To Travel With Wings

A/N: I am writing this on wordpad because my ignorant computer decided it wanted to crash and I haven't yet loaded Microsoft Word, been very busy.

Thanks Daughter of Olorin for your review. I'm glad your still enjoying everything, only a few more chapters until the conclusion. Oh, and the Avari are actually Tolkiens.

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For the next few months, Silnar directed the Avari in the building of a great ship. It was to be an ark of enormous porportions, enough to hold all the Avari and sail them directly to Aman. The building was slow going, for many reasons. The Avari had never before built something so great, and they had no knowledge whatsoever of seafaring vessels. Silnar herself knew only what her dreams told her; there were many trials and errors.

Eventually, however, the ship began to take form, and it was beautiful. The Avari were eager to work on it from dawn until dusk; they were eager to be gone from a land that wearied their souls. As the days increased and winter began to bear down on them, the Avari worked ever faster. With the approaching winter would come harsh storms and they had no wish to see their beautiful creation destroyed by the fierce winds.

Silnar felt apathetic towards the entire endeavor. She had sunk into a deep, melancholy mood. Smiles no longer graced her face and she rarely spoke except to instruct Minyatur on the building of the ark. The Avari worried for their savior. Not even the children, which Silnar adored beyond distraction, could bring happiness to her eyes. Minyatur was especially worried, because he alone knew the source of her despondancy.

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Humming softly to herself, Silnar closed her eyes and let the cool breeze brush across her face. She inhaled the salt of the sea, but did not smell it. No, to her the tanginess of the ocean was the sweet scent of flowers, warmed by a golden sun. The crashing of the waves was instead the rustling of broad trees, their branches scraping each other in the sultry breeze of summer. Standing beside her was Glorfindel, his firm hand enclosed around hers, their skin rubbing together as they traversed the little used paths of Imladris.

The sweet sounds of birds fluttered above them, a few darting in their path as they searched for seeds or bits of grass to build their nests. And now, Glorfindel would gently kiss her fingers, murmuring to her of the beautiful day and how much he adored her. She would smile at him, ever so softly, and kiss his lips in response. Conversation wasn't really necessary, not between them. Words seemed so trivial, so sordid. There was no language that could describe the feelings they shared. To try and express it would be to taint its purity.

Silnar was ripped from her dreamy state by the clearing of a throat. Opening her eyes, Silnar looked at Minyatur and gave him a tiny smile. He did not return it.

"I have worried over you, these nights," he said softly, his eyes not leaving hers. "You do not need to lead us, Silnar. I am capable of guiding this ship."

"You know that cannot be," Silnar said sharply. "It was I in my dream. I will not tempt the anger of the Valar by not following it exactly."

"Then do it with a smile!" Minyatur cried out, his arms spread wide. Silnar, shocked, backed away. "I tire of your woebegone expression that you wear day in and day out. I know that you want to return to your lover, Silnar. I also know that you feel some obligation to us. I shall tell you this, Lady Silnar, we do not want to be your obligation."

Shocked, Silnar could not find any words. Stumbling, she reached for Minyatur who pushed her away. "Please, Minyatur, I-I am sorry. I had no idea you felt this way."

"Can you blame me?" Minyatur asked harshly. "For to long we Avari have been the shunned ones, the forgotten ones. Perhaps that lies in our fault alone, but we refuse to play that role. Not anymore. If you cannot lead us to Aman with pure intentions, with a good heart, then we don't want you."

Falling to her knees, Silnar clutched at Minyatur's feet. Tears streamed down her face. "Try to understand, Minyatur, the pain I go through. I have suffered so much. So much."

Minyatur's face softened and he knelt as well, drawing Silnar's face to his. "You are not alone in that suffering, Silnar. All of the Eldar suffer. That suffering will only continue until we return to the home that is ours. We are not meant to find happiness here."

"But what I want is so simple..."

"It always begins simply, Silnar. You must trust that the Valar know what is right and what they believe is right is for you to take us to Aman. Tell me, in your dreams, when you step onto the land of Aman, and we follow, are you smiling?"

Closing her eyes, Silnar thought back to her dream and stilled. "Yes," she answered hoarsely. "I am, and I glow as if the stars have touched me, brighter then I do now."

"Then smile here, Silnar, for the Avari are frightful of this unknown we are soon to depart for. You must be our strength."

Nodding, Silnar stood and smiled, but her heart was heavy and did not rejoice.