Heaven in Your Eyes

Chap: 19
A soft sound of distress tore unwillingly from his throat. He wanted to step back, unseen, to have never witnessed that touch of lips, the way Viggo's hand rested on Karl's hip. He felt the sudden need to gouge out his eyes, but he just stood there, feeling the fool.
Viggo flinched as ice shot up his spine. He couldn't remember if he pushed Karl away or the man stepped back, all he could see was his Orli, just visible in the light that filtered that far to the side of the house. But clear enough to see his normally serene happy features go from achingly vulnerable, to incredibly pained in the space of a heartbeat. Then he melted back into the shadows. His shock was so enormous he wondered for a moment if it were even real. Then Karl apologizied, confirming his fear.

"Fuck! Watch the grill!" He vaulted the rail and took off, running into the wall of guests at the front. He looked over their heads, not spotting him and just started pushing through the crowd.
Orli finally broke free from the crowd, headed for home at a rapid pace. His brain sizzled and fried, then popped. Tears of anger spilled nonstop over stinging rims.
"All this time!" A quick over the shoulder glance proved he wasn't being followed but picked up his pace further still.And And why would I be followed. Viggo looked quit content where he was." He muttered, anger and frustration combing to lethaly unhealthy proportions. From the first time he'd kissed Viggo, really kissed him, he'd known there was more than a fair share for some hazardous fallout in this relationship.Desire and infatuation had been merely the visible tip of the iceberg that ran much deeper inside his psyche. When realization blossomed from the depths of consciousness with all the force and speed of an atomic explosion a few weeks back, he swam straight up the river of *de-Nile*. No way could he be that much in love, no possible way! But the cold hand of reality now gripping his heart spoke differently.

"Well Mum! Here it is! The shit I get to wade through after stepping right in it. Hell, I fucking dove into it! All this bloody fucking time..right under me freaking nose!" Every snide remark, every insinuation Karl had ever made..."True!"
The word said aloud caused his heart to congeal into an icy leaden lump. Tears stopped just as quick as they'd started, and the hand that reached for his doorknob, he noticed, had stopped shaking.

The eyes that met Viggo when he jerked Orlando around were murderous black pools of ice. That dark gaze filled him with something beyond heartbreak. One cold, emotionless, tiny word, shattered it.
"Why?"
The soft breeze fluttered the tree leaves, filtering just enough streetlight through to allow Viggo wittness Orl Orli had cryed.
"Baby please." His shaky hand lifted to cup a streaked cheek and Orlandos quick retreat landed him against the door.
"I don't think that would be wise."
His voice was disturbingly calm and cold, eyes darker than night glared at him, sharp with contempt. It left Viggo feeling hollow, unsure of what his next move should be. He saw Orli bend an arm behind him, searching for the handle to the door that might seperate them if he didn't say something.
"Can we go inside, so I can explain..."


"*Explain*!" His voice shrilled, barely containing the unbridled hostility that surged within, his frame went rigid with it.
"Exactly what aspect of this do you think to explain to me."

Did the man truly mean to deny what he'd clearly witnessed? And now that he knew *everything* Karl had hinted at was also..true. ' The thought filled him with a nauseous rage.

"Let me clarify this very simply for you. We were fucking. No words of love or tomorrows ever passed our lips. The movie is as good as over...now so are we. And I *will not* continue to be your bitch in heat for one more night, now that I know you're screwin that mad dog from hell.
"I'm *not* screwing any...."
He snorted his disbelief , cutting the older man off with a "Yeah, whatever! Thanks for the *ride* Viggo.. it's been a thrill a minute." He jerked the forbidding door open and Viggo grasped at any straw.
"If there was nothing...why so angry?"
He turned just enough to pin him with that icy glare for horrendously long seconds. "Same reasons as you gave Viggo. Only mine aren't false accusations."
His chin had raised defiantly, biting over each word as if they poisoned his mouth on their way through. The usually warm brown eyes that had melted his heart, now flicked over him with disgust.
"Don't ring..the phone or the door. Good-bye Vig."

~~*~*~*~*~

When Viggo returned from his wandering at near dawn, his house was deserted. Someone had even *thoughtfully* locked up. "After a fucking year and half they can't remember I don't lock my doors?" He muttered bitterly, making his way around back. He bent to retreive a small bag someone had left behind and closed his eyes when he passed the spot Orli had been standing. He sighed his relief when the latch clicked open, tossing the bag to the counter as he passed to get a shower. He had less than an hour to be at work. 'Great, I'll have to eat there. Orli always ate there. Stop it right now. Remember, abide by his wishes for a couple of days, let him cool down.'

'Easier said than done.'
He now fully realized the meaning of that simple phrase when he walked in the trailer.
Head tilted, allowing the last ear to be glued in place. His dark fan of lashes fluttered from his cheeks at the sound, meeting his gaze in the mirror. The pain that seized his chest was worsworse he was certain, than a blunt sword being driven through his heart. The way he looked, It wasn't exactly hate Viggo thought, there was just a coldness there, as if he wished they'd never met. It was the type of look that would haunt him his remaining days, he knew. Then it was gone.
"Morning Viggo."
It was barely audible..and it was Viggo, not Vig.
His fingers itched to grab the elf from his chair and shake some sense into him, then hold him
close and tell him how wrong he'd been, how afraid, how ashamed he felt now.
"Morning Orli." He slumped in his chair, eyes closed, unable to ignore the torrent of emotions
when Stacy started snapping at him the moment the door. He knew she would hear, so he told her the truth. She scolded and ranted, and called him the fool that he was. When she started to babble they were made for each other as tears slid down rosy cheeks, he had to leave.

The elf's absence from the breakfast room didn't cause him to lift a brow and their scenes together were over. He became like a living ghost he heard people talk of, but rarely glimpsed. And so their few remaining days drug on until Viggo thought he might actually snap.

He slammed the phone down again. If one more hobbit, elf or *Karl* called to apologize, invite him out or treat him like an incapable lunatic one more time...
He wondered...no, of course they were giving Orli the same treatment.
But *he* would tell them to sod off and not offend them. That was just his nature.
If he told them that, it would be so far out of character for Viggo, he'd just be an *ass*.
He grabbed the first thing on the counter his hand contacted and hurled it across the kitchen. The bag busted on impact, spilling it's contents to the floor.
"Fucking hell!"
Now he was going to have to buy someone a new bag. He started to scoop the contents back in when something still inside caught his eye. He payed more attention replacing the items, recognizing then, the owner could be no other.

~~*~*~*~*~

It'd been a fourteen hour day. A couple of retakes on a screwed up scene, besides the regular days shots, in and out of costume and makeup twice, he was exhausted. But forseeing no other problems it would all end in two days and he would hop a flight home, leaving middle earth far behind, for now at least. PJ had already told them to expect the reshoot calls.
'How am I ever going to get through any of those, not to mention publicity or promos without going mental? Maybe I should speak to PJ...he could just hear his Mum.
'You made your bed..'
He sat in the chair staring at his drawn features in the mirror with a kind of serene detatchment, wondering when the misery and sorrow would start, why it didn't hurt yet everytime he breathed. But all that continued, was this feeling of hollowed out numbness. Or maybe it did hurt and the beating void in his chest could no longer grasp the concept of pain.
His gaze was drawn to the next mirror, Viggo's mirror. A hundred tiny details, picture upon picture that wove together the fabric of a fellowship, of friendship and eventually, love. Now, all of it gone. Ripped apart in an instant that left everything changed. They'd never be the same.

He tooe loe long way around through the building to parking, as had become his usual these last few days. Always careful to avoid *someone* who might be waiting, that he had no wish to see. He heard his name called and backed up the few steps to peek in the door.
"Come in here." PJ motioned for him. "We're reviewing some dailys, stay a minute, you've got to see these, they're great." He stood just a little behind the hobbit mans chair and watched himself appear on screen. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get used to seeing that.
But the young prince on that screen, the one that strolled confidently up to his king, wasn't him. That one radiated happiness. And if there was ever a doubt in his mind, it was erased in that instant. The love gleaming in his eyes was going to be visable for all and any who cared to see it.
His thoughts of that day rushed through him with a sickeneing wave of nausea. He had been thinking of spending his first night with Viggo, confessing how much he meant to him, confessing his love.
His void shattered.
"They're great Pete. I gotta go, dead on my feet." His voice scratched over his raw throat, tightened by emotion. He didn't care for the weird looks he received, he had to go, maybe someday they'd understand.

Edges of his world blackened, enveloping him in it's false calm beforesplisplintered, ripping into him viciously. Blinding him with remembered words and touches that cut like blades across his skin, through his heart, into his very soul. A pain like none he'd encountered washed over him, paralyzing him til he couldn't breath. It settled in his chest, crushing him til he thought his heart might stop beating. When he exited the back door, the parking lot tilted at an odd angle. He reached out for the safety and support of the wall, leaning gratefully against it to let this dizziness pass.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the litlle princess. Hiding from someone? Or, just hiding in shame maybe."
He left his head hanging as it was. He didn't think he could stand looking at this man right now without wanting to kill him. Let alone seeing the sneer he could hear, plastered across that face.
"Fuck off Urban!"
"Aww...sore looser are we?" He snorted his amusement, then planted a hand on the wall next to Orlando and leaned down a little closer. "You never had a chance you know. Viggo was always mine. He just wanted to play with you for awhile, and well...I never was one to deny my man anything. As long as he kept coming back to *me*." His shrug was lost on Orli. " You are a pretty little thing..and he *was* infatuated. Told me the sex was amazing..couldn't get enough. Oh, and just so there's no concern.... I went for the test too... Viggo's idea, ya know."
His head rose slowly to meet Karl's smirking face. Eyes so cold and black it made Karl shudder, but didn't stop him from going in for the rest of the kill with his 'ill gained information'.
"Everything was okay of course. And Viggo's blood pure ure is back to normal levels..just in case you were wondering. Well! Someone's waiting on me, ta ta princess!"

He should have decked him. He wanted to, but he was stunned beyond movement. Any hope he'd had that this was all a *nasty* mistake of some kind was forever wiped away.
He couldn't actually recall walking the distance, but somehow he was at his jeep. Opening the door he fell face first across the seat, to weak to move. Every memory that attacked, sent a new sliver of pain slicing through him until he could take it no more and opened his mouth to allow out, the one name his heart was screaming inside.

~~*~*~*~*~

"Stop your damn pounding already, I've a bloody headache the size..."
Viggo looked as bad he felt. 'Good.' He spotted the bag and grabbed it. "Thanks." He mumbled before swinging the door shut.
"Bloody hell, can't you ever just let a door close?"
He stepped just inside the door. "Were you staying?"
"What?" He crossed the room and dumped bag and contents in the trash. He wanted *that* reminder forever gone.
"Tell me..the truth Orlando. I have to know. Were you staying that night."
"It's none of your fucking business what I was gonna do then or what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Don't you understand *over*? Now get out."

"Shit!" He'd forgotten how fast Viggo could move. He hadn't even made it to the stairs before he was pinned to the wall.
"Tell me!"
He was so close Orli could pick out the grey flecks of each angry blue eye.
"Let.. go..of me." He tried pushing and made it worse. Made him angrier, he never remembered seeing Viggo angry, not like this. He pushed again.
"Stay..still." He pinned his wrist above him with one hand, clenched his face with the other and planted a thigh between his legs and pushed.
"Say the words and I release you."
"Sod off Mortensen!"
Something foreboding slid into Viggo's eyes. Something dark and dangerous and totally not Viggo.
"So you like this then." He caught the wicked little smile before his head was forcibly tilted and Viggo started to taste him. Licking up the column of his throat with what he could only describe as a growl.
"Fucking get off me!"
"Tell me Orlando. A simple yes will earn your release."
"Stop playing fucking games Viggo. I'm not teasing."
Viggo chuckled against the smooth skin before he drew it between his lips. He felt the tremor, then the young mans body go rigid with denial.
"It's a simple request, he nuzzled the spot beneath the ear that always melted the young mans knees; one word for your release, why do you deny me. Or is it that you don't want to deny me, you don't want me to stop?" Hips shifted to test Orli's state of arousal. Finding it well inflamed, his voice went low and enticing. "I know you still desire me." He sucked the tender flesh once more between his lips, a little harder when he heard the others breath hitch. He knew it was so wrong, so very, very wrong to use sex as a tool and it would probably come back to slap him in the face. But with this evasive elf that had went all out to avoid him, he was left with no choice. Anything to make Orlando talk to him.
"Is that why you won't answer a simple question?"

Viggo's hand left his hip, traveling up to cup a cheek as lips grazed their way across his other cheek. He pulled back enough to bring Orli's distressed features in focus. Slid a thumb along trembling lips. 'So much beauty in one person. It was damn near torture not to kiss him'.
"Tell me baby...were you?"

No good. This was no good. He missed it already. This touch, so right, so warm and loving and confusing upon his cheek. Lips parted slightly beneath the thumbs caress and he felt Viggo's shudder. Felt the need of his own bodies betrayal.
"Viggo." His eyes scrunched in shame at the moan it came out as. Hissing when the thumb dipped inside to contact his tongue, willing himself not to push into the hips that rested against his. "Stop this..now."
He watched his baby visibly fight for a control that was slipping fast. Hands were clenching into fist above the wrists he had clamped to the wall.
"Only you can..you know how. Do you really want it to stop?"

'No, no, no..never. I'm so in love with you - fucking idiot that I am - I never want it to stop. I want you to hold me and tell me any lie you wish as long as you'll make love to me and make Karl's words disappear'. He was starting to shake, Viggo's breath suddenly closer, fanning hot across his lips.
"Yes!" He seethed the word out, panicked, twisting his head from side to side. Making sure he didn't receive the kiss twoulwould start his surrender. Viggo pulled back more to study him better and Orlando seized the extra strength from the panicked adrenaline rush and pushed away. Twisting and breaking free, only to find Viggo still clamped to a wrist.
"Orli...please I never.."
"No!" He almost shouted. "No lies or half twisted truths. You told me once I meant more to you than a quick lay Viggo, that was all. You didn't offer and I didn't expect any promises. Great.. wonderful, we had a good time.
But It. was to mean. nothing.. Viggo; he ground out the last words, hating himself for his own lies; It was going to be nothing more than a night. Now I've given you what you asked." He jerked away from the slightly stunned man and backed off.
His arms wrapped across his bare chest, chafing lightly at each trembling arm and Viggo moved instinctively to warm him. The only thing *cold* about Orlando, were the eyes that snapped up to meet his in warning.

He took a shaky step back, willing his jaw to stop clenching enough to speak.
"I need you to leave Viggo. Now." He breathed everevery syllable in pure pain, looking sadly away from the pain he thought those words caused in the other's own eyes. He knew it was mere wistful imaginings and Viggo's truly compassionate heart that might make him feel bad, nothing more.

"Again I ask..why are you so angry then..If I mean so little to you?"

He rubbed at the bridge of his nose in feigned frustration, fighting to halt the well of tears and the avalanche of loving phrases that desperately sought their release. He took a deep breath and used every skill he'd learned to sound weary instead of heartbroken.
"I never said you meant nothing. I've always considered you a good mate; he looked up, knowing he'd have to face him to make the words stick. Words that really weren't far from the truth; It hurts being lied to by anyone, let alone.."
He could literally see that intense spark darken blue eyes and the rest of the words died on his lips.
"I've never lied to you Orlando." He claimed the lie in such an evone one Orli wished he could believe.
"Not admitting the truth is the same as lying." That spark flashed and he was in Viggo's arms, his own crossed ones trapped between them.
"What the.."
"What?" Viggo cut him off and hauled him the few feet necessary to press him once more to the wall. Orli saw that dark, almost ominous glint from earlier, slip back in to replace the spark.
"What do you think I've kept from you?"
Silence
"Is this shit still about Karl?"
Eyes closed, continued silence.
The hands that gripped forearms shook him slightly, like he'd wanted to in the trailer the other morning.
"Answer me damn it!"

He flinched at the angry shout not a foot away from his throbbing skull. To say yes, would make all his earlier words lies. Leave him open and vulnerable to a further attack.
"What is it going to take to get you to believe there's nothing.."
"Stop it!" His own shout exploded in his head. He wrenched free his hands to rub at tender temples. "You just don't get it do you. Your searching for something that's just not there Viggo. I thought it might be... but.. but I've come to realize it was just; he shrugged, the motion causing Viggo to release him and step back; you know.. sex. Infatuation, hero worship. Call it what you want. Whatever it was.. it's gone."
He stopped rubbing and looked into very disturbed, extremely irate eyes.

"Your lying."
His toneless response gave Orli the insane need to giggle.
"Hmm.. Pot.. Kettle." He stared back into unflinching gaze. Afraid to make a sudden move and startle the intense scrutinizer Viggo had become. One false move and...
"Say it!"
"What?" He jumped, so far out in left field his thoughts had wandered, he almost forgot where they were.
"Your lying..say it!"
"Leave it Viggo. I already answered the question that was supposed to have you out the door and then some. I don't feel like playing at this anymore, yeah? I've a headache and an early call, so if you don't mind.."
"I mind! Besides, said I would release you... not leave." A hand planted to each side of his head thwarted his intended escape, so he bravely met the inquiring gaze.
"I don't know what game your playing at.. but I don't believe you. I've seen it in your eyes from the start my ferocious elfling." He smiled. More of a dangerous warning to the received glare, than any attempt at levity. "I see seem to be remembering something.. you seem to have forgotten."
A brow quirked in question even as eyes widened with apprehension.
"Don't you recall what you said to me under the stars, laying sated and happily exhausted in my arms?"
He was almost happy when Viggo leaned in to whisper against hir. r.

His eyes slammed shut, the mere mention of that night made him swell instantly as his mind was assailed bsionsions of that *too* perfect night. Gentle lips exploring the insides of his thighs, remembered impressions of his lover inside, the feel of being surrounded by Viggo's heat not half an hour later. Tantalizing, enticing one another for every ounce of passion they could give and then talking of everything and nothing at all until they fell asleep. It had been perfect, until he woke, still snuggled against each other in the warmth of the sleeping bag.
His finger traced the scared lip and Viggo had smiled in his sleep. Smiled and reached for him, and the atomic blast had went off.
He was overcome by the same wave of love that had shook him to the core that morning. One so strong it rocked him where he stood. Made him dizzy with pain. 'Bloody hell! Love wasn't supposed to be like this.'

"It hasn't been that long ago. I'm sure you can drag up the memory."
Warm breath hovering next to his ear brought him back to an unwanted reality with a thud. Of course he remembered stupidly telling the man 'no one had ever - could ever - make him feel the way he did'. Fuck!

He waited until he thought Viggo might actually say it, using the time to unclench his throat, but no matter. The words still sounded bitter and tasted just as nasty coming out.
"I'm taking it your talking about our all night screw session in the sleeping bag, hmm; shrug; said a lot of things that night. You know how it goes, get a bit over excited, say things in the heat of passion."
He tried, but couldn't bring himself to say 'things you don't mean'.
"You've been there.. I'm sure." If Viggo would have hit him, he wouldn't have been surprised, would have preferred it to the silent retreat and quiet click of the door.

~~*~*~*~*~

"Say that again."
"I said your plan won't work if he's not here."
"He's not coming to the wrap party?"
"Not unless it's a supersonic jet bringin him."
"What in the fuck are you talking about Dave?"
"Elijah left half an hour or so ago to drop him at the airport. He was able.."
He trailed off realizing Viggo was no where to be seen.

~~*~*~*~*~

He was out of breath. His car was probably going to be towed, but he didn't care. He leaned against a pillar, waiting for his breath to catch up while he watched Orli shift from one foot to another, staring out the window over an almost deserted runway.
Viggo looked at the board. If it left on time that still gave him almost ten minutes. Now,if he only knew what to say.

"I'm going to throttle Elijah!"
Viggo had expected the first words to be completely different and couldn't help but smile. "That would be Dave, not Lij."
"Fucking cunt, and what the hell are you doing here? We've nothing to say to." He stopped short, pressing back to the wall when Viggo stepped forward.
"We were supposed to be doing this at a party tonight but."
"Doing what? I'm not *doin* anything with you. There are people here Viggo. Now leave me to go."
He didn't know why he was whispering when the only three other people in this area were a good fifty feet away, but he would play along.
He moved forward, standing but a scant breath away and Orlando could feel the heat mixed with frustration radiate from him in physical form. Trying to find the right words amongst all he wanted to say in the given amount of time.
"I wanted to give you this." He pressed an envelope and a small gift box into Orli's hand, relishing the contact of what seemed like eons since their last. "No. Don't say a word. I bought it a month ago for you, so...you should have it." He relinquished the hand when it tugged a second time, shifting to deposit the items in the carry on he shouldered.
"Can I leave now?" He felt like he was addressing a blank wall. Viggo was staring into him, not at him. Quickly unnerving him. He started to move and Viggo pressed against him, showing he was far from through.
"I can barely accept you're leaving; he palmed a cheek, letting his thumb graze the smooth surface, missing the way Orli used to lean into it; I'm going to miss you so much."
"Don't do this Viggo..please."
"I thought a lot about what you said last night.. the way you said it. I know your hurting Orli..... I can feel it. I can always feel you, like a part that completes me. I don't know how things got so screwed up...it wasn't supposed to end."

He waited for him to tag on an ending, then realized he was through. 'It wasn't supposed to end'
His chest began to ache, lifting trembling fingers he allowed himself this final touch, tracing the contours oft his beautiful mans face. A face that was already etched permanently in his mind. He felt his control slipping and withdrew his hand just as his flight was announced.
"It's.. I need to go."
Viggo's eyes squeezed shut, he pressed his forehead gently to Orli's, breathing him in, knowing he should, knowing he had to, but not knowing how to let go.
"Don't leave...take a later flight at least, let us talk."
"Mum's expecting me."
"She has a phone."
"Viggo."
The second call rang out and his eyes raised, searching, his lips brushed featherlight against Orlis before he drew back to let him pass.
He headed for the gate as tears welled in his eyes. It was desperately difficult to walk away, unable to look back least he throw himself at Viggo, beg him to choose him over that....
With the dull pain tearing through him, his eyes stinging and sore with repressed tears, he passed from Viggo's sight.
Who stood, staring sadly after the retreating form, "This isn't over baby, I'll never let you go."


TBC