Fated to Love

Title: Fated to Love
Author: Haldirsbaby


Chapter 21: Apologies

Cassie's POV

That night Cassie laid in bed looking up at the ceiling, thinking on the events that happened on the training fields. Haldir was not being reasonable. She loved him and he her, this was evident. Why he was being so stubborn? She did not know. She laid there thinking as the tears fell. Truth was she wanted to bind with him, but only wanted to have time to adjust and make a life for herself. Her tears fell like a waterfall. She could not ease her own pain. Maybe it would not be so bad to bind so soon? she thought. After all, how bad would it be to be married and learn what she needed at the same time? She loved the arrogant March warden and knew that he would be willing to help her.

She turned on her side to look out at the window. The curtains were drawn so that there was only a crack in them. The moonlight filtered into the room creating a small beam of light. She sniffed again and wiped away the tears. Her heart was in turmoil. So much had happened in just a short time. It was just a little over a month ago she had arrived on the causeway of Helm's Deep. Then to be injured saving her favorite elf from Tolkien's books. God this was all too much. She had begun the task of learning some things while she was still in Rivendell. But her attraction and the pull to Haldir was stronger than when she first arrived all those weeks ago.

Haldir had never left her, even when he left her to come back to fight here. Her heart was his and his was hers. She knew that he would never harm her and that he would be glad to help her adjust to her knew life. She found at this time that the urge to seek him out and tell him she would bind herself to him so strong.

She did not know of the custom of elves in their courting ritual. Well not much was known. Tolkien said it was like a year of courting before the binding took place. This was all she knew. She made up her mind just then to seek Haldir out and talk with him. She was still sniffling back the remaining tears. She heard someone softly pad their way into her room. She heard them say softly, “Cassie?” It was Haldir. She covered her face so he would not see her tears. She felt his hands touch her wrists and slowly pulled them from her face.

Haldir's POV

Haldir neared his talan hoping to find Cassie awake. He had been spending time with Glorfindel, his brothers, and Lady Arwen. The four had spoken to Haldir and helped him to see where Cassie was coming from. He had begun to see a little when she approached him on the training field and still was holding himself to the idea of seeking her out and talking with her. But the four helped him to see it further.

Opening the door to the talan, he looked around and found a candle burning on the table in the dining area. It lit the whole room and made it glow all over. He saw no immediate sign of Cassie. He walked throughout the talan from room to room. She was nowhere. One room he had not thought to look was her chamber. He walked to the door and placed his hand on the knob. He pressed his ear to the door to hear if there were any sounds from within. He heard her; a low quiet sniffling sound. His heart broke that she was crying. A wave if concern hit his soul. He grabbed the door knob and slowly turned it. The door opened and he stepped in quietly.

He spoke quietly into the dark. “Cassie?” he said.

No response. Her sniffling continued. Her back was turned from him. She faced the window while lying in bed. The moonlight filtered into the room. He walked around the bed to see her face; her hands covered her face. He walked closer and came to kneel beside the bed. He reached up with his hands and gently began to pull her hands away from her face.

He looked down at her. Her face was covered with wet streaks. She looked up at him and said nothing. “Cassie. Talk to me, sweetheart,” he gently coaxed.

She blinked as if she were dreaming. “Haldir?” she whispered.

“Yes, my love, it is me. Why do you cry?” he said sitting beside her, as her pushed the hair from her face. The hair stuck to the tear stains.

“My heart hurts,” she said simply. A low sob sounded and it broke his heart.

“Mine too. I came here to see how you were. Can we talk?” he asked in a whisper.

Cassie sat up and looked up at him. In the moonlight Haldir saw a fresh set of tears forming in her eyes. He reached out and placed his hands on her waist and pulled her up to sit on his lap to hold her tightly. Cassie pulled at his tunic and then buried her face in his chest.

“Yes, I want to so much. Haldir, I am sorry,” she said quietly.

“For what, lirimaer? It is I that should apologize; I do not know what came over me. Forgive me for not understanding you,” he said stroking her long dark hair. He kissed the top of her head. “I just love you so much, that I forgot what all you have been through. All I want is for you to be happy.”

She held onto him closer. She looked up at him. “I love you, too, all I wanted was to have a little time. I hurt you and I realize that. I know elves feel things more deeply and faster than humans. This was something I had to learn. It is all so new to me,” she said as she touched his face. “My March warden, so gallant and so protective. I should not have been so hasty to deny you.”

Haldir looked down at her with all the love that was in him and smiled. “Cassie, do you not realize that I would not have rushed it. Elven custom states that a betrothal is to last at least a year. I would have courted you properly,” he said simply.

“A year? Well I cannot wait a year for you to be bound to me. Maybe a month or two but not past that.” She looked up into his face for a reaction. Haldir just looked at her as if he did not get it.

Then it donned on him. He perked up and looked down at her with a raised brow. “Did you just say what I thought you said?” he asked.

She smiled up at him. “Yes Haldir, I will bind myself to you. I want that more than anything.”

Haldir could not believe his ears. He looked down at her stunned at first then his expression changed to pure joy. “Really Cassie?” he said softly.

Cassie did not have a chance to respond. He crushed his lips to hers. The kiss was demanding almost as if his life depended on it. She felt his joy in that kiss. His lips danced across hers with such urgency almost as if he tried to keep her from backing out. She slowly snaked her arms around his neck and buried her hands in his soft silky hair. His tongue skimmed her bottom lip begging for entrance. She granted it. A passion rose between them at that moment and her heart raced faster. His lips left hers and made its way to a sweet spot just below her left ear. Cassie moaned with pure joy at the feeling of his lips on her like that. She whispered, “Haldir.”

This made him stop at that moment, his face so close that it fanned her wet face. The breath was gentle like a breeze and made her face feel cool. She looked at him with passion and love in her eyes. “My love. My fair, Cassie.” he whispered as he gently caressed her cheek.

“Haldir the only thing I ask is for a couple months. Can you give me that?” she asked looking him in the eyes.

His face softened to a small smile. “Aye, I can. Courting is what we shall do until you are ready. If you need help know that I and my brothers and others will help you learn our ways. I just cannot express what joy your acceptance has given me.” He kissed her lips lightly.

She reveled in the kisses and his arms being around her. All the days of silence and confusion faded away in this moment between them. Haldir broke away from her for a moment but still held on to her tightly.

“Cassie, tomorrow we shall begin our courtship. We shall speak of this further. Now you must rest. I will leave you to it.” He said trying to end their contact. Cassie pulled at his tunic harder.

“No, please do not leave me. For a long time, our confusion and heartache lasted long enough. I am tired of not having you near. Please stay,” she begged. Haldir shook his head.

“No Cassie, I cannot. To stay with you would be my undoing. I do not think I can handle being near you without showing you more attention.” Haldir said kissing her forehead.

“Please Haldir. I know you can restrain yourself from doing anything. Can us being in each other's company be enough for you?” she asked.

Haldir looked down at her. He was tired emotionally and physically. He relented. “I can try. I will have to tap into some of my stubbornness to do it,” he said.

Cassie smiled up at him. She just wanted him to be near her. She got off his lap long enough for him stand up. She settled back on the bed and pulled the covers around her midriff. Haldir began to take off his tunic. He stopped and looked at her intently.

“Cassie, are you sure about this?” he asked.

“Absolutely. I want nothing more than to have you near me. These last few days have been agony. Come on and get into bed," she said. She climbed up onto the bed further; she was on her knees and looked at him. He smiled at her. She was so beautiful in the moonlight. "In fact, if it makes you more comfortable, leave on your leggings. At least with those on, you are less likely to take them off." She smiled up at him innocently.

Haldir looked down at her. He smiled mischievously and cocked a curious brow. "Oh you think so? I can have them off in no time flat. Would you care for me to demonstrate?" he said. Cassie turned several shades of red.

Cassie looked up at him. Her expression shown with pure amusement. She put on a fake innocent look and said, "Haldir of Lorien how dare you speak to me in such a manner!" She stopped and looked up at him amused. She did not move her head only her eyes. She caught sight of the pillow that lay beside her. She moved her hand to pick it up. With lightning speed she threw it into Haldir's face. Haldir reached up and caught the pillow in a flash. His grin turned devilish.

Cassie saw this and her eyes went wide as he stalked toward the bed. She squealed in delight. Before she could grab the other and throw at him, he climbed onto the bed on all fours. He came to rest in front of her. His eyes laced with playfulness, she had never seen before. She giggled at to what he may do. He reached for her hips and brought her from sitting upright, to lying down. She covered her face for a moment. He had aroused her by straddling her and pinning her to the bed with his body.

He smiled wildly down at her, and then brought his face close to her ear. In a low seductive voice he said, "You know, Cassie. I do not tolerate being struck or hit in any manner. If you were one of my wardens, which you are not, I would have you punished for that." His tone sent shivers up and down her spine. She looked up at him.

"So tell me Haldir, what must I do to atone for what I just did?" she said in a seductive whisper.

Haldir looked down at her and then said, "Well, since you are sorry for it, I will go lenient on you. I will only make you pay a small price for my forgiveness," he said breathing into her ear. She shivered.

"Oh and what might that be March warden?" she asked her breathing becoming labored. He was arousing her, this she knew. She had never had a male do anything like this. She looked up at him.

"This," he said in a whisper. He lowered his lips to hers in a light tender kiss. The kiss was the sweetest one yet. In that kiss she felt his full sexual passion laced into it. He took her hands and pinned them to the bed. She wanted to embrace him but found his strength was too much. She giggled at his playfulness. He broke the kiss and looked down at her, he smiled playful like again. "And this," he said. He moved his head lower. He looked at her breasts and saw the effect he was having on her. Her nipples she knew were pebble hard. He lowered his head and captured one in his mouth through her thin nightgown. Her breath caught in her throat when he did this. She loved feeling his mouth on her, even though it was done through her nightdress. Her chest heaved as her excitement grew. He looked up at her. Their eyes locked and he moved to kiss her fully on her lips. This kiss was filled with passion. Their tongues found each other and danced with such urgency. Soon she could feel his arousal on her stomach. He was very hard and quite large. She looked up at him surprised. He smiled down at her knowing she felt the effect she had on him. "You see why I should not stay. I can only control myself so much." His voice was low and husky with need.

"You seem to be controlling yourself quite well. This I thank you for. What now?" she said. He let go of her hand and placed it on his cheek.

"I am going to stop my teasing and we are going to go to sleep. We will do more when the time is right," he said. He went to move but she stopped him.

"Kiss me again," she said simply.

He leaned down and kissed her again this time his lips never left hers as he moved to lay beside her. Soon he stopped. She turned into his chest. She snuggled closer and reached for a loose lock of his hair. She twirled it around her fingers. He looked down at her and pulled her closer. She was beginning to get drowsy. "Soon" he said, "We can fully express our love. But until then holding each other will have to do."

Cassie looked up at him through sleepy eyes. "I love you," she said tenderly. Haldir smiled.

"I love you to. Now sleep for tomorrow we start our courtship," he said resting his head on top of hers.

Cassie soon fell asleep as did her beloved march warden.


TBC