Such is life

Summary: Dom celebrates his birthday with his friends and remembers some things from his past.

Author’s notes: Dedicated to my lovely friends who love giving me masses of useless pink stuff as a birthday present.

Disclaimer: I don’t know anything. I’m just a slash-junky who spends her time with writing silly stories about LotR-actors… *looks at a group of imaginary (they are, but don’t tell them!) elves that are glaring at her* “Sorry! I’ve been neglecting you!” *joins elves and glares at evil plot-bunny* “Your fault! Writing takes so much time…”


3. Celebration time:

//Fuck…// Dom thought as he sat down on the sand of the beach. There it was again, that feeling… He tried to swallow it, burry it under the sand like he did with his bare feet, but it didn’t work.

It came up again and again, didn’t want to be hidden under the sand. Drowning didn’t work either. He had tried it before with masses of alcohol, but little bastards they were, problems could fucking swim.

Dom started to draw pictures into the sand that were made of lines and little spots, occasionally putting in a stick or a stone. Yes, drawing always helped, but the problem was that Dom couldn’t think clearly and that meant he couldn’t come up with a good picture.

//Ouch…// What was that? Angrily Dom stared at the little glass splinter that had cut his skin, trying to kill it with his glare. Curiously he watched the red blood spill from the tiny wound. Would there come more of it if he pressed a little? And really another perfect pearl of blood emerged from the cut.

Just when Dom leaned in to examine the little wound closer his mobile started vibrating in his pocket. //Who the fuck…? Oh…// “Hi, mum!” Dom exclaimed, trying to sound cheery. He suckled on his index finger as he listened to his mother’s congratulations.

“Yes, mum. Of course I will come tonight. I come to you every Sunday evening so why shouldn’t I today?” Dom sighed, pressing his fingernails into his knee. //Stay calm… You can do it.//

“No, I’m just on my way to Orli’s. And… Tomorrow? Mum, I’m leaving for Paris tomorrow. Class trip, remember? Yes, alright. Bye. See ya!”

Dom’s hand was shaking as he put his mobile back into his pocket. //Don’t let it out… Gotta swallow as you always do. Good boy…//


~*~


His parents’ divorce had changed Dom, his nine-year-old brain being forced into the thinking structures of a much older being. There he was now, a child that had already lost its childhood, caught between innocence and knowledge of the shadowy side of life, that not all was gold that glittered.

Later Dom couldn’t even remember ever having had a childhood. His memories were filled with confusion, a grey mist that had laid itself over everything that had happened n the past. There were fragments, glimpses of a person that no longer existed, had died a long time ago.

Sometimes Dom visited his inner graveyard, laying flowers in front of the grey stone that had no name on it, lying down on the green grass in front of it as he listened to his own heartbeat.

//Who am I?// he wondered, the wind caressing his face. Would he be different, another person if his life hadn’t been changed so violently back then?

Dom lifted his arm, protecting his face from the warm sun that shone down on him. Nobody had ever asked if they were allowed to do it, to crush him. They had simply done it, treating on his bleeding heart with their heavy feet.

Dom’s arms reached out, his fingers combing through green grass before settling on the cold stone, caressing its smooth surface.

He felt so utterly alone and lost as he mourned the child that was buried deep down under green grass and cold stone, cried or a life that was no longer his…


~*~


//You’re such a coward, Domenic! They’re your fucking friends, nothing to be afraid of. Now move your fucking ass and knock on that door!// Dom took a deep shivering breath as he waited for somebody to answer the door, forcing a brave smile on his lips as Billy let him in.

“Hey, I’m ready for my birthday!” he exclaimed cheerily, opening his arms to embrace his best friend.

“Happy birthday, love,” Billy smiled and kissed Dom’s cheek, pressing him tight to his chest before letting him go. “I’m glad, you’ve finally arrived, Dom!” Billy’s eyes were twinkling with mischief. “Too much heterosexual energy in there! I swear, if I have to watch Orlando’s and Liv’s upcoming pairing rituals any longer, I’ll die of a het poisoning!”

Dom rolled his eyes. “We’ll make them keep their hands off each other and if that means that we’ll have to make them watch gay porn or something!”

Billy started laughing silently. “Poor Liv! If I didn’t know that Orli was straight I’d say he’s the gayest person I’ve ever met! He might even like it!”

“Who’s gay?” Orli asked who had just appeared in the doorway, Liv hanging happily on his arm.

“We are!” Billy and Dom answered in unison, then giggling happily. “We did it again!” Dom laughed and put his arm around Billy’s waist.

“Happy birthday,” Orli smiled as he and Liv embraced Dom.

“Hey, you’re not that much younger than me, Orli!” Dom exclaimed in mock indignation. “Let’s go in! I want my presents!” Dom decided and dragged Billy towards the living room.

“I should warn you,” Billy whispered into his friend’s ear. “They’ve tried to be funny… Please try to smile when you open your present…”

“Hey!” Orli grabbed Billy by the arm. “No spilling the beans to Dom. It’s supposed to be a surprise!”

“Do I really want to see it?” Dom asked, looking at Billy who was shaking his head enthusiastically.

“Of course you do!” Orli insisted, gesturing proudly at a strange pile covered with a red blanket that was hidden in a corner of the room. “Tada!”

Carefully Dom walked closer, examining the pile and then nodded earnestly. “It’s very…useful. I’ve always wanted to have a thing like that!”

Liv rolled her eyes. “You have to pull the blanket away, dork!”

Looking suspiciously at his friends, Dom grabbed the blanket by a corner. “And it really won’t jump me?” he asked.

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that..” Billy muttered, receiving an angry glare from Orli.

“What do you think of us?” Orli pouted.

“Only the worst,” Dom sighed and pulled the blanket away. “Oh my god!! I’m blind!!” Dom stumbled back, covering his eyes with his hands. “Billy? Orli? Liv? You still there?”

“Ha-ha, funny!” Orli shook his head.

Slowly Dom opened his eyes. “It’s…um…pink,” he stated lamely.

Billy smiled at him sympathetically, mouthing “I told you”.

Yet hope remained for Dom still had to unwrap the presents. Perhaps it looked different from the inside. Of course it didn’t Dom thought as he held up the pink “gay and pride”-T-shirt. “Um, thanks, mates, but you know that I’m still not officially out…”

“When would be better than now then?” Orli asked, ignoring Dom’s grimace at his suggestion.

//As if I hadn’t enough problems without that…//

“It’s not that easy, guys,” Billy said, wrapping an arm protectively around Dom’s shoulder. “Some people are still not as open-minded as they claim to be.”

“So your family still doesn’t know?” Liv smiled encouragingly at Dom.

“Well, I’ve never said anything, but they’re not stupid, you know? Sam knows for sure, has seen me lusting after some guys often enough. We’re into the same kind of men…” Dom shrugged his shoulders, smiling weakly.

“Ooooh!” Orli whistled. “Well, that’s something! And what would that kind of man look like?”

“Ah, shut up!” Dom looked down at his feet.

“No, really! I want to know,” Orli insisted. “Tall, dark and handsome? The ruggedly manly type? Or rather small and delicate with an angel’s face?”

Now even Dom had to laugh. “I’m highly insulted what you think of me! You know that Billy’s the only man in my life!” he giggled, placing a big kiss on his friend’s cheek, who was wiping an imaginary tear from his eyes. “Thank you, darling!”

“Dooleys time!” Liv was holding up a bottle of Dom’s favourite liquor.

“You really know how to make a man happy, sweetie!” Dom smiled and accepted the bottle. “Let’s get the party started!”


~*~


“Bye Orli, bye Liv.” Dom hugged his friends. “Thank you for the wonderful evening and the great…um…gift,” carefully he glanced at the pink items filling his trunk. “See you tomorrow, Orli!” He and Billy got into Dom’s car.

“Puh… I really like them, but sometimes they can be outright exhausting,” Dom sighed as he started the engine and continued to drive.

“I know what you mean,” Billy snorted. “That heterosexual harassment will kill me one day! I’m glad I only have to see them every second weekend.”

“Lucky bastard!” Dom smirked as he pulled into the drive of Billy’s parents’ house. “Here we are. So you’re leaving tomorrow?”

Billy nodded. “Yeah. Boarding school starts on Tuesday. Way too early again…” he sighed. “Hey, have a nice stay in Paris and ignore Orli’s moods!”

“Thanks, Bill!” Dom replied, his voice suddenly shaking. “Sometimes I think you’re the only good thing in my life…”

“Aw! That’s so cute, Dom! Thank you…” Billy hugged his friend as tight as the car they sat in would allow them. “I love you, too, but don’t go all watery on me!”

“No, I won’t!” Dom promised and freed himself from Billy’s arms.

“Be careful on your way home, will ya?” Billy looked earnestly at his friend. “I mean it. No more car crashes!”

“I’ll make sure that I get home safe,” Dom assured, the smile on his lips freezing as he remembered the accident.

Just for one second he had lost control. The car had crashed into the guardrail at 140 km/h. He would’ve possibly been killed if there had been another car involved. The thing that bothered Dom was that he still couldn’t remember what had happened in that one second. He broke down crying that day, got as drunk and as sick as never before, celebrating his newly won life in a lonely feast.

Dom pushed away the memory and tried to concentrate on Billy’s voice.

“Alright then.” Billy got out of the car. “Bye!”

//Home…// the word tasted bitter on Domenic’s tongue as he pulled out of the driveway, driving into the darkness ahead.

Tbc...