The Corruption and Degredation of Mary Sue
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
42
Views:
1,628
Reviews:
46
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
42
Views:
1,628
Reviews:
46
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Nostalgia
Chapter 21: Nostalgia
Kalina was not enjoying herself as much as she would have liked. Seemingly everyone she knew and considered worth talking to had vanished, and in addition to that Haldir was in a similar position and was wandering over to talk to her out of desperation.
“What,” she said as the elf approached. It wasn’t a question. It was a cold and brittle statement designed to hopefully put him off and make him go elsewhere.
“I’m so bored,” he moaned, ignoring Kalina’s deathly voice.
“Then get more drunk. Where’s my fuckpuppet got to anyway?” she demanded.
“If I knew would I bother talking to you? Now find me some wine,” he ordered. Kalina looked around, then pointed at a few bottles set aside for revellers to help themselves to. “I meant FETCH it,” snapped Haldir.
“Your attempts to derive amusement from my irritation will only end in pain, probably yours although I may have a slightly sore fist after I stick it through your teeth,” rebuked Kalina.
“I’m aware of that. That’s how fucking BORED I am,” Haldir retorted.
“You’re pitiful. You do realise this of course. And if I don’t hurt you those two will. They already fleeced Legolas of all his intoxicants and I think I saw him fleeing earlier,” said Kalina, inclining her head towards where her brothers were talking to Glorfindel.
“Awww… does the ickle brat need her big bwuvvas to hurt nasty Haldir?” sneered Haldir.
“Eru’s spangly crotch, you are desperate for amusement, you masochist.” Not that Kalina could really blame him. She glanced back over at her brothers and succeeded in making eye contact with Glorfindel. He made his apologies to Elladan and Elrohir and hurried over to Kalina.
“Kalina!!!!” said Glorfindel excitedly, engulfing the young elf in a massive embrace. “How’s my favourite bitch from hell?” he said affectionately.
“Bored shitless,” replied Kalina. Glorfindel laughed indulgently.
“I’ve got something for you!” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out an exceedingly grisly string of dried orc ears. “Remember this?”
“AH!!! I’d almost forgotten about that!” said Kalina, snatching the vile thing out of Glorfindel’s hands.
“What the fuck is that?” inquired Haldir hesitantly, regarding the object with suspicion and disgust.
“I had this on me not long after Kalina was born. Elrond and I were reminiscing over old times and this little terror was teething,” said Glorfindel. “Anyway Elrond told me to hold her while he got something for her gums so I waved this at her and instantly she stopped whining and stuck it in her mouth and started chewing on it.”
“Yep! It’s my pacifier!!” said Kalina gleefully.
“That just explains so much. So very very much,” said Haldir, backing away from the sick fucks.
“Of course Elrond was none too happy about it, but it kept Kalina quiet so eventually he gave up. Besides. It’s no different than chewing on leather except this is genuine dead orc leather!!! SEE?” Glorfindel grabbed the string of ears off of Kalina and thrust it at Haldir’s face. Much to his horror he could see teeny elfling teeth marks dotting a good portion of the ears.
“Er… that’s quite vile,” said Haldir, regretting having bothered to start talking to Kalina more than he usually did. This was just too damned grotesque and wrong.
What was even more wrong was the feeling of relief he felt upon seeing Celebelen hurrying over with bloodshot eyes and look of repugnance across her stoned face.
"Kalina!" gasped the human urgently. Kalina rolled her eyes and looked most agitated. She'd just been starting to enjoy herself and Mad Uncle Glorfindel (as she and her siblings referred to him frequently) could probably be easily coaxed into reminiscing about epic battles and getting Kalina wasted. He made it no secret that she was his favorite of Elrond's children, indulging her in every twisted whim that her father either conveniently overlooked or out and out put his foot down over.
"Do you mind? I'm talking to Glorfindel," she snapped.
"And who is this?" inquired Glorfindel, checking out Celebelen.
"She's one of THOSE humans," whispered Haldir as Celebelen ignored the others and began talking to Kalina.
"Elaborate, you buffoon," snapped Glorfindel, who preferred straight explanations for the most part.
"She appeared in Elrond's garden. She's from elsewhere and seems to know a little too much about our future's for Aragorn's liking," sighed Haldir quietly as Celebelen insisted that what she had to tell Kalina was REALLY important and began dragging her off.
"AH!!! One of those!!! It's been a good few decades since we last saw one of them in Rivendell," said Glorfindel, studying Celebelen as she tried to talk to Kalina.
"I've never encountered one before and I really hope she dies or goes away very very soon... although she's an easy low rent crack whore which DOES have its uses," conceded Haldir.
"She's a whore you say?" There was a decidedly unwholesome gleam in Glorfindel's eye. Haldir knew that the veteran elf was somewhat eccentric as a result of the battles and horrors he had witnessed in his long life. He had spent a good deal of his time coping with the aftermath of such experiences by eating strange mushrooms, drinking too much, and getting it on with any easy floozy available. Cheap human whores in particular held a certain nostalgic value for him.
"Well, I managed to turn her into one with a little help from Kalina," said Haldir, as always trying to assume credit for what was clearly his glorious work.
"Uh-huh," said Glorfindel, knowing better than to listen to Haldir for any particular length of time. The veteran watched the two females as they wandered off a little ways for Celebelen to tell Kalina whatever it was that she deemed so very urgent.
Kalina was not enjoying herself as much as she would have liked. Seemingly everyone she knew and considered worth talking to had vanished, and in addition to that Haldir was in a similar position and was wandering over to talk to her out of desperation.
“What,” she said as the elf approached. It wasn’t a question. It was a cold and brittle statement designed to hopefully put him off and make him go elsewhere.
“I’m so bored,” he moaned, ignoring Kalina’s deathly voice.
“Then get more drunk. Where’s my fuckpuppet got to anyway?” she demanded.
“If I knew would I bother talking to you? Now find me some wine,” he ordered. Kalina looked around, then pointed at a few bottles set aside for revellers to help themselves to. “I meant FETCH it,” snapped Haldir.
“Your attempts to derive amusement from my irritation will only end in pain, probably yours although I may have a slightly sore fist after I stick it through your teeth,” rebuked Kalina.
“I’m aware of that. That’s how fucking BORED I am,” Haldir retorted.
“You’re pitiful. You do realise this of course. And if I don’t hurt you those two will. They already fleeced Legolas of all his intoxicants and I think I saw him fleeing earlier,” said Kalina, inclining her head towards where her brothers were talking to Glorfindel.
“Awww… does the ickle brat need her big bwuvvas to hurt nasty Haldir?” sneered Haldir.
“Eru’s spangly crotch, you are desperate for amusement, you masochist.” Not that Kalina could really blame him. She glanced back over at her brothers and succeeded in making eye contact with Glorfindel. He made his apologies to Elladan and Elrohir and hurried over to Kalina.
“Kalina!!!!” said Glorfindel excitedly, engulfing the young elf in a massive embrace. “How’s my favourite bitch from hell?” he said affectionately.
“Bored shitless,” replied Kalina. Glorfindel laughed indulgently.
“I’ve got something for you!” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out an exceedingly grisly string of dried orc ears. “Remember this?”
“AH!!! I’d almost forgotten about that!” said Kalina, snatching the vile thing out of Glorfindel’s hands.
“What the fuck is that?” inquired Haldir hesitantly, regarding the object with suspicion and disgust.
“I had this on me not long after Kalina was born. Elrond and I were reminiscing over old times and this little terror was teething,” said Glorfindel. “Anyway Elrond told me to hold her while he got something for her gums so I waved this at her and instantly she stopped whining and stuck it in her mouth and started chewing on it.”
“Yep! It’s my pacifier!!” said Kalina gleefully.
“That just explains so much. So very very much,” said Haldir, backing away from the sick fucks.
“Of course Elrond was none too happy about it, but it kept Kalina quiet so eventually he gave up. Besides. It’s no different than chewing on leather except this is genuine dead orc leather!!! SEE?” Glorfindel grabbed the string of ears off of Kalina and thrust it at Haldir’s face. Much to his horror he could see teeny elfling teeth marks dotting a good portion of the ears.
“Er… that’s quite vile,” said Haldir, regretting having bothered to start talking to Kalina more than he usually did. This was just too damned grotesque and wrong.
What was even more wrong was the feeling of relief he felt upon seeing Celebelen hurrying over with bloodshot eyes and look of repugnance across her stoned face.
"Kalina!" gasped the human urgently. Kalina rolled her eyes and looked most agitated. She'd just been starting to enjoy herself and Mad Uncle Glorfindel (as she and her siblings referred to him frequently) could probably be easily coaxed into reminiscing about epic battles and getting Kalina wasted. He made it no secret that she was his favorite of Elrond's children, indulging her in every twisted whim that her father either conveniently overlooked or out and out put his foot down over.
"Do you mind? I'm talking to Glorfindel," she snapped.
"And who is this?" inquired Glorfindel, checking out Celebelen.
"She's one of THOSE humans," whispered Haldir as Celebelen ignored the others and began talking to Kalina.
"Elaborate, you buffoon," snapped Glorfindel, who preferred straight explanations for the most part.
"She appeared in Elrond's garden. She's from elsewhere and seems to know a little too much about our future's for Aragorn's liking," sighed Haldir quietly as Celebelen insisted that what she had to tell Kalina was REALLY important and began dragging her off.
"AH!!! One of those!!! It's been a good few decades since we last saw one of them in Rivendell," said Glorfindel, studying Celebelen as she tried to talk to Kalina.
"I've never encountered one before and I really hope she dies or goes away very very soon... although she's an easy low rent crack whore which DOES have its uses," conceded Haldir.
"She's a whore you say?" There was a decidedly unwholesome gleam in Glorfindel's eye. Haldir knew that the veteran elf was somewhat eccentric as a result of the battles and horrors he had witnessed in his long life. He had spent a good deal of his time coping with the aftermath of such experiences by eating strange mushrooms, drinking too much, and getting it on with any easy floozy available. Cheap human whores in particular held a certain nostalgic value for him.
"Well, I managed to turn her into one with a little help from Kalina," said Haldir, as always trying to assume credit for what was clearly his glorious work.
"Uh-huh," said Glorfindel, knowing better than to listen to Haldir for any particular length of time. The veteran watched the two females as they wandered off a little ways for Celebelen to tell Kalina whatever it was that she deemed so very urgent.