In the Garden
folder
-Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
35
Views:
7,580
Reviews:
59
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
-Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
35
Views:
7,580
Reviews:
59
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 21 Vanity, Vanity, All is Vanity
Title: In the Garden, Chapter 21 (betaed)
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, others implied
Rating: R
Warning: AU (Story set several hundred years after ROTK in Aman); Het.
Feedback: Constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: AFF; FF
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Lady Victoria for betaing this fic.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Prof. Tolkien. A quick check of my bank account should prove I’m not making anything off of writing my stories. Sigh!
Summary: Life in the Blessed Land has not been so blessed for Elrond. Can the happiness that has long eluded him be found in the words of a red-bound journal, the help of his scheming friends, and the granting of a wish that none thought possible?
Chapter 21 --- Vanity, Vanity, All is Vanity*
Meril’s soft voice broke the solemn quiet that had settled over the glade since the extended family had risen to take their morning meal. “I think the time has come for me to try and challenge her?”
Before Elrond could speak, Galadriel reached over to cover her niece’s hand with hers. “We thank you for your willingness to help, dear one, but I could not ask you to subject yourself to the abuse my daughter would heap upon you in her current condition. Celebrian has never treated you kindly, so I can only imagine how she would behave now.”
“I was not expecting this to be easy or pleasant, but I must try. She has failed to respond to any of you over the past week. I have considered her likely course of attack and am ready to face this,” Meril insisted with quiet dignity. “I dearly love you for wanting to protect me, Aunt, but I must face this for my sake as much as hers. I will not be cowed by her ill-treatment any longer.”
“Meril, you have been hurt by Celebrian greatly in the past. We do not want to see this happen again,” Cirdan coaxed. “She has not responded to any of us, so there is no reason to think you will succeed in this. Yes, we are trying to protect you… we love you and protecting loved ones is what families do for each other.”
“I need to do this, Uncle. I love each of you as well, but I must confront her.” Sighing, she tried again. “Think of this… I would never be able to live with the guilt if she continues to decline and I did nothing to help out of fear. I too have things… issues I need to confront… one of which is the fact I let her drive me into hiding for over two hundred years when I did nothing wrong. I will soon have to face my Naneth over this issue. I cannot do that until I have put my anger with Celebrian to rest. As for whether or not I will have an impact when none of you has… perhaps, I will be the straw that broke the mule’s back. I must try.”
“And, if she wounds you deeply once again, Lirimaer... are you sure you can face this? I too do not want to see you hurt again… especially when it will likely do no good. Celebrian has sealed off her heart to admitting her responsibility. Think on this carefully, Meril. Once done, we may not be able undo the damage she might inflict.” Elrond urged. (lovely one)
“I have thought about this, Elrond… since the night Mithrandir asked if I could do this. I know what I am facing. I have seen each of you return looking scarred and drained from your encounters with her.” Smiling gently, she added, “I am not a child or a delicate piece of crystal that cannot face the world for fear of being broken. I lived like that too long to allow myself to fall into that pattern again. And even if it is as bad as we fear, I will recover. I am not alone and I know that this time. I must try.”
“I… please, Meril… take care,” he whispered, his disquiet evident in his silver eyes.
-----
“So they have sent their sweet little dove to face me and tell me how wicked I have been. Go back to your flute, elfling, and do not try to act like an adult,” Celebrian mocked.
Moving slowly into the room, Meril remained quiet as she struggled to contain her horror at the wraith-like figure before her. “I am not here to tell you anything, cousin. You have shown yourself incapable of listening or of accepting responsibility for your own actions. I do not plan to waste my breath. That is not why I came.”
Sneering, she taunted, “Indeed. Well, well… do tell me what brought you here. I am waiting with baited breath to hear your words of wisdom… borrowed though they must be. Neither you nor your twin has ever had an original thought between you. I am sure that must have been a bitter disappointment for your brilliant father… assuming he cares over much for anything beyond your naneth.”
“Nothing original I assure you. I merely wanted to see you one last time. I wanted you to know I now longer care what you think of me or about whom you choose to bed. Standing here before you I see there is nothing left to fear,” Meril observed.
“You talk as if I am going somewhere… or is it you plan to never see me again? Aman is not that large that you can avoid me forever, so if I want to see you… make your life a misery; you would be powerless to stop me. I would not tempt me with such reckless words, cousin. I might enjoy the sport.”
“Aman, yes, you are correct in that Aman is too small for me to avoid you, though I have no intention of hiding from you or anyone else ever again. I feel rather foolish that I ever felt the need to hide from you before. But that is in the past.” Turning to face her cousin, Meril carefully gauged her reaction to her next comment. “I was, however, not speaking in terms of Aman. I was thinking rather of Mandos Halls. Tis clear you will soon be residing there, so I doubt I will see you again… at least not for a very long time.”
“Mandos? Are you threatening me?”
Smiling sadly, the younger elleth replied, “Nay, there is no need. I can see clearly the mark of death upon you. We both lived in Middle-earth too long to have avoided seeing the signs. I put several arrows through the heads of the enemy in helping to defend our home from a band of orcs hoping to catch us unprepared when your parents led our main force to Dol Guldur and watched as the life left their eyes by my hand.”
Pausing to meet Celebrian’s confused glare, she added, “I have seen much of death and you are clearly fading from the grief you have brought upon your own spirit. You made yourself a laughingstock throughout Aman and have been spurned by our kin since your conduct became known. No one flocks to see you and pay court to the beautiful Celebrian anymore. The beautiful Celebrian no longer exists… except in your own imagination. Look in a mirror if you need to see the proof of my words with your own eyes.”
“You lie!”
“Sadly, no I do not. You have lost the great beauty you once possessed. Look at your hair… it is a dull, flat grey. Your eyes are empty, save for the bitter glint of anger and self-hatred. You have withered to a scarecrow and your clothes hang about you like a sack. Tell me… if you saw those signs in another, what would you think but that this person was fading and not long for this world?” she observed, her voice detached and cold.
“You are lying! I am a great beauty! You have always been jealous of me. I took Haldir from you and now you are making petty slurs at me to try and make yourself feel better. You are pathetic!” she snarled.
Laughing in response to her accusations, Meril offered, “If you think I am lying, ask for a mirror to be brought to you. They may not do it, for they do not want to shock you with the sight before me. I think you are too far gone to see the truth, even if you see it with your own eyes. Prove me wrong, Celebrian… or are you too scared to face this truth as you have avoided all the others not to your liking?”
Spitting with rage, Celebrian turned and ran to the door of her rooms. “Attendant! Bring me a mirror… NOW!”
-----
“Shall we allow this, my lady? Is she strong enough to see the truth of her condition?” Lissë asked, worry marring her features.
“I begin to think Meril may be the only one of us to understand her cousin… the best way to get through to her may yet be though her vanity,” the Vala mused. “Bring a mirror, but be ready with aid for Meril if she reacts in a violent manner. Have several attendants close at hand, as well as, a sedative.”
-----
“What is taking them so long?!”
“Has it not occurred to you that you have been in these rooms for several weeks and yet you have not asked for a mirror before, cousin? That is most unlike you! I have seldom known you to stay away from a mirror for more than a few minutes, so agreeable did you find your own image.” Pressing further, Meril noted, “I see that you still have not commented on your hair. Do you not see how dull and grey it has become? Where is the splendid mane of silver that you were once so proud to possess?”
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You are lying to me! I am beautiful and ever shall be!” the frantic elleth cried, her eyes wild with fear.
“Pick up a lock of your hair, Celebrian and look at it… NOW! Then tell me who is lying to you? You continue to delude yourself as you ever have, but this time it may cost you your life if you persist. LOOK and tell me the truth of what is before you!”
Wide-eyed, Celebrian lifted a trembling hand to gather a lock of her hair. Slowly, she brought it before her eyes. The shock drove her to her knees. “Do you see, cousin? You must see what you are doing to yourself before it is too late!”
In a voice croaking with pain, Celebrian murmured, “What do you care if I fade? You hate me as I hate you.”
Dropping to her side, Meril took her hand. “You have never given me reason to care for you, Celebrian; this is true. I do, however, care deeply about your parents and your sons. I have no desire to see them mourn your passing. In truth, I would not wish to see anyone fade, regardless of how I feel about them.”
“The mirror you requested, Celebrian. Are you sure you wish to see what it will reveal?”
Both ellith looked up to see the wise and caring eyes of the Vala. “Meril speaks the truth. You are fading from grief… grief you have brought to your own spirit by your behavior. It is time you faced this Celebrian and started to take responsibility for the wrongs you have done to others. That is the only thing that will save you… bring you back to good health. True beauty begins from within. As long as you continue to destroy your spirit, there is no surface beauty that can hide it. See with your own eyes what the years of deceit and willful harm inflicted on others have done to you.”
Faced with the specter of the image that lurked before her in the mirror, Celebrian dropped her head and began to weep. “Nay, it is not true. I am beautiful and I will live!”
“Look into the mirror, Celebrian. It is time you faced yourself. You have no place left to hide. Look and begin to accept what you have done with your life.”
The command in the Vala’s voice was unmistakable. Unable to deny it, Celebrian slowly lifted her head… and saw the truth.
-----
To their great surprise, Celebrian did not scream or shout. She did not faint or become hysterical. New focus slowly entered her eyes as the minutes slid by without any movement on any of their parts. Still staring at her ravaged features, Celebrian took a steadying breath. “What must I do, my lady? I do not want to die.”
“To want to live is the first step, penneth. We will talk. We will not let you die if you truly wish to live… but the time of your avoiding your responsibility for your conduct is over. Our actions have consequences. When you hurt another… break a vow… minimize your own worth by trading your favors for fleeting attention, you damage your spirit as surely as you damage the fëar of those around you. You have done great harm to many, but the greatest has been to your family and to yourself.” Tilting her chin so that the elleth was forced to meet her gaze, Estë concluded, “You have much you must do and face before you recover your health, but be comforted in the knowledge that you will not be alone in this. We will help you, Celebrian.” (young one) (spirits)
Flicking her gaze to the side so that she could study Meril out of the corner of her eyes, the elleth observed, “I will likely continue to hurt those around me… I am not sure I know how to act otherwise anymore.”
“Aye, you will. This does not mean we will give up on you, child. Do not expect Meril and Elrond to remain here with their extended family for much longer. It is time we freed them to move on with their lives, free of the pain of the past. They have done more than most would have done to help save the ones that brought them such intense grief and suffering. Soon you will need to face them again and let them go in peace.” Leaning down to pull the broken elleth into her arms, the Vala relented. “But that is for another day. Come child. We must begin.”
-----
A/N - *The title of this chapter comes from the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Judeo-Christian Bible. It speaks to the human obsession with our outward appearance and with transitory passions over our spiritual selves. I thought it fit the characterization I have been developing for Celebrian… someone that has gotten by on her looks all her life and thinks it is enough to excuse her conduct. Yes, I realize this is an extreme portrayal of Celebrian, but I wanted to juxtapose an obsession with physical beauty against the real beauty of the loving family she hurt.
A/N - Thanks Anne! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! I do love Tolkien and have been reading his works since I was a teenager. Elrond is my favorite character (just in case I've been hiding that fact!), but I love Gil-Galad... well, I love them all! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
A/N - Hi MarzBar! I'm glad you enjoyed the 'scene'! My Elrond muse worked double-time whispering lines for me to give him. I suspect he has been holding them inside for a while! LOL Thanks for all your support! More soon!
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, others implied
Rating: R
Warning: AU (Story set several hundred years after ROTK in Aman); Het.
Feedback: Constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: AFF; FF
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Lady Victoria for betaing this fic.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Prof. Tolkien. A quick check of my bank account should prove I’m not making anything off of writing my stories. Sigh!
Summary: Life in the Blessed Land has not been so blessed for Elrond. Can the happiness that has long eluded him be found in the words of a red-bound journal, the help of his scheming friends, and the granting of a wish that none thought possible?
Chapter 21 --- Vanity, Vanity, All is Vanity*
Meril’s soft voice broke the solemn quiet that had settled over the glade since the extended family had risen to take their morning meal. “I think the time has come for me to try and challenge her?”
Before Elrond could speak, Galadriel reached over to cover her niece’s hand with hers. “We thank you for your willingness to help, dear one, but I could not ask you to subject yourself to the abuse my daughter would heap upon you in her current condition. Celebrian has never treated you kindly, so I can only imagine how she would behave now.”
“I was not expecting this to be easy or pleasant, but I must try. She has failed to respond to any of you over the past week. I have considered her likely course of attack and am ready to face this,” Meril insisted with quiet dignity. “I dearly love you for wanting to protect me, Aunt, but I must face this for my sake as much as hers. I will not be cowed by her ill-treatment any longer.”
“Meril, you have been hurt by Celebrian greatly in the past. We do not want to see this happen again,” Cirdan coaxed. “She has not responded to any of us, so there is no reason to think you will succeed in this. Yes, we are trying to protect you… we love you and protecting loved ones is what families do for each other.”
“I need to do this, Uncle. I love each of you as well, but I must confront her.” Sighing, she tried again. “Think of this… I would never be able to live with the guilt if she continues to decline and I did nothing to help out of fear. I too have things… issues I need to confront… one of which is the fact I let her drive me into hiding for over two hundred years when I did nothing wrong. I will soon have to face my Naneth over this issue. I cannot do that until I have put my anger with Celebrian to rest. As for whether or not I will have an impact when none of you has… perhaps, I will be the straw that broke the mule’s back. I must try.”
“And, if she wounds you deeply once again, Lirimaer... are you sure you can face this? I too do not want to see you hurt again… especially when it will likely do no good. Celebrian has sealed off her heart to admitting her responsibility. Think on this carefully, Meril. Once done, we may not be able undo the damage she might inflict.” Elrond urged. (lovely one)
“I have thought about this, Elrond… since the night Mithrandir asked if I could do this. I know what I am facing. I have seen each of you return looking scarred and drained from your encounters with her.” Smiling gently, she added, “I am not a child or a delicate piece of crystal that cannot face the world for fear of being broken. I lived like that too long to allow myself to fall into that pattern again. And even if it is as bad as we fear, I will recover. I am not alone and I know that this time. I must try.”
“I… please, Meril… take care,” he whispered, his disquiet evident in his silver eyes.
-----
“So they have sent their sweet little dove to face me and tell me how wicked I have been. Go back to your flute, elfling, and do not try to act like an adult,” Celebrian mocked.
Moving slowly into the room, Meril remained quiet as she struggled to contain her horror at the wraith-like figure before her. “I am not here to tell you anything, cousin. You have shown yourself incapable of listening or of accepting responsibility for your own actions. I do not plan to waste my breath. That is not why I came.”
Sneering, she taunted, “Indeed. Well, well… do tell me what brought you here. I am waiting with baited breath to hear your words of wisdom… borrowed though they must be. Neither you nor your twin has ever had an original thought between you. I am sure that must have been a bitter disappointment for your brilliant father… assuming he cares over much for anything beyond your naneth.”
“Nothing original I assure you. I merely wanted to see you one last time. I wanted you to know I now longer care what you think of me or about whom you choose to bed. Standing here before you I see there is nothing left to fear,” Meril observed.
“You talk as if I am going somewhere… or is it you plan to never see me again? Aman is not that large that you can avoid me forever, so if I want to see you… make your life a misery; you would be powerless to stop me. I would not tempt me with such reckless words, cousin. I might enjoy the sport.”
“Aman, yes, you are correct in that Aman is too small for me to avoid you, though I have no intention of hiding from you or anyone else ever again. I feel rather foolish that I ever felt the need to hide from you before. But that is in the past.” Turning to face her cousin, Meril carefully gauged her reaction to her next comment. “I was, however, not speaking in terms of Aman. I was thinking rather of Mandos Halls. Tis clear you will soon be residing there, so I doubt I will see you again… at least not for a very long time.”
“Mandos? Are you threatening me?”
Smiling sadly, the younger elleth replied, “Nay, there is no need. I can see clearly the mark of death upon you. We both lived in Middle-earth too long to have avoided seeing the signs. I put several arrows through the heads of the enemy in helping to defend our home from a band of orcs hoping to catch us unprepared when your parents led our main force to Dol Guldur and watched as the life left their eyes by my hand.”
Pausing to meet Celebrian’s confused glare, she added, “I have seen much of death and you are clearly fading from the grief you have brought upon your own spirit. You made yourself a laughingstock throughout Aman and have been spurned by our kin since your conduct became known. No one flocks to see you and pay court to the beautiful Celebrian anymore. The beautiful Celebrian no longer exists… except in your own imagination. Look in a mirror if you need to see the proof of my words with your own eyes.”
“You lie!”
“Sadly, no I do not. You have lost the great beauty you once possessed. Look at your hair… it is a dull, flat grey. Your eyes are empty, save for the bitter glint of anger and self-hatred. You have withered to a scarecrow and your clothes hang about you like a sack. Tell me… if you saw those signs in another, what would you think but that this person was fading and not long for this world?” she observed, her voice detached and cold.
“You are lying! I am a great beauty! You have always been jealous of me. I took Haldir from you and now you are making petty slurs at me to try and make yourself feel better. You are pathetic!” she snarled.
Laughing in response to her accusations, Meril offered, “If you think I am lying, ask for a mirror to be brought to you. They may not do it, for they do not want to shock you with the sight before me. I think you are too far gone to see the truth, even if you see it with your own eyes. Prove me wrong, Celebrian… or are you too scared to face this truth as you have avoided all the others not to your liking?”
Spitting with rage, Celebrian turned and ran to the door of her rooms. “Attendant! Bring me a mirror… NOW!”
-----
“Shall we allow this, my lady? Is she strong enough to see the truth of her condition?” Lissë asked, worry marring her features.
“I begin to think Meril may be the only one of us to understand her cousin… the best way to get through to her may yet be though her vanity,” the Vala mused. “Bring a mirror, but be ready with aid for Meril if she reacts in a violent manner. Have several attendants close at hand, as well as, a sedative.”
-----
“What is taking them so long?!”
“Has it not occurred to you that you have been in these rooms for several weeks and yet you have not asked for a mirror before, cousin? That is most unlike you! I have seldom known you to stay away from a mirror for more than a few minutes, so agreeable did you find your own image.” Pressing further, Meril noted, “I see that you still have not commented on your hair. Do you not see how dull and grey it has become? Where is the splendid mane of silver that you were once so proud to possess?”
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You are lying to me! I am beautiful and ever shall be!” the frantic elleth cried, her eyes wild with fear.
“Pick up a lock of your hair, Celebrian and look at it… NOW! Then tell me who is lying to you? You continue to delude yourself as you ever have, but this time it may cost you your life if you persist. LOOK and tell me the truth of what is before you!”
Wide-eyed, Celebrian lifted a trembling hand to gather a lock of her hair. Slowly, she brought it before her eyes. The shock drove her to her knees. “Do you see, cousin? You must see what you are doing to yourself before it is too late!”
In a voice croaking with pain, Celebrian murmured, “What do you care if I fade? You hate me as I hate you.”
Dropping to her side, Meril took her hand. “You have never given me reason to care for you, Celebrian; this is true. I do, however, care deeply about your parents and your sons. I have no desire to see them mourn your passing. In truth, I would not wish to see anyone fade, regardless of how I feel about them.”
“The mirror you requested, Celebrian. Are you sure you wish to see what it will reveal?”
Both ellith looked up to see the wise and caring eyes of the Vala. “Meril speaks the truth. You are fading from grief… grief you have brought to your own spirit by your behavior. It is time you faced this Celebrian and started to take responsibility for the wrongs you have done to others. That is the only thing that will save you… bring you back to good health. True beauty begins from within. As long as you continue to destroy your spirit, there is no surface beauty that can hide it. See with your own eyes what the years of deceit and willful harm inflicted on others have done to you.”
Faced with the specter of the image that lurked before her in the mirror, Celebrian dropped her head and began to weep. “Nay, it is not true. I am beautiful and I will live!”
“Look into the mirror, Celebrian. It is time you faced yourself. You have no place left to hide. Look and begin to accept what you have done with your life.”
The command in the Vala’s voice was unmistakable. Unable to deny it, Celebrian slowly lifted her head… and saw the truth.
-----
To their great surprise, Celebrian did not scream or shout. She did not faint or become hysterical. New focus slowly entered her eyes as the minutes slid by without any movement on any of their parts. Still staring at her ravaged features, Celebrian took a steadying breath. “What must I do, my lady? I do not want to die.”
“To want to live is the first step, penneth. We will talk. We will not let you die if you truly wish to live… but the time of your avoiding your responsibility for your conduct is over. Our actions have consequences. When you hurt another… break a vow… minimize your own worth by trading your favors for fleeting attention, you damage your spirit as surely as you damage the fëar of those around you. You have done great harm to many, but the greatest has been to your family and to yourself.” Tilting her chin so that the elleth was forced to meet her gaze, Estë concluded, “You have much you must do and face before you recover your health, but be comforted in the knowledge that you will not be alone in this. We will help you, Celebrian.” (young one) (spirits)
Flicking her gaze to the side so that she could study Meril out of the corner of her eyes, the elleth observed, “I will likely continue to hurt those around me… I am not sure I know how to act otherwise anymore.”
“Aye, you will. This does not mean we will give up on you, child. Do not expect Meril and Elrond to remain here with their extended family for much longer. It is time we freed them to move on with their lives, free of the pain of the past. They have done more than most would have done to help save the ones that brought them such intense grief and suffering. Soon you will need to face them again and let them go in peace.” Leaning down to pull the broken elleth into her arms, the Vala relented. “But that is for another day. Come child. We must begin.”
-----
A/N - *The title of this chapter comes from the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Judeo-Christian Bible. It speaks to the human obsession with our outward appearance and with transitory passions over our spiritual selves. I thought it fit the characterization I have been developing for Celebrian… someone that has gotten by on her looks all her life and thinks it is enough to excuse her conduct. Yes, I realize this is an extreme portrayal of Celebrian, but I wanted to juxtapose an obsession with physical beauty against the real beauty of the loving family she hurt.
A/N - Thanks Anne! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! I do love Tolkien and have been reading his works since I was a teenager. Elrond is my favorite character (just in case I've been hiding that fact!), but I love Gil-Galad... well, I love them all! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
A/N - Hi MarzBar! I'm glad you enjoyed the 'scene'! My Elrond muse worked double-time whispering lines for me to give him. I suspect he has been holding them inside for a while! LOL Thanks for all your support! More soon!