When You Come Back Down

Author: Fainpathe Elanesse
Title: When You Come Back Down
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/Alex Band
Rating: R for m/m smoochies and language, will be NC17 goodness later on!
WARNING: language, m/m relationships, ridiculous plotline. Ye be warned!
Disclaimer: I'm an impoverished student who's making no money from this, honest! This obviously never happened, alas, alack. If it did, and they were mine, they'd spend a lot more time in Scotland. In my bed. Naked. Ahem. ON WITH THE FIC!!
Feedback: Is my raison d’etre, my mojo, the fires that stoke the pit of hell from whence come my ideas. How can I know I’m crap if you guys don’t tell me?

A/N: this plot bunny bit me in the ass one night after re-reading Wherever You Will Go. It’s a ridiculous idea, but work with me, people! For the purposes of this fic, Alex is from Manchester, and is not famous, although he is in a band. :D Ok, so he’s kinda an OMC, but physically, he’s exactly right for the character. Same singing voice, same looks, but with a Mancunian accent!
Oh, and, once again – FIGWIT LIVES!!!!
The title is a Nickel Creek song – an awesome bluegrass/country band. Go listen! Now, now I tell you!
All quotes, when I realise they’re not my own wit and genius :D shall be footnoted, and credit given where due. If I miss one, tell me!


“Blah” denotes speech, ‘blah’ denotes thought, ~~~~~~ denotes passage of time and *blah* is emphasis. There ya go!


Chapter Three: In Which There Is A Party And Smoochies
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As they walked up the drive to Orli’s, Alex and Dom could hear the laughter and music from the party drifting through the night air towards them. Rubbing their arms to keep warm in the now positively chilly cold air, they rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. While they waited, Dom continued telling Alex about the rest of the cast – Beanie’s love of the Blades, Viggo’s almost-obsession with his sword (causing him to almost be arrested), and the hobbit’s incessant pranks, along with the love lives of seemingly the entire cast and crew.

“So, um, what about Orli?” Alex tried to ask nonchalantly. Dom turned to him and smirked.

“What d’you mean, ‘What about Orli’?” his face making it perfectly clear he knew why Alex was asking the question. “If you’re asking is he gay? I don’t know. He may have some shirts that watched Judy Garland in their youth, and the rest of his wardrobe may be camper than a row of pink tents, but the man? Not sure. I mean, he had a girlfriend, but then – so did you! Well, before you shacked up with that Patrick guy!” He punched Alex on the arm, in a joking manner, but he quickly became serious when Alex suddenly looked as if he was about to burst into tears.

“I didn’t hit you that hard, mate! What’s up?” He looked concernedly at his friend, placing a hand upon his shoulder.

“Got a call from Patrick this morning. He wants the keys to the flat back. Says he doesn’t trust that I won’t just walk in and steal something now he’s dumped me. I’d almost forgotten about him, I was doing well. Why does he always have to wreck everything?” Alex’s voice almost broke on the last word, and he looked down at the floor dejectedly.

“He’s not worth it mate, alright?” Just then, someone opened the door, and Dom grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the house. “C’mon mate, let’s get pished.”

“’Pished’?” Alex raised an eyebrow at the other man.

“Wha’?”

“You said ‘Pished’. ‘Let’s get pished’, you said. Two cans and you’re steaming.”(1) He chuckled, pushing all thoughts of his ex to the back of his head and following Dom into the kitchen.

“I’m not drunk, alright? Mate, what kind of lightweight do you think I am? I’m not Elijah, for fuck’s sake!”

“Oi! I heard that!” Lij rugby-tackled Dom to the floor, bringing relatively innocent bystanders Billy and Alex into the tangle of arms and legs.

“Hobbit pile!” A muffled voice from the bottom shouted.

“Oi! That’s speciesist, that is! I’m an elf, I’ll have you know!” Alex put on his haughtiest voice, and tried to look elegant and superior, a tough feat when you have someone’s elbow in your ear, and an arse in your face. Dom’s arse to be precise.

“And don’t you go gettideasdeas while you’re that close to me arse, mate, alright?” Dom mumbled, trying to disentangle himself. Alex blushed, and mumbled, “Just shut up, will you?” very conscious of the curious stares he was getting. Thankfully, the kitchen was fairly empty, and the other hobbits didn’t seem to care for long, quickly going back to the far more important task of squishing themselves into one being with many appendages.

After disentangling himself from the hobbit sandwich, Alex meandered through the house, making polite conversation with those he had met in his few days so far. He wasn’t really in the mood for chatting, but didn’t want to seem rude, and just isolate himself in a corner all night. He encountered Bret attempting to chat up one of the female elves, who, it seemed, was more aloof out of character than she was on set. He smirked, raised a hand in greeting, then moved on when Bret made frantic hand signals behind her back that ‘he was definitely getting somewhere, and could he please bugger off so that Bret could continue his mission to get in her pants.’ Alex smirked at the hopeless optimism of his friend, before wandering outside to the back porch to have a smoke.

He’d just lit up, inhaling his first lungful of cancerous-yet-oh-so-good Marlboro Lights, when the back door swung open and he was joined by the host of the party.

“Alright, mate?” Orli nodded to him, mumbling through the cigarettechedched in his lips, then proceeded to search through his pockets looking for a light. Eventually Alex took pity on him, and offered over his Zippo lighter.

“Here you go.” Orlando gratefully took the lighter, lighting the cigarette, then exhaling slowly, passing the lighter back to Alex. He looked ruefully down at his cigarette, then took another long drag, leaning against the railing surrounding the back porch.

“I should really give these up. The hobbits – well, except Elijah obviously – have been going at me about it for ages now. But y’know what it’s like – easier said than done.” He glanced over at Alex, who nodded his head in agreement, before hopping up onto the railing next to Orli. The two sat there in companionable silence for some time, until Orlando noticed that Alex had gone straight on to his second cigarette, and was looking down at the ground gloomily.

“You trying to avoid the party? Or can you just not get enough of my wonderful company?” Orli fluttered his eyelashes, and was relieved to see a smile on Alex’s face.

“No, wonderful as your company undoubtedly is,” he flashed a smile at Orli, “I’m just not really in the mood for partying right now.”

“Want to talk about it?” Orli moved closer to Alex, until his hip was almost touching Alex’s leg.

“It’s nothing important. Just, y’know, relationship stuff.” Alex didn’t look up, so the flicker of disappointment across Orli’s face went unnoticed.

“Oh, so you’re seeing someone then?” Orli asked, aiming for light-hearted and hitting closer to slightly squeaky and miffed.

“Was. I got a call this morning from my ex, Patrick.” This time, Alex didn’t miss the mini-expression of interest – and was that slight happiness? - that crossed Orli’s face. ‘Ok, so he doesn’t have a thing against gay people. This is progress…’ “So yeah, anyway, he wanted my keys to our flat back. Says he doesn’t trust that I won’t go round and steal something since we’re not a couple any more.” Alex mouth screwed up at this, and he ground his cigarette into a small pile of tobacco and shreds of paper on the railing.

“That’s it mate, take it out on the cigarette.” Orli grinned cheekily at Alex, before his face became more serious, and he continued. “I know it sucks, believe me. It gets better though. Find another body to warm your bed, and you’ll be over the prick in no time. Though why he let go of you in the first place is a mystery to me.” He looked shyly at Alex from under his lashes, before going back to his cigarette.

‘Ok, this is *definite* progress. Result! Houston, we have a go! Don’t wait up for me!’ Although inwardly cheering at the thought that Orlando was definitely interested, Alex decided to play it (slightly) cool, although he ended up slightly more gushy and ranty than he planned.

“Yeah, I know, that’s what Dom said. But what if I don’t want just another warm body for my bed? I mean, not that that would be a *bad* thing…” off Orlando’s glance in his direction, “…but I’m tired of that. I mean, I’m gay. It’s so much harder for us. Relationships for us are measured differently. We have to go through so much shit to be together, it’s like dog years (2). I just want to find someone I can spend time with, y’know? Be myself. All that clichéd romantic stuff.” He sighed, and turned back to look at Orlando, who moved in front of him and placed his hands on Alex’s knees.

“And what if you find that person? I mean, what if you meet someone who wants exactly the same thing? How do you know?” As he spoke, Orlando moved forward, until he and Alex were only centimetres apart.

“Oh, I think I’ll know” was his only reply, before Alex leaned forward and closed the remaining gap between them.

Alex’s lips lightly touched Orlando’s, and both men’s eyes closed as gave in to the sensation of each other’s lips. Orlando slid his hands up Alex’s legs, moving closer and deepening the kiss. Alex’s left hand found Orli’s hair, and he wound his fingers through the curls at the back of the other man’s head as his right hand helped brace himself on Orli’s chest. Orlando moaned at the deepening of the kiss, and coaxed Alex’s tongue into his mouth, as he ran his hands down Alex’s back, causing goosebumps to appear in their wake. ‘Cinnamon’ was the only abstract thought in Alex’s head, as he explored Orli’s mouth, enjoying the feeling of the hard body in his arms.

“Ahem.” Alex and Orli practically leapt apart, and Alex windmilled his arms a few times, overbalancing, before managing to right himself on the railing. Alex looked over at Orlando. In the dim twilight, it was hard to tell, but he was sure Orlando was blushing. He refused to meet either man’s eye, and was instead fiddling with his key chain. Alex felt strangely bereft without Orli’s arms around him, but embarrassment overrode, and he turned to look at the person that had interrupted them. Which was, inevitably, and with impeccable timing, one Dominic Monaghan, Esq.

“I was wondering how long it’d take you two to…y’know, get together.” The look on Dominic’s face was one more commonly seen on the proverbial feline who’s nabbed the proverbial dairy product, then found that the proverbial dairy product contained a rather large amount of alcohol. Alex raised aebroebrow at him, and at the thunderous look on Orli’s face, Dom hurriedly continued, “I mean, cuz Orli was asking me about you *all* yesterday, and you were asking about him before the party, Alex.”

“You were?” Both men said simultaneously, turning to look at each other, then back at Dom, who was cracking up, apparently finding the slight cluelessness of his friends highly amusing.

“Anyway, you two are good for each other. I think.” Dominic grew slightly puzzled. All this thought was apparently not good for a not-entirely-sober hobbit. “But yeah, you have my blessing. Which you need, cuz….cuz….” As Alex looked over at Orli, his eyebrows conveying the idea that he hadn’t got a clue what Dom was on about, Dom struggled to continue. “Cuz I’m your oldest friend, and your only friend from home here, which makes me, like…. your mum, only with less tits.” Dom looked very pleased at himself for working out that he did, indeed have fewer breasts than Alex’s mother. “And you,” he continued, pointing blearily to where Orli might have been, had there been two of him… “You’re like an honorary hobbit, which is a very high tribute for an elf, so you’re like…like a brother to me. Only that would make you cousins. And that’s just wrong, even if your cousin’s really hot and she started it, and we were only playing doctor, right, so where’s the harm in that, eh?”

“Ooooookay,” Alex hurriedly cut in, “I think that’s enough sharing now, don’t you? We get the idea anyway, don’t we, Orli?” Orli just nodded, trying desperately to keep a straight face. Alex helped Dom up from where he was leaning against the wall rather unsuccessfully, and started walking inside. Just as he reached the door, he turned back to Orli, who was standing looking away from the house hugging himself, his whole body radiating rejection. Alex frowned, then realised it was more like Orli was trying to protect himself, rather than shut Alex out.

“Are you coming then?” Alex reached out his hand, and, looking up in surprise and happiness, Orli took it, and they walked in together, Alex half-dragging, half-carrying Dom, who was now singing a song about a goblin (3).

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TBC…

A/N Yes, I know Orli had a Mohawk and then short, short hair for most of the shoot, but I can’t stand the Mohawk and I like having hair to grab onto, if you know what I mean! XD

(1) A variation on the ‘I’m not gonna mish’ conversation between Rimmer and Lister on Red Dwarf series 4, episode ‘White Hole’.

(2) Idea of gay relationship time span as like dog years stolen from a Stargate SG-1 Daniel/Jack fic, called ‘Special Rights’ by Xochiquetzl, which can be found at www.geekiness.com/fic/sgfic.hmtl

(3) The song Dom sings is from Blackadder II, ‘Beer’, and the lyrics (as far as I can remember, and only a fragment appears in the episode) are this:

See the little goblin, see his little feet,
And his little nosey-wose, isn’t the goblin sweet?
(YES!)