Underneath it all

CHAPTER 3 - THRANDUIL

Tonight would be the night. I had felt as tense as a newly made bowstring all day. I could not eat, sleep, or relax. There was no way of escaping this day. I looked up at the sun. It was not even midday and I was already a nervous wreck. I leaned back and let the suns rays warm my skin, while letting my mind wander.

I had tried to dance around my father for an entire moon. I had been the good son. I had done what he had expected of me. So instead of being suspicious, he had been proud. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he talked about this wonderful change in his only son. He even stated that he finally felt that there would become a regent out of me someday - he had faith in me.

These words almost broke my heart. I had no wish to disappoint him, but neither did I have a choice.

I sighed as I closed my eyes. I had been thinking, trying to figure out what to tell my father when the dreaded hour would arrive. How does one explain something like this? I could almost hear Thranduil laugh in disbelief before I would feel the sting of his hand across my face. His only son, the heir to the great kingdom of Mirkwood, was expecting. And there was no even a sire for the bastard child.

Oh yes, the sires. I had been giving that much thought. I decided I would not tell my father of a single one. I would simply tell him I did not know. What was the most disgraceful I did not know, but I was sure my father's heart could not bear to know that no matter who it was, it would be either servants or the eldest prince of Imladris. To share bloodline with Elrond was not one of my father's greatest wishes.

I opened my eyes just in time to see Edwen walk my way. It could not be denied that he was a beautiful young elf, and yet I had been avoiding him for two moons now. The words burning on my lips, I wished to tell him, to let him know what I carried inside of me could be his. But I did not. He could not know of my condition in the first place, let alone grasp the concept of me carrying a child. He would never know - this I had vowed to myself.

He came and sat down on the wooden bench next to me. He smiled, but looked so sad and puzzled "Legolas are you feeling alright?" he asked softly

I nodded weakly, "I am fine Edwen. Thank you for your concern."

/liar/

Edwen bit his lip. I could see he had wanted to say something more, but did not dare to. I was not sure I wanted to hear it. "I guess I just miss my mother. This time of year always makes me melancholy," I said, even managing a smile

Edwen nodded. "If you say so prince Legolas," he whispered, clearly not believing me. He made a move to get up. "Forgive me for interrupting you on this fine day, I should be going..." the young elf trailed off.

I looked up at him and smiled once more. The sun was leaving his face in darkness, but shining on his golden hair so that it seemed like an aura of gold. He would be a stunning lover for someone else one day I thought sadly. "You did not interrupt."

The young elf sighed and nodded. "If you need me, you know where I am."

"Yes, thank you Edwen," I answered. I closed my eyes once more to signal that this conversation was over. A signal which Edwen clearly got, for I heard him walk away from the bench again, crossing the gravel on the little path between the flowers and the grass.

Poor young elf, I thought to myself. I hoped that he was not the sire. He was much too young, and what had I been thinking in the first place to bed my father's personal servant? For a brief second I wondered if my father bedded him too, but pushed that thought from me quickly, not daring to think of it.

The sun was beginning to set, and I must have fallen asleep at some point. When I heard the bell indicating that the evening meal was to take place, I felt my heart race as it tried to free itserom rom my ribcage. It was time.

Where was that healer? Had he decided to flee Mirkwood?

When I finally heard his voice, I let out a sigh of relief

"My prince," he said coolly.

"Well met healer. I see you have not fled the borders of this realm yet," I answered equally cool.

"I thought of it," he stated. He sat down on the space of the bench where Edwen had been hours before.

I turned to look at him and noted that he looked as though he had not slept for days. "You look terrible."

"I know," he said and rose to his feet again. "Shall we?"

The causality in his voice amazed me, but I just stood up next to him and nodded. "Yes, you will wait outside the door on the talan, and come in when I call for you."

The healer nodded and began to walk towards the talan where the royal family always ate their meals, and I walked right behind him. We must have looked as though we were walking into the fires of mount doom itself, for the maids and servants looked at us with hardly concealed surprise.

Once on the talan, I opened the door, risking a quick glare to the healer who nodded and squatted down as he prepared to wait there for some time. I smiled weakly and entered the dining chamber. My father was seated and already eating. There were only four other elves at the table, all of who were my father's advisors. I wished they would leave, or did I wish for them to stay? I was not sure.

"Good evening ada," I said and sat down on my chair, watching my father closely as a servant poured some hot soup in my bowl.

"Legolas, where have you been?" he asked. He looked so worried that I almost fled the chamber.

"In the gardens," I replied simply as I began to stir the soup with a spoon.

Thranduil said nothing more, but also returned to his meal. I stayed quiet for the entire meal, and only answering politely when my father's advisors spoke to me.

Once the meal was over I pushed my goblet away from me and, for the first time since my arriva, addressed my father. "Ada, would you please stay behind? I need your counsel."

"Of course penneth," he said with a smile

Oh how I wished he wouldn't smile. "Thank you."

He dismissed his advisors. I stood and walked over to his chair, kneeling to rest my head on his knee. "Ada I must tell you s-something, something that will be hard for you to understand, but p-please try," I heard myself whisper.

I felt my father's hand comb through my hair as he mumbled, "is something amiss my child?"

"I…I… did not know this could happen ada," I whispered, ridiculously close to tears as I looked up and saw the worried expression on my father's face. "I had a hard time understanding it myself."

But my father did not say anything, did not lend a helping hand. He was waiting for me to say what it was that was troubling me "I am with child, " I said and looked away from his deep blue eyes.

I heard my father laugh softly. "But my dearest Legolas, you are a male, there is no need for you to think such folly."

"It is the truth ada," I said weakly, trying not to cling to him. "The healer is waiting outside the door, he will tell you my words are true."

My father frowned deeply "HEALER!" he roared. The door immediately opened gently and the little healer scuffled inside, and closed it just as gently again. He bowed to his Lord. "Your majesty," he said in a thin voice

"What is this nonsense you have told my son?" Thranduil demanded of the shaking healer.

"It is not nonsense my King, it is but the truth," the healer whispered and took a small step towards my father and me. I was painfully aware how pathetic I must look, clinging to my father's leg. I let go and slowly pushed myself up on my feet again, still not ready to meet my fathers gaze. I began to untie the leather vest, before I threw it to the floor. "That is the reason I have been wearing this," I whispered, and as if had the healer read my mind, he came to stand next to me.

Father looked upon me. The proud gaze his eyes had held for the last month faded and died as if some one blew out a candle. All his dreams and hopes for me were gone, only pain was left.

He reached out and touched my swollen abdomen with a ghostly touch "Ai," he whispered to himself, as he seemed hypnotized by the mere contradiction of this. When he finally tore his gaze from his hand on me he stood up, and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at both the healer and me. "You have kept it a secret from me, for this long?"

We nodded together. "But I was going to tell you my King. I would have told you earlier… but...but," the healer stammered.

"But I made him stay silent ada. Please do not punish him, for he has done nothing wrong," I whispered and risked a look at my father. He was absolutely enraged.

"I punish who I wish to punish young Legolas," my father hissed. "Pray tell young one, who sires this spawn of yours?"

I paled. This was the dreaded moment; this was what had kept me awake for several nights. What was I to answer?! "I…I…do not know," I finally stuttered with my head hung and my gaze to the floor.

"Not only do you take male lovers, like those degenerate elves from Imladris, but you take so many that you do not even know who sires this *thing* growing inside you! You are a disgrace Legolas," Thranduil said coolly.

"Father, please," I whimpered.

But I reached no more words before I felt the sting from the slap across my face. "You are no longer a prince. I have no heir," he declared with a voice thick with emotion. I am sure that if I had dared to look up, he would have been close to tears as well.

"No, Ada, Do not do this," I cried in desperation as I fully understood what my father had just said. He disowned me, renouncing our family ties.

/No, no, no. This cannot be/

I looked up at him, but was only rewarded with a sharp slap. I quickly looked at the floor once more, watching through a blur as my tears dripped on the floor between my feet.

"You!" he apparently addressed the healer, "You will leave for your talan, and I will deal with you later. You are dismissed." I heard footsteps hurry away, and the door open and close. I was once more alone with my father. The silence filled the room. It was so think one could almost touch it, taste it. I held my breath, hoping that I would not aggravate my father more.

"See to it that he gets a horse, and an escort to the border," he said to someone I could not see.

I raised my head once more, and grabbed my father's sleeve. "Father please, I will find a way to get rid of this problem. I promise. Do what you want, but please don't send me away," I begged and gripped his arm.

"I am King Thranduil of Mirkwood, not your father" he hissed and thrust me from him.

I stumbled and fell over, sitting on the floor I reached out yet again for his robe "Ada, you cannot send me away, I have nowhere to go," I cried pitifully.

But Thranduil just took a step away, and my fingers slipped from the silk robe. "Be gone by nightfall or I will slay you where you stand," he said, sweeping out of the dining room and leaving me alone on the floor with two guards looking down at me.

"Come Legolas, we must hurry," one of the guards said. He lent me a hand to get up.

I nodded and left the dining room the same way I came in, closely followed by the guards. Not having time to gather my belongings, we just went directly to the stables. A servant brought me a little black horse, and when I took a hold of the reins, I turned towards the guard that had given me his hand. I wished my tears would stop falling, but they just kept on. "Can I have a sword or a bow? Just something to defend me with?" I whispered.

The guard smiled and gave me his bow and arrows. "Here Legolas. I pray they will keep you safe until you find a haven somewhere," he said kindly.

I smiled weakly back at the guard. "Thank you. Would you do me another favour?" I asked with a thin voice.

The guard nodded and I continued, "Will you tell Edwen I left? And that I hope our paths will cross again. I will miss him dearly."

The guard nodded once more. "I will do so when we return," he vowed.

I smiled and mounted the horse. With a very heavy heart I rode out of the stables of my father's kingdom. I was never to return, never to be greeted by my father's warm voice, never to come home again.

As we rode out of the stables, I noticed the healer standing on his talan looking after me, and I hoped that one day I would have the opportunity to write him a letter to tell him what had happened. I hoped that my father would not be too merciless in his punishment.

I looked away and followed the guard in front of me. This was it; this was the departure of the former prince of Mirkwood. I could not have thought of a more terrible departure. The only thing missing was me being gagged and tied to the horse. I was homeless, sireless, and pregnant. A strange giggle rose from my throat. If someone had asked me three months ago if I thought this scenario could be reality, I would have laughed in their face and told them they had a too vivid imagination. But this was no nightmare. This was reality.

I was leaving.

Elvish;
(Edwen = another)


-tbc-

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- This is beated by Steph. hugs to you my internet saviour :)
I want feedback - as always *smiles*


Az.