Sex, Drugs, and Orcish Theatre
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,044
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,044
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Enemy Acceptance
Chapter 28
"NOW YOU WILL SEE HOW A TRUE QUEEN FIGHTS!!" screamed Galadriel, launching herself at Kalina from behind.
"Oi! Back off bitch!" protested Kalina, trying to elbow Galadriel in the ribs as they both fell. Galadriel wrapped an arm around Kalina's throat and started to throttle her.
"Hooray!! She's going to kill her!!! There is a higher power of good!!!" Haldir was bouncing up and down on his seat gleefully.
Upon his platform Sauron watched the enticing brawl, strategically placing his hands on his lap to disguise just how much he was enjoying this. It then occurred to him that the fighting was still continuing after the actual match had ended. Plus Kalina had broken out of Galadriel's grasp and had resorted to resorted to a full-blown onslaught of fists, which Galadriel had no idea how to counter. If he let this continue then Galadriel would be in no fit state for the theatrical masterpiece he had planned to regain some of his power.
"I warned you!! You could have made it easy but no!! NOW YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!" Kalina's shobecabecame less and less comprehensible as Galadriel tried futilely to slap back in the art of girly hand to hand bitch-warfare. She was sporting a bloodied lip and cut eyebrow.
"Stop! Please! Okay!!" cried Galadriel trying to back off. Kalina, however, had inherited some kind of ancient berserker gene off of Elrond and was oblivious to Galadriel's pleas for mercy.
"You. Underling of my woman," said Sauron. Despite the noise of screaming orcs and shrieking women, Legolas heard the voice perfectly and knew it was directed at him. He was standing at the edge of the mud pit, holding Kalina's robe very precisely in front of his loins and had been unashamedly ogling the spectacle.
"I've got a name, you know," he couldn't help retorting. Sauron ignored him. "Go in there and break them up. Ordinarily I'd be pleased to see them fight to the death, but not today."
"Uhm... you do realize I may die horribly?" he said, watching Kalina continue to do grievous bodily harm unto Galadriel.
"Heed me elf or I'll make certain you die horribly," warned Sauron. Above all, he wanted to drag Kalina off and make her do terrible things to him. He seemed to find the same eroticism in Kalina's violence that made Legolas follow her around and submit to all but her most insane whims.
"Fine," sighed Legolas. After all, there were far worse deaths than being torn apart by accident by a mostly naked Kalina in the throes of bloodlust. He threw down Kalina's robe and jumped into the mud, cautiously wading towards Kalina. By now Galadriel was crawling backwards, begging Kalina not to do any more damage. In a swift movement Legolas grabbed Kalina around the waist and hoisted her into the air. She shrieked, flailed backwards and caused Legolas to fall backwards, covering his hair in mud.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!" he screamed, sitting up and wiping mud off his face. Kalina, who had also landed heavily, appeared from under the mud, with sanity back in her eyes.
"Oooooh... dirty pretty blonde princely elf..." said Kalina, her bloodthirstiness transformed into lust.
"Yes. Absolutely fucking filthy. I'm sick of it!" snapped Legolas, oblivious to her intentions. "And you managed to scratch my forehead with those talons of yours. Now can we go?"
"Yes! Now!" There was something Kalina couldn't resist about seeing Legolas like this. If anything, the mixture of filth and blood made him more alluring. If it wasn't for the fact that she was in the middle of a room full of orcs with her sort of fiancé type person watching she'd have happily ripped off his trousers and forced herself upon him then and there.
"Will someone give me a hand?" shouted Galadriel, totally ignored as Sauron's minions hollered their approval while Kalina climbed out of the pit behind Legolas, plotting to get Sauron out of the picture for the next eight hours or so as she pulled on her robe. At that moment the Dark Lord stepped down from his platform.
"Has she won your acceptance?" Sauron's voice filled the hall, overshadowing the others. His minions roared in approval. "Excellent. Now depart and enjoy yourselves. Your Master is pleased." Another roar sounded through the hall. "Come, my dear. You need a bath," he said offering his elbow to Kalina. In the background Galadriel was hoisted up by two orcs and thrown a simple brown shapeless sack-like garment before being dragged back to her cell.
"Uhm... yeah. Look, I'm really tired. I just want to get this dirt off and sleep for hours. It's been ages since I slept in a proper bed," lied Kalina. Sauron looked disappointed.
"Are you sure?" he asked, trying not to get too hopeful.
"Of course I'm sure. I get nasty when I'm sleep deprived, as I'm sure you'll understand," said Kalina, walking back to the living quarters with Legolas trailing behind, cursing.
"I don't get sleep deprived. Evil doesn't sleep," said Sauron.
"Well, then you should probably go find something to do for the next eight to ten hours," said Kalina. "After all, you do want me to look my best, and I need sleep for that. Plus you can do things while I'm asleep so you can devote yourself to me while I'm awake." Kalina fluttered her eyelashes, making her irresistible to Sauron.
"I never realized sleep was so important to your kind... I thought you just sort of went into weird little trances for a few hours at a time?" Sauron had spent too much of his time hating elves to be bothered to remember the finer points of the habits.
"Well we do that too but I've had an exceedingly hectic few days. Now go!" Kalina had reached the door to the chamber. "Slave! Inside. Run me a bath!" she barked at Legolas who slunk past her and into the room.
"Well, I do have things to get organized. I've decided to bring forward the ritual to tomorrow night. Once that's out of the way I shall be powerful enough to return to Barad-Dur and then we can plan our wedding!"
"That's lovely, dear," said Kalina. "Now piss off. I'm tired. And don't kiss me, you'll wind up all muddy and I'm not having you look unkempt on my part. Good night." With that Kalina slammed the door in a somewhat bewildered Sauron's face. He shrugged and meandered off, wondering if this sort of behavior was normal. He didn't encounter women often, and while it was obvious Kalina wasn't your average female they did apparently act in weird and suspicious ways. Or so he'd heard. And there was the question of that pretty elf boy she had running after her. Still, he was covered in grime and drying dirt and his hair was again ruined (Sauron smirked triumphantly at this fact) so there wasn't much danger in her paying him any attention. Happily naïve of the truth, Sauron lapsed into daydreams of sado-masochistic domestic bliss that the near future held for him.
"NOW YOU WILL SEE HOW A TRUE QUEEN FIGHTS!!" screamed Galadriel, launching herself at Kalina from behind.
"Oi! Back off bitch!" protested Kalina, trying to elbow Galadriel in the ribs as they both fell. Galadriel wrapped an arm around Kalina's throat and started to throttle her.
"Hooray!! She's going to kill her!!! There is a higher power of good!!!" Haldir was bouncing up and down on his seat gleefully.
Upon his platform Sauron watched the enticing brawl, strategically placing his hands on his lap to disguise just how much he was enjoying this. It then occurred to him that the fighting was still continuing after the actual match had ended. Plus Kalina had broken out of Galadriel's grasp and had resorted to resorted to a full-blown onslaught of fists, which Galadriel had no idea how to counter. If he let this continue then Galadriel would be in no fit state for the theatrical masterpiece he had planned to regain some of his power.
"I warned you!! You could have made it easy but no!! NOW YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!" Kalina's shobecabecame less and less comprehensible as Galadriel tried futilely to slap back in the art of girly hand to hand bitch-warfare. She was sporting a bloodied lip and cut eyebrow.
"Stop! Please! Okay!!" cried Galadriel trying to back off. Kalina, however, had inherited some kind of ancient berserker gene off of Elrond and was oblivious to Galadriel's pleas for mercy.
"You. Underling of my woman," said Sauron. Despite the noise of screaming orcs and shrieking women, Legolas heard the voice perfectly and knew it was directed at him. He was standing at the edge of the mud pit, holding Kalina's robe very precisely in front of his loins and had been unashamedly ogling the spectacle.
"I've got a name, you know," he couldn't help retorting. Sauron ignored him. "Go in there and break them up. Ordinarily I'd be pleased to see them fight to the death, but not today."
"Uhm... you do realize I may die horribly?" he said, watching Kalina continue to do grievous bodily harm unto Galadriel.
"Heed me elf or I'll make certain you die horribly," warned Sauron. Above all, he wanted to drag Kalina off and make her do terrible things to him. He seemed to find the same eroticism in Kalina's violence that made Legolas follow her around and submit to all but her most insane whims.
"Fine," sighed Legolas. After all, there were far worse deaths than being torn apart by accident by a mostly naked Kalina in the throes of bloodlust. He threw down Kalina's robe and jumped into the mud, cautiously wading towards Kalina. By now Galadriel was crawling backwards, begging Kalina not to do any more damage. In a swift movement Legolas grabbed Kalina around the waist and hoisted her into the air. She shrieked, flailed backwards and caused Legolas to fall backwards, covering his hair in mud.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!" he screamed, sitting up and wiping mud off his face. Kalina, who had also landed heavily, appeared from under the mud, with sanity back in her eyes.
"Oooooh... dirty pretty blonde princely elf..." said Kalina, her bloodthirstiness transformed into lust.
"Yes. Absolutely fucking filthy. I'm sick of it!" snapped Legolas, oblivious to her intentions. "And you managed to scratch my forehead with those talons of yours. Now can we go?"
"Yes! Now!" There was something Kalina couldn't resist about seeing Legolas like this. If anything, the mixture of filth and blood made him more alluring. If it wasn't for the fact that she was in the middle of a room full of orcs with her sort of fiancé type person watching she'd have happily ripped off his trousers and forced herself upon him then and there.
"Will someone give me a hand?" shouted Galadriel, totally ignored as Sauron's minions hollered their approval while Kalina climbed out of the pit behind Legolas, plotting to get Sauron out of the picture for the next eight hours or so as she pulled on her robe. At that moment the Dark Lord stepped down from his platform.
"Has she won your acceptance?" Sauron's voice filled the hall, overshadowing the others. His minions roared in approval. "Excellent. Now depart and enjoy yourselves. Your Master is pleased." Another roar sounded through the hall. "Come, my dear. You need a bath," he said offering his elbow to Kalina. In the background Galadriel was hoisted up by two orcs and thrown a simple brown shapeless sack-like garment before being dragged back to her cell.
"Uhm... yeah. Look, I'm really tired. I just want to get this dirt off and sleep for hours. It's been ages since I slept in a proper bed," lied Kalina. Sauron looked disappointed.
"Are you sure?" he asked, trying not to get too hopeful.
"Of course I'm sure. I get nasty when I'm sleep deprived, as I'm sure you'll understand," said Kalina, walking back to the living quarters with Legolas trailing behind, cursing.
"I don't get sleep deprived. Evil doesn't sleep," said Sauron.
"Well, then you should probably go find something to do for the next eight to ten hours," said Kalina. "After all, you do want me to look my best, and I need sleep for that. Plus you can do things while I'm asleep so you can devote yourself to me while I'm awake." Kalina fluttered her eyelashes, making her irresistible to Sauron.
"I never realized sleep was so important to your kind... I thought you just sort of went into weird little trances for a few hours at a time?" Sauron had spent too much of his time hating elves to be bothered to remember the finer points of the habits.
"Well we do that too but I've had an exceedingly hectic few days. Now go!" Kalina had reached the door to the chamber. "Slave! Inside. Run me a bath!" she barked at Legolas who slunk past her and into the room.
"Well, I do have things to get organized. I've decided to bring forward the ritual to tomorrow night. Once that's out of the way I shall be powerful enough to return to Barad-Dur and then we can plan our wedding!"
"That's lovely, dear," said Kalina. "Now piss off. I'm tired. And don't kiss me, you'll wind up all muddy and I'm not having you look unkempt on my part. Good night." With that Kalina slammed the door in a somewhat bewildered Sauron's face. He shrugged and meandered off, wondering if this sort of behavior was normal. He didn't encounter women often, and while it was obvious Kalina wasn't your average female they did apparently act in weird and suspicious ways. Or so he'd heard. And there was the question of that pretty elf boy she had running after her. Still, he was covered in grime and drying dirt and his hair was again ruined (Sauron smirked triumphantly at this fact) so there wasn't much danger in her paying him any attention. Happily naïve of the truth, Sauron lapsed into daydreams of sado-masochistic domestic bliss that the near future held for him.