Ladder

Thank you to everyone who gave my little story so many hits! I am touched.

If you want the feel of the fic as I was writing it, you might want to get ahold of these tunes: 'Dig It' by Skinny Puppy (the backseat car song), 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails, 'Temple of Love (1992 Touched by the Hand of Ofra Haza)' by Sisters of Mercy (the song Elijah plays to tempt Hayden), 'Love Like Blood' by Killing Joke and 'Smothered Hope', also by Skinny Puppy. Add any more tunes, as you will- I find that Stabbing Westward's 'Ungod' and 'Darkest Days' cds, as well as NIN's 'Pretty Hate Machine' and 'Downward Spiral' work just as well. :-)

On with the fic....


You wanted a long flirtation
Your plane doesn't ever land
Some things I don't want to look at
I don't want to understand...


The music kept playing as they laid in the backseat, Hayden’s eyes slightly closed as Jordan nuzzled into his neck slightly. He ran a hand over Jordan’s hair, his fingers sliding through the still-spiky strands, and felt him moan.

‘You better stop that,” he heard him murmur into his neck.

‘Why?”

He raised his head and gave a small smile. ‘Because I like it.’

Hayden grinned. ‘So, shouldn’t I do it *just* because of that alone?,” he teased.

He sat up a bit, propping himself on one elbow, and narrowed his eyes a bit. ‘Maybe….if you don’t wanna be able to walk tomorrow.’

‘I see….,” he trailed off. “So…is it…like…..a fetish, or something?”

‘Ummm, yeah, a bit of one,” he said softly. ‘More of a kink, really.”

Hayden raised a brow and asked, ‘How so?” He knew about kinks, and didn’t think that hair was an obvious one.

‘I like it when it’s pulled. Hard.”

‘Well….wow,’ he said, flustered. ‘Umm…really?”

He nodded. “Don’t you have any?”

“Can’t say that I do…”

Jordan looked skeptical. “Not one.”

‘No…no, I don’t think so…’ He wasn’t sure that he was even knew what it meant anymore.

‘Like….what do you like? What turns you on?’ Should he asking me this, looking like some devilish angel? ‘When you’re with someone-’

‘A girl, you mean?”

‘If you must limit yourself….yeah, with a girl.”

“Well,” he started off, then paused. “I….ummm…I like to kiss…”

He lowered his head to his chest, smiling. ‘Go on.’

‘And…uh…I like to….touch…’

‘Sounds good…..what else?”

He paused, thinking. Jordan broke in, asking, “You do go down, don’t you?”

He flushed slightly. “Go…down?”

“Give her head, Hayden. Don’t you lick pussy?”

He bit his lip. “Err…well…”

Jordan chuckled. “You don’t go down, Hayden?,” he said with a laugh. “Give me a break…..are you serious?”

He nodded, a bit shamefaced. “I…tried…once…but I was just…not sure….and I was kind….nervous….”

Jordan touched his face lightly. “Nervous?” He touched his lips next and added, “With these lips? And that tongue? Come *on*, Hayden…you are shortchanging someone.”

“I don’t do it, okay? Sorry if that makes me weak,” he said, pouting slightly.

Jordan shook his head. “No…I didn’t say it did, did I? But…I just assumed that you’d wanna share that gift you have.”

“Gift?”

“Those lips. That tongue.” Grinning, he added, “That *active* tongue of yours.”

He shifted a bit, trying to ignore the stiffness growing below. //Damn it, Jordan, you don’t fucking play fair.//

‘I wasn’t all that,’ he said distractedly, squirming under Jordan.

‘Yeah, right. You would think that this was your first time or something.”

“What if it was?”

Jordan paused. He looked at him for a long time, then asked, “Wait….hold on…you mean….I was the first one….the first ever?”

He shook his head. “No…no, not like that,” he said quickly.

He let out a sigh of relief. “I would have been shocked as hell,” replied Jordan. “So…how many lucky guys before me? Two, three?” He stopped. “More than three?”

//Well…no sense in lying.// “Ummm…counting you? Err…one.”

A pause. Then a loud laugh. “I can’t believe…I mean…..the *first*? Seriously?,” asked Jordan in surprise. “First one ever?”

He nodded slightly. “I mean, I kinda…kissed guys and stuff, for my job, nothing serious….. but none of them would have done what you did.”

“Which was….?”

“Make out in the back of a car and then…well…”

“Give you head?,” he smiled.

“Yeah…that,” he added sheepishly.

“They slept on that,” replied Jordan. “As soon as I saw you, I wanted to give you head.”

“Why?”

“Because you danced like a come on….and it had been a while for me.”

Hayden sat up a bit, Jordan with him, and leaned back against the car door, then pulled him close. “A while…a while since you’d been with someone?”

He nodded. “Yeah, sort of. I broke up with someone about a month or two ago. A year we were together. But anyways….that was the last time, a month before we broke up.” He paused. “Before you say it, you were not a rebound- far from it. But I did want to go home with you tonight. Or, at the very least…..make love to you, at some point.”

A sigh. “Jordan…I mean…I am sorry. You seem like a nice guy and all…. It sucks when a girlfriend dumps you.”

“Boyfriend.”

“Sorry?”

“Boyfriend. It was a boyfriend. At least, this time it was. Ian….he was in graduate school. I got back from a movie, we get back together and have a great time, and when he finished his term…he dropped me.”

So he’s an actor, like me. I wonder if I ever saw him in anything…. He petted his head. “Sorry. I mean, I bet you were pissed.”

He shrugged. “Men, ya know?,” then laughed. “Bastards, the lot of ‘em.”

Hayden grinned. “Yeah, well, we can be, can’t we?”

He looked up at him from the crook of his neck and said, “Well…maybe you’re okay…”

“I am just as bad.”

“Nah, I don’t think you are. I bet you make a good boyfriend.”

Shrugging, he said, “When I get the chance.”

Jordan smiled. “Like I said.” He stretched a bit then said, “Umm….I dunno about you…but I am sticky as hell.”

“I was sticking to the seat, since you asked,” he said lightly.

Another laugh. “Well, maybe we should go back…or…”

“Or?”

Moving in closer again, he said, “Yeah…or. Or we could go somewhere….”

“Like where?”

“Like maybe someplace where we can lie down properly….maybe kiss some more…”

Hayden grinned. “Kissing would be nice….real nice…..”

“I could get you off again…” He paused, then glanced down and back up, chuckling. “And from the feel of things, you wouldn’t mind that at all.”

His voice lowering, Hayden replied, “Not a bit, Jordan.”

He leaned in closer, and kissed him, then pulled back and said, “So…you wanna go someplace else….maybe make out some more…”

“Love to.” Hell fucking yes, you damn pretty boy tease.

“And maybe…” Another kiss. “Something….” Kiss. “Else…”

“Like?,” he managed to murmur.

“More,” he breathed against his mouth. “Just more.” A flicker of tongue over lips. “A lot fucking more than a blowjob in the back of a rental, that’s for fucking sure.”

//Christ, what a mouth on this one…..I think I like it.// “I can dig that,” whispered Hayden.

“You know what I mean, don’t you?,” asked Jordan. His eyes were passionate but serious. “We better get this straight right now. I mean…I want to screw you, Hayden. I want to fucking bang your brains out. I want to watch you lose it when I do.” Stopping, he added, “I wanna watch you come like you hadn’t come even a while ago.”

Hayden caught a breath. He knew that’s what he meant, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it vocalized. Now that it was, he couldn’t deny what the next step would be, even if he wanted to. It all seemed like it was going so fast now….the dancing, the club, the flirting…then the kissing, the making out…the amazing head….and now, the spectre of the almighty screwing. It was what happened, he knew, man or woman. You reached a point, and you *knew* that someplace at some time sex was coming, sooner or later.

His body, however, seemed to want it much sooner than somewhat later.

Jordan looked at him. “I mean…it’s on you. We don’t, if you don’t want. I would be happy as hell to just give you head all night, truthfully. I know…I mean, I know how I felt before my first time. I was nervous as fuck. But once I got into it….” He sighed. “Fucking amazing.” He laughed. “Listen to me. I must sound like a perv. Anyways….it’s your call. We can do whatever you want to do.”

Hayden moved a hand to his cheek, then brushed a thumb over his mouth, smiling. That mouth…what it had done to him…how it felt…he recalled how he wondered how it would feel on his….he couldn’t deny the fact that he made him hard. The mouth…the eyes…the face and his voice….the look of a faun and the mind of a demon. It was pretty damn lethal to anyone with just a pulse, much less him, who’d not even been with someone since before he came to New York. He was helpless under this assault.

So what if it was a man. So what if he made him feel like a girl hadn’t come close to making him feel in forever. So what if he was sitting in the back of a car, half naked, with a cherub perched in his lap and promising sin all night long. He wasn’t a fool. He knew his limitations- he just hadn’t reached them yet. He would know when he did…but not yet. And not yet with Jordan. At least not tonight.

Finally, Hayden said, “I am game if you are.”

Jordan grinned, then kissed him as hard as he could without pause. He finally broke away and said, “You know how to make a man get anxious. I was worried for a while there.”

“You knew you were in the whole time,” Hayden laughed. “You knew you had me.”

“Well, wasn’t sure….” Laughter. “But I have you now, Hayden. Ain’t no going back.”

“Don’t want to.”

He slipped from him silently and re-arranged his clothes. He slowly began to pull up his leathers as he crawled over the front seat and into the driver’s side, starting up the car. He finally got them up over his thighs and hips, and zipped up, smoothing down his shirt, then crawled up front with him. He smiled at Hayden as he righted himself in the front seat, then pulled out of the spot and drove down the street. They passed the club- still teeming, still spilling music into the night air, still alive- headed down the street into traffic.

//It hadn’t done too bad by me tonight at all.//


Traffic proved to be as heavy as expected on a Friday night, but with all of that, it still was a short ride from the club to where he was staying. He pulled up to the curb and put the car in park, then shut off the engine, clicking the cd out of the player and reaching under the seat, grabbing a booklet thick with other cd’s. He slid it in quickly, then took the key out of the ignition, and looked at Hayden, smiling.

“Still with me?,” he asked, eyes glittering.

Hayden returned the smile. “I am here, aren’t I?”

“Last chance to bail.”

“Just shut up so we can go in,” he said with amused growl.

“Feisty,” he teased. He opened the car and slipped out. Hayden got out on his side, closing the door as Jordan closed his. Jordan hit the alarm and Hayden looked at the building they pulled up just short of. It looked like a brownstone, much like any other on the block, but noticed that it had a small sign stating that it was a bed and breakfast. Jordan walked around to him, and noticed his look. He looked down at him slightly and said, “Ummm…bit off the beaten path, ya think?”

“It’s nice enough, and besides, it’s cool to have a nice place to come back to. And I don’t have to go through the front,” he replied, heading for a small alleyway lit brightly. “Got my own entrance.”

Hayden followed him, saying, “Must cost a mint.”

“Nah. Besides, it’s close to everything, quiet and private.” He slid a key into a lock and swung it open, holding it open until Hayden came in, then closed it and latched it closed after locking it. It opened into an open space, dimly lit and smelling quite fertile and not like the city at all, the sounds fading into the background. It was like some private garden in the middle of the metropolis. He had to admit, it was quite relaxing, and made how they looked even more outrageous. He felt Jordan slide up behind him, sliding his arms around his waist and his face against his back.

“You like it?,” he whispered.

He nodded. “Damn nice, dude.”

He felt him smile through the thin fabric and sigh. “Come on…I mean…I love the view, but…”

He broke the embrace lightly and turned to him, grinning. “Kiss first,” he whispered.

He embraced his waist again and Hayden lowered his mouth to his, mouth slowly moving over his before gently forcing it open with the tip of his tongue. He felt Jordan shudder slightly, and pull closer, sucking on his tongue before releasing it to suck on his lower lip. He kissed him deeper, trying not to moan from the feeling. //Jesus….has it been that long for me?//

He wondered if this is what it meant to kiss someone in slow motion. When they finally parted, he could feel him all through his body. He licked his lips lightly, tasting him there, and feeling how sore they were becoming already. He imagined that they looked even fuller than normal. He could barely see Jordan’s face but could damn sure feel him.

“You know….the way you kiss…that could almost be considered foreplay….or sex,” murmured Jordan. “I’d like to think it was a bit of both.”

“Tell ya what. We get inside, and maybe you’ll see,” said Hayden, smiling.

He felt the smile. “I bet,” he replied, then moved from him and began moving towards a doorway. He moved with him, standing behind him as he opened the door and let himself in. He followed behind and closed the door as Jordan turned on a lamp. Locking the door and putting on the chain, he turned back to the main room. The furnishings were a mix of contemporary and classic, and it was laid out much like an regular apartment was, with a small kitchen and living room area with a comfortable sofa, television, stereo system and coffee table. Jordan had gone into the bedroom, leaving the door open, then came right out and said, “Make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna run under the shower real quick….” He trailed off. “Unless you wanna join me.”

Hayden sat in a loveseat, crossing his legs at the ankles after undoing and toeing off his socks and Docs, his hands on the armrests, and looking at him. He had stripped off his shirt, still clad in his leathers, and now had bare feet, his hair still mussed from the car, and eyes still somewhat smutty from the makeup. He wasn’t especially built or anything, he noted, and somewhat pale, but his stance and looks more than made up for that. He thought he saw the barest hint of an ink pattern on his lower stomach….right near his groin. //Damn….is that what I think it is?// His voice finally recovered from his body wanting to jump him and pin him to the floor. ‘Ummm…Jordan? Is that….what I think…it is?”

He paused, then grinned. He looked down and then said, “Oh that. Yeah. It’s a tat.” Teasingly, he tugged a bit of his leathers down, then looked back up and said, “Wanna see?”

Hayden’s fingers dug into the chair, the urge surging in him now. //This can’t be me just being so horny I can’t think,// he thought. //I mean….not after the car….that couldn’t be it, could it….// “Umm….maybe, yeah….”

He sauntered over, then silently crawled onto his lap, his arms around his neck. “Was that a yes or no?” He squirmed a bit, then grinned. “I think that’s a yes….at least from a part of you…”

He pressed himself closer, his forehead against his. “Relax, Hayden…you act like you want to bolt.” He kissed his nose, then smiled. “I know I kinda come on like some hustler, but it’s not often enough that I get to meet a guy like you.”

His hands finally freed from the armrests, he slid them around his waist lightly. He noticed how just….small, he seemed to be. Small, delicate…almost fragile. But it was so at odds with how he was acting and how he’d been acting all night. One hand opened and pressed him closer, the left sliding down to grasp his ass. “Like me how?,” he asked.

Jordan bit his lip slightly, but replied, “One that doesn’t mind coming home with me.”

“Well…. If you want the truth…. I don’t think anyone else could have even gotten me in that backseat….much less here,” He replied, laughing lightly.

“Even if you were only into girls?”

“But I’m not,” Hayden said. “You gotta know that by now.”

He nodded. “Yeah…yeah, I do. But…well….I was kinda crossing my fingers back at the club, when I watched you dance. You looked like…” He paused. “You looked like someone that didn’t mind playing around.”

“You mean….someone that swings,” he asked, arching a brow.

“Yeah. I admit….I was really wondering what you’d look like fucking a guy….or at the very least…..you know…”

“Giving him head,” Hayden finished, grinning.

He pulled back a bit, a small but wicked smile on his lips. “Exactly,” he whispered. “Those lips….and that tongue….wrapped around a cock.”

He felt his cock twitch a bit. If the word itself had not been obscene, the way he said it would have rendered it so. His left hand kneaded his flesh and he stifled a sigh. This was becoming way too fucking painful.