Smack the Dog

Smack the Dog 26: The Odd Couple
Author: Foofy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Orli adds his own opinions to the mix and relieves a little tension. In the meantime, Sean discovers he has a new house mate, but only one bed.

*

Of course Orli was early. Sean hadn’t really been expecting anything else. After untying him, Dave had watched him pick up the t-shirt he had discarded, winced, and took it out of his hands.

“ Start the way you mean to go on,” he threw another black t-shirt at him, although this one was minus the characteristic stains on the front. Sean shrugged and pulled it on just as the door went again. Dave immediately moved towards the door.

“ Hey, you’re not my butler or anything,” Sean called to him. Dave raised an eyebrow at him and unlocked the door.

“ You’re early,” he commented mildly. Orlando glanced at him slightly sheepishly and darted into the room as though he was attempting to hide from spies following him. Sean stared at him silently, unable to move. Orli looked back at him warily, not moving himself, a deer examining the local wolves to see whether they were hunting or just passing through. Sean watched as Orlando shot Dave a look in question.

” He claims he’s okay,” came Dave’s response to this. “ Sean, for god’s sake, say something,”

“ Didn’t think you were allowed to visit,” Sean said finally. Orlando shrugged and grinned apologetically.

” I’m not. You never saw me,”

“ A figment of my imagination?” Sean raised an eyebrow. Orli nodded.

“ That’s the one,” he glanced down at himself and smiled ruefully. “ yeah, I’m quite a good figment I have to confess,”

“ What-“ Sean began when Orlando pounced, clearing the few paces between them and hugging him fiercely. Okay, it was with one arm since the other was in a sling, but this did not seem to make a huge amount of difference on the whole fierce factor. Orlando had his face pressed into Sean’s shoulder as though he was trying to breath him in, his whole body shaking. Sean was already hugging him back, although with a little more thought to injuries than the young man had.

“ You were supposed to be going to the toilet and then I find out you weren’t coming back!” came the younger man’s muffled voice in the t-shirt. Sean sighed heavily and kissed the top of his head.

“ Sorry,” he offered. Orli pulled back a little to stare at him with angry eyes.

“ Sorry? Sorry!!! Oooh, I could kill you sometimes!” Orlando went back into hug mode, his voice becoming muffled once again through t-shirt and chest being in the way. “ Okay, I knew you had something up your sleeve, but I thought you had a little more tact!”

“ So now you know,” sighed Sean again and then yelped as Orli slapped his leg with his good hand, hard.

“ You’re a stupid, fucked up Northern bastard, you know that?”

“ Actually, quite a few people have told me that,”

Orlando looked up at him with a suspicious expression, then laughed and got back into the hug.

“ God I missed you,” it was like the slap and the insults never happened. Sean readjusted his mind to the present position, and was absurdly touched by the younger man’s statement. He kissed him again fondly, his arms wrapping a little tighter around him, breathing in the smell of Orli, young, eager and .. slightly smelling of bubblegum. Oh well. Orli probably was bad for your teeth, thinking about it.

“ I missed you too, Orli,” Sean decided not to add the fact that they would continue to miss each other if Viggo had his way. After all, he was supposed to be improving on tact. However, he did not have the talents of Dave Wenham, who coughed lightly.

“ Much as I’m enjoying the show,” he said. “ you are supposed to be considering what to do.”

“ What to do?” asked Sean in bemusement when suddenly he found he had to shut up as a hand began to rub against his crotch in a determined matter. Sean tried to fight the flush rising to his cheeks. Dave sighed heavily.

“ Orli, put him down. You can do that in a minute,”

Orli gave a moan of protest, and simply moved his head up to press his lips onto Sean’s, claiming him. Sean felt himself become lost in the embrace. Dave coughed again, pointedly.

“ I’ll leave you to it and go have a word with Viggo. I’m not expecting the pair of you to behave but at least leave the room in something resembling tidiness, okay?”

The younger member of the room was too busy with his lips to give this the answer it deserved. Sean broke off and stared towards Dave, a little guiltily. His hands were full of Orlando, who was still pressed hard against him. There was no mistaking what else was hard either, considering it was pushed against him.

“ Dave, you don’t have to do this-“ he began, when the Australian shook his head.

“ Actually I do, but let’s not get too wrapped up in the who’s and whys, eh?” he shrugged in manner that spoke of extreme casualness. No one could get *that* casual. Sean began to get suspicious again, although this was becoming an automatic habit he couldn’t seem to kick.

“ D’you want me to come with you?” he asked, unwilling to let Dave be thrown to the wolves without at least some representation on the whole backup front.

“ You’re supposed to be coming with Orli.. damn,” he sighed. “ Now you’ve got me doing the terrible puns. You owe me big, Sean,” however, this was said with a wide grin. Sean nodded.

“ Noted,”

As soon as Dave had left the room, Orlando was already making demands. Sean was a little taken aback. People with slings, cuts and general bruises really shouldn’t have the same sort of power as Orli seemed to have, but he didn’t dare argue with such a determined expression and such a determined hand already caressing him between his legs. Sean bit back a gasp and gave Orli a gentle push away. Orli completely ignored him.

“ Orli, stop it. You’re injured.” Sean said desperately.

“ So what?” Orli’s eyes were hungry on him as though he hadn’t eaten for weeks. Sean sighed as though dealing with a particularly slow person and seized hold of Orli’s good hand.

“ So I don’t want to hurt you any further. You’re already off the set as it is,” the tone was stern, as it was supposed to be. It fooled no-one. The stubborn look increased on the younger man, Orlando looking longingly at the bed and then back at Sean.

“ How about if we’re extra careful?” he suggested cheerfully.

“ Orli, I’m not *that* innocent. You don’t do extra careful. In fact, you’re the poster boy for Anti-Extra Careful. No,” Sean silenced the immediate protest with another kiss. Orli all but melted into him. And good god did that kiss go straight to his groin, Sean’s heart beat apparently focusing there. Orli pulled away, panting, his eyes even more eager and desperate than before.

“ Stop being so bloody cautious and get on that fucking bed, Sean!”

Sean looked a little startled. Okay, his experience might not have been as full as some people’s but even he knew that a submissive’s script tended to avoid such things. Orli looked a little ashamed and waved his good arm in some type of explanation. However, Sean was getting fed up of explanations. Back to the Action Exploration.

As soon as he was on the bed Orli had straddled him, his good hand on Sean’s clean t-shirt, giving it an impatient tug. Sean sighed and obediently stripped himself of the t-shirt. Obviously he was not destined to wear anything over his chest today. Orli’s hand quickly moved to the fastenings on Sean’s jeans, and slid underneath them as soon as there was room. Sean jerked upright as eager hand touched equally eager flesh.

” Bloody hell, Orli! Take it a little slower, will you?”

“ You want foreplay as well?” teased Orli. Sean growled something and groaned again as Orli wrapped his hand around his length and squeezed it. After a little bit of rough handling, Orli had managed to pull Sean’s jeans into a position where they didn’t automatically affect everything that the young man did. Sean had gone well past the point of speaking by this stage and could only give the occasional moan of encouragement.

“ Take these off,” Orli jumped off him and gave a tug at Sean’s jeans before unfastening his own with expert hands. Within what seemed like seconds, lower halves were bare, although Orli’s t-shirt still cling to his lean frame. Orli did his one sided shrug again.

“ It’s too much hassle taking it off. And stop moving!”

“ Who made you boss?” grumbled Sean, who nevertheless stopped moving. Orli re-straddled him, smooth buttocks sitting on Sean’s thighs. All complaints vanished from Sean’s mind as Orlando’s tongue reintroduced itself to Sean’s right nipple, sucking and playing. A whimper issued from Sean’s throat at the suddenly gentle torture. His body screamed for release. In fact, his body screamed for a lot of things, being the demanding bastard that it was.

“ Where’s your lube?” Orlando obviously was on the same timetable. Sean froze and stared at him.

“ You mean you didn’t bring any?”

“ You want to give me a good plausible excuse to explain to Viggo why I’m walking out the room to go to town with lube?” Orli scanned Sean’s face and froze a little himself. “ Oh shit, you mean you don’t have any either?”

“ And keep it as what? A memory of times gone past?” a faintly bitter look had crossed Sean’s face. Orlando shrugged and slipped off him again. Sean stared after him. “ And where are you going?”

“ There’s got to be something in here that’ll work. I’m very flexible,” Orli swung open the bathroom door and switched on the light. There was a long pause. “ You know,” he said finally. “ I think I might catch the plague or something in there. How the hell have you managed to get it in that state in .. what, three days?”

“ Talent?” suggested Sean. “ Look, the soap’s still fine if that’s what you’re worried about,”

Orli had gone exploring. “ Hey, you’ve actually got shower gel! Your *own* shower gel! I’m impressed,” The lid was popped. “ Cheap stuff though.”

“ Yeah, well, it does the job,” Sean was a little embarrassed, although god knows why. There was more than enough other stuff to be embarrassed about than the fact that his shower gel was the nearest one he could grab off the shelf. “ Please tell me you’re not going to use it for what I think you’re going to use it for. Surely it’ll sting after a while?”

There were further sounds of rummaging. “ Yeah, well, if you’ve got any other suggestions I’m more than happy to consider them… hey, what’s this? Pink hand towels?”

“ They were here when I came,”

“ Kinky bastard,” there was a chuckle from the bathroom.

” That is NOT what I meant,” protested Sean, pushing himself up and staring towards the bathroom. “ Have you finished going through my stuff yet?”

There were further sounds of rummaging, plus a few clunks and a heavy sound that suggested a plastic bottle had fallen onto the floor. Orli made a thoughtful noise.

“ Do you have any cooking oil?” he asked.

“ No!!”

“ Calm down Sean.. hey, you’ve got baby oil!!” Triumphant, Orli strode out from the bathroom, the three-quarters full bottle of baby-oil clenched in his good hand. Sean stared at it, not recognising it in the slightest.

“ Where the hell was that? I didn’t buy that!”

“ Then it’s just our good fortune,” Orli was obviously not in the mood to start questioning such things.

“ What, the lubrication fairy paid a visit?” Sean raised an eyebrow. Orlando shrugged his one sided shrug again and popped the lid with a practised thumb.

“ Works for me. Go on, lie down,” further instructions were hurled in his direction. Sean sighed to himself. It seemed that everyone was likely to start ordering him about during this bloody job. He was about to obey orders as a novel experience, when he suddenly paused and narrowed his eyes.

“ Before you start trying out acrobatics, I am not doing anything that might damage you further,” he warned. Orlando pooh-poohed this with a raise of an eyebrow, jumping back on the bed and straddling Sean’s thighs again. Sean caught hold of his wrist and gave him the best stern look that he could manage.

“ I mean it, Orli,” he warned. “ You start bleeding on me, I’m going to hit the roof,”

“ I’ll be careful!” protested the younger man, trying to pull his wrist away from the Sean-provided manacles. “ Honestly! You won’t know I’m here!”

They both reviewed this. Orlando was about to open his mouth again to rephrase, paused and simply reclaimed his wrist back from Sean in one smooth yank. Sean yelped as ice cold baby oil suddenly applied itself to his lower region. Orli almost got bucked off.

“ Bloody hell Orli, you could have warmed it in your hands first!!”

“ Have a warmer bathroom,” advised Orlando cheerfully. Sean shot him a look. However, that was all pretty much he could do as hands suddenly started to smooth the oil onto desperate flesh, delving between his thighs, running over his balls, smoothing it over his length in extremely generous qualities. Sean’s lip started to get further punishments as the older man desperately tried to keep some of the more pathetic whimpers inside.

The bottle was tossed casually aside in a manner that was likely to get them in trouble with either Viggo or David. Sean barely had time to get out the first syllable of ‘is this wise?’ before Orlando had positioned himself over Sean’s straining length and pushed down. Suddenly the whimpers evolved to groans, Sean’s head tipping back onto the bed as he tried to get used to the feeling of being completely surrounded by the young man again. This was definitely one of those sensations you could die happy with.

Orlando, good to his word, was actually being faintly careful, or at least was ensuring that his damaged arm wasn’t being knocked and or harassed even if he had completely bypassed the whole foreplay thing. The bruises were less cared for, and the cuts were having to fend for themselves. Sean managed to freeze his entire body, allowing Orli to set the pace, rhythm and anything else the boy wanted as long as the damn things kept coming.

“ God, I’ve missed you,” gasped Orli, rotating his hips against Sean. Sean groaned his response. What did Orlando want, a full speech? Thankfully Orlando seemed to be focusing on getting used to having Sean inside him, which was at least a nod to Sean's ego. People really shouldn't be able to slide onto him and act as though it was nothing more than making a cup of tea.

Sean carefully put his hands on Orli's hips, as though touching delicate china. He couldn't remember half of the places which were bruised, and therefore it was probably safest to assume that nearly all of Orli should be treated as delicately as possible, despite the fact that the 'delicate' young man was now trying to ride him with all the determination and force of riding an untamed beast. Sean groaned a little louder and a little longer, his fingers gripping Orli harder as though acting under their own initiative. He could hear the familiar soft pants, the little moans that sounded more like demanding puppies, and felt a stab of longing for the old relationship that it was almost painful. However, Orlando was excellent in sweeping any such thought away; he moved harder, faster, squeezing with his muscles until Sean felt he was about to explode.

Deciding to get a little more of his own back, Sean's hand slid to Orli's erection; his palm already slick from the oil, Sean began to roughly stroke him in time with Orli's movements, this area at least being one place that Sean had a damn good idea that no bruising had occurred. Orlando gasped loudly. Sean grinned lazily. Ah, so not quite in as much control as he thought, eh? He could feel Orli trembling around him already, his muscles clenching him harder.

" Fuck...," gasped Orlando.

" Trying, darling," panted Sean, and grinned at the slap his shoulder suddenly had to put up with. However, any one liners were definitely put on the back burner; Orlando was moving faster if that was possible, the younger man's eyes closed already, his breathing so quick that Sean had a horrible feeling he was going to need to go back to hospital. On account of him AGAIN. Nope, Sean was definitely going to have to have a Be-Nice-To-Orli day before Sean appeared in medical statistics as a reason for domestic accidents.

Orlando moaned again, a desperate little moan. Sean's hand moved quicker, reaching its goal. Orli almost froze entirely for a heartbeat, then came with a cry, coating Sean's already damn messy hand, his seed trickling onto Sean's stomach slowly. Not that Sean was caring. At the feel of muscles clenched so incredibly tightly around him, Sean had given up all sense of control, thrusting hard upwards and groaning in his release within the younger man. Right, that was it. Orlando was going to get healed as soon as possible and then he could happily pound into him. Not having any real control over the speed and intensity of the thrusts was going to torture him more than any needles under the fingernails, although it was probably quite understandable why the torturers kept this little secret out of the historical record.

He was faintly aware of Orli's sleepy smile aimed at him. Sean was faintly proud of the obviously satisfied look on the young man's face. Obviously Orli was more than happy with anything they could do, which begged a whole lot of questions indeed. Sliding from his perch, Orlando immediately lay beside him, snuggling up, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Sean was somewhat sticky at this stage.

" That," Orli breathed in his ear. " was bloody marvellous, Sean,"

And considering ‘That’ lasted for approximately five minutes, Sean could only be flattered. Or possibly flattened; Orlando was being extremely wriggly, as though trying to connect as much bare skin as possible with Sean's. This wouldn't normally be a huge problem, but Sean was far too conscious of injuries being knocked. The younger man looked remarkably sulky for a while, before settling down like a dog with a bone, all satisfaction and big waggy tail.

" Now all we got to do is get Viggo to join in," Orlando said sleepily and yawned slightly. Sean pressed his lips to Orli's forehead, considering.

" You think he would come back?" he knew his voice was already shaking. Thankfully Orlando didn't seem to mind. He stroked Sean's chest with a hand.

" Of course he wants to come back. It's whether he will or not. You know how stubborn he is," Orli moved to allow himself room to kiss Sean's neck. " He doesn't think he's good for you," he murmured. " But I know better."

" More plots?" Sean would have shaken his head had it not been for the fact that Orli would have been bruised by it. There was a light chuckle from Orlando at this.

" More plots," he agreed. " Is there any other way?"

*

The phone was ringing. Persistently. With intent to wound. Sean opened his eyes slowly, and groaned to himself, moving the sleepy body of Orlando off his stomach and rolling over to crawl towards the bedside phone. Okay, the flat phone anyway.

Orlando gave a sleepy little yawn and snuggled into the warm spot that Sean had just vacated.

“ Who’s that?”

“ Do I look as though I’m psychic?” replied Sean dryly, scooping up the phone in one hand. “ Hello?”

“ Do I want to know what took you so long?”

Sean yawned and settled back in a more comfortable position on the bed, pulling Orli to nestle against him. The young man willingly did so, his hand playing on Sean’s skin idly.

“ Hi Dave. Thought you were with Viggo,”

“ Yes, well,” there was a sigh on the other side of the phone. Sean’s sleepiness suddenly drifted away from him. The phone was clenched a little tighter.

“ What do you mean, yes, well?” Sean asked slowly. Orli’s hand stopped playing on his stomach. Dark brown eyes stared at him. Sean pulled him a little closer, feeling the comfort of having another person’s body so close to him and focused on the conversation at large.

“ He’s already gone, but I don’t know where to. He’s been acting extremely oddly.” There was a pause on the other end of the line. “ Odder, anyway,” Dave amended. Sean relaxed slightly. Viggo and oddness were hardly unknown together.

“ Presumably he made some sort of comment to where he was going,” Sean shrugged. “ Wanted a bit of rest, something like that?”

“ He said ‘off’ and that was it, Sean.” Dave’s voice definitely held a warning. “ You know what he’s like. That could mean anything from going to the shops to jumping off a cliff,”

“ Well-“ However, Sean had obviously had his time up with his own phone as Orlando seized hold of it. Sean sighed heavily and ruffled the younger man’s hair. Orli grinned at him briefly before turning his full attention on the phone.

“ When did he go?” There was a pause, then a rude curse. Sean raised an eyebrow. “ Shit, right, I’d better get off. You coming back here?”

More pauses. Sean could faintly hear the noise of Dave speaking on the other end of the line, although it was obvious that Orli was trying to make sure he couldn’t. Finally accepting the inevitable, Sean waited to be told.

“ Right. Gotya. See you later,”

Beep. Orli sat there looking at the phone before staring back at Sean with an apologetic look on his face.

“ I’m really sorry, Sean. I’m gonna have to go,” he said.

“ Already?” Sean could already feel the sinking feeling in his stomach. Orlando nodded. “ This is like a bloody affair, Orli,”

“ I know, and we’re working on it. But until then, I’m going to have to stop Viggo knowing. You know how he gets,” There was a look of absolute misery on Orli’s face. Relenting, Sean leaned over and kissed him on the cheek softly. Orli perked up immediately, although there was a still a distinct hang dog expression in his eyes.

“ Anyway, Dave’ll be here to keep you company in a few moments. He’s already on his way,” he added eagerly. Sean laughed softly.

“ I’m not an invalid or someone who has to be watched 24 hrs a day, Orlando,” he said in what was almost a mock stern voice. Said voice didn’t seem to do anything to Orli, who simply slid out of bed and hooked his boxers with the toes on his left foot to avoid bending down to pick them up.

“ Yeah, well, he’s here. He offered,” Orlando struggled into his clothes, giving Sean a pointed look when he stood up to help. Obviously no help needed here either. Sean pulled the blankets over him and watched the young man dress.

“ You’re going to walk back there without a shower?” Sean’s voice was dubious. “ Viggo’s not stupid, Orli.”

The younger man paused in his buttons fastening and looked a little doubtful. Sean sighed inwardly to himself. Obviously there really hadn't been anything with Karl, as Orlando seemed to be missing the first idea about how to pull off a successful affair.

“ If I’m not back there when he is, I’m going to get shot as it is,” there was obvious indecision in the young man’s voice. Orli shook his head. “ If he’s not back, then I’ll have a shower. I can say my arm’s been aching and I needed the warm water or something,” Confidence was returning. Sean shrugged again and watched him as he messed around with his shoes.

“ I don’t want you putting yourself at risk over this, Orli,” he said finally. Orlando glanced at him, obviously surprised.

“ At risk? What d’you think he’s going to do to me, exactly?” There was fascination in his voice as though Sean had suggested that Viggo wore ladies underwear whilst playing Aragorn. Sean resisted the urge to shrug yet again, and simply readjusted his position in the bed.

“ Well, at risk is a little strong. Just don’t get yourself in a situation where he’s going to get upset,” Sean said finally. “ I don’t want him leaving you, too.”

“ He’s going to get upset, Sean. He’s been nothing but upset since you left,” Orli said patiently, his voice soft. “ But I’ll try.”

“ If he finds out, blame me,” added Sean as an after thought. Orli rolled his eyes in a manner that suggested that this particular idea was not new to him, and moved to stoop over the figure in the bed, kissing him gently.

“ See you tomorrow, Sean,” Orli grinned at him, and went to the door just as someone knocked at it. The young man glanced back at the bed in question. Sean sighed and gestured. Orli peered through the little spy-hole that had been placed conveniently in the door and nodded in satisfaction.

“ It’s just David,” Orli seized the handle and pulled it open. Or at least tried to. After a little bit of fumbling, the catch finally released and the door swung open. Dave raised an eyebrow.

“ Aren’t you supposed to be-“

“ Just going. Bye!” Orlando pecked him on the cheek and disappeared with a clatter down the stairs. Dave sighed and stepped into the studio, closing the door smartly behind him. His eyes fell upon the figure on the bed with the look that Sean could imagine putting on if the vicar came to tea; polite, nothing-sinful-happening-here. Although custard creams were unlikely to get a mention.

“ Tired?” he enquired politely, before walking into the kitchen with two bags full of shopping. Sean stared at the bags, then pushed himself up as the man disappeared into the kitchen area.

“ Moving in?” Sean slid out of bed himself and hurriedly found his boxers. He suddenly released exactly how much baby oil Orli had used on him. Bloody hell, he was so lubricated he could surf down a mountain. Speaking of the baby-oil, the damn thing had landed on the rug and had leaked. A suspicious stain had already appeared on the pale material, made worse by knowing that it had indeed resulted from a suspicious action. An excuse really needed to be thought of before innocent people started asking innocent questions.

There was noise from the kitchen. The fridge opened and shut. Cupboards were opened. Sean ventured forth to discover that Dave was happily restocking. A little pile of cleaning equipment lay near the kitchen door, obviously intended for the disease factory that was his bathroom.

“ Dave, you don’t have to do this,” Sean felt extremely wretched. A carton of freshly squeezed orange juice found its way to the fridge. Dave seemed not to hear him as he busied himself.

” You hungry yet?” he queried. Sean, still standing at the doorway in his boxers, muscles oiled and gleaming, had to re-set his mind to normality conversation.

” Well, I suppose I could eat something, although that’s really my question. You’re the guest, remember? Even if I didn’t let you in,” Sean watched him as more foodstuffs were added to his kitchen, including an assortment of fruit. Fruit was normally something he added to alcoholic punches, apart from the very basic apples and bananas variety which were eaten to keep his mother happy.

“ Oh, don’t be silly,” replied David, still in good-butler mode. “ Go have a shower and I’ll make you something. To be honest, I probably know your kitchen better than you do yourself. And stop dripping oil on the floor. Honestly,”

Sean looked down guiltily, then suddenly realised he had been had. An amused grin aimed itself at him again.

“ Go on, shoo. You look like you’ve been laminated,” Dave turned back to the tinned items. “ I take it you and Orli had a meaningful chat, yes?”

Well, certain tones were definitely meaningful. Sean flushed and disappeared for a shower without another word. It was going to be safer.

*

Dave had elected to sleep on the sofa for the night. Nothing had worked to get him to change his mind and take the bed. Threats, pleas, bargains, gambles, all fell on deaf ears. Dave was sleeping on the sofa. End of story.

Sean was therefore sulking for a large part of the evening. Guests were not supposed to be sleeping on the sofa, and certainly not his sofa which had been a hell of a lot of action in its short life. Sean had a suspicion that a lot of vodka had been split on it in the past couple of days, and therefore there was a distinct possibility that David might end up overcome by the fumes anyway. Sean suspected there were other dubious stains from past good nights, but really didn’t have the heart to tell him.

Another reason for sulking was the liabilities that the said guest was putting on. Alcohol was now banned from this point on. Ever. Not even a light beer would pass Sean’s lips apparently. Sean had a horrible feeling he might be stuck with snogging drunk teenagers to get the familiar taste again. Sean’s bottles were confiscated, and Dave even managed to locate the spare bottle of Barcardi which Sean had stashed as an emergency as it was so obviously a girl’s drink.

“ So what am I allowed to drink?” protested Sean at all these draconian measures. Dave smiled sweetly and passed him a glass of orange juice. And so started the hate campaign against the humble satsuma.

The bed had had to be stripped, which was certainly unremarkable. Oil and general other fluids of a naughty nature had made the bottom sheet into a biological haven and, given time, could probably start off whole new species. Sean slid into the fresh clean sheets and felt completely and utterly guilty as hell.

“ You sure you don’t want the bed?” he pleaded with Dave who was settling in across the room. Dave adjusted his pillow and didn’t bother to glance up.

“ Yes,” his voice was mild and patient. Sean growled in the back of his throat. A camp bed was being bought for tomorrow, which was going to be convenient as well as providing some more utterly amusing puns. Unless, of course, you were sober. The humble Satsuma was cursed again.

“ Look, you’ve had a long day filming. Take the bed, for fuck’s sake,” Sean tried again. Dave sighed.

“ It was a morning’s filming, I pretty much dozed for a lot of it and the sofa is not going to kill me, Sean,” he said, a stricter tone entering his voice. Sean thought of all the possible stains on the sofa and wasn’t so sure about the safety grounds. Dave sighed again, and flopped onto the sofa. “ Tell you what. If I have any problems I’ll let you know. Okay?”

Sean hesitated, but it was probably the best he was going to get. He grumbled to himself and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Sleep was not the most welcoming suggestion any more. He was sober, certainly, the last of the welcoming buzz of alcohol having disappeared some hours before. However, he was also clear headed and able to remember things, and there were still certain things he was desperate to forget in the night.

He sighed lightly, and shut his eyes as the lamp was switched off with a click. The dark threatened to overwhelm him already, but this was easy enough to fight. He was hardly a child, after all. Nuzzling the pillow, Sean changed positions a couple of times but the most comfortable position was so extremely elusive. The springs of the bed protested about all this treatment, just as it had protested previously.

Finally, Sean settled. An hour later he even dozed.

*

… it was a room but it wasn’t a room. There were no windows, no doors leading to it. In fact, it was a box. A large white box, which had been painted with a white so white it glowed. It was the type of white that Dale Winton proclaimed Daz Washing powder to produce whilst he annoyed people on their own doorstep. It was the type of white that seemed to disintegrate any sort of dirt that dared to land on it.

The bed, of course was in the centre. And, fucking hell was it large. It was huge. It was obviously soft and obviously comfortable, pillows lying at the centre of it as though giant fabric marshmallows. And still that white, burning a hole in your eyes, made more visible by the cast iron bed frame that the mattress sat on.

Sean had no idea where he was, what time it was, or even whether he cared. For it was blatantly obvious what he was doing there. He wore very little as usual, just a pair of tight trunks that he knew showed off his buttocks to their best effect. His muscles were oiled, but it was a good type of oiled, not overdone, not underdone, but just right. This was the baby oil equivalent of the three bears’ porridge. He wasn’t wet or sticky, just nicely shiny and nicely lubricated all over.

And this was the part he hated. He knew it was a dream. Where else would rooms like this exist, apart from dreams such as these and possibly some sci-fi shows? Idly Sean wondered who today’s lucky contestant was; occasionally it was Karl, or possibly Dave. Sometimes it was Viggo, looking stern and focused. Other times it was Orli, all bounce and enthusiasm. It was not unknown for his mind to get greedy and get two of them, although Karl would forever remain by himself, a fire burning in the back of those dark eyes as they stared at him.

There was a noise behind him, and he jumped, spinning on his heel as he did so. Orlando stared back at him, apparently unconcerned about the fact that Sean had come close to punching out at him. The young man’s eyes drifted over Sean’s chest, his stomach, before returning to look at him with that familiar grin of his.

“ We’d better be quick,” whispered Orli. “ I don’t know when he’ll be back,”

Sean’s question about where Orli’s injuries had gone died in his throat as Orli’s hands were on him, the young man’s naked body pressed hard against his own. Sean whimpered softly, kissing him back, unable to stop himself. He found himself on the bed within seconds, not knowing how he got there and not caring in the slightest, his hands full of Orli, of warm skin underneath his palms. He bit his way down the young man’s neck, but stopped immediately at Orli’s warning cry.

Dreading to look, Sean glanced back. However, Orlando wasn’t tense under his hands. Far from it. The young man was trembling and eager, his breath coming faster and faster again as he stared at the new occupant of the room.

Karl.

Dangerous, determined. In his eyes burned the look of one who knew what was going to happen in the next half hour. Dark blue jeans clung to his body as though their life depended upon it, and they were so tight that it was as though they had been spray-painted on. Nothing obscured the man’s chest. Sean’s eyes fell on him in confusion, then slowly moved to focus on the item that he held in his right hand, feeling his heart race in his chest as he did so.

It was a tennis racket

*

“ Sean!!” Dave’s voice was urgent, his hands on Sean’s shoulders. “ It’s okay, calm down,”

Reality reinserted itself. Sean shook his head, then focused on the man who was holding him, the room table lamp casting an almost romantic glow in the room. He could see the concerned look on Dave’s face, could feel how tense he was, David’s hands already gently rubbing way some of the fear in Sean’s shoulders. The younger man had obviously jumped into bed and pulled him into an embrace at some point.

“ Okay, what just happened?” Sean had to lick his lips to be able to speak properly, but speak he could do finally. He could still feel his heart thudding in his chest, still feel the trembles that were running through him as though he had overused all of his muscles. Dave stroked him a little more as though soothing a frightened child.

“ I think you had a bad dream,”

Sean shuddered and flopped to lie back down on the bed. Obviously he had managed to sit up in his agitation like one of those characters you saw on the televisions sitcoms, the ones who just sat up and –

“ I didn’t scream did I?” Sean asked the question with the dread of someone who really didn’t want the answer. Dave lay beside him and didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. It was written all over his face. Sean was faintly pleased that he had managed to break through David’s usual neutral expression, although this was no consolation to the fact that he must have scared the living daylights out of the younger man for that particular expression to have turned up. Sean groaned loudly.

“ I’m sorry,”

“ What were you dreaming of?” Dave asked quietly. Sean shuddered again. Obviously the question was withdrawn as Dave pulled him into another hug without saying another word. Which was probably just as well. After his heart rate had gone down a little past the usual rate for hummingbirds, Sean rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling again.

“ Sorry,” he repeated, numbly. “ It’s okay, go back to sleep. I’ll be fine,”

Dave eyed him in the manner of one who has heard that line before and knew exactly how much a pile of manure it was. Sean managed a smile. It was weak and poor, but it was a smile nevertheless. Dave shrugged to himself and rolled over, his back facing Sean.

“ Okay, you’re fine. You okay if I sleep here tonight? You were right, the sofa is a little uncomfortable,” Dave was obviously reciting lines. Sean smiled to himself and patted Dave’s shoulder.

“ Sure. I’ll move to the sofa and-“

Dave rolled over enough to give Sean a hard look. Sean put on a mock surprised look.

“ But I’ll only steal the blankets,” he protested. Dave rolled back over and adjusted his position, burrowing a little lower.

“ I’ll live,” he replied. “ Go to sleep, Sean,”

“ The light’s still on,” Sean looked towards the lamp which seemed miles away. Dave nestled a little lower.

“ Yeah, I know,” he replied. “ It needs some exercise,”

That made about as much sense as everything else today. Shrugging, Sean lay down, staring at the ceiling, which of course was white. At least that just happened to be coincidental. He shivered and moved a little closer to Dave, who didn’t seem to have any objections to Sean’s leg lightly touching his own. Was that Sean’s imagination or did the younger man press back a little harder?

Sean didn’t shut his eyes for a very, very long time. The lamp was obviously going to get more exercise than it could ever have hoped for.

*

He woke up to find himself pretty much wrapped round Dave, the younger man hugging Sean’s arms in his sleep as though to ensure that the older man didn’t disappear off anywhere. Sean had a morning flush of mortification. Dave had been so very clear that he didn’t want anything that Sean was offering him, and here Sean was spooning tightly against him with a hard on the size of the Effiel tower, thankfully pressed into David’s thigh rather than backside.

Sean disentangled himself, which was more tricky than he had first imagined. Dave moaned softly in his sleep and moved into a better position, Dave being one of these people who slept with one leg bent, as though having attempted to get into a foetal position but who had given up half way through. Sean paused to look at him. Even more relaxed in sleep than he was in day to day life, Dave had a distinct innocent quality to him as though he constantly lived in a musical.

Smiling to himself, Sean slid out of bed and padded towards the kitchen to switch on the kettle. The cupboards were also inspected. Cereal? In his kitchen? Did he look all of 10 years old? This was what came of other people making decisions for you. A little change here, a little change there, and suddenly the person snapped and struck out. He was surprised more Cereal Killers didn't reach the news.

Sean took out the package, which seemed to be some New Zealand version of Kellogg’s rice crispies except without such annoying characters, and immediately checked to see whether it was giving away any sort of plastic nick-nack in the bottom of it. His girls normally stole those although he had been quite tempted with a little plastic Death skeleton which apparently came from Cartoon Network. It was Grim, they insisted. Yes, it certainly was. And it normally fitted his mood perfectly.

Nope. If New Zealand had the little toys at the bottom of cereal packets, this one certainly had not been invited to the party. All it had was what appeared to be some sort of healthy eating waffle on the back of the packet, presumably to bore the adult population. Sean felt slightly cheated as he did the basic preparations that a bowl of cereal required.

Bowl of Crispies in one hand, spoon in the other, Sean ventured forth. Two spoons of sugar had been plonked in the bowl, mostly as a reaction to the ‘You Must Eat Better!’ rear of packet which always managed to drive him up the wall. Nothing fun in this world was good for you, it seemed. Bastards.

“ Morning,” came a yawn from the bed. Sean, who had a mouthful of cereal at the time, simply nodded his acknowledge whilst swallowing.

“ Hi. Sleep okay?” Sean made his way to the sofa, where, after a bit of fumbling, he managed to get the sofa clear for him to sit down. David sat up in bed, his short hair sticking up in an amazing amount of directions.

“ Well, yeah. Apart from some bastard trying to steal the blankets constantly,” Lazy grin inserted here. Sean looked affronted.

“ Hey, I did warn you!” he protested, waving the spoon at him. Dave seemed less bothered about the spoon and more bothered about the kettle which had finished boiling. Sliding out of bed himself, David walked towards the kitchen, yawning widely. Sean found himself looking in amusement at the loose ¾ leggings that apparently certain Australians wore to bed. Very sexy.

Dave worked out where the gaze was aimed at and groaned. “ I don’t normally wear anything, okay? These were the first things that I could find,”

“ Dave,” Sean tried to be neutral and failed. “ they’re lime green,”

“ Sean, no taunting before coffee, otherwise I might have to kill you,” replied Dave as he continued into the kitchen. Locating a clean mug with ease – Sean still couldn’t get over that part – there were sounds of coffee being prepared.

“ But they’re *green*, Dave,” protested Sean cheerfully. “ How can I justify to myself to belt up before the coffee, eh?”

“ Give me half an hour and a large bullwhip and I’ll find you something,” came the reply from the kitchen. “ Oh, don’t worry, I think I’ve found a kitchen knife instead…,”

“ You’d never stab me. You’d get blood all over the carpet,” Sean began to attack the cereal again, speaking through a mouthful of rice crispies. There was an amused snort from the kitchen.

“ So I’d put out some bin bags to catch it. You have no imagination in your cleaning processes, Sean,” the sound of a tea-spoon being stirred. Sean swallowed his mouthful again.

“ I don’t *have* any cleaning processes, Dave,” he pointed out. Dave emerged from the kitchen, sipping the drink and looking thoughtful.

“ That’s probably where you’re going wrong then,” he advised. “ D’you want a drink?”

Sean shook his head slightly and dipped spoon in bowl yet again. Dave wandered towards the bathroom and switched on the light, glancing in as though expecting Sean to have managed to mess up the bathroom already. However, Sean knew damn well it was still sparkly clean. He had already suffered enough with the comments that you should really start to think of cleaning the bath when you are able to carve your name in the gunk.

With presumably no problems with the water temperature, Dave drained the cup of coffee and placed it carefully on a side table before disappearing into the bathroom, shutting the door with a click behind him. The sound of water running started up. Sean had a cruel thought to go mess around with the taps in the kitchen, but put it to the back of his mind. He owed Dave, as much for not mentioning the nightmare now than actually being there at the time.

The bowl and Dave’s cup had managed to find their way back into the kitchen by the time Dave emerged, hair tousled and wet, clean clothes already on. Apparently Dave’s efficiency knew no bounds. Sean was still dressed in the boxers he wore to bed.

“ Right, I’ve got a scene with Lij and Astin, so I’m not sure when I’m going to be finished,” David was attacking his hair with a towel. “ I think they’re doing something hobbity this morning so at least I got a lie in. Did you want me to come back this evening?”

“ If you’re okay with that,” Sean felt incredibly guilty. “ I don’t want to –“

“ Oh, shut the fuck up, Sean,” replied David cheerfully. “ I’m more than happy to come back. It beats either going down the pub or staring at the television screen. At least with you I can polish up my insults,”

“ I’m glad I can give something back to the community,” replied Sean solemnly. Dave snorted laughter and located his shoes.

“ Daft bastard,” he commented cheerfully. Sean yawned and covered himself with the blanket that he had given Dave for the sofa experience. Boots on, David straightened to give him a slightly wary look. “ You planning to do anything for today or are you just going to sit in front of daytime television all day?”

“ Well, it is daytime,” protested Sean, moving himself to lie down. “ And Dom said he’d lend me his playstation as well. Got to pick it up this afternoon,”

Dave sighed heavily. “ Would it be too much to ask for you to get dinner ready?” he raised an eyebrow. Sean grinned.

“ For you, sweetheart,” the dramatics were in full flow at the moment. “ anything,”

“ Hmmmm,” David rolled his eyes and picked up his coat. The sound of car keys jangled. “ Okay. Just behave. AND NO DRINKING,”

“ Perish the thought,” sighed Sean. David nodded and was gone.

The day awaited Sean’s decision.

The bed won.