Heaven in Your Eyes

Chap: 20

November 9, 2002

"LIJ!" Orlando gathered him in a hug and swung him into the room. "What am I owing this honor to mate?"
"How bout friendship?"
Orlando ignored the indignant tone and moved to shut off the telly. "Friendship it is then."
"Why didn't you let me know you were comin to town, we coulda made plans."
"I'm only here for two days Lij, didn't know if I could make time and I knew..."
"That's right, jet settin Orli. Always off to bigger better things, no time for friends, hm!"
"As I was going to say. I knew you'd be mad and take it wrong. knowknow Lij, I don't live here. I'm tryin to build a career and *I do* see my friends whenever I can! Last year at the premiehellhell countless times over the last two years. Christ I even let you talk me into going to Viggo's birthday party last month!"
"You stayed twenty-two minutes. I know, I timed it."
"Well, it was two minutes too long!"
"Ever going to tell me what happened?"
His back turned to Elijah and he stared out the patio doors. "Nothing."
He knew his overly stubborn friend wouldn't answer once he took that stance.

"Wanna tell me what happened in Cannes instead?"
Orlando whirled, shooting him a venomous look that made Elijah take a step back. The guilt was instant. He sighed heavily, tired, yet unable to keep the bitterness from his tone.
"What can I say, I was helplessly carried away on a tide of memory and too much alcohol.
Then I was politely reminded of my place in Viggo's life, or rather, that I had none there. You know mate. I always considered myself pretty mature for my age back then but..lets just say I've learned a lot since. *End of story!*"

'Learned what, how to be distant and cold?' Lij wanted to ask. He didn't like the changes he was seeing in his friend and knowing why they were there left him with some small amount of guilt.

"Are you comin to the premiers next month?"
Happy to have the subject changed he smiled. "Yeah I'll be there..all four of them as far as I know." He threw in, knowing Elijah a little too well.

"Well, I can't stay, I just heard you were in town and came by to give you this."
"I't's not even Christmas yet, what brought this on?" He smiled retrieving a framed picture from the bag.
"Just a gesture of friendship." He gave Orli a sad smile.

"I..thanks Lij, he glanced at the fellowships picture from Cannes, I was already given a copy of this."
"Not this one." He watched Orlando's face intently. "Take a closer look at it for me, will ya?"

He held it up, a little confused what the hobbit was on about. His throat tightened the moment he saw it, vision blurred as the tears stung, his finger traced over his own face, staring so longingly towards something that couldn never be. One tear slipped, splashing on the picture. It was a lifetime ago. Emotions to numerous to name sweeping through him in one shot.
He threw the framed memory on the bed and fought the flood like he had so many times before. The only way he knew how. He had only to close his eyes and look up past the smoke from the grill to see them, lips pressed together, Viggo's hand resting (not pushing away) on Karl's hip. He sighed wearily.
"You gotta stop this Lij..there's nothing to fix. It's past, over...just leave it, yeah."
"I see the look on your face in the picture Orli...I see the look in your eyes now. It's not over, you know it..I know it and..would you like to know Vig's reaction when I gave him his?"
He turned incredulous eyes on the hobbit. "You didn't! Please tell me you..Oh Lij, please.. you have to leave this alone. I know you feel bad for pushing me but I've told you, I would have eventually found my way there anyway. I was already in.." He bit his lip, not wishing to voice the words aloud.
"Love with him. Yeah I know. That may be a small part of it, but not the only reason I'm doing this, and you can't stop me. Free country ya know! So, do you wanna know what he said?"
"No!"

He fingered the letters on top the dresser he was leaning against. Some, yellowing round the edges with age, fraying from the wear and tear of packing and unpacking. He lifted the small gift box, thumbing quickly through them to confirm what he already knew. All sealed. A rumpled slip of paper, now folded, still tucked in the edge of the very bottom one. The first one.
"The stacks growing."
Orlando turned from his sightless gaze out the doors to see Elijah drop the box back on Viggo's letters.
"Are you ever going to open them?"
Shrug
"Why do you keep carrying them with you then?"
"Just in case."
"You've still not looked at the paper have you?"
"No."
"You should, you know. It may help if you knew what he used to say to you."
"Help! Help what exactly Lij. Help me to feel worse, like I used to. No! I'm finally getting my life back to some normality..I can't deal with those.. not yet."

Determined to get some kind of answers, he no longer cared if he angered Orlando. At least it would be an honest emotion.
"Your afraid!"
"Afraid? Of course I'm not. What's there to be afraid of?"
"The truth maybe."
"Truth!" His voice rose an octave and Elijah smiled and nodded.
"Pa..leeease. Just countless more lies are sealed in those envelopes. I don't need that!"
"If you truly believed that..you'd toss'em."
"I plan on having a good laugh over them someday."
"It's a way to keep Viggo close and you know it!"
"Stop it Lij! I know what your doing and I just can't yet! All right! Happy?"
He swiped angrily at a tear that escaped. "When I can fucking be around him without falling to pieces, then I'll read the damn things. Is that it? Is that what you wanted to know? That every bloody time I'm near him I can't stay out of his arms.. or his bed? That I can't stop wanting him... I can't sto..." He started to shake and his voice went from a screech to an almost shameful hush. "Even if he isn't mine.. to want."

'It took me a moment to realize what he'd said, what he meant by it. The guilt I already felt, increased. Squatting down beside him on the floor, I laid a hand gently on his trembling shoulder. I said nothing. He was obviously lost in thoughts full of misery. I didn't want to sully the moment of his catharsis with an 'It's all right' or any of the other cheap platitudes our culture has allowed to corrupt the vocabulary of true compassion. It *wasn't* all right, and there wasn't a *damn* thing I could do about it. Except - since I helped put him on this journey down the memory lane of hell - be there for him when it ended.

Cannes; May 14, 2001

The air around him tingled with excitement from partygoers. Flashing cameras from news people lighting up the night, more than the lanterns that were strung everywhere. His body vibrated with nervous tension. Since their arrival he'd somehow managed to avoid his ex-lover, but no longer. Tonight they were showing the world it's first look at the movie. And no matter how much he disliked it, he had a job to do. A job that would be including Viggo in his world once more.
"Play nice in front of the cameras." Peter's eyes had fell on Orlando. It made him wonder who'd spilled their guts. But the warning was clear enough and he nodded once, slipped on his most charming smile, and stepped out to meet the world.
Almost at once, months of tortured dreams became living flesh and familiar cologne, instead of the mirage that floated in the incandescence of nightmares. 'And they were more nightmares than dreams,' he thought, drawing closer to his target. This was a walking, waking, breathing one. One he wanted over... now!

He made his way fast as he could to the circle of hobbits over by the bar.
"Damn Orli, you okay?" Billy stepped out first and gripped his arm as he swayed. "Too much to drink?"
Orli's head shook no.
"Maybe you should have one." Elijah knowingly nudged one into Orlando's hand.
"Maaaybeee..you shouldn't have kissed him" Dom drawled. "Ow! What the fuck! Will you bloody stop kicking me shins ya lil runt!"

They had all seen Orlando bounce up next to Viggo, plant a solid one on his cheek, and bounce just as quickly away.
'Of course,' Elijah had made the mistake of thinking it was an 'unwritten rule' there would be *no* commenting on it.
He looked back to see Orli handing his glass in for a full one.
"Best take it a little slower huh?" He whispered his question, worry showing in his baby blues.
"I'm okay now."

Now that he was cringing inside, startled by a familiar soft rasp, he wondered if that were still true. His stomach did a lurch, then dropped to his feet. He closed his eyes for a second, inhaling deeply, before spinning around to face him. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

Viggo took a hesitant step closer, eyeing the cigarette in Orli's hand.
"I was asking if you stepped out for fresh air, but I see that isn't the case."
He smiled, drawing at it one more time before snapping it away.
"That's littering."
"It's a party..they'll clean up." He leaned on his forearms back to low stone wall as he had been. Gazing at the distant merrymakers. There was no need to ask how he'd been found. The only way was, he'd been followed. He decided to make nice, have a play at civility, maybe Viggo would just bugger off.
"Dinner was nice." His comment was soft as he leaned next to Orlando. "All of us together again."
He nodded his agreement. Viggo's sudden proximity had effectively stolen his voice.
His pulse was racing, the blood ringing in his ears. And much to his horror, he found the temptation to close the small gap between them, to feel the intoxicating touch of his former lover, *enormous*. But he stared straight ahead. Doing his utmost to conceal the effects Viggo still had on him.

The silence that drew out to awkward lengths, was far from compatible, at least for him. He was sure Viggo was quite content with letting him stew. But he needed noise. Even if it was just his own voice.
"Beautiful isn't it?"
"Most beautiful."
A wisp of amusement tinged the mans voice, ringing untruth to Orlando's ears. His chest tightened on finding Viggo's eyes resting firmly on him. Amused only by their difference of opinion, on the *object* of beauty.

A soft smile tried to form his lips, but he bit down on the bottom one, furrowing his brow with disapproval. "The valley." His eyes rolled in mock reproach before he turned back. But not before Viggo caught the tinge that highlighted a cheekbone.
"Your blushing." And if he wasn't (too much) before, he was now. The indignant tone and raised brow was enough to make Viggo chuckle.
"Sod off, yeah!"

Viggo waited til he thought the other about to snap again before he spoke. "Want to tell me what all that was about. Earlier..when you kissed me." He gave in answer to Orli's questioning look. A look that was quickly replaced by
shock.
"I..um..you know. Just hamming it up for cameras..like PJ said to." He made sure to add.
"Pete told you to kiss me?"
"No! I mean, I..kiss every body. Would've looked weird to leave you out is all."
Truth was, he didn't know what had possessed him to do it. But he was sorely regretting it now.
"Well... it's getting late. Think I've had my fill of fresr for for tonight."
Viggo's hand clamped on his upper arm in a grip that said it would tighten if he tried to move further past him.
A finger traced slowly along his jaw, leaving the young man shivering in it's wake. It hooked under his chin, forcing him to meet his captors gaze.
"Don't you mean you've had enough of me?" He forced his smile to remain light, almost teasing, but his heart paused, seeming to hold its own breath while awaiting a response.
"I..don't be silly old man. Why would I be tired of you? I mean.. we're still mates..aren't we?"
"Can we?"
"Stop that Viggo. Stop questioning my questions. No games, yeah. Are we still mates or not?"
"We were always friends Orlando; his finger hooked the young man's chin, turning him to face him; But..is that all we're to remain, nothing more?"
His questioning gaze lowered to watch his thumb trace along a quivering bottom lip. It remained there even while he spoke, as naked evidence of his desire to devour those lips.
"You didn't believe what I told you in the letter?"
Orli flinched and Viggo's eyes snapped up, searching the others for a clue.
"You.. *did* read it? Right? Orlando?"
Eyes darted, anywhere but to meet those knowing blues.
"Will you at least tell me why? Did you misplace it?" His finger jerked the young mans chin up, startling him into looking Viggo in the eye.
"All right, you said no games. I'm sure you'll tell me when your ready."

Orlando could hear the wicked smile in the others voice, the one that didn't show itself on the surface. It was a kind of warning system of Viggo's he'd learned to recognized well.

"So... until your ready.. and we can talk about this.. you want it to be *just friends*. Is that right?"
It wasn't total accuracy, but for the moment it would do. He nodded, watching Viggo carefully, as the man studied him.

"And I asked... can you? Can you be *just* my friend?"
He was about to answer when the thumb started it's perusal again.
"Does that mean no more kisses in the moonlight?" He leaned in as if to do just that, but stopped a few breathes away, intently watching the trail his thumb made over the arc on his upper lip. Orlando froze, uncertain whiay tay to turn to avoid the collision course he was on.
"No more lovemaking under the stars?" If he felt the shudder that passed under his thumb he didn't show it. "No more all night talk sessions.." He was going to say *yes* mates did that sort of thing, until Viggo tagged on.. "That has the sunrise greeting our sated, naked limbs, entwined greedily together."

Orlando's sudden need for a gulp of fresh air couldn't be helped. Viggo smirked.

"I'm not sure I can." He continued to hold his chin and now held his gaze just as steady. "Your very ... tactile. Loving, affectionate, kissing your friends for example." He smiled innocently into Orli's suspicious gaze and started rubbing the arm he'd had clamped.
"For instance.. say you bounded up; he slipped his arm unthreateningly round the slim waist; And wrapped me in hug." He pulled a bit tighter. "And went to kiss say.. my cheek.. right." His brow quirked to set off the smirk that was in full bloom by now. "And I forgot myself..." He paused long enough to make Orlando think he was meant to answer that somehow? Then Viggo's expression changed. The storm cloud gathering too quickly and with too much force to avoid. "And did this.." His lips replaced his thumb, kissing Orlando with a tenderness that surprised and had him responding in seconds. He'd been ready for a battle, but this gentle devotion to his mouth was so unexpected, so warm and enticing, so - they pulled each other closer__both responding heatedly - moaning softly as the kiss deepened - *Wrong* so wrong! He pushed at the older mans chest, secretly glad Viggo wouldn't remove his arm, else he might have fallen, his knees were so weak.
"Viggo... "
He tried edging away after another moments sanity, looking for any distraction as a means to escape. Viggo's grip tightened more, pulling him back in. His eyes gleamed as he leaned closer still, his voice like a wet dream on Orlando's ear.
"It'sn fon four months and nineteen days since I last touched you. So to make sure we skip *all* the games.. tell me. Do you want me.. anything like I want you? I can feel your body calling out to mine you know.. tell me you feel it too.. tell me your still as crazy for me as I am for you."
A small, strangled noise escaped when he tried to turn away and was hauled back, the arm slipping more securely round his waist.
"No games, remember." His voice dropped in pitch, a mixture of smooth and raspy, with lust tinged edges that had always made him hard just from hearing it. Viggo's hand moved between them to trace his fingertips along the length that hardened beneath the familiar touch.
"I love the way you feel..here in my arms."
He hissed at the soft contact. Wanting it to strengthen and wanting it to stop. "Viggo..please...stop."
But he wasn't to be swayed by words, when his lover's body was purring from his touch. "ve tve the way you taste." He tickled the jumping pulse point with his tongue, causing the man to shudder against him. "The way your throbbing in my hand tells me you love the way I touch you."
Orlando whimpered, shaking his head, but his body continued happily responding to the intoxicating touch, craving it like a much needed drug.

It had to be someone else's fingers laced in the dark silky hair, holding Viggo's lips to his neck as they continued a tingling journey upwards. The part of him that dreamed of this man almost every night told him to forget the past, forget what he knew was going to happen *after*.
What little part was left of his rationality was shouting at him to put an end to it now!
His mouth opened to respond to his rational side and Viggo captured it with his own. Moaning in ecstasy when his tongue slipped easily inside. Orli's fingers tightened in his hair on reflex and he hugged the young man to him in a grip of possession that brought them in full contact.
He was reminded once more by jarring bolts, that melted his muscles, and the whirlwind that dazed his mind, of the thunderstorm that was Viggo's kiss.
He fell bodily into it, buckling under the assault, clinging to the mans shoulder and hair like his life would end if their lips parted. He felt the rush, like falling, anticipation of pleasures to come swam through him, swarmed his mind with images. He moaned so deeply into the kiss, Viggo pulled back.
Eyes fluttering, lips starting to swell. "More." He insisted and Viggo nearly groaned his words, "God I've missed you so much." before crashing their lips back together. The possessive slide of hands over his ass, gripping, pulling them into a slow grind was enough to topple them over the edge of need, into mind numbing desire.
That little voice scolded once more, don't allow this to happen. A reminder of regrets to come.
But the part him, that part that was allowing the man with smoldering blue eyes to undo his pants, moaning when the calloused hand slid ovelvetlvety, hard heat, batted the little bugger away with a thrust of his hips. "Oh.. f.. fuck." His head lolled back, secure in the mans embrace.

His hand slid further down, cupping the sac gently, he let a stray finger graze over the perineum, quite aware of how oversensitive the area was when Orlando was aroused. He arched a silent plea in Viggo's grip while the man watched, amazed at the vivid emotions dancing across Orli's face - confusion, fear, awareness and then the two that felt like a punch in the gut, hope and acceptance - it took his breath away. Then the fingers laced through his hair tugged, demanding he stop staring and put his lips back to use. If it was possible, the silent demand made him even harder than he was seconds before.
Every moment until he could make love to Orlando again was ticking away at his sanity. He stilled the intended kiss, removed his hand, felt Orli's disapproving groan down to his toes. He pressed their foreheads together, eyes pleading, "Come with me, stay with me tonight. Let me make this right."

Here was a young man, pushing against the hand that tried zipping him up, for friction. Dark eyes, half lidded with desire, ready to fall shut in ecstasy, and he waited with held breath, fearful of being turned down.

"Let's hurry."

It was a good plan -'hurrying'- but every time they neared a spot dark enough to shelter prying eyes, Viggo put a lip lock on him that would shame a whore.

Later he would remember this, wondering if Viggo had done it just to keep lust alive.

But right now he was recalling just how much he loved this man, how right it felt to be lying naked beneath him.
Prickles of anticipation dancing up his spine, raised the fine hairs on his arms when Viggo poised on all fours above him. Every tendril of his being reached out to the man who was reacquainting his eyes with his lovers form. Remembering familiar territory, seeing new changes a few months apart had brought on.
Filling out, becoming impossibly more beautiful than before.

His impatient cock twitched under the silent perusal and Viggo's patience ended. Orlando cried out under the sudden attack of an open mouth, fingers and tongue and hands, everywhere. Leaving a peaked nipple to go worship the sun. Dragging openmouthed, tongue flicking out to taste over a hipbone, down the sensitive join of leg as a knee nudged his own apart. Dipping in his navel, tracing a path straight up to devour his mouth and back again.
His varied tempo, from frantic urgency to leisurely abandon, toying with him, taking him to the brink of ecstasy, only to slack off, letting him crash back to a void empty of touch. Was the only thing keeping him from spilling his load in the slick heat of that voracious mouth.
His head thrashed against the soft pillow, fists clenching. "No more...no."
He arched in a silent cry when the tongue danced across his perineum, an opening act for the two fingers that slid inside. He wanted - he needed - *more*. Bigger, harder, faster and "Now Viggo.. please!"
Legs pressed his open further. The bed indented beside each shoulder. Warm, breathy pantsnnednned his lips. The first nudge of a gloriously swollen head was felt and....
"Has there been anyone else Orlando?"
Confused and semi-desperate, his first instinct was to lie. Make the man feel jealous if possible. His body arched of it's own accord and Viggo withheld. His voice more urgent, almost angry this time.
"Answer me damn it! Has there been someone else?" He shifted his weight, the hard slick rod pressed in a little more, before slipping back out.
Nearly delirious with need, Orli growled his frustration, before snapping to the reason behind the question as *bare* flesh teased him again.
"No Viggo..you." His eyes met the others in reassurance. "There's only you... only ever been yooo.." The rest turned into a moan as Viggo sank slowly into him, filling him, over and again, unable to pause. Needed so badly, waited so long. So perfect.. just right.. each agonizing,derfderful stroke after another.
He kissed each fan of lashes, eyes as deep and dark as an ancient Irish bog locked onto his, holding each others in an intense, yet supremely tender, gaze.
He moaned softly against each slow rhythmic thrust. Bodies remembering well the language they had learned together. Moving in tandem, shifting, angling for perfect penetration to make his lover's soft, incoherent pleas, flow from his throat in a nonstop melody of desire. Each chorus rising in volume as he was pierced and penetrated over and again.
Each cry, every touch, sent a shockwave of pleasure straight through Viggo's brain on direct route to his cock. Eyes lost focus for friction, he settled his weight down, resting on one forearm. Watching those perfectly bowed lips part to emit a deep pleasurable groan as the other hand slid under his ass, pulling him up, sinking deeper with each new thrust that opened his lover even more in the throes of passion.
He groaned against the first tingles of his approaching climax, slipping a hand between their sweat slicked bodies, before burying his face against his Orli's throat. Nipping gently at first, harder as each sensation grew in proportion.
Orlando's body began to tighten around him. His arms, his legs, the satiny inner walls that sheathed him like a vice as he went rigid, before erupting in Viggo's grip.
"Yes, baby, that's right, come for me." He kept a firm grip, savoring every delicious whimper and moan he could coax, before releasing himself with a growl, hard and deep inside his lover. He let Orlando's slick cock slip from his hand and slid it under his shoulders, hugging them fiercely together, possessing the offered lips with a moan. So good. Thrusting, twitching deep inside until their orgasm faded away.
The kisses gentled, deepened, searching. The first furious need sated, this one would be slow to build, interlocking rigid flesh into a willing inferno of silk at leisure. Or maybe *not* so leisurely.
He rolled off to one side when he felt Orlando hardening beneath him.
"I'm to old to do *that* again; his fingertip traced up the underside of a now rigid erection; *this* quick."
"You don't have to do a thing." Orlando assured with a smile.

~~*~*~*~*~

Only gradually did cruel reality penetrate his thoughts upon waking. Settling on him and crushing the air from his lungs like a led weight. The other led weight being Viggo, arms clasped about him, legs tangled beneath the sheets. He shouldn't be here. So wrong. He bolted from bed, Viggo's reach to late. Jeans slid on in record time, toeing on his shoes as clothes were tossed aside looking for his shirt.
Viggo's soft sleepy plea to come back to bed-into his arms-too tempting.
"I've gotta go!" He couldn't want this. Viggo wasn't his to want. Not to be with, make love to, spend his life...He panicked when Viggo started to rise.

'Stupid fucking fool', chanting nonstop in his brain, anger lacing his usual soft cadence.
"Don't say it.. don't say anything... I already feel the fool falling back into bed with you when I knew you ... I... this never shoulda happened!" The door was already slamming on his last word.

~~*~*~*~*~

"If your sure your rig right, I'm goin then." He pulled a somewhat stiff Orlto ato a hug, "I'll see ya next month okay, take care of yourself til then?" Orlando nodded, assuring he would.
"Don't do anything..for the premiers Lij, please?"
He grinned, blue eyes wide and innocent as the door closed behind him.

Orlando couldn't help but smile after him. He knew the little bugger meant well but, trust him. "Not on your life!" He told his mirrored image. "Great." He looked like shit. Eyes puffy and red, just in time for the photo shoot.
"Gee.. won't they be happy. Fuck'em!" He flipped through his little book of numbers, hoping his old friend was still at the number he had listed.
He was determined *this* premier with Viggo would be different.
There would be absolutely no seducing him into bed (like every other time they were near each other) this time. If he needed a little help from a friend to make sure of it, so be it.

"Chris! That you mate?"
"ndo?ndo? Bloody fuckin bloomin marvelous! I was just wankin on you the other the day. Well what'd ya know! What gives beautiful?"
"Welllll... I've kinda a little problem that could use your *special touch* so to speak. You doin anything next month?"


TBC