The Music in My Heart
folder
Lord of the Rings Movies › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
75
Views:
3,777
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
75
Views:
3,777
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 25 Echoes
Title: The Music in My Heart, Chapter 25
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, Glorfindel/Haldir, Elladan/OFC, Elrohir/Legolas, others implied
Rating:.NC-17 for future chapters
Warning: AU (Story set 770 years after ROTK); Slash and het.
Feedback: This is my first fanfic, so constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive:
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Alex Cat for her help in betaing this fic. Thanks also to Lady Victoria for her comments and support.
Disclaimer: Any of the residents of Middle-earth and Aman that you recognize belong to Prof. Tolkien’s estate. The same is true about Middle-earth and Aman. I’m only visiting and admiring the “views”.
Summary: Sauron may be gone, but his legacy of evil still lingers. As Middle-earth faces the threat of another dark lord, a party of elves departs Aman on a mission for the Valar, a mission of mercy long delayed.
Chapter 25 --- Echoes
“Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden.
My words echo
Thus, in your mind”.
T.S. Elliott
*****
“Seere! You are awake! Praise the Valar!” a much relieved Erestor exclaimed.
“She is awake?” Elrond’s silver gray eyes had cleared of sleep instantly upon hearing Erestor’s joyous greeting to his daughter.
“Aye! Aye, she is, tinechor toror'! Seere, I… we have been so worried. Please speak to me again so I know you are truly awake, pen vuil,” he requested. (shield brother)
“Oh, Ada. I am so sorry to have added this grief to you. I am indeed awake and I will recover. Do not worry! I could not bear to add more pain to your fëa.” Seere whispered, her voice rough from lack of use. She gave her father’s hand a weak squeeze to reinforce her words.
Relieved beyond words, he drew his daughter into his arms and let the tears he had been fighting since he had first seen her lying unconscious in the bed of the Healing House fall freely. His Seere was not lost; she had returned to him!
*****
Several minutes passed before he regained control of his emotions and could bear to let her go from his arms. Knowing she was still quite weak and her injures had yet to fully heal, Erestor gently settled her back against the pillows. Loving fingers once again wiped tears from his daughter’s face and he sat smiling down at the light of his life. “You scared me, pen vuil. I could not have borne losing you too. I give thanks to the Valar that you are yet again with us.”
Fresh tears began to trickle down her face at his words. “Ada, I am so sorry to have worried you so. I love you so much, Ada!”
“I know you do. And stop apologizing. It was not your fault, nor was it Elrond’s that you were hurt and needed time to heal. I care only that you are awake again!” he assured her. “Would you like some water to ease your throat?”
Seeing her nod, he reached over and poured her a glass from the pitcher sitting at her bedside table. Sliding his arm behind her shoulders, he eased her into a sitting position before raising the glass to her lips. “Here, melme, let me help you. Small sips…” (love)
Looking to his friend, he asked “Would you mind keeping her company for me while I go find Azeriel? As she has been caring for Seere, I think she needs to see her and make sure all is well.”
“Of course, meldir. She will be fine once she has had time to recover, but it would be best to let Azeriel confirm this,” Elrond replied, his voice pitched low to help sooth the battered spirits of his companions. (friend)
*****
As the door closed behind her father, the fears that had plagued her dreams returned. /Does Elrond truly know? Now that I am no longer dreaming, he will not forgive me for my poor judgment./
Risking a discrete glace at him under the veil of her lashes, she was surprised to see the tender smile gracing Elrond’s features. His gentle voice startled her into staring into his eyes. “I do not blame you, pen vuil. You gave someone who you had thought was a friend the benefit of the doubt and tried to spare your family, especially your father, from further pain. I also expect you were embarrassed and ashamed of what happened, though you have no reason to be.” (dear one)
Seeing the pain and shame that clouded her eyes, Elrond eased himself forward on the chaise so he could shift his position to sit beside her on the bed. Taking one of her trembling hands in his, he took as deep a breath as his damaged ribs would allow before he continued. “You have no reason to be ashamed or to feel guilty, Seere. You were betrayed by someone you should have been able to trust without reservation. He hurt and abused you in a profound manner and I have no forgiveness to offer him. I grieve with you for the loss of your champion, Roitar.”
“I knew Roitar for many millennia and valued his friendship. He could have been the captain of the guard when Glorfindel sailed west, but deferred to Ermehtar in a selfless and generous act.” Sighing, he added “We were greatly in his debt and never knew it, but I will sing his praises to the Valar and to Eru this night. He saved your life, as well as, your father’s for I have no doubt you would have faded along with Erestor if Ermehtar had succeeded in forcing you.”
Hearing his reassurance, Seere began to speak in a low, strained voice. “He sat with me for a long time after he came to my aid. He let me cry, let me talk, and he never tried to force me to tell what Ermehtar had done unless… until I ready to do so.”
Tears choked her voice as she went on “He taught me to ride a horse like a warrior, thought the twins think they did. I loved to watch him train the troops. Roitar told me stories of the Age of the Elves… of Ada, you, Celeborn and Gil-Galad. He was my friend and I… I let him die because I was too ashamed to tell Ada or Celeborn what had happened. If I had, …” She looked down too upset to meet Elrond’s eyes.
Leaning over despite the pain it caused, Elrond lifted her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “You have kept this pain inside yourself too long, pen vuil. You need to talk about what happened so that you can begin to heal this wound. I will listen if you wish and I will not judge you for you did nothing for which you should be judged. But, I cannot help if I do not know all the facts. Will you trust me, pen vuil?” (dear one)
Lost in the silver light of his eyes, the light her unconscious mind had been seeking, she nodded her head. The actual words were, however, harder to find.
*****
“It happened almost forty years ago. Ermehtar had been drinking that night at dinner… heavily I now know. There was a diplomatic delegation from Gondor visiting, so I went for a walk after Ada and the others escorted them to his study to discuss trade. I was alone as I often was while the others were occupied by their duties. He must have followed me into the gardens.”
“I remember he had been rather loud and unusually aggressive at dinner. Ermehtar had been sitting with several of the Gondorian warriors and Celeborn had felt the need to call him aside to request he behave more appropriately.” A far away look came to her eyes as her mind allowed the carefully constructed walls around the memory to fall.
“Apparently, his behavior had made Roitar uneasy as he was trailing him from a discrete distance after he saw him leave the dining hall after me. Ermehtar followed me into the small enclosed rose garden near the path to the upper terraces. Nobody was around and it was starting to get dark. I should have had more care than to be out so late in an isolated area.” Self reproach clearly marked the tone of her voice.
Seeing her hesitate, Elrond reached over and took her other hand in his. Giving them both a comforting squeeze, he remained silent so as not to distract her from her story; his eyes urged her to continue. “I did not hear him slip up behind me. Suddenly, he spun me around and pinned me to the trunk of a large oak near the back of the garden. I let out a small scream, but started to laugh when I saw who it was. I thought he was playing a joke on me as he often did.”
“So it came as a shock when he started kissing me, telling me I was going to be his… I was so scared and tried to push him away! He got mad and drew back his hand and… he slapped me. He told me I was his and I had better accept that fact. That he would hate to hurt me or perhaps my father if I fought him further…” Fresh tears slipped down her cheeks as the terror of the moment reclaimed her.
“He started kissing me again and it hurt … his teeth tore my lips he was so rough. I was struggling, but he was so strong… he had me pinned to the tree trunk. He grabbed my arms and threw me to the ground. I hit my head on the exposed root of the tree… I was dazed… and so scared!” Her breath came in labored pants as she continued.
“Ermehtar dropped down on top of me and was tearing my dress away when Roitar arrived. Roitar was so mad! He hit Ermehtar over the back of his head with the hilt of his sword and kicked him off of me.” Frantic eyes met his as she tried to convey the horror of the scene.
“We both knew what Ermehtar’s intent had been. I do not think he would have stopped or that I could have found an advantage to free myself from him before he could…. Thankfully, I did not have to find out as Roitar saved me.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper.
“Roitar wanted to take me to the healers, but I was too upset and ashamed to let him. I guess I was in shock. Roitar told me later he thought I was dazed and not thinking clearly. He walked me back to my rooms once I had stopped crying and told me to come to him if I needed to talk. He promised to let me decide what to do… either way he would support me.” Tears fell in a steady stream from her eyes.
“Ermehtar came to see me early the next morning full of apologies and contrition for drinking too much so that he lost control of himself. He begged me not to tell anyone else and promised to stay away from me.” Her eyes begged him to understand. “He had been my friend, almost a brother to me all my life. I wanted to believe him… so I agreed.”
Sighing, she admitted, “I caught him watching me many times over the past forty years… and it always made me feel uneasy, but he kept his word and stayed away unless I was with someone else. I knew he still wanted me as I saw the… lust in his eyes. I saw him in the gardens near the balcony of my rooms several times… but he never made any direct moves to advance his suit, though Ada unknowingly kept championing a match between us. Ada will feel so guilty if…”
“I think he liked matching me against the strongest of his trainees… the twins… Glorfindel… hoping to see me fail, maybe even see me hurt but I ignored this as I did not want that to be the case. I look back on it now and it was clear he was stalking me like a hunter after his prey all that time, but I did not want to face that fact. If I had…” Her voice broke and she stopped her narrative to regain some measure of control over her tattered emotions.
“Roitar never trusted him again and I do not think he approved of my decision, though he respected it. I think he always regretted not taking me to Ada immediately as the delay gave Ermehtar time to apologize. He came to see me after breakfast the next morning… but by then, I had already agreed to keep my silence. Roitar wanted to go to my father himself, but he had made me a promise to let me decide what to do.” She pulled her hands from his and buried her face in them as her tears turned to sobs.
“He was my friend… and I let him down by not telling anyone. Now he is dead by Ermehtar’s hand. I keep wondering if he planned it all that night… to remove two threats that could have exposed him and a third that was an obstacle to his gaining Lorien.” Her words halted abruptly as they heard Erestor and Azeriel talking as they approached her room.
Knowing she was not yet ready to tell her father, he squeezed her hand gently before he spoke. “It has been a difficult week for us all. Rest and recover for now. All will be well, pen vuil.”
As the door opened, he whispered “We will talk more about this later, but you are not to blame for what happened. I mean that, Lirimaer, so relax and get better.” (lovely one)
Turning to greet Azeriel, he offered an explanation for Seere’s tears. “Ah, good you have arrived. I have been unable to comfort Seere as she is still grieving for our friend Roitar and for Ermehtar’s betrayal. Perhaps you can prescribe something to help her relax?”
“Seere, you must not make yourself worse by grieving so, sellath nîn. You must relax and recover. Roitar would not want you making yourself worse mourning for him. He was your protector and friend. Honor his memory by living well as he would have wanted, pen vuil.” Erestor once again took his daughter into his arms and let her cry against his chest. (my daughter) (dear one)
Elrond moved back to the chaise to give them some privacy as leaving the room was still beyond his ability.
*****
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, Glorfindel/Haldir, Elladan/OFC, Elrohir/Legolas, others implied
Rating:.NC-17 for future chapters
Warning: AU (Story set 770 years after ROTK); Slash and het.
Feedback: This is my first fanfic, so constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive:
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Alex Cat for her help in betaing this fic. Thanks also to Lady Victoria for her comments and support.
Disclaimer: Any of the residents of Middle-earth and Aman that you recognize belong to Prof. Tolkien’s estate. The same is true about Middle-earth and Aman. I’m only visiting and admiring the “views”.
Summary: Sauron may be gone, but his legacy of evil still lingers. As Middle-earth faces the threat of another dark lord, a party of elves departs Aman on a mission for the Valar, a mission of mercy long delayed.
Chapter 25 --- Echoes
“Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden.
My words echo
Thus, in your mind”.
T.S. Elliott
*****
“Seere! You are awake! Praise the Valar!” a much relieved Erestor exclaimed.
“She is awake?” Elrond’s silver gray eyes had cleared of sleep instantly upon hearing Erestor’s joyous greeting to his daughter.
“Aye! Aye, she is, tinechor toror'! Seere, I… we have been so worried. Please speak to me again so I know you are truly awake, pen vuil,” he requested. (shield brother)
“Oh, Ada. I am so sorry to have added this grief to you. I am indeed awake and I will recover. Do not worry! I could not bear to add more pain to your fëa.” Seere whispered, her voice rough from lack of use. She gave her father’s hand a weak squeeze to reinforce her words.
Relieved beyond words, he drew his daughter into his arms and let the tears he had been fighting since he had first seen her lying unconscious in the bed of the Healing House fall freely. His Seere was not lost; she had returned to him!
*****
Several minutes passed before he regained control of his emotions and could bear to let her go from his arms. Knowing she was still quite weak and her injures had yet to fully heal, Erestor gently settled her back against the pillows. Loving fingers once again wiped tears from his daughter’s face and he sat smiling down at the light of his life. “You scared me, pen vuil. I could not have borne losing you too. I give thanks to the Valar that you are yet again with us.”
Fresh tears began to trickle down her face at his words. “Ada, I am so sorry to have worried you so. I love you so much, Ada!”
“I know you do. And stop apologizing. It was not your fault, nor was it Elrond’s that you were hurt and needed time to heal. I care only that you are awake again!” he assured her. “Would you like some water to ease your throat?”
Seeing her nod, he reached over and poured her a glass from the pitcher sitting at her bedside table. Sliding his arm behind her shoulders, he eased her into a sitting position before raising the glass to her lips. “Here, melme, let me help you. Small sips…” (love)
Looking to his friend, he asked “Would you mind keeping her company for me while I go find Azeriel? As she has been caring for Seere, I think she needs to see her and make sure all is well.”
“Of course, meldir. She will be fine once she has had time to recover, but it would be best to let Azeriel confirm this,” Elrond replied, his voice pitched low to help sooth the battered spirits of his companions. (friend)
*****
As the door closed behind her father, the fears that had plagued her dreams returned. /Does Elrond truly know? Now that I am no longer dreaming, he will not forgive me for my poor judgment./
Risking a discrete glace at him under the veil of her lashes, she was surprised to see the tender smile gracing Elrond’s features. His gentle voice startled her into staring into his eyes. “I do not blame you, pen vuil. You gave someone who you had thought was a friend the benefit of the doubt and tried to spare your family, especially your father, from further pain. I also expect you were embarrassed and ashamed of what happened, though you have no reason to be.” (dear one)
Seeing the pain and shame that clouded her eyes, Elrond eased himself forward on the chaise so he could shift his position to sit beside her on the bed. Taking one of her trembling hands in his, he took as deep a breath as his damaged ribs would allow before he continued. “You have no reason to be ashamed or to feel guilty, Seere. You were betrayed by someone you should have been able to trust without reservation. He hurt and abused you in a profound manner and I have no forgiveness to offer him. I grieve with you for the loss of your champion, Roitar.”
“I knew Roitar for many millennia and valued his friendship. He could have been the captain of the guard when Glorfindel sailed west, but deferred to Ermehtar in a selfless and generous act.” Sighing, he added “We were greatly in his debt and never knew it, but I will sing his praises to the Valar and to Eru this night. He saved your life, as well as, your father’s for I have no doubt you would have faded along with Erestor if Ermehtar had succeeded in forcing you.”
Hearing his reassurance, Seere began to speak in a low, strained voice. “He sat with me for a long time after he came to my aid. He let me cry, let me talk, and he never tried to force me to tell what Ermehtar had done unless… until I ready to do so.”
Tears choked her voice as she went on “He taught me to ride a horse like a warrior, thought the twins think they did. I loved to watch him train the troops. Roitar told me stories of the Age of the Elves… of Ada, you, Celeborn and Gil-Galad. He was my friend and I… I let him die because I was too ashamed to tell Ada or Celeborn what had happened. If I had, …” She looked down too upset to meet Elrond’s eyes.
Leaning over despite the pain it caused, Elrond lifted her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “You have kept this pain inside yourself too long, pen vuil. You need to talk about what happened so that you can begin to heal this wound. I will listen if you wish and I will not judge you for you did nothing for which you should be judged. But, I cannot help if I do not know all the facts. Will you trust me, pen vuil?” (dear one)
Lost in the silver light of his eyes, the light her unconscious mind had been seeking, she nodded her head. The actual words were, however, harder to find.
*****
“It happened almost forty years ago. Ermehtar had been drinking that night at dinner… heavily I now know. There was a diplomatic delegation from Gondor visiting, so I went for a walk after Ada and the others escorted them to his study to discuss trade. I was alone as I often was while the others were occupied by their duties. He must have followed me into the gardens.”
“I remember he had been rather loud and unusually aggressive at dinner. Ermehtar had been sitting with several of the Gondorian warriors and Celeborn had felt the need to call him aside to request he behave more appropriately.” A far away look came to her eyes as her mind allowed the carefully constructed walls around the memory to fall.
“Apparently, his behavior had made Roitar uneasy as he was trailing him from a discrete distance after he saw him leave the dining hall after me. Ermehtar followed me into the small enclosed rose garden near the path to the upper terraces. Nobody was around and it was starting to get dark. I should have had more care than to be out so late in an isolated area.” Self reproach clearly marked the tone of her voice.
Seeing her hesitate, Elrond reached over and took her other hand in his. Giving them both a comforting squeeze, he remained silent so as not to distract her from her story; his eyes urged her to continue. “I did not hear him slip up behind me. Suddenly, he spun me around and pinned me to the trunk of a large oak near the back of the garden. I let out a small scream, but started to laugh when I saw who it was. I thought he was playing a joke on me as he often did.”
“So it came as a shock when he started kissing me, telling me I was going to be his… I was so scared and tried to push him away! He got mad and drew back his hand and… he slapped me. He told me I was his and I had better accept that fact. That he would hate to hurt me or perhaps my father if I fought him further…” Fresh tears slipped down her cheeks as the terror of the moment reclaimed her.
“He started kissing me again and it hurt … his teeth tore my lips he was so rough. I was struggling, but he was so strong… he had me pinned to the tree trunk. He grabbed my arms and threw me to the ground. I hit my head on the exposed root of the tree… I was dazed… and so scared!” Her breath came in labored pants as she continued.
“Ermehtar dropped down on top of me and was tearing my dress away when Roitar arrived. Roitar was so mad! He hit Ermehtar over the back of his head with the hilt of his sword and kicked him off of me.” Frantic eyes met his as she tried to convey the horror of the scene.
“We both knew what Ermehtar’s intent had been. I do not think he would have stopped or that I could have found an advantage to free myself from him before he could…. Thankfully, I did not have to find out as Roitar saved me.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper.
“Roitar wanted to take me to the healers, but I was too upset and ashamed to let him. I guess I was in shock. Roitar told me later he thought I was dazed and not thinking clearly. He walked me back to my rooms once I had stopped crying and told me to come to him if I needed to talk. He promised to let me decide what to do… either way he would support me.” Tears fell in a steady stream from her eyes.
“Ermehtar came to see me early the next morning full of apologies and contrition for drinking too much so that he lost control of himself. He begged me not to tell anyone else and promised to stay away from me.” Her eyes begged him to understand. “He had been my friend, almost a brother to me all my life. I wanted to believe him… so I agreed.”
Sighing, she admitted, “I caught him watching me many times over the past forty years… and it always made me feel uneasy, but he kept his word and stayed away unless I was with someone else. I knew he still wanted me as I saw the… lust in his eyes. I saw him in the gardens near the balcony of my rooms several times… but he never made any direct moves to advance his suit, though Ada unknowingly kept championing a match between us. Ada will feel so guilty if…”
“I think he liked matching me against the strongest of his trainees… the twins… Glorfindel… hoping to see me fail, maybe even see me hurt but I ignored this as I did not want that to be the case. I look back on it now and it was clear he was stalking me like a hunter after his prey all that time, but I did not want to face that fact. If I had…” Her voice broke and she stopped her narrative to regain some measure of control over her tattered emotions.
“Roitar never trusted him again and I do not think he approved of my decision, though he respected it. I think he always regretted not taking me to Ada immediately as the delay gave Ermehtar time to apologize. He came to see me after breakfast the next morning… but by then, I had already agreed to keep my silence. Roitar wanted to go to my father himself, but he had made me a promise to let me decide what to do.” She pulled her hands from his and buried her face in them as her tears turned to sobs.
“He was my friend… and I let him down by not telling anyone. Now he is dead by Ermehtar’s hand. I keep wondering if he planned it all that night… to remove two threats that could have exposed him and a third that was an obstacle to his gaining Lorien.” Her words halted abruptly as they heard Erestor and Azeriel talking as they approached her room.
Knowing she was not yet ready to tell her father, he squeezed her hand gently before he spoke. “It has been a difficult week for us all. Rest and recover for now. All will be well, pen vuil.”
As the door opened, he whispered “We will talk more about this later, but you are not to blame for what happened. I mean that, Lirimaer, so relax and get better.” (lovely one)
Turning to greet Azeriel, he offered an explanation for Seere’s tears. “Ah, good you have arrived. I have been unable to comfort Seere as she is still grieving for our friend Roitar and for Ermehtar’s betrayal. Perhaps you can prescribe something to help her relax?”
“Seere, you must not make yourself worse by grieving so, sellath nîn. You must relax and recover. Roitar would not want you making yourself worse mourning for him. He was your protector and friend. Honor his memory by living well as he would have wanted, pen vuil.” Erestor once again took his daughter into his arms and let her cry against his chest. (my daughter) (dear one)
Elrond moved back to the chaise to give them some privacy as leaving the room was still beyond his ability.
*****