Haldir's Heart

***** The claws that captured my blackened heart I can still feel those hands *****

Haldir hurried through the tall trees, every so often he passed an elf and he stopped to ask them if they had seen G'lia, some of them had and some had not. He did not want to think of what could happen to her if she wandered too far, his marchwardens were good but they were not babysitters. In his rush to find her he nearly ran right past her, she was not alone however. He stepped back behind the tree and stopped to listen.

"But Hadir doesn't understand!" She said.

"Perhaps not, but he is willing to try and that is all that counts in the end." Celeborn said.

"How old are you?" He asked this almost as if it were an afterthought.

"Mama said that we were coming here for my fourth begetting day." She held up four fingers, as if quite proud of the fact. Then she lowered her hand again, and her head dropped.

***** They left me with that tearing lie Sinking into my anguish *****

"He was telling the truth wasn't he?" She asked sadly. Celeborn nodded and then realising she could not see him, he spoke aloud.

"I am afraid so. I am sorry, but so is your father." She looked up at him slightly confused.

"He was not my father, he was Mama's friend. Hadir will be mad at me." She mumbled.

"No he won't. He has never done this before that is all."

"Yes he will, he shouted at me."

"He is worried about, he does not want to see you hurt." Celeborn turned his head slightly, a small smile coming to his face

"Is that not true Haldir?" The somewhat shamefaced Haldir came out from behind the tree and nodded slightly.

"Yes, my lord." He said. Celeborn stood up and gestured for Haldir to take his place next to G'lia, who was staring up at Haldir in some fear. Once the march warden sat down Celeborn looked off in the direction of his own talan.

"I think I can hear Galadriel calling me." He said, and left them alone in the waning light.

"I am sorry." Haldir said to her quietly.

"Why? You did not kill her, the orcs did. I miss her." She whispered, snuggling into his side. They sat like that for a while, until she fell asleep, then he carried her back to his talan and tucked her into the small bed. He stood watching her sleep for a few moments before going to his own room.

***** Now every night I hide Fearful ears listening for those carpeted footsteps My life has become an empty cell *****

In her room G'lia was tossing and turning in her bed as nightmares assailed her even in sleep. She could hear her mothers voice as she tried to stop the orcs that pursued her daughter. In her dreams she ran through the forests of Lorien, orcs chased her grunting foul words.

"Run G'lia, we are not far from the borders! You will meet the March wardens there and you will be safe then!" Her mothers voice was getting hoarse, it broke off in a scream of pain. G'lia could feel her own breath burning in her lungs. They were so close now that G'lia could almost smell them, she cast a glance back over her shoulder and was just starting to think that she would escape these vile creatures when she slammed into something in solid and unmoving in front of her, she slowly turned her eyes upward and took a step back as she saw the huge orc in front of her, he grabbed her up in his arms and carried her back to the clearing that the orcs had made. She could see her mother looking down at her; a sadness that G'lia didn't understand was in her eyes. The orc who carried her yanked her arms above her head and first tied her hands to the trees and then she felt cold steel press against her hand, before she looked at her mother uncertainly, but for some reason her mother refused to meet her eyes. Then she knew why her mother could not look at her as she felt the agonising pain of a nail being hammered through her hands. She started screaming.

Haldir came awake with a start, for a moment he lay on his bed wondering what it was that had woken him, and then he heard the scream again. Instantly he was out of bed and racing towards G'lias room, on the way he smashed his knee of the table and gave a muttered curse. He saw her thrashing on the bed trying in vain to escape whatever demons chased her, moans and cries escaped her lips as he sat down on the bed next to her and gently shook her shoulders to wake her. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him eyes filled with fear, then scuttled backwards on the bed trying to escape from him.

"G'lia, it's me, Haldir." He spoke quietly, trying to calm her down. She shook her head frantically and pressed herself against the headboard.

"Stay away from me!" Her voice was whispered and filled with fear. He sighed, he was ill equipped to deal with this, but he had to try.

"It's ok; it was just a bad dream." His voice gentle, he continued speaking to her and eventually she calmed down. She started to sob quietly and Haldir pulled her into his arms and rocked her gently back and forth, whispering words of reassurance to her.

"I tried to run like mama told me, but I wasn't fast enough and they brought me back and they and they." She broke off again.

"Just a bad dream, it's all over now, it's ok." He crooned softly to her. She shook her head and looked up at him through tear filled eyes.

"No, they'll come back for me when I got to sleep. Don't leave me alone, please?" She begged him. He nodded and held her as she slowly drifted back to sleep; he carefully tucked her back into bed and moved to the chair next to her bed. He watched her as she slept, she looked so much more peaceful when she was asleep, and none of the terror that was her constant companion when she was awake showed in her features.

When she woke up the next morning she didn't talk of the previous night's dreams, and Haldir did not mention it to her, not wanting to upset her again. But she seemed even quieter than she had been before the nightmares.

***** And I am the prisoner
My wings have flown away
And my soul lays scattered,
Flung into broken memories.
*****