Something Special, Something Sacred

Imladris, Third Age 2033

He had spent a week under Elrond's tutelage. Glorfindel had finally stopped blushing with embarrassment when he viewed his Lady nude and collared. His heart was lighter the more he learned, but his spirit was still heavy without his lover at his side. He sighed as he entered their rooms, and stopped suddenly when he walked into their bedchamber.

"Elladan? Elrohir?" he asked, puzzled as to why Elrond's sons would be in his rooms.

Elladan glanced up from the wooden crate he was filling. "Good day, Glorfindel."

"Good day," the Elda replied, still confused. "May I ask why you are in my bedchambers? Did Erestor send you for something?"

Elrohir seemed to fidget with the tunic in his hands, averting his eyes as he answered the blond. "Actually, he sent us for... everything."

"He thinks it would be best for him to move into the empty room beside ours." Elladan continued to pack various items, his grey eyes glittering dangerously at Glorfindel.

Glorfindel sighed. Sound seemed muffled and he felt dizzy. Erestor? Moving out of their rooms? These had been Erestor's rooms to begin with, if anyone should have moved from the quarters, it should have been Glorfindel. "For how long?" he asked softly, fearing the answer.

Elladan shrugged. "The way he tells it, permanently."

Elrohir glared at his twin. "Erestor does not know what he feels, Glorfindel," he offered, sympathy in his eyes as he looked upon the fallen warrior. "I do not believe him, and neither should you."

"He tells us that he will never be with you again," Elladan added, paying no heed to his brother's words as he put the lid on his crate.

Glorfindel felt tears sting his eyes. Never?

"Elladan!" Elrohir hissed before turning his attention back to Glorfindel. "Please do not pay any attention to him. He apparently skipped classes the day that our tutors taught tact." Elrohir piled his crate atop Elladan's, pushing his twin to the door. As he passed Glorfindel, he leaned up and kissed the Balrog-slayer's cheek, offering him a small smile. "The truth is, Erestor is hurting and confused. He needs some time alone in a neutral space. When the time is right, he will return."

Glorfindel watched Elrond's sons' walk out the door with Erestor's belongings, and he had never felt more alone. Though he was trying to learn, to mend what he had broken, it seemed Erestor was through with him. He thought again on Elrohir's words of encouragement and sighed. "I wish that I had your faith, my young friend," he whispered to the empty room.

*****

Erestor sighed in exasperation when another knock rang at his door. It was well after the dinner hour and he had told both Elladan and Elrohir, Lindir, Celebrían *and* Lothvaen that he did not want to eat, talk, play a game of chess, or come to the Hall of Fire. He simply wanted to be left alone in his tiny, cold room, alone to his misery and self-doubt. He stormed to the door, wearing his leggings and only a half-closed undershirt.

"Lothvaen, if you come to this door again tonight, I will--" he stopped mid-sentence when he opened the door, revealing the Lord of Imladris dressed just as casually in shirt and loose trousers. "Elrond," he said, his eyes widening as he saw his friend. "I was not expecting you."

"Well," Elrond said, pushing into the room, his arms full of a laden dinner tray, "after you turned everyone else away, I figured I would be the only one you would allow into this room." Elrond gazed around the room in obvious displeasure. "Erestor, why in Arda did you choose this room? It has to be the smallest, dampest, dreariest room on this floor."

Erestor walked passed Elrond, falling heavily into a threadbare chair. "Exactly."

Elrond placed the tray on the floor in front of Erestor and chose a plate of bread and cold meats. He handed the dish to the Noldo. "Eat."

"No," Erestor said, wrinkling his nose. "I am not hungry."

"That has been your excuse for over a week. You have lost weight and you look sickly. If you do not begin eating, venturing outside this room, or performing your duties, the realm will begin to talk." Elrond put the plate in Erestor's lap, staring down at the Elf sternly. "Now, eat."

Erestor shot Elrond a venomous look, but complied. By the time Elrond relented, the Noldo had consumed all the meat, a portion of bread, some cheese and an apple. Elrond poured them each a goblet of rich red wine, seating himself on the only other surface in the room: the bed.

The Peredhel sipped at his wine, and Erestor watched Elrond closely from the corner of his eyes. He knew Elrond had not come solely to feed him; his former master had more on his mind than a meal. He sipped his own wine silently, waiting until Elrond would finally admit to why he had come.

"Erestor," Elrond finally began. "It was a cowardly thing, sending my sons to do your dirty work."

"I did not send them to do anything but bring some of my necessary items to me. That was all," Erestor replied defensively.

Elrond shook his head. "Elladan spoke to Glorfindel. He said you would not be coming back to Glorfindel. Now, why would he have that impression?"

Erestor cleared his throat, staring into his glass. "Because I have no intent of returning to Glorfindel."

"Erestor, be reasonable--"

"I am reasonable!" Erestor snapped at Elrond, swinging his head so that he could at look the Half-Elf directly. "He is a danger to me. And I to him. It is best if we part."

Elrond placed his goblet on the floor at his feet. "Better for who, Erestor? Him or you? If you do not have to see him, do you think the guilt will go away? Will you stop torturing yourself if he simply disappears? Tell me, Erestor, did you ever *really* love him?"

The Noldo shot to his feet, his eyes dark and dangerous. "I did love him! If I had not loved him, had not wanted him to be happy, this would never have gone as far as it has! I would not have seen him, Elrond, so lifeless in that bed -- a result of *my* hand!" Erestor shook his head, finishing his wine in one large swallow. "Of course, I loved him."

"Do you still?"

"If I did not," Erestor said softly, tossing his goblet to the chair, "it would not hurt so much to see him."

Elrond crossed the distance between them, cupping Erestor's cheek tenderly. "Does he know?"

Erestor shook his head. "I only visit him when he sleeps."

"You should tell him."

"No," Erestor said, pulling away from Elrond. "It is best he does not know."

"You say that a lot, meldir," Elrond remarked. "That it is 'best'. Again, I ask you: who is it best for?"

The Elf sighed. "Me."

"You are a coward."

"Aye."

"But, you and I both know that is an untrue statement."

Erestor offered a false smile. "Is it?"

"Why did you not stop it, Erestor? I know you. There had to be a point at which you put your foot down. What happened?"

"I did, aye," he said as he sat on the bed, taking Elrond's hand as the Peredhel joined him. "But, he told me that he would find someone else to fulfill his needs if I would not." Erestor turned his sad eyes to Elrond. "We both know who would have quickly snatched him up. Thranduil is still bitter about my parting with Legolas. He has sought Glorfindel's favor for many years, and he would have offered Glorfindel all he wanted -- and more." Erestor sighed. "I decided I would rather Glorfindel suffer at my hands than at Thranduil's."

Elrond nodded. "I see."

"I doubt you do," Erestor sighed.

"Do I not? Not all such relationships are as Celebrían's and mine. I have engaged in some that left me wanting." Elrond brushed the hair back from Erestor's face. "All that you have done, Erestor, can be undone."

Erestor shook his head. "No, I cannot. The things I did, Elrond, were things that *never* should have been done."

"We all make mistakes, and though this one nearly cost Glorfindel his--"

"I do not mean this last instance!" Erestor turned tortured eyes to Elrond. "I struck him, Elrond. Across his face. The day of the piercings, he was nervous. I could tell he was nervous, and he failed to undress me. In my head, all I could see was how he behaved at the breakfast table in front of you... I was so *angry*, Elrond, and I should have not used my position as his master as a way to hurt him. But, I struck him. Said horrible things to him, *tried* to humiliate him. I wanted him to feel as terrible inside as I did!"

Elrond listened intently, and Erestor could see him digesting everything he had said.

"Did you explain how he could end a session, Erestor?" he finally asked.

Erestor nodded. "Of course. It was the first thing I did."

"Did he know it was all right to use it?"

"Why would he not know that, Elrond? What is the point of having it if one cannot use it?"

Elrond nodded. "True, but he could have felt that to use it would mean he failed you. And Glorfindel, above all else, hates failing those he loves. You know this."

"He *made* me hurt him," Erestor insisted.

"Did he? Erestor, I do agree that as it wore on, Glorfindel pushed your limits, but at some point in this whole mess, you surrendered control to him. You let his desires and his wants drive the sessions. His need for greater sensation became more important than what he was learning. And you, Erestor, allowed it to happen," Elrond finished, his eyes holding Erestor's.

"I challenged him."

"How? How did you challenge him?"

Erestor averted his eyes as the words formed on his lips. "I moved too fast. I pushed him faster than I should have. And I continued to push him sooner than I should have." Bile rose in his throat as things suddenly aligned themselves in his head and he truly *saw* what had gone on in those sessions, what his actions had led to. "I made him feel that to set boundaries within our play was a failure to me," he said, turning his tear-filled eyes to Elrond. "I did not teach him that to end a session would not lessen his worth in my eyes."

"And that was very stupid of you."

"Thank you, but I think I am aware of that!" Erestor snapped.

Elrond smiled warmly at Erestor. "Which is a start, is it not?"

Erestor nodded slowly, letting out a ragged sigh.

"While I cannot pretend to know what you are feeling, Erestor, I can offer my comfort," Elrond said quietly, squeezing Erestor's hand.

Erestor squeezed back, looking at Elrond through a haze of time. He remembered the comforts of years long past, before the Last Alliance, before the world became so complicated. Emboldened by the wine, he leaned close to Elrond and pressed his lips against the Peredhel's. Elrond was responsive and warm, returning the kiss and pulling Erestor against him.

Erestor lingered in the kiss for a long moment, then reluctantly sat back. "Will not your Lady be upset if she learns of your being here like this?"

Elrond chuckled and hugged Erestor tightly to his chest. "Who do you think suggested it?"

The Noldo sniffled, the first trace of a smile crossing his lips in a very long time. "She is very wise and you do not deserve someone like her," he said soberly.

"Of that, there is no doubt," Elrond responded with a grin. "It was she that helped me see that loving her does not mean that I have to cease loving you. And right now, you are in need of that love, meldir."

"Aye," was all Erestor could reply, his eyes downcast.

Elrond pressed back on Erestor's shoulders, forcing him to lie back against the mattress. It had been so many years since he had lain with the Half-Elf, and he found his heartbeat quickening, a nervous flutter beginning in his belly. Elrond's pewter eyes hovered above him, the full lips curved into a gentle smile. "Elrond," he breathed, and then was silenced as Elrond brought their lips together for another kiss. Erestor opened his mouth to Elrond, moaning softly when Elrond's tongue swept against his.

He aided Elrond in removing the half-closed undershirt he had been wearing, and watched as the Peredhel moved down his body and untied his leggings. It was slow and tender, every action his lover made was done to reassure Erestor of his love. Elrond pulled the tight cloth from Erestor's legs, revealing the strong, defined legs and Erestor's hard shaft. He was already terribly aroused, and wantonly arched into Elrond's hands as he stroked and caressed his body. Only Elrond had been able to evoke such an intense desire to offer himself in Erestor, and he eagerly spread his legs, allowing Elrond to settle between them.

Through half-lidded eyes he gazed at his old master, who so easily mastered him again. Elrond bent his head, easing Erestor's length into his mouth, slowly sliding down the shaft until Erestor felt Elrond's nose brush against his skin. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, relaxing his body as Elrond began to move along his arousal. "For someone who has not had a male partner for so long," Erestor commented, gasping when Elrond suckled on the tip of his cock, "you have lost none of your talents."

Erestor felt Elrond chuckle around his length, and then the Half-Elf allowed his flesh to slip from his mouth. "One may not wield a sword in battle for many years, but when the time comes, the knowledge resurfaces," he remarked, snaking up Erestor's body.

"And this is a battle?" Erestor asked softly, his lips almost touching Elrond's.

"Aye, Councilor." Elrond sweetly kissed Erestor, smiling down at him. "A battle for the core of who and what you are."

Erestor's eyes misted over. "I am nothing."

"Oh, Erestor," Elrond said, nuzzling at the Noldo's throat. "You are so much more than nothing. Shall I tell you?" When Erestor did not answer, Elrond continued, stripping himself, but always gazing down at the Elf. "You are a wise and learned advisor who has a shrewd diplomatic mind." A kiss to his chest, a flick of Elrond's warm tongue over a nipple. "You are a strong and assertive warrior, agile and dangerous on the field of battle." Elrond lifted his head. "Did I ever tell you how I saw you? Tall and fell, dark and pale... swinging your blade, your face a mask of vengeance as we cut through the filth at Barad-dûr. I have never forgotten your swiftness, your ability to strategize."

Every word made Erestor's pulse race further. Elrond had never said such things to him. Yes, the Peredhel had complimented him on many occasions, but never in such an intimate, powerful manner. Hot breath over his navel drew his attention back to the soft words being whispered against his skin.

"You are a caring and giving lover. You have never denied me my pleasures, and you react so shamelessly to my touch. You were beautiful and glorious spread beneath me, your legs wrapped about my waist as I moved within your body." Elrond's fingers gently probed at his entrance, and through his sensual haze, Erestor became fully aware of what Elrond would demand of him tonight.

"You desire me to submit," Erestor said, his voice thick with fear and desire.

Elrond shook his head. "There is no submission, Erestor. It is you and I in this bed, friends and lovers. No master, no submissive. I wish to take you as I did when we first took to bed together, before the trappings of power came between us and I am sure you felt it your duty to allow me to take you."

"Loving you was never a duty, Elrond," Erestor said, running his fingers over Elrond's cheek. "It never has been." He shifted under Elrond, drawing his legs up and offering himself to Elrond.

Slick, cold fingers pressed against his entrance, and he closed his eyes, willing himself to remain calm.

"How long has it been, Erestor?" Elrond asked as he slid a finger into Erestor.

Erestor hissed, the brief burning sensation quickly fading. "Almost three hundred years, I believe." He mewed as Elrond moved his finger inside him, spreading the oil deeply.

"You have never allowed..." Elrond trailed off, as if realizing where the conversation would lead. "Are you certain you desire this?" Elrond asked, coating his own erection.

Erestor nodded, and soon Elrond hovered over him, and his thick length was pushing into him. He opened his mouth to cry out, but Elrond covered his lips with his own, swallowing the muffled sounds of pain as he took Erestor. His legs trembled, and he felt the muscles surrounding Elrond clench and unclench as his body fought the intrusion. He panted into the kiss, groaning when Elrond grasped his length again and stroked firmly.

They parted, and Elrond grabbed Erestor's hand and replaced his own with Erestor's. "Touch yourself, Erestor," he commanded, his voice breaking as he moved for the first time. "I did not finish telling you just how much more you are." He thrust carefully, and Erestor whimpered, his cock jerking in his hand with Elrond's movements. "You are a good friend," he continued, kissing Erestor's lips, cheeks, and neck as they made love. "You have a kind heart, and you were a good teacher, friend, and parent to my children."

"I did not raise them, Elrond!" Erestor cried as Elrond nipped playfully at his nipple.

"Oh, you did, meleth. You taught them how to read and write, told them grand stories and played with them in the sunshine. You were there when they were ill and you offered them comfort when they needed it. You did all that I did, but you did not have to." Elrond's pace was steady and languid, slowly building them up to their completion.

"Enough talk, Elrond," Erestor panted, stroking himself more quickly. "Just love me."

Elrond smiled, dipping his head down again to take another kiss. "With pleasure."

Hours later, Erestor lay curled against Elrond's side, his head resting comfortably on his lover's shoulder. He was sated and warm and happy in these moments after having been loved so thoroughly. It had been a long time since he felt that connection with Glorfindel. "Do you truly love me, Elrond?" he asked, ashamed of how desperate his voice sounded.

"Aye, I do Erestor. From the first moment Celebrimbor brought you to me, I loved you," Elrond said, his voice heavy with exhaustion. Elrond lovingly stroked Erestor's hair as the Noldo thought silently.

"Why?"

"Why do I love you?" Erestor nodded against the Peredhel's chest. "Because, Erestor, there is no one in all of Eru's creation like you."

TBC...