Mourning my Love

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Mourning my Love – Chapter 3

You don’t remember me,
But I remember you,
I lie awake and try so hard
Not to think of you.
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do.

Taking over Me – Evanescence


“I have no memory of your face.” Legolas’ words caused Elrohir’s blood to run cold.
“W – what?” He stuttered. “Legolas, what are you saying? How can you not remember me?” The look of shock and pain caused Legolas to feel guilty despite not knowing who this elf was. He frowned and tried to remember. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t remember this elf, or this room or even – oh Valar! He couldn’t even remember who *he* was! He fear must have showed on his face, for Elrohir took his hand, his confusion changing to concern.
“What is wrong?” He asked quickly. Legolas looked up at him with wide eyes.
“I can’t remember!” He cried. “I can’t remember anything! Who am I?” Elrohir gasped but tried to remain calm for Legolas’ sake.
“You must try to relax. I will get my Adar, he is a healer.”

Fear in his heart he rushed off and almost collided with King Thranduil who was just returning. The King caught the distraught twin by the arms.
“Elrohir! What is wrong? Is Legolas sick again?” He could not keep the fear from his voice. Elrohir looked at him with wide eyes.
“He doesn’t remember.” He said brokenly. “He doesn’t remember anything, not you or me – not even his own name.” The elvenking gasped in horror and Elrohir pulled away. “Please my Lord, I must find my father.” He could not meet Thranduil’s eyes.
“Very well.” Thranduil whispered and hurried back to his son’s side.

He reached the bed where Legolas sat, a look of despair on his pale face.
“Legolas?” He asked quietly. His son turned to him.
“Is that my name?” He whispered. Thranduil nodded, trying to fight back tears.
“Ai, it is. My name is Thranduil – I’m your father.”
Legolas entwined his hands in the sheets and did not meet Thranduil’s eyes as he spoke.
“You are a stranger to me.”
Shaking with emotion, Thranduil slowly reached out and put his hand on his son’s arm.
“I know.” He said softly. “It pains me more than I can say that you do not remember me. But I am still your father; I hope you will soon come to see that. I swear, Legolas, I will help you through this.”
Legolas gave him a small smile.
“Thank you – Ada.”

*********************

Elrohir burst into his father’s room, almost as distraught as when he’d first learned that Legolas was ill.
“Elrohir!” Elrond stood as his son rushed in. “What is wrong? Is Legolas ill again?” It was a possibility, however unpleasant, that Legolas’ recovery was only temporary.
Barely able to hold back his tears, Elrohir told his father about Legolas’ memory loss. When he was done, Elrond drew him into a tight embrace. “Come my son.” He said. “Let us go and see how he fares. Do not loose heart, it may only be temporary.”
“What if it’s not?” His son replied. “What if everything we’ve shared is forever lost?”
Elrond smiled and rested his hands on Elrohir’s shoulders.
“Then you will simply have to make him fall in love with you again.”

*******************

Elrond sighed. He could find no clear reason for Legolas’ memory loss. He seemed, despite recent events, in remarkably good health. He was very weak, but that was to be expected. Now he stood in Legolas’ rooms, with Legolas, Thranduil, Elrohir and Elladan before him. He looked regretfully at the young prince.
“I don’t know.” He said simply. This is the first case of its kind. Your memories may come back in time, or they may not. All I can suggest at this point is that you rest and familiarize yourself with your surroundings. It maybe that something you see or do will trigger your memory.”
Legolas nodded mutely.
“Get some rest.” Elrond said softly. “I will see you again later.” With that he ushered everyone out of the room, including his reluctant youngest son, leaving Legolas to his thoughts.

“I wanted to stay!” Once out of Legolas’ hearing range, Elrohir protested being made to leave his lover’s side.
“We mustn’t push him.” Elrond replied. “I know you want to be with him, but you cannot force him to love you. Right now he barely even knows your name.”
Elrohir’s shoulders slumped in defeat and he was instantly enveloped in his brother’s arms. Thranduil also stepped up and squeezed Elrohir’s shoulder.
“If anyone can bring back his memories, it is you.” The king said. Elrohir looked up and Thranduil smiled.
“Thank you.” He said before letting Elladan lead him off to get some rest.

Elrohir tossed and turned in his bed. Try as he might, he couldn’t sleep. He tried not to think of the empty look on the prince’s face, but it was nigh impossible to get it out of his mind.
Eventually he got up and grabbed a pouch of herbs from his pack. He rarely used the herbs on himself, but tonight he welcomed any assistance sleeping. He soon had a hot tea made, one that would quickly send him to sleep. Drinking it down, he hoped that Legolas was having a better night than him. Ever since he had begun courting the prince, they had never slept in separate beds, be they in Greenwood or Imladris.

He soon began to feel drowsy and curled up under the covers where he at last drifted into reverie.

He dreamed.

He dreamed of a time five hundred years past, when his love for Legolas had been new and the prince did not even know of it yet.

*Flashback*

Elrohir looked at the bird in shock. He had seen the duck flying and had simply commented that it would make a nice lunch. He had hardly fied sed speaking when an arrow had shot into the sky and killed the duck mid-flight. It had landed just a little way away from them. He turned his shocked gaze to Legolas, noticing that Elladan was doing the same.
“Is something wrong?” Legolas asked nervously, wondering why his new friends were looking at him like that. “You said you wanted duck for lunch. Now all we have to do is cook it.”
Elrohir couldn’t keep the admiration out of his voice.
“You shot it right out of the sky!” He said. “I have never seen the like!”
“Nor I.” Agreed Elladan. “I admit, we have always considered ourselves good archers, but neither of us could have done that!”
Legolas blushed, which set Elrohir’s heart racing.
“It was nothing.” He said. “Come, let us eat.” He walked forward and picked up the duck, not realising that Elrohir never stopped looking at him.

Back in their rooms that evening, Elladan had confronted him.
“You like him.”
Elrohir looked up, shocked.
“What do you mean?”
Elladan laughed, his twin looked most uncomfortable.
“Come, brother, you cannot hide from me! It is obvious – you have a crush on Legolas!” The younger of the two flushed bright red when he realised that Elladan knew. He’d thought he’d been discreet. He should have known he could never keep anything from his twin.
“Ai, I like him.” He admitted. “More than like – I think I am in love with him!”
Elladan grinned. He had suspected as much. He’d seen his brother’s face when he’d first laid eyes on the prince.
“So what are you going to do?” He asked. Elrohir looked blankly at him.
“Do?”
“To win his heart!” Elrohir stared at Elladan.
“I – I do not know. Elladan, he is royalty!” Elladan glared at his twin.
“As are we! Just because Ada chooses not to call himself a king it does not make him any less so! You are Legolas’ equal in every way! Besides, since when has love been mindful of status?”
Elrohir had to smile at his twin’s defence. He was right of course. Legolas was his equal and even if he weren’t it wouldn’t matter. The heart cared little for politics.

Still, he had no idea what to do. He had never been in love before and as far as he knew, neither had Elladan. They were still too young to have gained that experience.
“You are right.” He said. “But neither of us have ever been in this situation. What should I do?”
Elladan thought about it for a moment.
“Glorfindel once said that when he was courting Erestor he’d take him somewhere very quiet where they could just talk. He said it was important to really know the person.” Elladan grinned. “He also said that if the place happened to be romantic also, it never hurt.”
Elrohir grinned.
“The West Gardens! I heard Thranduil telling Ada how beautiful they are! Yes we can sit, talk – I’ll bring wine too!” eyeseyes sparkled as his plan fell into place.

Then he realised something.
“Elladan – why was Glorfindel telling you all that?”
Elladan simply blushed.

*********************

All had gone to plan and two nights later Elrohir found himself in the West Gardens with Legolas. The sun had set and the night was clear and full of stars. Elrohir couldn’t have wished for a more perfect setting.
They had been there for some time already, talking as they walked. Legolas found Elrohindernderful company and the twin was finding that this was not as hard as he’d feared.

Suddenly Legolas stopped by a large pond.
“This is my favourite part of the garden.” He smiled and Elrohir’s heart skipped a beat. “Shall we sit for a while?”
Elrohir nodded, speech had failed him. He moved closer to the prince and pulled the small bag off of his back. He opened it and pulled out a bottle of rich red wine, two glasses and a selection of sweetbreads. Legolas’ eyes lit up.
“Why, I was just thinking I would like a glass of wine!” He said.
Elrohir smiled weakly.
“I thought it would be nice to have a drink together.” He replied. He quickly poured two glasses and set the sweetbreads between them.

They sat in silence for a time. Elrohir found his courage was fading. He wanted this so badly, but was he strong enough?
He sighed and reached for another sweetbread. Legolas also reached out and their hands touched.
Before he could seconess ess himself, Elrohir caught Legolas’ hand in his own. The price looked up in surprise and saw the emotion in Elrohir’s eyes.
“Elrohir.” He breathed.
The twin took a deep breath.
“Legolas, I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together these last few days. You’re a wonderful friend. Still, I was hoping that we might have something – more.” He couldn’t meet his friend’s eyes, scared of rejection.

Soft fingers caressed his cheek and his head was gently tilted up. He found himself looking into a pair of shining blue eyes.
“I’d like that.” Legolas said simply.

Elrohir could hardly believe it. Legolas returned his feelings! He pulled the prince closer and raised his hand to cup the pale cheek.
Slowly, almost reverently, he slid his hand round to the back of the wood elf’s head. He gently pulled the prince forward and claimed his lips with his own.

Elladan would later laugh when he told him, but to Elrohir the kiss was perfection itself. One perfect moment in time that he would remember forever. When at last it ended his lips still tingled from the sensation.
Legolas smiled lovingly at him.
“I love you.” Elrohir whispered. “This is more than just a crush – I love you.”
“I love you too.” Legolas told him. “I think I have from the moment I saw you.”
Elrohir was delighted. He had no doubt that Legolas felt as strongly as he did. Happily, he pulled Legolas down to rest in his arms.
“Don’t ever leave me?”
Legolas shook his head.
“Never.”

*End Flashback*

Elrohir sat up sharply in his bed. A glance outside showed him it was morning. His mind was reeling from the dream-memory. It seemed so long ago, yet he could remember it clearly. That first night, Legolas had promised never to leave him.

A slow smile spread over Elrohir’s face. Well then, he was just going to have to remind him of that.
“Ada was right.” He thought. “I won his heart once. I can do it again. I love you, Legolas. I’m not letting you go.”

END CHAPTER 3