Haldir's First Love

Title: Haldir’s First Love
Type: FPHet
Author: Lori Anne
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Haldir/OFC, Rúmil/OFC, Orophin/OFC
Warning: OFC describes her rape in ch. 6 & graphic sexual content in several chapters.
Disclaimer: Tolkien is the master, not me! I own nothing except my OFC’s and one lowly OMC. I have made nothing nor do I intend to make anything from this story except one or two Haldir fans sated.
Beta: Alex
Timeline: Before, during and After the fellowship (which is inconsequential to this story)
Notes: Enjoy!!!!
Summary: After a torturous week, Lorinaura finds comfort in the arms of her childhood love.


Haldir's First Love

Chapter 3 Friend among Foes

"Orophin! Rúmil! To me!" he commanded softly and they immediately obeyed. The party of Orcs had dared to enter his forest. What they were looking for this time was anyone's guess but he did not care in the least. They were not welcome here and they would not be leaving the wood alive.

The Southern fences had been their home for nearly a month now and if all went well, they would be back inside the gates of Caras Galadhon by the end of the week. He could not wait to get a bath and other clothes besides his grey uniform. He loved the uniform, yet one could wear it only a certain number of days before it started to smell as bad as the Orcs they were getting ready to slay.

The three of them watched as the Orc party came closer. They would be within range soon and then it would be all over for them. There were only forty of them, including a wounded one. The three brothers could take down thirteen of these gangly creatures each, even if they did not have the seventeen other wardens waiting patiently with them.

"They move closer, Haldir," said Orophin, though he knew Haldir had not taken his eyes from them even for a moment. His steady, assessing gaze was all encompassing to a fault.

'They will never know what hit them. We will not even have to descend from the trees,' he thought and then said, "Wait for it." Haldir raised his hand knowing all the wardens within range were intently watching him. They waited for their Captain to signal those who were close enough, to fire. He knew each one of them had their arrows nocked and would fight to the death for him, for the Lady and for Lothlórien. He would expect nothing less from any of his wardens.

When the band of Orcs came within a few hundred yards of his talan, he lowered his hand and the arrows began to fly. He aimed and 'SWOOSH' hit the first in the neck, 'SWOOSH' the second went down, 'SWOOSH' a third. A fourth began to run from them while dragging another behind him. Haldir watched as the frail looking Orc was tossed behind a small mellyrn tree. 'SWOOSH' down went the fourth, but he had no shot at the other.

"Orc's do not care for their wounded or dead," he muttered to himself as he stood with his bow to his side looking over the seemingly emptied forest. All was quiet, but he saw just a hint of black armor still peeking out from behind the tree. 'That is new,' he thought to himself with an eyebrow raised, 'An Orc hiding his wounded brother.' Knowing the other wardens were watching with the same questions on their minds, he surveyed the area slowly, east from the fences to the forest's edge. "What do you see, Rúmil?"

Never taking his eyes or his arrow off the hiding Orc, Rúmil replied, "Just the one behind the tree. What do you suppose he is doing?"

"Dying, most likely," Haldir answered.

"He is taller than the rest of his company. I have never seen an Orc standing as straight as an elf," said Orophin, also keeping the Orc in his sites.

"Nor have I. I am going down." Raising an eyebrow at his brother, he said, "I trust you will not shoot me by mistake."

"You are so very amusing today, brother. If I was to shoot you, I can assure you, it would not be a mistake," Rúmil scoffed.

Climbing from the talan, Haldir soundlessly walked to the tree hiding the Orc. Not only was it taller than the norm, he could see it was also thinner. It slowly began sinking its way to the ground and by the time Haldir came around the tree, it was sitting down, with its head buried between its knees. This Orc was not dressed in their standard armor, but seemed to have haphazard wares merely draped across its chest, legs and arms. Also, the helmet it was wearing looked particularly large for its head

At first, he thought one of his elves had shot the creature. Upon closer inspection, he noticed it was bleeding red and there was a black fletched arrow through its shoulder. When the creature fell over, he saw a glint of pale skin on one hand and bent to inspect it. He took a leaf from the ground, rubbed it over the spot, and found the greenish tint of its skin wiped off. Curiously, he took the hand in his, pulling the creature to sit once more and the oversized helmet fell off, spilling long, bloodstained, ashen hair around a dirty, yet familiar face.

"Rúmil! Tula, hi!" he yelled up through the trees.

Rúmil quickly climbed down, running to his brother and as he approached, he gasped in horror, "Lorinaura?" He then looked to Haldir for answers, knowing they were not going to come.

"Help me get her onto the talan," Haldir said as calmly as he could muster. No one but Rúmil or Orophin would have noticed the sheer terror in his voice. Haldir picked her up from the forest floor and began running back to the talan while Rúmil instinctively tore off her boots and pieces of her armor, leaving them on the ground.

Rúmil climbed the ladder ahead of his brother, grabbing Lorinaura under the arms as Haldir lifted her through the hole. He laid her gently upon the floor and he and Orophin quickly stripped her of the rest of the foreign armor, so they could better assess her wounds.

"Get the arrow out of her before too much of the poison sets in," Haldir yelled as he ascended the ladder.

"Lorinaura! Can you hear me, little sister?" cried Rúmil looking to her closed eyes for any movement. He firmly gripped her jaw and with his voice near panic, pleaded, "Saes lasto beth nin, Aura! Tolo dan nan galadh!"

Orophin ripped her filthy clothing with his knife and then dashed to the chest in the corner of the talan for the pouch of herbs they kept for wounds.

"Get away from her!" Haldir ordered a little more harshly than he intended, but neither Rúmil nor Orophin noticed. They knew he must have room to heal her properly.

As he tried to assess her wounds, Haldir was unable to see where they lay for all the filth covering her. With a sigh, he began at her feet, holding his hands just close enough to feel the heat from her body. Forcing himself to focus and his hands to steady, he closed his eyes, searching for disturbances in her essence. He began to feel a tingling sensation in his fingers as he moved to the top of her thigh and looked up to find Rúmil holding one of the skins of water out to him. After cleansing the area of the foul, grey substance, he saw the injury was deep, though not so damaging as to impair her later.

Returning his hands, this time touching her lightly to close the wound, he felt a tugging at his heart. A memory of long ago crept to mind, when she inflicted a similar injury to the same leg. Shaking himself from the thought, he resumed the search only to stop again at her stomach. Repeating the washing and healing, he sealed this wound, as well.

Taking his hands upward along the midline of her torso, he began to shudder as he neared her heart. 'Such purity,' he thought and then shrieking took hold of his mind. "BAW! SAES, DARO!" she was screaming. He shook his head, trying to get the screams to lessen enough for him to begin again. With a monumental effort, he moved his trembling hands over her shoulder. "The arrow?" he asked.

"Went all the way through," Orophin replied as he handed Haldir the pouch.

Haldir sifted through the various herbs to find a vial of very thin powder. He sniffed it, recoiled from its rank odor and muttered, "Still good."

Orophin and Rúmil stood in shock of the situation. Their movements were labored as their minds tried to grasp the happenings. Haldir seemed to be the only one unaffected and he was moving rapidly to save her. He must save her.

Pouring the powder onto his tongue, it turned to a white paste. He spit it onto a leaf Orophin was holding and dipped his first finger taking nearly half. Looking to her face, he said, "I am sorry, Aura." He plunged his finger into the arrow's entry mark, following its path as far as he could.

She jerked slightly, but otherwise remained still. As he rescinded his finger, he turned his hand to spread the paste evenly within the injury. He could feel his stomach churning as he used the rest of the paste to coat the exit wound in the same manner. Placing one hand over the entry and one over the arrow's exit, he closed his eyes, concentrating on pulling the poison out and sealing her flesh.

"That is all I can do for her here; we need to get her to the Lady. Orophin, you are the fastest, make haste and ask Galadriel to meet me at Aura's house. If I can get her to the city in time, Galadriel will be able to heal her properly"

"Aye," Orophin whispered, still looking at Lorinaura.

"EGO!" Haldir bellowed, shaking Orophin out of his trance. His youngest brother leapt from the talan, not bothering with the ladder at all and ran towards the City.

Haldir pulled his cloak from around himself, placing it over her body as Rúmil lifted her. Climbing halfway down the ladder, Haldir told Rúmil to bring her through and draped her over his shoulder. He winced at the feel of her; it was as if he carried an elfling's doll...lifeless. "Take care of the carcasses; burn them and then return to the city. Tell the others to be on their guard."

"Aye. Go swiftly brother. All will be as you command," stated Rúmil.

Once to the forest floor, he ran to Caras Galadhon as he had never run before.

**********


Galadriel paced within Lorinaura’s home for an hour as she waited for Haldir to arrive. Bidding him to put her on the table, she immediately began to work the magic only the Lady herself possessed.

By the time she was done, night had fallen and they were all nearly exhausted with worry. Celeborn came to speak with Haldir and Orophin about what happened. He let them know the last message sent from the house of Elrond was one of well tidings. In the communication, Lorinaura lived happily in Imladris and was quite an asset to Elrond's vast libraries. She quickly became a renowned historian, translator and even took a position teaching the common tongue to some of the messengers.

"What do you suppose happened? Why was she returning to Lórien? How did she end up with a band of Orcs?" Haldir asked, knowing his questions were coming too quickly to answer.

"Slow down, son. I do not have the answers you seek. Perhaps when Lorinaura awakes, she will tell you all you need to know." He looked to Galadriel, who, though radiant as ever, seemed tired. "My dear, have you done all you can?"

"Yes, for now. We must wait until she wakes," she answered gravely and then looked to Haldir. "She was closest to you. Will you stay with her tonight?"

A pang of guilt suddenly struck him at Galadriel's words. Was he truly the one to which she had been closest? He had not even said goodbye to her the day she left for Imladris; he just simply could not bear it. Orophin had told him she looked crushed when he had not bothered to come. He should have told her not to go...should have begged her. He should have had the guts to take her in his arms and keep her there until she listened to reason. She may have still gone, but at least he could have tried. "I can think of no place else I would be able to be, my lady," he answered quite honestly.

"Good, she will need to be bathed, clothed and then put into her own bed. Will you need help with any of that?"

"Only the clothing. She had nothing worth saving when we found her."

"Then I will prepare appropriate attire for her. Orophin, you can come to the main house in a few moments to get it." Orophin nodded and Galadriel turned her attention back to Haldir. "Be sure she sleeps. Keep her company if she dreams. I fear she has been through more than either of us can imagine."

"Yes, as do I," he said looking to the half-naked elleth lying before him. "Thank you for coming."

"Haldir, she is as much my daughter as you are my son. I raised you and love you both dearly." She smiled weakly as she walked toward the door with Celeborn. "Send word to me. I want to be here just after she wakes. She will be in much pain."

"Yes, my lady," he said with a bow as the Lord and Lady walked out. "Orophin, will you go to my house and get me a change of dry clothing, also?"

"Brother, you are not wet," he stated with obvious question.

A little irritated, he replied, "I know of no other way to bathe her but to be in the water to hold her up and I do not plan to disrobe. Will you get me dry clothes or not?"

"Certainly. I apologize. I will even bring some food from the kitchens if you wish," he said sheepishly, trying to make up for his obvious lack forethought.

"That would be fine. Go now and I will tend to her," Haldir commanded softly slipping into deep thought.

He spread several drying cloths onto the bathing room floor as the tub filled with warm water and set his boots and socks outside the door. Just as he turned to go get her, he ran back to the washroom and heaved several times in the basin, bringing up his entire lunch.

"This day cannot possibly get worse," he mumbled to himself and then as if on cue, he began to heave again. This time only thick yellow fluid came up. Rinsing his mouth out with cold water, desperately wanting the foul taste out, he thought, 'Well, there it is. I stand corrected.'

Once he felt he would not be vomiting anymore, he walked back to the table holding Lorinaura and looked down at her longingly. Even now, she was stunning and as he stared at her, his thoughts carried him back to his first trial.

The day had started out well enough. He was nervous, but it was expected. After all, a decorated warden had never challenged him before. It did not help matters, at all, that it was Lord Celeborn, himself, who had made the challenge. Since he had grown up in Celeborn's home, Haldir knew his trials would be doubly difficult. There could be no air of impropriety. No reason to dispute the trials validity and there were those who felt Celeborn would do anything, even give in a little, to help Haldir into the station of Warden. They could not have been more mistaken.

He had taken his armor and dressings to Lorinaura's new house a few hours before noon and she had helped him get ready. He did not know it at the time, but those few moments spent with her, would come to be some of the most treasured time in his life.

She said so many things to steady him and to make him laugh. She told him that he would surely win for he had the two most beautiful she-elves in the city cheering him on. She also warned him not to hurt poor Celeborn too badly in the challenge or Galadriel would likely send him to bed without his supper for a week.

She was always so witty. He loved that about her.

When midday came, they walked to the training fields arm in arm. He was so proud to have her with him on that day. In front of everyone, she had kissed him on the cheek and told him it was for luck. Hadn't he made some arrogant statement about how he did not need luck for he had skill?

Ah, yes. Without missing a beat, she responded by whispering, "Perhaps all your skill could be put to a more pleasurable use," causing an immense heat to rise within him. To this day, no other elleth had ever dared say anything so bold to him. Not that he would have tolerated it from them. Oh, no. She was definitely the only female he had ever allowed to speak to him as such.

There were three phases to the test: archery, sword fighting and healing. In the archery challenge, Celeborn took the lead shot and Haldir matched him time after time, never missing even by a hairsbreadth. On the last shot, Haldir split Celeborn's arrow, hitting the center of the target dead on. None other than Galadriel, herself, awarded him his Archer's pin.

The next phase, sword fighting, was by far the most challenging for him. If it had been anyone else, he would have held no restraint against his opponent. But, Celeborn was more dear to him than his own father and it pained him to best him too badly. Their swords clashed and parried rather effortlessly for a long while, until finally Celeborn got close enough to whisper to him. He would never forget his guardian's words or the wicked smile he wore while speaking them. "Obviously you will not best me, elfling, but if you do not at least make an attempt, I am going to go to Lorinaura and tell her of what it is you dream each night."

He had been utterly shocked. He looked to Lorinaura as Celeborn was speaking and remembered his face feeling feverish. When he looked back to Celeborn, he could tell the Lord of Lothlórien was not remotely joking. Haldir took him down in three strokes, bloodied his nose and bruised his ribs in the process. He was awarded his Swordsman's pin.

He placed his hands upon Celeborn's ribs, closed his eyes, healed the bruises quickly, and then moved to his bloodied nose. But, one of the requirements was the healing of a deep gash and since no one was injured as such, he would have to wait for another day to finish. He had known this would be the case, but he had still been just a little disappointed. He had wanted to start right away.

To his bafflement, Lorinaura walked onto the field to Celeborn and asked how deep a wound it had to be. When he answered her, she took out a fighting knife she had hidden in her pocket and quickly plunged it into her thigh. He and Celeborn both were utterly horrified. Celeborn had to hold Galadriel back so at least Lorinaura's efforts, however misguided, would not be in vain.

Haldir ran to her, nearly in tears, and began healing her leg. Never had anyone done something so incredibly foolish for him. When the wound sealed, he had felt such overwhelming relief. He was rewarded with his healing pin and immediately began his duties as a warden by carrying his patient to The Lady, so she could vanish the scar.

On the way over to Galadriel, Lorinaura gave him a kiss on the jaw and whispered to him, "I knew you could do it. Do you think it all right if I am proud of you now?" He was truly too distraught to say anything to her, so he just shook his head in disbelief.

Thinking back to that day, how could he not have known she loved him? How daft did you have to be not to see the complete faith she must have had in him. Now, seeing her lying there, knowing he was close to losing her again, he was plagued by that same distraught feeling.

Placing his hand on her forehead, he looked to her as if by his sheer will alone, he could wake her. When she made no move, he sighed in defeat and carried her to the bath. Sinking her frail body into the center of the tub, he kept her seated and removed the cloak from around her. Slipping into the tub behind her, he rested her back against his chest and wrapped his legs around her firmly, so she would not slide forward.

Many times, had he sat in a bath like this and washed his elleth of the eve. Although, admittedly, none of those females had ever been unconscious or even sleeping, for that matter, and he had certainly never done it fully clothed himself. He could honestly say he would prefer to be totally disrobed right now, but being nude in a bath with Lorinaura seemed just wrong, somehow.

Not because he had never thought of it, growing up and certainly not because he still didn't think of the last time he called her sister. How he had thought his heart would explode as he stood before her. It was more because she had been gone so long. She had probably changed much in the time since she left for Imladris with Mendolir.

In all truth, Mendolir was the main reason he did not go to her before she left the Golden Wood. He had hoped he would some day get up the nerve to take their relationship a step further, but any advance he made, Mendolir made three. He saw them kissing the evening just after his trials. It had felt as if a knife sliced him open and he dropped the idea of love on that day, seeking only relief instead.

However, that was many centuries ago and though he never received word of her binding to Mendolir, she probably had. She could not possibly be the same elleth he once knew, either way...could she? What he did know was some things never change and Elbereth forbid, if she awoke to find herself in a bath with him, she would certainly be furious. Her wild-eyed ire aimed at him was the last thing he wanted right now.

After pouring the warm water over her hair, he eased her forward so he could wash it completely. It was thick with blood and he knew it could not all be hers; some of it was distinctly Orc blood. "Fuiol!" he muttered as the thick blackness washed from her. He let the water drain out of the tub and refilled it, careful not to scald her.

"Now the hard part," he whispered to her. "I hope you can forgive me for this, little sister." He looked at her face to see if she was still unchanged before he began. If anything would raise her from the dead, it would be to call her sister. With a saddened sigh, he began to wash her body.

He leaned her forward, once again, washing her back. The lavender smell of the soap was magnificent for drowning out the foulness of Orc. Breathing deeply, he removed one of his legs from around her, washed her leg and hip, and then replaced his hold on her, repeating the same action to the other side. He laid her back against him, washed the black and green filth from her face and then bathed each arm, careful not to be too harsh with her shoulder. Her hands were encased in a hardened film of grey and black. He had never seen anything like it.

With another deep breath, he asked, "Aura, are you awake?" Then looking at her face again for any sign of stirring, he found nothing. "Alright, here goes."

Beginning with her stomach, he washed the grime from her torso, moving upward first to her chest. He noted his breathing begin to quicken and forced himself to repeat the phrase, "My sister. You are my sister." She would hate his words and would most likely flog him if she were awake to hear them, but it was the only thing keeping him from thinking about what he had to do.

Her breasts were encased in the same substance as her hands and he was forced to actually scrub them. "Well, of course. None of this could be simple," he sighed. Gazing down at what he was doing, the way her skin reddened under the cloth, he shook his head and began to reiterate, "My sister, you are my sister." His body knowing, full well, she was not.

As he washed diligently, he glanced to her face every few seconds checking for any sign of consciousness and with one more deep breath, he thought, 'At this point, I would rather you be asleep.' Washing her inner thighs and between her legs, he tried desperately not to have any purely male thoughts, but failed miserably.

All he could think about was her moving day, when she told him she was not his sister. How he desperately wanted to knock on her door again, take her in his arms and kiss her until she shook with desire. It would not have been his first kiss, even then, but at the time, he thought it might well be the best he would ever have. He never asked her what her true meaning of that action was, though it caused many wakeful nights. It still did, frequently. In fact, he was afraid to ask her for fear he would be told she always hated living with him and his brothers. That would not only hurt him deeply, but it would also take away his greatest fantasy. Sometimes, it was the only thing getting him through his long patrols.

"Well, that is over," he muttered. "Now what?" Letting the water drain again, he looked down at Lorinaura, with his arms crossed at her chest and then removed his legs from around her. In one smooth motion, he lifted her up, steadying himself with his knees on the side of the tub, grumbling, "Where are you with our clothes, Orophin?"

Seeing his brother was not yet there, he stepped out onto the drying cloths, placing another larger one over the bulk of Lorinaura's torso. He grabbed one more cloth as he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. With only minimal effort, he laid her on her side and covered her with the extra cloth.

Heading to the washroom, he took off his outer and under tunics, wrung them out and hung them over the edge of the washtub. Drying himself off first, he moved into the bedroom and gently dried Lorinaura. Looking down at her, he wondered what would have happened if she had not moved to Rivendell. Gods, she was beautiful! Would he have finally mustered the courage to do something as simple as hold her hand if she had stayed?

"Aura, my love, what has happened to you?" he whispered as he smoothed her wet hair from her face. His voice seeming familiar...yet the words, foreign. Had he just said that?

Looking at her wrists, he could still see two small bands of bruising he and the Lady missed in their healing. They must have been hidden beneath the film. He brushed his hands over both wrists lightly, fading the marks.

He left her for the washroom, once more, so he could clean up the mess he made. Sopping the water and picking up the drying cloths spread over the floor gave his leggings time to dry. "And I thought wet leggings were uncomfortable," he remarked with a soft sarcastic snort. It had been a very long time since anything was this painfully tight around him. He considered taking them off, however the thought of her waking to find him parading around in a towel, stayed the idea.

With nothing else to tend to until Orophin brought them clothing, he took the brush from her dresser and knelt down beside her to brush her hair. "Aura, can you hear me?" he whispered into her ear with no response. "You might as well wake up, lirimaer, for I will not let you go again."

Orophin came into the room holding a mountain of clothing, mostly chemises and gowns, small tunics and leggings, and night ware for both him and her. "I thought you may need more than just a tunic and leggings. I figured you would not want to leave here until she was awake. The Lady told me it would most likely be morning or just after," he said laying her things on the dresser and putting Haldir's beside him on a chair. "Food is on the table."

"Thank you, Orophin."

"How is she?"

"She sleeps," he answered still running the brush through her hair. "Help me get her clothing on her, will you?" Orophin nodded and they put her into one of the sleeping gowns, pulled back her bedding and tucked her in, each kissing her on the forehead.

"I cannot believe you got in the water with your clothes on. She would have never known had you disrobed."

"I would have known," he stated simply and then picked up a sleeping shirt and leggings as he walked into the next room.

As Haldir changed into the dry clothing, Orophin walked in. "I didn't know what you would feel like eating, so I brought a bit of everything. I am not particularly hungry anymore."

Looking at the large platter of food, Haldir said, "Nor am I." When back at the fences, he distinctly remembered being starved, but now, food was the last thing he wanted.

Thinking of what he should do next, he watched Orophin take the food into the kitchen and then clean the rest of the blood off her table. Phin had always been quite the neat elf. He and Rúmil used to tease him profusely because he kept his house as neat and orderly as an elleth. Now, Haldir found himself relieved someone else was undertaking the task.

As he sank down into the couch, a very shrill scream came from the bedroom, pulling him from his deep thoughts and nearly stopping his heart altogether. With lightening speed, Haldir ran in to find her thrashing the quilts in her sleep and crying. He rushed to her side and tried to hold her hands, afraid she was going to hurt herself and immediately got kicked in the groin. He dropped to his knees with a groan.

"BAW! BAW! SAES DARO!" she screamed at him, her eyes squeezed shut.

Finally catching his breath he shouted, "Aura!" But, she didn't hear him, or at least she didn't seem to. He walked to the other side of the bed, avoiding another kick and lifted the quilt behind her. Lying down, he pulled her back to his chest for the second time and enveloped her, holding her arms to her chest.

She became much more vigorous in her struggles and even tried to kick him again. As tears spilled down her face, she began pleading, "Baw! Daro! Saes Daro! Saes! Baw!"

He kept hold of her, this time, and wrapped his leg around both of hers. Orophin stood in the doorway and once Haldir had her contained, he walked to the side of the bed to see her. She was thrashing, even under Haldir's strength, and still yelling.

"Orophin, make her sleep! She is going to open her wounds if she keeps this up!"

Orophin knelt down in front of her, placing his hand over her eyes and said, "Sleep well, sister."

Lorinaura relaxed, nestled into Haldir's arms and whispered absently, "I am not your sister," and then slipped into a deep sleep.

With a slight smirk, Orophin whispered, "She has not changed a bit." He kissed her on the forehead once more and said, "I will clean the rest of the kitchen and then go."

Haldir smiled, closing his eyes and when he heard Orophin leave the house, he whispered to her, "I have loved you since you dried my tears so long ago. Please come back to me. I don't want you to leave me."

*********************
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Tula hi -- Come now
Lasto beth nin - Listen to my voice
Tolo dan nan galadh - come back to the light
Ego - go / be off
Fuiol - Disgusting
Baw! - No!
Daro! - Stop !
Saes - Please
Lirimaer - lovely one