Emerald

Title: Emerald 3/?
Author: Ambur
Beta: Fianna
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: LOTR belong to Tolkien, no money being made.
Summary: Emerald makes a new friend…she hopes.
A/N: See chapter one.
Dedication: See chapter one
Special thanks to Shakespeare for the use of his insult list!!!
Feedback would be appreciated!! amboo1979@yahoo.com


Emerald had refused to leave her room since her meeting with the Lady of Light. She had been furious at the Lady’s ability to break through her most guarded secrets. And how dare this Lady invade her thoughts without her permission. She had never felt so foolish and vulnerable in her life.

The fit she had thrown had not helped her case either. She had marched right down to the gardens to find Elladan. She had demanded her take her home and when he refused, she had thrown a tantrum to match any small child. She had not cared at the time that the March Warden and both his brothers had stood silently watching. But now, she felt like the biggest fool ever. How could she possible face these elves again?

The Lady’s words still echoed in her mind. Why do you think such terrible thoughts, little one? Why do you speak so poorly of yourself? How is it you find justification in torturing your body in this way? I know of this elixir you concoct! I know of the wretched things you do to yourself when you think no one watches! Do not be fooled youngling; your brothers are not so blind. For already they suspect what it is you so desperately try to hide.

Emerald had found herself so terrified the Lady would give away her secret. She knew Elrond would be so disappointed with her if he knew she used her gift to cause pain to herself. She did not think she could bear his disappointment. And now she was so horrified at her own behavior. Her own mother would have been so ashamed of the fit she had thrown.

There was a soft knock at her talan door then. She wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes and moved to open it, thinking it Elladan. Saspeasped in surprise when Galadriel stood before her. The Lady’s smile was warm and patient, as he voice was soft and melodic, “May I come in, child?”

Emerald, too ashamed to speak, could only nod and step back. The glorious elven Queen glided across the talan floor, her soft warm light following her, giving warmth to the room that had not been there before. The Queen sat at the foot of Emerald’s unmade bed.

Emerald grimaced. The malevolent voices went to work inside her mind, Now not only does she find you insolent, she finds you spoiled and lazy. What a wreck she must think you!

Galadriel regarded her evenly, “I think nothing of the sort, young Emerald. I grow weary of your constant negative opinions of how I perceive you. Do you dare claim to know my mind? Come here this instant, child, and sit with me for we have much to discuss. I will not have you hiding from me your entire stay, which child, will be long indeed.”

Emerald’s face burned as she struggled to remain composed. Blubbering like an idiot would not improve the Lady’s opinion of her and…

“Child, do you dare disobey me? Have I not made myself clear on how weary I grow of your negative opinions of my person?”

Emerald looked pained, “Oh nay Lady! Never would I think negatively of you! Never, I…”

“Of course you do! If you think I would feel such horrible things about you, does that not make me horrid as well?”

Galadriel did not make a habit of speaking so roughly, but this was the tough love Elrond had hoped to provide Emerald with. The Lady was determined to make this girl see her anger and self-pity would destroy her if she did not do something soon for herself.

Galadreil’s eyes narrowed as Emerald made no move to sit with her.

“I am not accustomed to having my wishes disregarded, child. If I think anything of you, I think you are stubborn. If you do not comply, I shall have Elladan or Elrohir take his bow to your backside! Do not be deceived in thinking yourself to old for such a punishment. Now come here and sit with me. I will not tell you again.”

The girl did as she was told and took her seat beside the Queen. The Lady frowned as she studied the girl. She gripped Emerald’s chin and forced her head up, “Do not hang your head so as if you were unworthy to be looked upon.”

Emerald saw the Lady’s eyes were gentle now. Galadriel released her chin, “Now Emerald, you will tell me why you think such wicked things about yourself. What is it about you that you believe is so detestable?”

Emerald’s head fell again, “My father finds me so.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Estel said you were detestable to him? I find that hard to envision.”

Emerald glared at the Lady, “He did not have too! His actions speak more than clearly! He has never wanted me! He did not want to take me when my mother was killed! He gave me willingly to Elrond!” Her voice fell, “I think he wishes I were never born. I know he never loved my mother. How could he ever love me?”

Galadriel put her arms around the girl’s shoulder, “How do you know what your father and mother shared?” Her fingers lifted the girl’s chin, “Why is it you believe everyone around you feels this way toward you? You think Estel does not love you so that means no one else can? I hear the voices in your head child. I know what you say to yourself. Do you not see? You say these things to yourself! Do you not see, You are your own enemy.”

Emerald stood then to move to the window. Galadriel followed her, grasping her shoulders from behind; “You tell yourself you are ugly, wretched, that you have no value in this world. Since you left the town of your childhood, when have you heard such words from those around you?”

“Never.”

“Then why do you still believe it? Why do you still speak these words to yourself?”

“I have never heard these words spoken, but I know what people think of me when they look at me.”

Galadriel chuckled, “Ah, so now you know the minds of all around you. I did not know your gift of vision surpassed my own! Perhaps I should take my leave West and leave the fate of my people to one so wise and all knowing as you child. Your sixteen years have obviously taught more than my thousands, hmmm?”

Emerald blushed again, seeing her foolishness. Galadriel was pained to be so harsh, but she must if she were to save this girl.

“You must realize Emerald, you poison your own mind. No one else but you, tithen ares.”

A few tears fell down the girl’s face, “I cannot stop the voices. They are too strong.” Her hand went to her mouth to stifle her sob, “I do not wish to live my life this way. I am so tired. My spirit is weary and my heart breaks. I have hurt others with my actions, I know. But I cannot stop. I am afraid to stop.”

**

Galadriel left the girl shortly after she had broken down. Celeborn waited for his wife to return. He took her in his arms then, “How now wife? What news do you have of your Emerald?”

“Her wounds are so deep. I fear she must be completely shattered before she can begin to heal.” The Lady shook her regal head, “She is stubborn and willful! She wears her pain as if it were a shield! It must be penetrated soon. But I do fear what will happen when she does let go.”

Celeborn kissed his wife’s head, “She will be alright. She has many around her who loves her and cares for her who will help her repair these pieces. You have spoken of her inner strength, her will to survive. I sense this in her also. It will serve her well. She will be freed from the bonds of her heart and be ready to face what comes.”

***


Emerald stood beside the fences over looking the archery fields that were below the city gates. She had hoped to see Orophin practicing on the field, but more so she hoped to find peace away from Elladan and Elrohir, who, just as the Lady had predicted, were asking her more and more questions of her elixir.

She turned her head when she heard a scuffle on the field below and felt the lump form in her throat when she saw him. He truly was a magnificent looking elf. She watched him in silent awe as he pranced around playfully with his brother Rumil, swinging his sword in mock attack. She giggled when Orophin tackled Rumil to the ground, rubbing his younger brother’s face in the dirt.

“I see my brothers’ comedy is not lost on you Emerald.”

Emerald jumped and turned to see Haldir beside her. She had been so enamored with his brother, she had not heard him approach. She quickly looked away, hoping ot hide her flush. His lips tightened to keep himself from smiling. She glanced up and blushed again when he regarded her. He gripped her chin and forced her head up, “Do not bow your head when you speak with me, child. You must learn to hold your head high when one engages you in conversation. It gives the look of self confidence and others will be more likely to listen to what you have to say.”

She gave him a quick nod and he released her. He now turned and watched his wardens. He noticed how she never turned her head from the sight of his brothers. He knew she fancied one of them, he just was not sure which one. On the rare occasion a female was not after his own attentions, they were usually after Rumil. Haldir frowned. It had been a long time since Orophin had someone to share his time with. He knew his brother was lonely, though he never admitted it.

Rumil slammed Orophin to the ground, holding his brother down to rub mud all over him. Both brothers finally sat up, roaring with laughter as they looked at one another covered in mud and dirt. Rumil stood and pulled Orophin to his feet. Seeing Haldir, both climbed the small glade to the fence to speak with him. Orophin smiled beguilingly at Emerald. She managed to keep her face neutral, but Haldir noticed the flush that crept up her neck. So the young maid fancied Orophin.

Haldir scowled at his two brothers, “Look at you both. Disgusting! And what impression do you think you make on young Emerald here, to see the high Wardens of Lothlorien in such a state?”

“I think young Emerald appreciates a good laugh and is not so dour as you brother. Isn’t that right Emmie?” Orophin asked as he favored her with a wink.

The girl’s flush rose higher at Orophin’s use of her nickname, yet she held her expression bland, and gave him a small smile and nod.

Rumil winked at Haldir and spoke, “Have you skill with a blade, my Lady?”

She adamantly shook her head no, blushing furiously. She cringed when she heard the voice of Elrohir behind her.

“What is this nonsense Emerald? Why do you jest so with Rumil?

“Indeed Elrohir? Young Emerald has skill with a blade?” Rumil asked.

Elrohir sighed, wrapping his arms around her, “Well, not much actually. Unless one could count chasing after Elladan with the wooden sword he carved for her when she was yet a child and screaming, “Death to tyrants”, as she chased him about.”

Try as they might, the three brothers could not help but smile at such an image. Emerald glared at Elrohir, pouting furiously. Elrohir ignored her, “You know, our Emerald is quite an exceptional healer. Many bruises and cuts did she thrust upon my brother’s person, but she did have the decency to heal the many unforeseen blunders she inflicted upon him.”

The three Lorien brothers chuckled. She glared from face to face and turned to stomp away before she was scooped up into Elrohir’s arms. He laughed and twirled her about, “Alas Rumil, my sister is a healer, not a warrior.”

She struggled, attempting to get free, “Oh come now Emmie. Do not pout so. I am merely teasing you.”

Orophin’s face grew serious a moment, “Perhaps I should take the youngling under my tutelage?”

The girl now regarded Orophin. A rather haunted look came over her face. Elrohir squeezed her to him and kissed her head before putting her down. He knew where her thoughts lay. Emerald had no desire to ever touch a real weapon, much less a sword or bow. It had been a sword, which was thrust through her mother’s body by the orc who had tortured her. Her mother’s ankles had been shot through with arrows to keep her from running.

Her eyes misted as she thought of the decapitated body of her mother, left in the cave to rot. A small tremor coursed through her body as her eyes narrowed. It was his fault. Because he left. Because he wasn’t there to protect her mother. And yet she could not hate him for it.

Elrohir touched her arm, “Emerald?”

She blinked her eyes, forcing them to clear and turned to look at him.

“I should go back and …”

“Do not go Emerald. T’will be much sport! Remember how you and Elladan use to run about?”

She sighed, “I am old old for such nonsense Elrohir.”

This statement won her several chuckles then. She realized how silly her statement had been and blushed, smiling sheepishly.

“Come now Emmie. Let Orophin show you the sword. Estel has long thought you should be taught some form of self defense.”

Her face hardened when she heard his name. She frowned, “I do not care to hear what that man desires of me.” Her tone was curt.

“That man, is your father Emerald, whether you wish him to be or not. And he knows your mother would want you …”

“How would he know what my mother wants? My mother is dead! Her head cut off and pitied upon a pike whilst her body was left to rot in a cave! Where was Estel then? How could he know anything of my mother when he only spent enough time with her to lie between her legs!”

Elrohir grabbed her arm roughly, “You should not speak so! You are too young to speak of such things!”

She wretched her arm free, “I am allowed my feelings! I can say what I want too! You cannot deny me my right to speak the truth!”

“You are blinded by your anger. You do not know the truth.”

Orophin moved forward and cleared his throat. Two pairs of eyes now glared at him. Orophin smiled warmly at the olive green eyes, “Come Emerald, I will only show you the basics. It will not be difficult. I think you will enjoy it.”

She allowed him to pull her down the glade, her eyes shooting daggers at Elrohir as she went. The twin sigdeepdeeply and shook his head. Haldir’s hand rested on his shoulder, “Such rage for one so young. What a horrible thing to happen to her mother. I am deeply sorry for the girl. She has had a life time of grief.”

Before Elrohir could respond, Elladan approached his brother with a frown upon his face, “Why is Emmie on the archery field? Tis no such place for her!”

Elrohir sighed again, “Do not fuss over her so! She in not made of glass. You know she is strong enough. Working our lands has given her strength and stamina. She runs as well as one of us. This will help build her confidence.”

“She will not want to wield a weapon.”

Sure enough, Emerald shook her head no as Orophin tried to get her to hold his sword. She backed away from him, her hands held up defensively. Elrohir suddenly turned to Elladan, “Brother, I would wager Emerald has her doll and her sword in her room.”

Elladan’s face brightened, “Aye, she probably does indeed. She goes no where without them.”

The twins turned to see confused looks on Haldir’s and Rumil’s face. Elladan grinned, “The wooden sword I carved for her. Twas always her favorite toy, that and her doll her mother made for her when she was but a babe. I am sure she will have them.”

Elladna turned and left quickly, returning just as quickly carrying both sword and doll. Emerald had just grasped the hilt of the weapon, when Elladan called to her and she came.

“I have brought you this to practice with. I do not think Orophin will relish loosing a finger.”

She smiled widely at him, until she saw he held Anna by her hair. She frowned and grabbed the doll from him. “Do not hold Anna by her hair Elladan!”

With much affection, she smoothed the doll’s hair and dress, speaking softly to it as she turned, jerking the sword from his hand and going back to the archery field. Haldir and Rumil both noticed the worn face of the doll, by the many thousands of kisses Emerald had favored it with.

Emerald spoke words of comfort to the doll, kissing it, and laying it gently on the ground beside a tree. Elladan and Elrohir both were flooded with the memory of the many nights they heard her in her room talking to the doll, talking to her mother, and crying softly.

**

Despite how quickly Orophin moved, Emerald was able to keep up with him. She blocked his strokes well enough. Of course he was not using his full strength, but he was not making it easy for her. All elves on the field were surprised by her stamina.

Orophin shifted suddenly and went on the offensive, pushing her back. She nearly stumbled and fell, but recovered. She glanced at Elladan and smiled before turning back to Orophin. Her eyes narrowed and in perfect elvish, she screamed at him, “Death to tyrants!”

Orophin blinked, loosing his concentration for a split second and she attacked full force. Once again she yelled at him in perfect elvish, “Now you die, thou lumpish, fool-born, boar-pig.” A roar of laughter could be heard across the field. Orophin was so stunned he did not see her final swing, catching his fingers with her wooden blade. He yelped, uttered a sharp curse, and dropped his sword, shaking his fingers.

“Oh!” She squeaked, dropping her own sword to the ground as her hands covered her mouth. Another burst of laughter covered the field. Elladan grimaced as he remembered his own mashed fingers. Rumil and Haldir laughed so hard, tears came to their eyes.

Orophin straightened to his full height and glared at her. His lips quirked and she squealed when he lunged for her, barely missing her. Laughter erupted once more as the pale elf chased the pale girl around the field.

He lunged for her several times, but she was small and fast enough to dodge him around tighter corners. Exasperated and undaunted, he gave one final leap and caught her around her waist as she ran for Elladan and pulled her to the ground.

He pinned her squirming form underneath him as he ticked her mercilessly. She squealed and giggled, trying to stop his hands. “Do you yield, fair maiden?”

She nodded her head, trying to breath. He took pity and stopped his torture. He smiled studying her face and he noticed the flush of her cheeks and how her hair caressed her face as she lay on the ground. He suddenly became very aware of her small, soft body underneath him. He shook his head. What was he thinking? This was a 16-year-old girl. She was a child! An innocent! This was folly.

His smile faltered and he stood immediately, pulling her to her feet. She noticed the change in him and did not understand. He turned from her then and went to retrieve his sword. She watched him go, hurt by his sudden change, fearing she must have done something wrong, like she always did.

Elrohir and Elladan were now beside her, “Well met sister!”

Rumil took her hand, laughing, “Aye, well met Emerald. And what was that you called my brother? I shall have to remember that in the heat of battle.”

Emerald regarded him, still stung by Orophin’s change and said softly, “A lumpish, fool-born, boar-pig.”

“Where on earth did you hear such a thing?” Rumil asked laughing.

“The butcher use to call me that when I would walk passed his shop.”

Rumil’s smile fell into a frown at the thought of a child being treated so cruelly. Emerald did not notice the change in Rumil’s expression as she watched Orophin leave the field without another backward glance. Haldir had also noticed the change in his brother. He would discover the reason behind it later.

Elladan quickly changed the subject, “Tis nothing to what she once called me, a yeasty common, kissing death token. And my favorite of all, a frothy, hell-hated, flap dragon!”

Emerald turned to look at Rumil and smiled faintly, “That one, I read in a book.”

Rumil and Haldir chuckled softly. Emerald sighed once again, looking slightly dejected.

“I am tired now. I think I shall have a nap.”

She bid her farewells and walked slowly back towards her talan, her mind racing as she wondered what she could have done to make Orophin leave like he did. She had so desperately wanted to be his friend. If the truth were known, her crush on him had grown to massive proportions. Despite how foolish she knew it was to feel that way about him, he was after all, an elf. A perfect, beautiful, majestic, magical creature that she had no chance in Mordor of ever being with. But she had allowed herself the fantasy of his friendship and now it seemed that was not to be.

She sighed deeply, her shoulders slumping, as she wiped the single tear that slid down her cheek.