Broken

Tracy runs her fingertips lightly over his leg, and Elijah opens his eyes. She’s talking about Dido, checking her work, completely unaware that he has returned to her.

Elijah tries to listen again. Tracy’s voice is low anlvetlvety. It’s completely wrong for her stature. Often, Elijah was convinced that Cyndi Lauper had been cloned and that clone stood as Tracy, an awkwardly pretty, sensitive girl, destined to be misunderstood unless she finds her soul mate in strangeness. Elijah does not find Tracy to be scary strange. She is certainly Edward Scissorhands strange, looking for love in a world that does not know what to do with her. He has been slowly deciding that Tracy would be the one he would eventually ask out for coffee or dinner or maybe more. Weirdness attracts him. It feels familiar. Safe.

He hasn’t been with anyone since he’d come to New Zealand. Maybe she’s the one to…

“Who says banana splits don’t go with lamb?”

Elijah looks at Tracy, frowns. “What?”

Tracy smiles playfully. “Nothing. You’re done my love. From wig to toe.”

“Thanks.”

Tracy reaches into her box and pulls out a hand radio. “Camilla? Camilla, can I grab breakfast now?”

“You’ll starve one morning, waiting long as you do. Well, if you’re finished, go on then,” a woman’s voice squawked back.

Elijah watches Tracy giggle to herself as she packs her airbrush away.

“Do you wanna go out sometime?”

“Me?”

“No, you.”

Tracy’s shock morphs into an irrepressible grin.

“What?”

“I’ve never been asked out by someone beautiful before.”

“I’m not beautiful.”

“Oh God, you’re so beautiful.”

“Please don’t tell me you get caught up in all this beautiful eyes shit.”

Tracy remembers herself. “No. You still have bloody awful taste in music.”

“Thank you. So tonight, after we get my feet off?”

“OK. And Lijah, this is it. I don’t doll up, I don’t glow, I don’t glide across the room.”

“You don’t need to glide, float or skate. Just be you.”

Elijah moves to the door, Tracy blushes, whispering to herself, “Float.”

~~The floating became perilous.~~

Elijah stands at the trailer door, a captive of a sudden paralyzing fear.

~~ naked~~

“What…?”

Tracy looks up from packing her equipment. Elijah stands perfectly still, poised to leave the trailer, but he doesn’t reach for the door.

“Elijah?”


~~They’ve crowded around him. Who?~~


Tracy approaches him slowly, unsure of what’s happening. “Lij, are you alright?”

“I couldn’t remember,” Elijah whispers, trying to make sense of the images flashing before his eyes.

~~“Oh God, you’re so beautiful.”~~

~~“Goddammit you’re beautiful.”~~


“I guarantee with this stuff, you’ll have the best sex you’ve ever had in your small little Hobbit life.”

“That shit makes me nervous, Dom.”

“It can’t hurt you unless you take too much. And I won’t let you take too much.”

~~“Elijah? Elijah…”~~

Tracy stands next to him at the trailer door. “Elijah, listen to me. I’m gonna go get someone, OK?” Trying to remain calm, she takes his hands in hers. “Why don’t you sit down right here.”

“No.”

“Elijah, just sit down right here, and I’ll be back.”

“No.”

“Lij I swear, I’ll be right back.”

“NO! I just… I couldn’t remember. Please, don’t…”

~~ “I don’t glide.” ~~

“It’s there. I just can’t… I need to figure this out!”

“OK, OK, we’ll both stay here until you figure it out. I'll stay...”

Elijah sees Tracy for a moment in his hysteria. She’s frightened; it lives clearly on her face. He feels a strange comfort that she seems as terrified at he is. He pulled her into his arms, hoping to anchor himself till this confusion passed.

*******************

“Stupid American. You’ve supposed to take it after you’ve found someone to fuck.”

Elijah hears himself giggling as Dom pulls his shirt over his head. Dom yanks the garment fast and Elijah loses his balance and grabs Dom to keep from toppliver.ver.

“A girl. That’s right! I knew I was forgetting something,” Elijah chuckled happily.

His skin burned and the world is spun wildly. What did Dom call this stuff? Or was it the alcohol? Or was it the combination? Elijah was frightened and equally euphoric to be so completely out ontrontrol of himself and the world around him.

It’s OK because Dom has got him. He gave in to the swoon, comforted by the feel of Dom’s arms fully around him now. He’s safe, he won’t fall.

Then the kiss.

He didn’t know it was happening until he had to breathe through his nose. Dom’s hand was cupped against the back of his head, carefully threading fingers through his hair, gently pushing their lips together. Instinctively, Elijah parts his lips more and welcomes the sensation of lips against his, the firm, rhythmicly sucking on his tongue. Elijah's lips explored the mouth on his. He loved kissing, he missed it. It had been a while.

“Goddammit, you’re beautiful.”

The world was swimming, Elijah couldn’t tell where the voice came from.

Wet lips clamped down on his pulsating neck just below his left ear. The lips had found his spot. Elijah could hear his own wave of involuntary moans, but could not bring himself to quell them. An immediate ache rose in his groin.

“See? It makes it so intense. Don’t fight it Lijah, just give in.”

Yet he couldn’t give in; something was wrong.