secret Love

CHAPTER 29: SECRET CRUSH

As agreed Legolas met him later that evening.

“Aah Legolas, please take a seat. I found some information in my own private collection and the restriction area of the school’s library. I fortunately found one very useful book, which is almost entirely about the subject. It also mentions the ingredients of the potions and even the side-effects, which can occur after taking it. Only the exact way on how to make it isn’t mentioned. Therefore I will go to the Ministry’s of Magic library tomorrow to search for more detailed information on how to make the potion.”

“Do you need someone to accompany you?”

“Yes, because if I would cast a spell to make all the books on the subject come to me, I’d probably be covered with books, so this we’ll have to do manually.”

“Alright, at what time do you want me to be here?”

“What about 10 o’clock? That should give us sufficient time to start our search.”

“You’re under the impression that this will take us a while?”

“Of course, it is not as easy as it seems. There are thousands of books in the library. And even if we do find the recipe rather quickly we still have to make sure that it is the right one. Everyone could claim that they know how to make the potion you know. There also is the annoying fact that a lot of the books are written in Latin and for you to read them I’ll first have to translate them and that alone takes a lot of energy. Can’t we take Aragorn with us?”

“No remember he is not to know of this. I do not want to raise any falls hopes.” Legolas told him.

“Alright I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.”

“Definitely! Namaarie my friend.”

“Uhm yeah of the same.”

The next morning at exactly ten o’clock, Legolas knocked on Severus’ door.

“So,” the potions master started. “Are you ready for the most boring day of your life?”

“It might be boring to look it all up, but it is certainly worth the effort.”

“That’s true.” Severus said, offering him a small smile. “I believe you have used Floo Powder before?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Alright, we’ll be going directly to the Ministry, so Ministry of Magic will suffice.

One wild chimney ride later they both at the place they wanted to be. “Just put your hood up and follow me. We don’t need any unwanted stares.”

“What? Why?”

“Remember not all of the Death Eaters are locked away yet. Although they will keep quiet for a couple of years, there are still lots of other people who support their ideas or want revenge. And although homosexuality is all but accepted in the wizardry world there of course always remain some people who think it’s some kind of disease, especially here at the Ministry. Also looking stuff about ..uhm you know, is like putting a sign on your forehead, which says: GAY!”

Legolas had to laugh loudly at this. “Alright, I will do as you please.”

They approached the front desk, telling their names and the reason why they were here. When Severus told the woman they had to do some research for a very difficult potion, the woman looked at them closely. “And what potion would that be, sir?” she asked, eying him carefully.

He leaned forward a bit. “The Wolf’s bane potion.”

Her eyes widened: “Is he…?” she asked gesturing to Legolas,

“No, no thank goodness no, but his sister is.”

The woman gave the Elf a warm smile. “Fortunately it’s only once a month, right sir?”

Legolas nodded, wisely keeping his mouth shut.

“Here are your passes I’ll just put research on them.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

Of course Legolas assumed that the library of the Ministry of Magic must be huge, but huge even seemed an understatement in this case. There were books every, literally everywhere! Some were even magically glued on the ceiling, Legolas wondered if all books would come crashing down when an earthquake would took place. He quickly banned the idea out of his thoughts when he realised that he was walking nervously while glancing at the ceiling every other second. What was there to worry about? No one else seemed to worry about the books that were hanging like small bats above their heads.

“How are we ever going to find anything in here?” Legolas asked astonished.

The potions master rolled his white eyeballs at him. “Do you seriously believe that there isn’t some kind of order into this chaos? There is even a book in which you can find every book that this library has to offer. One only has to write the subject where one wants information about down and the book will sort out every book in alphabetical order.”

Legolas sighed in relief: “Thank Elbereth,” he muttered.

“This does not mean that there are still hundreds of books, which contain some kind of information about the subject we are looking for.”

“I realise that, but still it is better than having to look through all these books.”

“Oh I should warn you: some might have protection spells around them, while others can be invisible. So you better watch your step and your hands as well. Wouldn’t want get injured, now would we.” Snape looked around carefully, before quickly writing: male pregnancy potion.

After a couple of moments a list of 101 books appeared plus the place where they could be found. For example: Ten ways to get a baby, written by Josephine Dilldorf can be found at the back of the library in the night sky blue closet, number 1158, third shelve from the ceiling, no. 11878.

Severus quickly ripped out the paper which showed the results and started walking towards the other side of the colossal room.

“I think most of the books we need are in this section, but there are also a few in the restricted area.” Legolas told him, while skipping through the page.

“As a teacher I might get access to some of the books there. Anyway let us first start here.”

In no time they had found the first book, Severus simply summoned it by using the accio spell.

“So what does it say?” Severus asked after a while.

“Give me a moment.” Legolas muttered, while scanning through a couple of pages. “It does tell that men can get pregnant. It explains that one needs a potion and what the side-effects of that potion will be… oh it also says that not everyone can get pregnant through the potion. it apparently depends entirely on a person’s DNA.”

“Hmm,” Severus filled this new information away in his mind. This could mean that the potion might need some adjustments. “Anything else?”

“No nothing relevant.”

“Alright next book.”

Legolas named the title, while Severus put the other one back in place.

Hours later they still hadn’t found anything useful. Severus was exhausted, continually performing all those spells really wore him out. Legolas had also gotten a bit sleepy, by reading and absorbing so much information at once.

“I think we’d better call it a day, don’t you agree?” Severus suggested.

“Go home you mean? Yes, I think that would be best for now. We will come back tomorrow, will we not?”

“Of course, I can’t do anything else anyway.” Severus sighed. “By the way what did you tell Aragorn to explain your absence of today?”

Legolas started, turning a lovely shade of pink.

“Well?”

The Elf took a deep breath before answering: “I said you would probably be in need of a friend, now Remus is gone and you are blind.”

Severus glared at him: “I don’t need your pity!” he growled.

“I know that, Severus, but I had to make up a plausible excuse.”

“So me being in need of a friend is plausible?”

“Uhm yes?” Legolas tried.

Severus snorted, before pulling out his wand which Legolas gave a frightened look. Mutares pedes talea, he muttered. The wand immediately started to vibrate and pulled him into the right way as he started to walk back towards the exit. Legolas grabbed his arm and wheeled him around. “You DO need someone to talk to my friend. You cannot hide from yourself. Do not close your eyes from the truth.”

“What is the truth I wonder?” Severus asked bitterly. “That I drove Remus away? That I’m blind through my own stupidity? That I’m a fool to have believed Voldemort’s propaganda? That my mother is dead and my sister ran away because I didn’t do anything to stop it all? That .. that..” Severus sighed. “Come on, let’s go back to Hogwarts.”

Legolas gave him a sympathetic look, before following him towards the fireplace.


Aragorn was reading a book when Legolas arrived in their room.

“Hello Love.” The man greeted him. “Did you have a nice day?”

“As a matter of fact I did.” Legolas replied, slumping onto the nearest chair.

“So what have you been doing all this time then? I haven’t seen you for the entire day?”

“Uhm.. uh.. we went to Diagon Alley, to do some sight-seeing and window-shopping. Severus wasn’t very talkative though. In fact at first he did not want to go out, but now I have even convinced him to meet me tomorrow.”

“What about me then?” Aragorn pouted.

“You shall have me and my body during the night.” Legolas joked.

They both laughed out loud, while Strider pulled him on his lap. “I love you.” He whispered in the Elf’s ear.

“Hmm,” Legolas hugged the man closer, enjoying the love and warmth that was emanating from his lover. He realised that he wanted to spend his remaining days with the man and that he wanted the whole world to know about their special bond. He wanted to make it official. But now, he figured was not the right time to ask. No, it was better to wait, when they were settled back in their own world.

“What are you thinking about?” Aragorn asked softly, caressing his face.

“Oh nothing special.” The Elf smiled, “Come on, let us have some dinner.” He wriggled off the Man’s lap and pulled him up. Together they walked silently towards the Great Hall.


For the next couple of days both Legolas and Severus kept on searching. By the third day the Potions Master’s eyesight had fully returned. The strange thing was that it even seemed better than before. Severus and Poppy figured that it either had something to do with the potion or with the egg itself. Albus had already ordered a team of scientist to remove the egg. They had also scanned the vicinity but no full-grown Harpy’s were found. This was quite strange of course and the scientist promised the Headmaster to return every week to check for the possible return of the Harpy.

Finally on the fifth day of their search Severus and Legolas made some progress in finding useful information on how to make the potion. Only by that time Aragorn had become quite suspicious. Why did his lover spend so much time with another gay man? Thankfully he hadn’t said anything about this to either man. So Legolas had been able to search about male pregnancy in peace for the last couple of days.

So today they had actually found something useful. To be precise they had found the recipe of the potion they would be needing. The only problem was of course: was this recipe genuine?

Severus explained to Legolas that he had good reason to believe that it was for a couple of reasons:

1. He had read more of the author’s work and ‘till this far all his potions had worked.

2. The ingredients and vague descriptions from the other books matched with this complete recipe.

3. The author himself had a gay brother, for which he had invented this potion. This showed that he didn’t disapprove of homosexual relationships or intended to the harm drinker of the potion.

Whether he had actually tried it or whether it worked wasn’t mentioned at all. Severus hoped this meant the man just hadn’t tried the potion yet when this book was distributed or that he wanted to keep it private.

“Now what?” Legolas questioned.

“Usually I make the potion, test it on myself or another willing guinea-pig and see if it needs any alterations. But in this case I’m of course not going to test the potion and to test it on you is also not a good idea, because if I need to make alterations you’re body has already wrongly transformed. And as we are quite in a hurry I think it would be best to test it on an animal first, a cat to be precise.”

“Alright, but why then test the potion on a cat, as you call it?”

“You know what a cat is Legolas, remember Mrs Norris.”

“But of course, how could I forget such a marvellous creature.” Legolas grinned.

“Anyway I could test it on any sort of animal, but as it is I’ve been wanting to buy a cat for quite some time now, so why not do it now.”

“Ah I see, then by all means let us go to Diagon Alley.

The magical – creature shop, Magical Menagerie, didn’t have a lot of regular cats. Although it was crowded with lots of other creatures, most of them locked up in cages. Legolas was very glad about this as they made awful squeaking, squawking, jabbering or hissing sounds.

They were in luck as no other customer was in the shop at the moment, so Severus approached the witch behind the counter.

“Excuse me ma’am, but we’re looking for some ordinary Muggle cats, do you perhaps sell these as well?”

“But of course, good sirs, follow me.” She pulled a pair of heavy black spectacles out of her left pocket and started walking towards the back of the shop.

“See here, we have 7 regular cats to be precise. Two white ones, one of them is an albino and has of course bright red eyes. That one is just your ordinary street cat, as he is a mix of different kinds of cat species, but he is very well mannered. Those two are Siamese cats, they are actually brother and sister and very attached to each other. Aren’t you my little darling’s?” she petted them lovingly, through the fence, which separated them of the rest of the store. “You see that fluffy one over there? That’s a Persian cat, she’s a reall cutey, lovely with kids. I don’t know why she is hiding in the corner now though, usually she wants all the attention she can get from you.” She eyed both men suspiciously. “Maybe she senses something is amiss.” She wondered out loud.

“I can assure you lady, as I am a Professor on Hogwarts I will do nothing to harm the creature.”

“But of course, professor Snape. It’s been ages since I’ve last seen you.” She smiled, clapping him on the shoulder. “My, my, you being a professor, who could have guessed.” She took of her glasses and rubbed them with her sleeve, before eying him more closely, her nose almost touching his. “I must admit that you haven’t changed a bit, since I last saw you. I suppose you don’t recognize me anymore. Unfortunately age hasn’t been very kind for me hahahah. I’m Janice Baltymore, I graduated in the same year you did only I was in Hufflepuff. You probably never knew about this, but I had a huge crush on you back then. I can still understand why though, you’re just as handsome as I remember you.”
Severus looked at her in shock at this, was the woman losing her mind?

“But of course you were too busy eyeing Remus Lupin to notice poor ole’ me.” She laughed, when she saw Severus turning a crimson red.

Oh my God, was I that obvious? He thought in horror.

“Anyway where were we, oh right cats, uhm what kind are you looking for?”

Severus quickly composed himself, glaring at Legolas, who was grinning like a mad man. As he found the entire situation extraordinary funny.

“We’re looking for two male cats.”

“Alright, let’s see Humpty and Dumpty over here are male.” She indicated the two white cats, “just as Goofy, the grey one with the black dot on its forehead and of course Xavier he is… uhm not here at the moment. Strange I swore I saw him just a minute ago.” Janice opened the fence door. The sealed area where the cats lived was quite large over 36 square meters and was filled with cat toys, like squeaking plastic animals and little cords, which moved from time to time.

It also had a scratch post in the middle of the cage, which was made from a fluffy purple material and strong cotton cords, which covered the centre of the post, while the fluffy material only covered the foot and top of it. You could clearly see that it had been frequently used and actually needed to be replaced.

On the left side were seven cups filled with water, followed by seven plates which were used for food. They all had their own colour and name pad and according to the sales witch they refilled or refreshed themselves every three hours.

Of course there were also seven sleeping baskets, behind a particular small one sat a little black cat, which was liking its paws indifferently.

Upon closer look Severus saw that it was a full-grown cat, although its size made it look like a kitten. “I’ll have Xavier and .. uhm.. Goofy, was it?”

“Yes, excellent choices Severus. But I should warn you that Xavier here has a mind of his own. He doesn’t like to be petted or ordered around for that matter.”

“I understand. Now how is his relationship with the other cats? Goofy in particular.”

“Like I said he keeps to himself most of the time, but he doesn’t fight with the other. But that’s because I’ve trained them very well.” She told them, with a proud face. “Now would you like to get something else, Professor? Some nice cat toys, a basket, a date with me perhaps?” she added, winking at the clearly uncomfortable potions master. “Are you sure you’re gay, hmm? You could give it a try you know, being straight.” She suddenly said.

“Excuse me?” Severus looked at her wide-eyed, where did she get the nerve from to ask him all of this? “I do not think that, that is any of your business. I am here to buy two cats and if you can’t help me with that, I can just as well go and look somewhere else!” He gestured to Legolas, to follow him out of the shop. The Elf found it all far too amusing to be wanting to leave. “Aw come on Severus, she is only interested in you. Besides I like these two cats, we will be out here in five minutes anyway.” Legolas whispered in his ear.

“You’re right.” Severus said out loud. “Okay give me everything they need.” He said to Janice.

“Alright, Sevvie. How would you like to transport them? You’re going back to Hogwarts I presume?”

“Yes, we are. We’ll take the Hogwart’s Express.”

“I’ll just shrink their stuff for you then.” The sales witch grabbed the cats, put the in their baskets and shrunk all their belongings. “Here you go, because it’s you it’s only one galleon and perhaps a date.” She added with a smirk.

Severus glared at here, threw two galleons on the counter and left, with a laughing Legolas and two meowing cats.