In the Garden

Title: In the Garden, Chapter 24 (betaed)
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, others implied
Rating: R
Warning: AU (Story set several hundred years after ROTK in Aman); Het.
Feedback: Constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: AFF; FF
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Lady Victoria for betaing this fic.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Prof. Tolkien. A quick check of my bank account should prove I’m not making anything off of writing my stories. Sigh!
Summary: Life in the Blessed Land has not been so blessed for Elrond. Can the happiness that has long eluded him be found in the words of a red-bound journal, the help of his scheming friends, and the granting of a wish that none thought possible?

Chapter 24 --- New Perspectives

“Where is Ada?”

Glancing up, Gildor smiled in greeting to the older of the peredhil twins. “The Lady made him rest. He is in the next room sleeping. He used too much of his healing energy and was drained to the point Lady Melian had to drag him away.”

“Aye, that sounds right. Ada has always been thus about healing any that come into his care. Lindir and Erestor often had to drag he away from the healing house at home to make he rest. Valar forbid it was one of his family! They had to get the rest of the family to help pull him away then!” he chuckled, the memory obviously a one dear to him.

Tilting his head to study Elladan, the elder elf asked, “You still think of Imladris as your home too? I thought Silael and I were the only ones.”

“Nay, we all do. I still miss Imladris and have never felt completely at home in Aman.” Sighing, he advanced into the room and bent to kiss the sleeping elleth’s cheek. “How is she today?”

“The same. The Lady has decided to leave her in this healing sleep until matters with my family have been sorted out… as much as we can hope to sort out such a mess.” Leaning back to rest his head against the back of his chair, the Noldor let the weight of his grief settle around him. “I cannot comprehend how Los could do what she did. She had the ability to warn her child… save her from the misery she subsequently endured. I know how obsessed she is about avoiding unwanted attention, but… how can a mother betray her child so?”

“I too am at a loss.” Pulling up the chair his father had occupied, Elladan took a seat across from him. After studying the dejected slump to the elf lord’s shoulders and the dull, flat expression to his eyes, he asked, “How are you? This has been a blow to you, as well. Lady Elulos is your twin. I know how close a connection twins share.”

“I have been thinking about that a lot of late. Sadly, Los and I have lost much of the bond we shared in our youth. My being able to read her thoughts last night was only due to her emotional state of mind, not our bond,” he mused. “Los has been angry for so long… desperate for security, but I never thought she was capable of such reckless disregard for one of her family.”

Hesitating to bring up a painful topic, Elladan silently debated whether to ask his next question. Seeing his friend’s inquiring look, he finally asked, “Why is she so angry and obsessed with controlling her family? In most respects, she has had a safe and secure life… at least as far as I could tell from my visits to Lorien.”

Sighing, Gildor agreed. “You are right in that, but Los would not see it. She still clings to her insecurities from our childhood and blames our Adar for not marrying our mother. Naneth hoped to marry a king, so she coaxed admissions from him that he desired children… enough to permit our conception it would seem. I sincerely doubt he meant ‘then and with her’ for he still loved Amarië.”

Reaching up to rub a weary hand over his eyes, he continued. “We were several years old when he returned from one of his long trips and found he had sired us. Naneth had faded in shame the year before, unwilling to survive for our sake alone. What could he do then… she was dead? He did his best to be our father. He never denied us or tried to send us away. We were raised as his children, with all the privileges and duties that came with it, save for the fact I could not inherit his crown. I love him dearly, never doubted his love for us, and mourned his death bitterly. Los did too, but she felt he had not taken enough care in securing our place.”

“In any case, Los felt I abandoned her when I decided to go out into the world to find my way. I had duties to perform and I was determined to be a faithful son to my father’s memory. Our bond slowly began to erode in the centuries that followed.” His eyes misted over with ancient memories. “Turgon had been our father’s friend since their youth in Valinor, so I took her to live under his protection. She escaped Gondolin when it fell, in the company of Indril and Tuor. Rather than stay in the Havens, she went to live with Cirdan and became part of Ereinion’s court. She even helped Lindir teach your father and uncle music… though her gift is not as great as theirs or Meril’s.”

“I suspect she felt she did not really belong there. She did not seem content with her lot in life until she met and married Cúron. He adored her and gave into her every whim. That eventually became the way of their life together. His appointment as the chief counselor to Aunt Galadriel and Uncle Celeborn was her crowning moment… she was the chief counselor’s wife and lady-in-waiting for our aunt, her position secure.” Sighing, he admitted, “I have always suspected she had children to complete the expectations she felt went with having a ‘proper family’. Otherwise, I think she would have been happier to have Cúron to herself and not have to share him with anyone.”

Glancing over at his companion, he concluded, “Los and I are very different. She never understood how I could tramp across Middle-earth or why Silael willingly came with me. I had a place, after all, as an advisor to your father in Imladris… a comfortable home, standing… security. What more could I have wanted?”

“I take it she never understood the importance of the work you did for us all? Ada credits you with much of our success against Sauron, for the information you gathered was vital to our cause. Tis sad she does not value such a thing,” he observed.

“What is sad is how she has held onto childhood hurts and let them mar the present… damage her children. Min and Sael are very like her and our own mother and are easy for her to control.” A frown settled on his handsome face, as he shifted through his memories of visits to Lorien. “I do not think she understands Meril. Meril is a fascinating mix of several people… Ada, myself, Galadriel, Cirdan… Cúron. She has very little in common with Los.”

“Forgive me if I am wrong in this, but… Elrohir and I often noted that her mother seemed to look for excuses to take Meril to task… usually over the most trivial of offenses. In recent years, we have come to regret how little we did to defend her or help her… especially in the years after we learned of Haldir’s affair with Nana.” Staring at his hands, he admitted, “We both have seen the changes to her personality over the centuries. We feel we have not been very good friends to her.”

A bitter laugh greeted his words. “Well I understand such feelings. Silael and I have come to similar conclusions. Over the years, my twin and I have had numerous arguments about the way she treated Meril, but I never did more. Los was always harder on her than her twin or brother. She favored Minuial and Sael and made no secret of it. I suspect, this led Min to believe she had the right to take her sister’s betrothed… that she deserved anything she wanted regardless of the cost… rather like our mother. My younger niece is very spoiled, as you likely know.”

“Aye. Marriage seems to have been good for her. She seemed genuinely contrite over what she did… not that it changes anything,” Elladan observed. “Sael never struck me as spoiled so much as weak. He let his mother rule him… but I would say I have long held the same opinion of Cúron. It always surprised me that my grandparents placed such stock in his advice.”

“Again, I confess I share you opinion. He let his love for Los blind him to all else. I lost the last of my respect for him when I learned he stayed at home and sent Sael to tell Meril of Haldir’s betrayal. A father owes his child better.” Reaching out, Gildor lifted her hand and gave it a loving squeeze. “When she wakes, I will restate our offer for her to come and live with Silael and myself. She will need a stable, loving home until she and El… We will help her find her way.”

Elladan smiled at the near slip of the tongue. While his father had all but declared his love for Meril in the past few days, his constant presence at her bedside a near shout of admission, their relationship had progressed as far as it could for now. It relieved his mind to hear Gildor’s declaration. /She will need all of our support to recover from this blow. I am glad she has a home to go to until Ada can bring her to live with us./

-----

The tension in the talan had stretched to near breaking. Cúron stood leaning against the archway that led onto the porch surrounding the small structure, his back turned to the rest of his family. He had fallen into a moody silence since the scene in the glade the night before. Anger such as he had never known warred with guilt over his own failures, the combination keeping him silent. He feared what he would say once he started to speak, the seal broken on the long-standing resentment and anger he had kept bottled deep within his spirit for countless centuries.

A small hand came to rest on his arm. “Ada. I do not expect you to forgive me for what I did, but… one of us needs to be with Meril. I wish I could go… but I very much doubt she will want to see me or Sael.”

Biting back the sharp reply that quivered on the tip of his tongue, he nodded his head and stepped out onto the porch intent upon leaving them behind as much as going to Meril. His wife’s voice stopped him in is tracks.

“Cúron… that can wait. We need to discuss how we are to handle this mess. It is something of a blessing that Meril is unconscious so that we can all agree on what we must say next. I propose we refuse to enter into a debate and simply insist that we will take her home to care for her. The Lady did say we were free to leave. Once we are home, we can put this business behind us. I cannot believe Meril would betray her family like this, but we will deal with that once we are home.”

“Put this business behind us? Meril betrayed us? Have you lost whatever small amount of maternal caring you ever possessed? I begin to realize… I have never known you, have I, Elulos? I have been a blind fool for millennia and our lives are in shambles because of this.” Turning to face his wife, his eyes blazing with hurt and anger, he proclaimed, “Well, no more. Meril needs me to be there for her. I have failed her for the last time. Minuial needs to face what she has done and hope for the best. Sael must assert himself and stop letting you rule his life. And, I must decide how I plan to live the rest of mine, for I am unwilling to continue in this sham of a marriage any longer.”

“Sham? How can you say…”

“I say it with my eyes fully open for the first time since we met. We have not had a marriage, a partnership. We have had your wants and desires… Los’s concerns… Los’s rules. Me, our children… we never factored into your plans except as they suited you!” His voice grew quieter as his anger broke free. “You hid the conduct of one child from me, lied to me about what our son knew, and would have let Meril marry Haldir knowing what type of elf he really was! All these years, I have listened as you lamented HER bad choices… HER mistakes… the shame SHE had brought to our family with the scandal, and now I find you had the knowledge to have saved her from that!”

Advancing into the room, Cúron loomed over his shocked wife. “As for taking Meril home… we have no home! We have a cave you have fashioned in the trees of Valimar! MY daughter will remain here and receive whatever care she needs to recover. While I know it is far too late, I will be there at her side and lend her my full support and love. There is nothing else for us to discuss!”

Spinning on his heels, the incensed elf stormed out of the talan. The painful silence lingered long after he had left. None rose to comfort the crumpled elleth weeping on the floor of the talan. Guilt, blame, hurt robbed them of the strength to speak.

Unable to stand the tension any longer, Minuial pulled out of her husband’s arms and ran from the room, quickly descending to the forest floor as tears blinded her sight. Poised to flee into the woods, a gentle hand reached out to grasp her arm, halting her flight. Failing to wrench her arm free, she raised frantic eyes to find the stern gaze of her uncle fixed on hers.

The ancient eyes of the Teleri had seen much in his long millennia of life, but he had never thought to see his family brought to this low ebb. “It is time to stop running, Min. You must face what you did if you are to heal… if your twin is to heal.”

-----

“She is in a deep healing sleep, so you can approach without worrying you will upset her further.”

Startled, the elf turned to find he had been joined by his old friend in the doorway of Meril’s room. “Erestor. I would say it is good to see you, old friend, but these circumstances leave much to be desired.”

“Indeed. Take heart; she will find comfort in you company,” the dark-haired elf proposed. “She speaks with great affection for you.”

“But not her mother I would wager?” Sighing, Cúron looked back to his daughter. “I have been a fool, Erestor. I let Los convince me of things I would never have allowed in my duties as advisor. I cannot blame her alone, for I knew in my heart we were not treating Meril as we should. I had hoped it was the normal things parents worry about; that does not seem to have been the case. I served my lord and lady better than I did my own child… children.”

Laying a hand his friend’s shoulder, Erestor confessed, “I am glad to hear you say it thusly, for your other two children will need your love and counsel too... perhaps more than Meril. Meril will have many to support her, but her twin may feel she is alone. Your son made bad choices, but I do not think he did them for selfish reasons, rather to protect his sisters. I am also glad to hear you accept your part in this. That gives me great hope.”

Nodding, Cúron moved into the room to stand beside the bed. Taking Meril’s hand in his, he bent to kiss her forehead. “Does she know we are here? If I speak to her, will it comfort her?”

“The Lady Estë has told us she is in a deep, dreamless sleep, but that she can sense that she is surrounded by those that love her. She may not hear words, but she will know you are near… know you love her.” Taking a seat on the other side of the bed, he added, “Her injures are nearly healed. Elrond sat with her for the first day and a half after her fall strengthening her with doses of his healing energy.”

Pulling a chair closer to the bed, the Teleri sat so that he could retain his hold on his daughter’s hand. “I must thank him when I see him. Is he about?”

Smiling, the Imladrian advisor pointed to the next room. “His Naneth’ra Melian insisted he rest after he had exhausted himself from his efforts. He is sleeping in the next room.”

“Melian? The Maia… the Queen of Doriath?”

“The same. You did know Lord Elrond is the descendent of the royal houses of the Sindar and Vanyar, as well as, the Noldor did you not? He could have claimed the throne of ancient Doriath, as well as, that of the Noldor had he tried, but he chose to remain Lord of Imladris. His linage is remarkable… Eldar, Maia, and Edain. There is not another like him in all of Arda, for all his sons take after him,” Erestor observed. “I am proud to have served him and to call him my brother.”

Glancing over at the other elf, the Teleri asked, “Why did he not accept the throne? I have long wondered about this. It would have freed him of the need to marry Celebrian to form a political alliance. They were clearly never in love.”

“Ah, you know that do you? I should not be surprised as you were Celeborn and Galadriel’s closest advisor at the time.” Pondering this point, Erestor took a moment before answering. “Elrond knew he would never be accepted as the High King for all Gil-Galad had named him his regent in the east and heir. Elrond is not pure-blooded Eldar. His mortal blood taints him in the eyes of many. He realized accepting the throne would cause more strife and discord than it would settle. Marrying Celebrian was the only option he had to unite our peoples. Odd, though he has done so much, he is still so maligned by many. Celebrian’s slander found a receptive audience in those that like to think ill of him.”

“I must confess we wondered at those stories, but my lord and lady were so adamant in their support of him, as were you and your brother.”

“While Elrond is not without fault, he is above all an honorable elf. In some respects, he is a truer elf than any of us… we were born of the Eldar, but he chose to be numbered among us! He has been faithful to his vows, even when Celebrian made a mockery of them,” he fumed. “I still have not found it within myself to forgive her for her behavior or her slander. I doubt I shall.”

“How can… Forgive me; I started to speak out of long habit, deferring my opinion to my wife’s. Los felt there was more to it than you are saying, but, then too, she would have been one of the elves that would never accept him as the high king. My wife is overly proud… and equally ashamed to be the daughter of Lord Finrod. She felt, had he done as he should and married their mother, that Gildor would have been the High King, not Gil-Galad.” Meeting his friend’s gaze, he added, “I am glad we had this talk, for I have judged him unfairly. It seems I have much to reconsider.”

Focusing again on his daughter, Cúron asked, “Why is she still in this deep sleep if her injures are nearly healed?”

A voice behind them spoke. “To shield her from the pain she will feel when she remembers what happened. My Lady wishes to have time to help your family come to terms with the secrets that threaten to tear it apart. To do this, Minuial and her brother need to be helped first. Meril has long suspected her twin may have betrayed her, but she was not ready to face this truth. Her spirit is reeling under the pain this caused her. Meril does not yet know about her mother’s involvement.”

Turning, the two elves found they had been joined by the Maiar, Melian and Olórin. “Cúron, you already know Mithrandir, so let me introduce the Lady Melian. My lady, may I present Lord Cúron, Meril’s father,” Erestor offered, rising to bow in greeting to the lady. “Meril still sleeps without any outward sign of distress. Her color has improved, though she is a little paler than when Elrond was giving her doses of healing energy.”

“That does not surprise me… his energy was boosting her own natural healing.” Walking to the bed, she laid her hand over the elleth’s still forehead. Blocking at all but Meril’s spirit, the Maia listened, hearing the muffled confusion beginning to draw the focus of her patient.

Frowning, she commented, “When Elrond wakes, he must eat first. Once he has restored his own reserves, he can resume giving her small doses of his energy, but he must refrain from draining himself as he did before. Small pulses scattered over many hours will help her continue to hold her confusion at bay. Thankfully, her broken bones have healed nicely. I will have an attendant begin physical therapy to ease the ache of the newly knitted bones.”

Looking over at Erestor, Melian instructed, “Olórin and I have come to collect Cúron and take him to our lady. She does not wish to wait any longer in dealing with this situation; therefore, we will begin with Minuial. If we can help her accept what she must do, Min will be better able to help Meril heal. Both will need our help. While we are gone, I would appreciate your keeping an eye on my stubborn grandson… he is very like my husband in case you had failed to notice. Please do not let him exhaust himself again.”

Smiling, he suggested, “Perhaps, your lord husband might join me in this effort? If not, I will send for my Ada and Ereinion. Other than Galadriel and Celeborn, he listens to none other save them.”

“I have every confidence in you, dear Erestor. Threaten him with a long discussion of budgets and accounts. That always worked for you in Imladris,” she teased. “That or remind him his mother will be checking in on him to see if he is behaving. The shock alone should keep him in check, as he is still getting used to having her back in his life.”

-----

The faint sound of movement and the enticing aroma of warm bread pulled him from the deep sleep into which he had fallen many hours earlier when his grandmother had forced him to quite his treatment of Meril. The memory of her injures and the devastating information she had learned drove the last of the lingering mists from before his eyes. Turning slightly, he found his oldest friend arranging a meal on a table under an open window.

“Lindir… how long have I been asleep? Is Meril still sleeping?”

Without looking his way, the Teleri, nodded his head as he began to pour apple juice into the glasses on the tray. “She is. Erestor spoke with Lady Melian earlier today and she has agreed to allow you to return to Meril’s side once you have eaten. You are under strict orders not to tire yourself again. You may give her small doses, spaced well apart, to help keep her attention from focusing on the confusion building just beyond the veils of her sleep, but no more. Her other injures have healed.”

Frowning, Elrond forced himself into an upright position on the bed. “I will be allowed? I am not used…”

“Nay, you are not used to having terms set on your behavior, but you are not in Imladris or in our house in Valimar. You are in the healing rooms of the Lady Estë and she sets the rules here. Your grandmother has her approval to send you back to the glade if you do not follow their instructions.” Grinning, Lindir turned to face the disgruntled peredhel, shoving a glass of the juice into his hands. “Ereinion is currently lamenting her absence from Lindon when you were an elfling. Our lives would have been far easier with her around. Now drink this juice as she has commanded. It will help restore your energy.”

“You have no idea how much I admire the job the two of you did in raising my boys! They were very like their Ada and my mother-in-law has told me horror stories of what she went through when he was young!”

Rising to embrace his mother, Elrond smothered a laugh. “I was not as bad as my sons… or Arwen, so he has no reason to complain!”

“You forget, I helped raise them too! Do not delude yourself in thinking they were worse… they were kittens compared to you and Elros! Perhaps one day, my lady, we can sit for a few… years and I will tell you horror stories of my own.” Lifting one of the glasses, he offered it to Ewing before taking the last one for himself. “Come and eat, ion. The Lady has sent you a hardy meal to help restore your strength. Once you eat it, you can go and check on Meril.” (son)

Tilting his head to study the elf before him, Elrond remarked, “I do not thank you often enough for the love and support you have ever offered me. While I adamantly deny Elros and I were as mischievous as the twins, you and Ereinion had remarkable patience with us and I dearly love you both.”

“As we love you, ion. Now eat.” Pulling up a chair for Ewing, Lindir offered, “One trait Elrond has ever had is his ability to show affection. For all the bad I can say of Maglor, he did do his best to care for your sons before returning them to us. I suspect that was in large part due to his inability to resist the hugs and gifts Elrond freely bestowed on anyone that he felt needed them.” (son)

“He was like that, as you know, from the cradle. Elros was always in motion… running about looking for new adventures or playing in the mud… Valar help me, that elfling loved playing in the mud!” she laughed. “He was in constant motion from the time he woke until he fell asleep at night… usually before he had finished his bath!”

“Elrond was always trailing after people as they worked around the house or came to visit… asking questions, crawling into laps to hear a story, trying to help with the chores he saw others performing… telling them how best to accomplish a task. He was so often right, most of the servants stopped treating his observations as amusing and started listening. And, he was only a toddler!” Smiling at the memory, she covered her son’s hand on the table. “If someone was having a bad day, he would find them a flower or a pretty rock… offer a hug, hoping to make them feel better. In retrospect, it now seems clear that their destinies were set from birth. Elros was a builder, driven by a desire to do and create… be in motion. Elrond had a passion for learning and nurturing… an elven healer, loremaster, leader in the making.”

Blushing, Elrond quickly changed the topic away from himself. “You could be describing my sons. Elladan reminds me of Elros in so many ways, though he inherited his Adar’ra Celeborn’s calm manner. Elrohir is very much like me in his manner and interests. I worried for many years that they would separate as Elros and I did. I would not have wished that for them… better, as I said before, they both chose to be mortal than to be parted as we were.”

Reaching over to pour tea for the three of them, he mused, “The bond between twins is strong… stronger than that between regular siblings. That is the part of this situation with Meril’s twin that baffles me. I thought Ránawen was lovely and highly desirable, but I knew Elros had fallen in love with her at first sight. That was enough to still any interest I might have had in pursuing her for myself. I know there were ellith both of my sons found attractive. If neither showed a strong desire for her, they would both back away rather than risk causing hurt to the other. I am sure Elladan found Himiel attractive for she is a lovely, sweet elleth, but he knew his twin loved her, so it would never have entered his heart to compete for her favor.”

“Minuial always seemed to be in the shadow of her twin… much like Elulos and Gildor. Gildor was the perfect spy because he seemed so jovial and open no one expected he had ulterior motives in seeking their company. Elulos hated large gatherings and shrank from calling attention to herself. Even when she played music with a group, she never wanted to play pieces that would require her to perform a solo or where her contribution led the performance.” Adding honey to his tea, Lindir considered, “When I auditioned Meril and Minuial for a place in one of my classes, I remember thinking Min was very like her mother… a fine musician but no flare. Meril was breathtaking to hear.”

“What else can you tell me about Minuial? Meril has not talked about her much in my hearing… which speaks volumes now that I think of it. I spoke of Elros many times to her… told stories of him in the park while she was there.” Sighing, he pushed his heavy flow of black hair away from his face in frustration. “I should have noticed this earlier.”

“Elrond… you have not known Meril all that long, so do not take the blame for not noticing something you had no way of seeing.” Trading a look with Elwing, Lindir decided to confront an issue with his friend before it created problems. “I need to suggest something, if I may?”

Still culling though his memory for missed hints of Meril’s concern about her twin, he absently nodded his head. /I should have seen this earlier, though the Lady and Lord surely knew, having seen her dreams. Naneth’ra has said several times…/

Breaking into his musing, Lindir demanded his attention. “Elrond, this is serious, so please listen. While our family is quite happy with your growing feelings for Meril, her family is not likely to be. You are still married to Celebrian and Elulos apparently was ready to believe some of her slurs to your character as fact. Erestor spoke with Cúron while you slept and was disappointed to find this the case. Though Cúron appears to be reevaluating all of his opinions, having come to understand how many of them were his wife’s not his, you do not need to complicate matters by calling their attention to your feelings for Meril. Let that be a problem for another day once this is behind us and you have been to the Valar.”

“Lindir speaks wisely, ion,” Elwing added. “The time when such restraint will no longer be needed is fast approaching… we all feel it, but until then, do not make this situation more difficult for Meril or for yourself. You have a future to think about and you do not want to mar it with unnecessary gossip. We know your relationship has been entirely respectable, but they do not. Her naneth has shown no remorse about allowing Meril to suffer while protecting her other children. Give her no opening here.” (son)

Stunned silver eyes moved back and forth between the worried eyes of his mother and his mentor. “I had not considered this. Yes, you are right. I would never do anything to bring harm to Meril or my family. You have all suffered more than enough from gossip for me to invite more upon us.”

Catching his hand, Ewing soothed, “We are not suggesting you abandon her side… just be less obvious of your love for her than you have been in the last few days. We may need to whisper this same warning to Meril at some point, for she is no better at covering her feelings for you. This too shall pass, ion, and I feel, with all my heart, you will soon be together for the rest of eternity and beyond.” (son)

-----

A dejected figure slowly slipped out of a side entrance of the healing pavilion into a small garden. /I need to think about this news. Elrond loves Meril. Does she love him in return? That seems to be the case from his mother’s comments, though they have apparently done nothing to declare themselves… cannot declare themselves. They mentioned he will go to the Valar… I need to consider what all of this means./

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A/N – Thanks Anne! While Meril has a lot to plow through, at least she’s not alone! I have a good feeling about it all! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

A/N – I’ll keep the Kleenex handy for you, MarzBar! Hopefully, we won’t need them as much from here on out! Thanks for all your support! More soon!