating raw fish did to Gollum not good for his skin nor complete darkness sometimes he would grow tired of raw fish and would swim to shore and bribe a Orc to get him some Pizza and when the Orc came back Gollum would have slipped on the ring and snatched it away and ran back to his nasty little island out in a cold lake)

Gollum: ours Island is always clean its not Nasty right my Precious

(Legolas: Whatever don’t call me Precious)

Gollum: Can I call you Darling

Legolas: Only If you like arrows in your eye balls.

Gollum: Legolas it is then) So They sat together in the Darkness they as in Gollum and the ring and Gollum soon became friends with his many personality’s talking to himself and starting to really freak the ring out this went on for 500 years.Once again this Ring has no luck I mean it is evil after all! Anyways one time when Gollum was doing his Pizza thing the Ring slips off his finger as he runs Gollum gets away with the Pizza put loses his ring in the process but doesn’t know it. Then the person who found it was very lucky cause he found it in the dark on .
sheer luck! Or is it luck you decided, but the Rings Plan was spoiled again It was picked up by the most unlikely person because its not likely most people would hang around in dark holes of death exsapshly Mr Bilbo Baggins he lives in The Merry sunshine Village

Bilbo: Its called the shire

(Legolas: Oh sorry I was reading an add for a retirement village oops)

Bilbo: ( roles his eyes)

Legolas: ( who put this here?)

( Merry and Pippin *snicker* from the greenroom Gimli was very happy now and was scaring the young hobbits with his dance act so they tied him to a chair.Merry an Pippin watch on)

Legolas: So Bal Bal Bal Hobbits will Shake I Mean Shape the Fortunes of all it will be the Hour I mean the Age of the Lil Folk! So the picture changes from Dark Cold Gloom to a bright cheery forest 60 years later in the heart of The Shire There is bright blue sky lovely full leafs on trees dark lush green Grass and we come upon a little cute Hobbit Lad. HEY who is Playing Game Boy Frodo you bad Hobbit its your time now

Frodo: OH really sheesh Legolas you do babble on along time!

( Legolas: (yanks game boy out of Frodo’s hand now get this right or no more Game Boy!)

Frodo: Oh ok Fine you big mean head! ( picks up the book and acts like he is reading but is actually plotting what he can do to Legolas for stealing his game boy the nerve he thought) So he hears a chart coming down the lane with his good hobbit ears and leaps up and runs through the forest but there was a rock miss placed and he trips over it landing on his face.

Prop Guy: Oh I’m sorry! ( He says and moves the rock) Frodo checks to see if his ears ripped Nope they were just fine and Gandalf was already sitting in his place.

Gandalf: Your Late Frodo Baggins! ( Gandalf huffs)

Frodo: Sorry I tripped over that stupid rock but I’m here now. How did you know my name I never met you before though Uncle Bilbo told me to watch for you or listen more like it.

Gandalf: I’m a wizard I know much now get into this Chart and give your old Gandie a huggle!

(Legolas:He laughs and Frodo backs away Bilbo told him not to take rides from people he didn’t know)

Frodo: My Uncle Bilbo told me not to take rides from strange people.

Gandalf: Oh come on I won’t hurt you I’m a friend trust me

(Legolas:Frodo Shrugs he could use a ride in town so he leaps into the chart)

Frodo: Ok thanks.( He says)

Gandalf: So are you looking forward to Bilbo’s party?

(Legolas: Gandalf wonders around a lot of smoke. )

Frodo:“Yes its my birthday too you know.” Frodo huffs.” Which they fail to talk about in the film how rude!”

Gandalf: Oh yes how old will you be? A big boy how old 5 years right?”

(Legolas:Forgetting hobbits where naturally small.)

Frodo: NO I’ll be 33 I’m coming of age.”

Gandalf: (Laughs not believing that and ruffles his hair and messes up his wig)

The Wig Person: ( comes over and fixes Frodo’s hair Glaring at Gandalf who smiles sheepishly back then they go on!)

(Legolas: eats some candy cause he loves candy and goes on speaking)

Gandalf: Would you like some candy?” He offers to Frodo.

Frodo: (Thinks about Bilbo again and how he tells him not to take candy from strangers) “Oh no thanks. You know everyone says yours a disturber of the peace cause we Bagginess never had any fun before you came along now we are rebels and everyone fears are name but though everyone in the shire is coming maybe they are afraid not to come. But Uncle invited all the shire he is up to something I think he is running away and is going to leave me but I don't blame him the shire can be crazy at times so whats going on in the world.”

(Legolas: Frodo finally stops for a breath Gandalf sits there still holding the candy just blinking.)

Gandalf: Oh um its Chaos chaos chaos I’m glad it hasn’t come to the shire yet.”

(Legolas: He finally manages to speak he never knew a little hobbit could be so long winded )

Frodo: Can I drive?

Gandalf: Can you hold on to the rains? They are bigger then your whole body.”

Frodo: yeah give um here!” (Legolas: So Gandalf does as Frodo demands and )

Frodo: ( Laughs) Lets get this buggy moving! (Legolas: He cries craking the rains on the horse back and they take off and Gandalf had to catch his huge hat that blows off spilling his pipe weed and some gets stuck in his beard the rest of it blows away and he holds on to the side for dear life as they fly over bumps Frodo laughs like a mad hobbit)

Frodo: Faster Faster!(Legolas: They are headed for what looks like a drop off )

Gandalf: OH No! ( Legolas:The horse put on the emergency brakes the horse stops and Frodo and Gandalf go sailing over the horses head and land in the field of white puff ball dandelions now they both look like puff balls themselves

Frodo: WOOO WHO! That was awesome huh Gandalf?” (Legolas:He nudges Gandalf who lays motionless on the grass Frodo: Gandalfs? Gandalf? (Legolas: He Pokes him then Shakes him)

Gandalf: ( snorts) Oh Hello Frodo must of dozes off there

( Legolas: Old People)

Gandalf: who are you to talk your older then me!

( Legolas: Only in my mind Gandalf live with it now back to the story)

Gandalf: (I’d watch it Mr. Greenleaf)

( Legolas: Ignores the wizard.)

Gandalf: ( yawns) Anyways I can nap when ever I please there is nothing wrong with cat naps. ( he stands up) I’ll see you later Fro K” (Legolas: He says standing up and walking back to his chart and sits down. Frodo fallows looking like a little puffball covered in dandie lion puffs)

Frodo:You want me to drive you?

Gandalf: No! you wonder the country side for awhile me and Bilbo are going to talk about stuff go find that Sam fella you like to spend so much time with you’ll enjoy that. Besides I need a drink. (Legolas: Before Frodo could say anything else or get in the chart he drives away from the Crazy Hobbit.

Frodo: wonders what Gandalf mint about the Sam deal he didn’t care cause he liked Sam so he went to look for him still looking like a puff ball

(Legolas: a very cute one at that) Gandalf Came to BagEnd there was a sign on the fence That read “Privet Property Set a Foot on and its Blasted Off! Unless your hear for Party Biss! Signed BB)