My Heart

Title: My Heart (3/)
Author: Alifa
Pairing: A/L and hint of Elladan/Elrohir
Warning: R
Daimeaimer: If only they were mine but sadly enough they are not. I do not own them nor am I making any money out of them.
Summary: Legolas and Aragon’s Relationship *I suck at summaries just read* for now this are just their thoughts about it
Feedback: Oh Yes please more and more!!!!!!
Authors notes: This is my first story so PLEASE!!!!! be kind to me. For now its all Au, I have no idea about elvish bonding customs so I made up all these hehehe. The story is not Betaed cause I have no beta reader *working on that one*. The elvish language used is both Sindarin and Quenya, I have tried my best with the translations. And this signs ``mean they are far speaking or mind speaking in simple terms.

Estel

I come awake at the pre-hours of dawn, dragging myself out of the realms of dreams like a newborn child pushing itself out of its mother’s womb. And like a newborn child for a minute I too am blind, vulnerable, all my senses having shut down when the bond took over. It is only my sense of touch that has not been affected and through it I can feel Legolas familiar weight in my arms, the soft rise and fall of his chest and silky cover of his wayward golden tresses all over our bodies. And of course his ever calming aura in my mind. I remember the first time we joined together the flow of emotions and thoughts that had come through the bond had been so overwhelming that after I orgasmed I fell unconscious for hours. Legolas had almost gone berserk with worry when I failed to gain consciousness a few minutes later and if it was not for the combined help of my father, Gandalf and King Thranduil calming him down I do not know what he would have done.

Hours later when I regained consciousness we were both advised to moderate our emotions when we made love and try to minimise the flow of emotions coming through the bond, for my mind was still young and their was a risk of it collapsing due to the overwhelming emotions. Our bond was a thing unheard of, for never has it been experienced in all the elves lives of a male elf finding a soul mate in a male human. Elves believe that when Eru the One creates a persons fëa sometimes he also creates another matching one for it, these two fëas are then born separately other times together as seen with my twin brothers Elladan and Elrohir. But when born separately this two fëas would always seek each other out never finding any satisfaction or being unable to commit themselves to their partners, so restless are they that when they die without finding their other half they are reborn again to continue their search. And if they do find their other half, should one of them die the other immediately follows for such is the strength of their bond.

But those who do not share such a fate their path is more easier, for they can love and bond with whomever they wish and should they loose their beloved one to death, the ones left behind can be prevented from grief through the bond of their children if they had any or one can take a lover to help them bear the burden. Since none knew if this applied to humans it was a part of my education at Imladris that I was never taught as a child, I knew only the basics about elven bonding and this I was explained too by my father after catching both my brothers in an uncompromising position on the kitchen table one night when he had accompanied me to get a warm glass of milk since I could not sleep.

There love is a unique one, forged from the time they spent sharing the same womb and from birth they had always known that they were meant for each other and as such were never plagued by the restlessness that is usually common with people with such fëas. Elves do not discriminate about love but instead celebrate it in all its forms, unlike other races that viewed such a type of union as unholy. It was bad enough both were of the same sex but to also be brothers it was a sin beyond reckoning.

As for me I had always been drawn to Legolas like a moth drawn to an open flame, from the minute I laid my eyes on him and through the years we became the best of friends. Many commented on our closeness, how we could always tell each other’s emotions or thoughts without words. But also how we could also always sense each other’s whereabouts, the latter coming into fore when I strayed from my brothers as a child one day in Mirkwood and got lost. I had only just started learning the art of far speaking and could not project my thoughts far enough and so was unable to call for my brothers. If it wasn’t for Legolas I would probably had fallen prey to some foul beasts that lurked in the forest. By the time I reached the tender age of fourteen it was clear to all and also to me that Legolas and I were soul mates, our partings were becoming more painful plunging me in depressions that would weeks for me to pull myself out of. As a child I could handle this partings as I always had my family to keep me busy, though I would weep for days and would not be comforted until promised that I too could go visit Legolas in Mirkwood. I can not explain this profound feelings I had for him, yes he was beautiful; fairest of all his folk even more beautiful than my sister Arwen whose beauty is likened to Lúthien herself. He was also a warrior, his skill with his bow was known throughout all the elven kingdoms, but to me he was like a gold incrusted blade beautiful to look at yet deadly to touch.

Finally unable to also bear our partings Legolas confessed his feelings about me to both his father and mine. Father was against him expressing his love for me for I was yet still to young and had only entered that stage of adolescence. Thranduil though in fear of loosing his beloved child to a mortal death forbid Legolas from seeing me again and from visiting Rivendale. On arriving home in Mirkwood Legolas started fading and nothing his family and all the healers in Mirkwood could do, to pull him out of the grief he had succumbed too. Back home in Rivendale on hearing that I would never see legolas again I too succumbed to depression, I refused to eat, drink and would enclose myself in my room shunning all company.

We were both dying, for our souls could not stand the forced separation enforced on us after having found each other. It was Mithrandir who finally interfered demanding that Thranduil bring his son to Rivendale to bond with me or face loosing his youngest child. In Rivendale both Mithrandir and Ada proceeded to form a temporary bond between legolas and I, so that he could be able to draw strength from me as he recovered. After almost loosing his son King Thranduil reluctantly gave his consent for Legolas and I to fully bond but only when I reached my majority at twenty years of age. Till then we could not be separated for though physically we were both of fine spiritually we were still very weak and needed each other’s presence. We were only able to part for a few hours from each other before the bond would start weakening.

Ada then informed both Legolas and I about my destiny that I was Isildur’s heir and that a day would come when I would have to leave home to claim my throne in Gondor and so we should be prepared for hard times ahead of us. And on the day of my majority in front of both our families and friends Mithrandir who officiated the ceremony officially bonded legolas and me.

I feel my senses slowly returning and when I open my eyes I find blue twinkling eyes looking down at me. “Mara tuilë melethron (good morning beloved/lover) legolas says hovering over me, “brooding again Estel” he asks. “Actually I was thinking about that beautiful barmaid who propositioned me in Bree, what was her name again?” I teasingly reply. Legolas answer is to lightly smack me up my head; quickly I grab his hands and reverse our positions straddling his hips. I groan as both our lengths come into contact.

Tbc.